Tashamania:


@OP, I'm so sorry. Insecurity was the cause of your problem but what I dont get is why your hubby after reconciling still went ahead with seeing the other girl..

Marc9:
So short of words. Marriage is being trivialised on a daily basis.
A man just woke up and decided to marry another woman, when he already has a lovely wife he's been married to for 10yrs, and 3 wonderful kids at home? That man is more confused than a goat staring at its reflection in a river!

It used to be 'for better or worse'. Now it's 'for worse....just find another one'. No wonder the research conducted by Durex incorporation recently found Nigeria as the number one country with the most unfaithful married men/women.

A marriage without Christ is susceptible to marital crises!

bushdoc9919:


Well, first off, marriage is not for your enjoyment....it is for you to be a servant.When I get married , it will be with the understanding that I am marrying a human being....who is imperfect as I am imperfect. So....par the course.

Second, when I do get married.....I hope that I am sensible enough to rely on God to help me be a trustworthy husband so that even if I get a ''paranoid'' wife.....she will know eventually that she can trust me....and mayhap be inspired to be free from being afraid all the time.

Besides.....I won't be surprised if the hubby was not a skirt chaser before.....which is why his wife was suspicious of him in the first place. Or even if he was not....he probably was not guarding his mind well....because as the bible says....a man who looks at a woman ''that way'' has committed adultery.

If men guarded their minds well....life would be a whole lot better for families. Me, I am single....and I know I am not perfect in the mind game too. I am a man after all.....and yes, I have desires. But.....at a point in your life....you gotta learn that sacrificing your desires on the altar of service to others is good. I have a weight problem....and as a result must spend time exercising. I don't enjoy it. But.....it is better I exercise now ......rather than suffer the stroke later....and leave a wife and kids helpless! Same thing with guarding your mind....avoid rule 34 things....and your married life would be better.

Did the OP'S husband give her good reason to trust him? Because....I strongly suspect he did not.

VenusBetty:
I'm beginning to see reasons with Genevieve. Now I'm really scared, can't imagine sharing my husband. Chai!

humilitypays:
I pity most women shaa.

But all these ladies advising her and other ladies to have a career, have a PhD, have money, bla bla bla before u marry as a lady, does that solve the problem?

Ladies stop thinking that having the best career or being so educated and rich will save you from heartbreak or will secure you the happiest marriage.

hatelove:


I got married when i was quite young without proper education then my husband just got employed.
His family introduced me to him when he wanted to get married because according to them then i met his requirement.

my husband have a good paying job so i can say he have it all good

At a point in our marriage i became insecure, i went snooping on his phone, calling some of his contact , warning people unnecessarily i never knew i was destroying my marriage.
MY HUSBAND been a very patient man warned me to stay off his phone and all but i didnt listen.

When my last daughter was three i called one of his senior colleage to stay off him which made my husband angry and said im being hostile to him so he wants a divorce, the issue became so big that my husband and i got seperated.

my husband is the traditional type that doeesnt do any house chores, i taught there was no way he was going to saty without me but to my greatest surprise he stayed without me for 3 months plus he rather had his neice stay with him than myself.

His family had to interven before he reconciled with me, when we got back together i noticed he had a girlfriend this time with so many love text messages on his phone, i got emmotional n deleted them all, he noticed i deleted them without saying a word he passworded his phone by then i already had the contact of the girl unknown to him but because of our initial dissagrement i was reluctant in calling her but it got serious, my hubby started making night call , talking to her on phone for hours, visiting her n coming home back late.

It got to a point i called her and warn her to stay off my home, she wanted to know who the caller was but i ended the call, after sometime i noticed she called hubby and hubby ask her to give him the number of the caller so he can check if he knows the person, she gave him anh he told her to go bed there is nothing to worry about. he came to me and ask me why i did that, i pick up quarrel with him but he didnt say anything afterward, the next he went out and came back by 11;20 in the night. He doesnt talk much so i tried confronting him about the woman but he didnt say anything but he kept seeing and talking to her. i called the woman again to tell her to stay off my husband but she told him and that cause another misunderstanding between us, then hubby told me that he will marry her and there is nothing i can do

I got married when i was quite young without proper education then my husband just got employed.
His family introduced me to him when he wanted to get married because according to them then i met his requirement.

my husband have a good paying job so i can say he have it all good

At a point in our marriage i became insecure, i went snooping on his phone, calling some of his contact , warning people unnecessarily i never knew i was destroying my marriage.
MY HUSBAND been a very patient man warned me to stay off his phone and all but i didnt listen.

