₦airaland Forum

OATH @ 10 was bad. she never understood wat she did. she was blind-folded.

Total rubbish

kelvinmuffins3:
Total rubbish

you think so?

Sometimes the fear of sex most parents put in their children still affects them after marriage, they see it as a dirty act and don't get aroused normally...it's is a psychological thing

sinaj:
abeg someone dat read all shud summarize for me

It means open up your toto for slackness when you are young,because wen u old,ur toto will shrink,and then only hot iron can straight it.

diamondtutu:
It means open up your toto for slackness when you are young,because wen u old,ur toto will shrink,and then only hot iron can straight it.

i dunno if itz u or d op dat iz mumu

Most people are not being honest to themselves, I read this piece and I honestly share in with your past. Most people that claim one should be a virgin because God commanded us to flee from sexual immorality have they forgotten that Jesus equally said that just by think of sin, we have committed sin?

Lets be practical Christians please. I believe that most ladies should learn from this! I am not soliciting that ladies should engaged in per-marital sex, I am simply saying for those who have decided to be virgins, should know that it is only God that can give them the grace and not their self-righteousness or their ability to say no to sexual advances.

clevvermind:
“Believing that true love waits, I make a
commitment to God, myself, my family,
my friends, my future mate and my
future children to be sexually abstinent
from this day until the day I enter a
biblical marriage relationship. As well
as abstaining from sexual thoughts,
sexual touching, pornography, and
actions that are known to lead to sexual
arousal.”
At the age of 10, I took a pledge at my
church alongside a group of other girls
to remain a virgin until marriage. Yes,
you read that right — I was 10 years
old.
Let’s take a look at who I was as a 10-
year-old: I was in fourth grade. I played
with Barbie dolls and had tea parties
with imaginary friends. I pretended I
was a mermaid every time I took a
bath. I still thought boys were icky and I
had no idea I liked girls, too. I wouldn’t
get my period for another four years.
And most importantly, I didn’t have a
clue about sex.
The church taught me that sex was for
married people. Extramarital sex was
sinful and dirty and I would go to Hell
if I did it. I learned that as a girl, I had
a responsibility to my future husband to
remain pure for him. It was entirely
possible that my future husband
wouldn’t remain pure for me, because
he didn’t have that same responsibility,
according to the Bible. And of course,
because I was a Christian, I would
forgive him for his past transgressions
and fully give myself to him, body and
soul.
Once I got married, it would be my duty
to fulfill my husband’s sexual needs. I
was told over and over again, so many
times I lost count, that if I remained
pure, my marriage would be blessed by
God and if I didn’t that it would fall
apart and end in tragic divorce. I believed it. Why wouldn’t I? I was
young and these were people I trusted.
Everyone knew I’d taken the virginity
vow, of course. Gossip is the lifeblood of
my church. My parents were so
proud of me for making such a spiritual
decision. The church congregation
applauded my righteousness.
For more than a decade, I wore my
virginity like a badge of honor. My
church encouraged me to do so, saying
my testimony would inspire other young
girls to follow suit. If the topic ever
came up in conversation, I was happy to
let people know that I had taken a
pledge of purity.
It became my entire identity by the time
I hit my teen years. When I met my
then boyfriend-now husband, I told him
right away that I was saving myself for
marriage and he was fine with that
because it was my body, my choice and
he loved me.
We were together for six years before
we got married. Any time we did
anything remotely sexual, guilt
overwhelmed me. I wondered where the
line was because I was terrified to cross
it. Was he allowed to touch my breasts?
Could we look at each other naked? I
didn’t know what was considered sexual
enough to condemn my future marriage
and send me straight to Hell.
An unhealthy mixture of pride, fear,
and guilt helped me keep my pledge
until we got married. In the weeks
before our wedding, I often got
congratulated on keeping my virginity
for so long. The comments ranged from
curious (how in the world did you
manage?) to downright disgusting (I bet
you’re going to have one busy wedding
night!). I let them place me on the
pedestal as their virginal, perfect-
Christian-girl mascot.
I lost my virginity on my wedding night,
with my husband, just as I had
promised that day when I was 10 years
old. I stood in the hotel bathroom
beforehand, wearing my white lingerie,
thinking, “I made it. I’m a good
Christian.” There was no chorus of
angels, no shining light from Heaven. It
was just me and my husband in a dark
room, fumbling with a condom and a
bottle of lube for the first time. Sex hurt. I knew it would. Everyone told
me it would be uncomfortable the first
time. What they didn’t tell me is that I
would be back in the bathroom
afterward, crying quietly for reasons I
didn’t yet comprehend. They didn’t tell
me that I’d be on my honeymoon,
crying again, because sex felt dirty and
wrong and sinful even though I was
married and it was supposed to be okay
now.
When we got home, I couldn’t look
anyone in the eye. Everyone knew my
virginity was gone. My parents, my
church, my friends, my co-workers.
They all knew I was soiled and It didn’t get better. I avoided undressing
in front of my husband. I tried not to
kiss him too often or too amorously so I
wouldn’t lead him on. I dreaded
bedtime. Maybe he’d want to have sex.
When he did, I obliged. I wanted
nothing more than to make him happy
because I loved him so much and
because I’d been taught it was my duty
to fulfill his needs. But I hated sex.
Sometimes I cried myself to sleep
because I wanted to like it, because it
wasn’t fair. I had done everything right.
I took the pledge and stayed true to it.
Where was the blessed marriage I was
promised?
I let it go on this way for almost two
years before I broke down. I just
couldn’t do it anymore. I told my
husband everything. My feminist
husband was horrified that I’d let him
touch me when I didn’t want him to. He
made me promise I’d never do anything
I didn’t want to do ever again. We
stopped having sex. He encouraged me
to see a therapist and I did. It was the
first step on a long journey to healing.
Ten-year-old girls want to believe in
fairy tales. Take this pledge and God
will love you so much and be so proud
of you, they told me. If you wait to have
sex until marriage, God will bring you a
wonderful Christian husband and you’ll
get married and live happily ever after,
they said. Waiting didn’t give me a
happily ever after. Instead, it controlled
my identity for over a decade, landed
me in therapy, and left me a stranger in
my own skin. I was so completely
ashamed of my body and my sexuality
that it made having sex a demoralizing
experience.
I don’t go to church anymore, nor am I
religious. As I started to heal, I realized
that I couldn’t figure out how to be both
religious and sexual at the same time. I
chose sex. Every single day is a battle to
remember that my body belongs to me
and not to the church of my childhood. I
have to constantly remind myself that a
pledge I took when I was only 10 doesn’t
define who I am today. When I have sex
with my husband, I make sure it’s
because I have a sexual need and not
because I feel I’m required to fulfill his
desires.
I’m now thoroughly convinced that the
entire concept of virginity is used to
control female sexuality. If I could go
back, I would not wait. I would have sex
with my then-boyfriend-now-husband
and I wouldn’t go to hell for it. We
would have gotten married at a more
appropriate age and I would have kept
my sexuality to myself.
Unfortunately, I can’t go back but I can
give you this message as a culmination
of my experiences: If you want to wait
to have sex until marriage make sure
it’s because you want to. It’s your body;
it belongs to you, not your church. Your
sexuality is nobody’s business but
yours.
tarnished. I wasn’t special anymore. My
virginity had become such an essential
part of my personality that I didn’t
know who I was without it.



what do you have to say about this woman's story?

Telemundo guys will surely like this story.
Not me.

There is no justification for premarital sex.. You can't replace lost virginity! The lady is just confused

Samguine:
Your choice of lifestyle shouldn't be to impress pastors or parents or friends. It should be to please God. Be a virgin because God says sexual immorality is a sin, not because you want to look good among humans. Sex is good, beautiful and created by God Almighty. Only that it's should be within the context of marriage.

.thank u jare.... wat seems right to man is sin until God.... sex should b done in marriage do not follow mans teaching...

sinaj:
i dunno if itz u or d op dat iz mumu

why calling the op in this?

rallymento:
Most people are not being honest to themselves, I read this piece and I honestly share in with your past. Most people that claim one should be a virgin because God commanded us to flee from sexual immorality have they forgotten that Jesus equally said that just by think of sin, we have committed sin?