When my last daughter was three i called one of his senior colleage to stay off him which made my husband angry and said im being hostile to him so he wants a divorce, the issue became so big that my husband and i got seperated.

my husband is the traditional type that doeesnt do any house chores, i taught there was no way he was going to saty without me but to my greatest surprise he stayed without me for 3 months plus he rather had his neice stay with him than myself.

His family had to interven before he reconciled with me, when we got back together i noticed he had a girlfriend this time with so many love text messages on his phone, i got emmotional n deleted them all, he noticed i deleted them without saying a word he passworded his phone by then i already had the contact of the girl unknown to him but because of our initial dissagrement i was reluctant in calling her but it got serious, my hubby started making night call , talking to her on phone for hours, visiting her n coming home back late.

It got to a point i called her and warn her to stay off my home, she wanted to know who the caller was but i ended the call, after sometime i noticed she called hubby and hubby ask her to give him the number of the caller so he can check if he knows the person, she gave him anh he told her to go bed there is nothing to worry about. he came to me and ask me why i did that, i pick up quarrel with him but he didnt say anything afterward, the next he went out and came back by 11;20 in the night. He doesnt talk much so i tried confronting him about the woman but he didnt say anything but he kept seeing and talking to her. i called the woman again to tell her to stay off my husband but she told him and that cause another misunderstanding between us, then hubby told me that he will marry her and there is nothing i can do.
After that ive called her once or twice again and it was disaster between myself and my hubby.

I completed uni after being married to him and he didnt allow me to work saying i dont want my wife to be looking at another man and answering sir.

Now my husband says he his getting married to his love for the first time
He said he love her, he never had the opportunity to choose
He said he choose her himself and he is happy to be in love
He said she knows how to communicate him which i dont
he said he needs a friend, someone who sees marriage as love not as responsibility.
He said i sees marriage as responsibility

He asked his people to pass the message to me

He said he will still be responsible for me and our kids
He will keep us under one umbrella n everybody will be happy, its natural if i get emmotional but he is not going to hurt me
He is sorry if he is hurting me but i should know that i destroy our home not his incoming wife.

I feel terrible i cant help but regret, i taught it was a joke but to my greatest surprise its reality

I JUST SAW MY HUSBAND INVITATION CARD

PLS BE SINCERE TO me did i relly destroy my home?

Timbuktou:
I think the guy only came back because of his family's intervention. He already asked for a divorce. The marriage had ended at that point.

Tashamania:


I see.

Then the new wifey should get ready to be cheated on. As it seems, this lady's only offence was "sniffing" around her hubby's stuff cos to her, that was the only way she could have found out...
The hubby is a chronic cheat who wouldnt want to be disturbed, the new wife must take note of this..

bynat:
Hmmmm marriage, abeg if I no marry wetin go happen cos I dey fear baje

Tashamania:



Most times ladies use these lines to console themselves. Its not like they dont know that having a career is not a guarantee to successful marriages. Personally, I just see it as a plus because most modern men love successfully ladies

And again, it is not that am in support of what OP did but I still dont support cheating in marriages/relationships and that hubby was a cheat, no matter how you try to see it. Even if you try to blame the lady for "sniffing" around. How would the hubby feel if the reverse was the case? He'd probably cocck a gun and shoot her, am guessing cos since he had the nerve to leave a marriage of 10years with three kids, he's capable of anything..

babyosisi:
They prefer strong willed but loving women who they know can take charge of the family should he drop dead

hatelove:


I got married when i was quite young without proper education then my husband just got employed.
His family introduced me to him when he wanted to get married because according to them then i met his requirement.

my husband have a good paying job so i can say he have it all good

At a point in our marriage i became insecure, i went snooping on his phone, calling some of his contact , warning people unnecessarily i never knew i was destroying my marriage.
MY HUSBAND been a very patient man warned me to stay off his phone and all but i didnt listen.

When my last daughter was three i called one of his senior colleage to stay off him which made my husband angry and said im being hostile to him so he wants a divorce, the issue became so big that my husband and i got seperated.

my husband is the traditional type that doeesnt do any house chores, i taught there was no way he was going to saty without me but to my greatest surprise he stayed without me for 3 months plus he rather had his neice stay with him than myself.

His family had to interven before he reconciled with me, when we got back together i noticed he had a girlfriend this time with so many love text messages on his phone, i got emmotional n deleted them all, he noticed i deleted them without saying a word he passworded his phone by then i already had the contact of the girl unknown to him but because of our initial dissagrement i was reluctant in calling her but it got serious, my hubby started making night call , talking to her on phone for hours, visiting her n coming home back late.

It got to a point i called her and warn her to stay off my home, she wanted to know who the caller was but i ended the call, after sometime i noticed she called hubby and hubby ask her to give him the number of the caller so he can check if he knows the person, she gave him anh he told her to go bed there is nothing to worry about. he came to me and ask me why i did that, i pick up quarrel with him but he didnt say anything afterward, the next he went out and came back by 11;20 in the night. He doesnt talk much so i tried confronting him about the woman but he didnt say anything but he kept seeing and talking to her. i called the woman again to tell her to stay off my husband but she told him and that cause another misunderstanding between us, then hubby told me that he will marry her and there is nothing i can do

I got married when i was quite young without proper education then my husband just got employed.
His family introduced me to him when he wanted to get married because according to them then i met his requirement.

my husband have a good paying job so i can say he have it all good

At a point in our marriage i became insecure, i went snooping on his phone, calling some of his contact , warning people unnecessarily i never knew i was destroying my marriage.
MY HUSBAND been a very patient man warned me to stay off his phone and all but i didnt listen.

When my last daughter was three i called one of his senior colleage to stay off him which made my husband angry and said im being hostile to him so he wants a divorce, the issue became so big that my husband and i got seperated.

my husband is the traditional type that doeesnt do any house chores, i taught there was no way he was going to saty without me but to my greatest surprise he stayed without me for 3 months plus he rather had his neice stay with him than myself.

His family had to interven before he reconciled with me, when we got back together i noticed he had a girlfriend this time with so many love text messages on his phone, i got emmotional n deleted them all, he noticed i deleted them without saying a word he passworded his phone by then i already had the contact of the girl unknown to him but because of our initial dissagrement i was reluctant in calling her but it got serious, my hubby started making night call , talking to her on phone for hours, visiting her n coming home back late.

It got to a point i called her and warn her to stay off my home, she wanted to know who the caller was but i ended the call, after sometime i noticed she called hubby and hubby ask her to give him the number of the caller so he can check if he knows the person, she gave him anh he told her to go bed there is nothing to worry about. he came to me and ask me why i did that, i pick up quarrel with him but he didnt say anything afterward, the next he went out and came back by 11;20 in the night. He doesnt talk much so i tried confronting him about the woman but he didnt say anything but he kept seeing and talking to her. i called the woman again to tell her to stay off my husband but she told him and that cause another misunderstanding between us, then hubby told me that he will marry her and there is nothing i can do.
After that ive called her once or twice again and it was disaster between myself and my hubby.

I completed uni after being married to him and he didnt allow me to work saying i dont want my wife to be looking at another man and answering sir.

Now my husband says he his getting married to his love for the first time
He said he love her, he never had the opportunity to choose
He said he choose her himself and he is happy to be in love
He said she knows how to communicate him which i dont
he said he needs a friend, someone who sees marriage as love not as responsibility.
He said i sees marriage as responsibility

He asked his people to pass the message to me

He said he will still be responsible for me and our kids
He will keep us under one umbrella n everybody will be happy, its natural if i get emmotional but he is not going to hurt me
He is sorry if he is hurting me but i should know that i destroy our home not his incoming wife.

I feel terrible i cant help but regret, i taught it was a joke but to my greatest surprise its reality

I JUST SAW MY HUSBAND INVITATION CARD

PLS BE SINCERE TO me did i relly destroy my home?

Timbuktou:
I'm sorry, I have to disagree with this. The only time we hear the man cheated was after their bust up. Calling him a chronic cheat is reaching.

yokiti:

I guess you did not read the second post of the Op? You failed to read how the husband overlooked so many of her actions before passing your judgement. Most women are the architect of what is happening to them because of their action.
I am not in support of polygamy but at times, one will prefer not to have been born than being married to their spouses of today.
A bad marriage is a faster killer than poison.
.
@ Op, please remember that the fall of a man is not the end of his life, there can always be a new beginning. Engage in things that will always make you happy, empower yourself and raise your children in a way that will make them a pride of all.
Lastly, please, desist from raining curses on him because your children might be a partaker in it which I know you will not like.
No matter the advices you will get here, the last decision is yours to make because at the end, you will be at the receiving end of the choices you make or the ones made on your behalf.
May God grant you inner peace.

Tashamania:


Really?

Could he have gotten acquainted with this new girl within a space of 3months-plus to the extent of knowing shes someone he can live with?