Lets be practical Christians please. I believe that most ladies should learn from this! I am not soliciting that ladies should engaged in per-marital sex, I am simply saying for those who have decided to be virgins, should know that it is only God that can give them the grace and not their self-righteousness or their ability to say no to sexual advances.

you are on point.

diddydiva:
i can feel the agony of a frigid woman. All thanks to her husband who handled her roughly. Most men got to learn how to handle a virgin cos it can either ruin the lady's sexual urge, emotional stability,self worth amidst others. The lady should seek the counsel of a sex therapist and psychologist. MY PIECE

Sister... Wait ooo...
U mean dere's a special way to handle virgins

I think its clear that the parents and the church misled this lady.The cause of the problem is not that she was a virgin,but the reason for it and it made her life very unbalanced.

Sex isn't evil,sex is good but should be done within marriage because outside marriage it offends God and causes a lot of problems for those engaging it it.

Its better to tell girls that than to dogmatize their mind and eventually cause more harm than good.For all those who feel that her story has justified your belief or practice of sex outside marriage,I want you to know that many women ans mwn are losing their Virginity in their 30s ,after marriage and are very very happily enjoying their sex life.

Its balance and correct teaching that got missing in that babes life.

fruityjojo:
Rubbish! There is nothing dirty or unholy Abt seX btw married couples. God created it. So I don't see how u have to choose btw being sexual and God.


Dumb Article!

Yeah yeah

Op needs to be flogged

eeyyyaaahh!...u de keep your virginity,still de keep up with the kardashians...,u be goal keeper?

AdeniyiA:
story from pit of hell

It is indeed from the pit of hell inspired by Satan to cause confusion. The premarital sex many married people regret till date. Your experience can never be greater than God's command-flee fornication

sinaj:
abeg someone dat read all shud summarize for me

Due to her abstinence from sex for fear of loosing her virginity and breaking her vow she grew a phobia for sex, which has affected her mentality negatively towards sex.

I don't think she is lying, it could happen!

fruityjojo:
Rubbish! There is nothing dirty or unholy Abt seX btw married couples. God created it. So I don't see how u have to choose btw being sexual and God.


Dumb Article!

Lolz She is just having a bad reaction to sex as a result of her phobia for it, it's a simple psychological issue, no need to crucify her for it.

nifeseun:
Lovely, wish some ladies can read this, so happy i came here and read it, thanks madam for sharing ur story, rily helped a lot..

Lolz I don't know if you are simply being sarcastic or just mocking her, how has it helped?

DollyParton1:
Lol..... so she kept her virginity till marriage only to discover it wasn't worth it.
Yeah story that touches the gods and their dibias.

LMFAO

Badgers14:
Thanks for sharing your story. Lady welcome to the world. And by the way, you did the right thing, you should be very proud of yourself.

This reminds me in my younger days, whenever I was sick, mom always get me malt and milk, indomie and eggs, fried chicken, vegetable soup , you were treated like a breakable glass when the sickness is about leaving you or you're feeling better, stuffs started to get real mom start sending you to an errand no more special food , sometimes I kinda wanted to stay sick that's childhood for you. Am glad am healthy though , miss lady smile be merry you made the right choice

Not to be a smartass and there's no doubt she made the right choice but how does your analogy of your earlier days relate to the topic at hand?

If at younger stage anybody is compelled to follow certain rules, it's okay. As soon as you are old enough to be objective about issues, you choose for yourself what you want after you have fully understood the pros and cons.

That way you are both able to take responsibility for every action and inaction and avoid regrets.

I feel that this lady didn't make efforts to understand stuff. There are books and movies and everything. It's a 'sin' to follow human beings no matter how trustworthy hook, line and sinker.

She would have been saved from regrets and all these if she wasn't following 'church'

Ojestas:
Summary , pls!

God bless you..i got tired when she was summarizing Christian values to us.

I will rather tell my daughter the choice to remain a virgin is up to her and the benefits from medical point of view not that it makes them special before their husband. What makes you special is who you are not what you are.

let's say you got d pleasure d angels d shining light d fame and all glorification before dat night.everybody new you were keeping your virginity and adored or let's say worshipped you for dat ..sooooo wat more were u asking for DAT u had not gotten. its like fasting and keeping a frowning face to show for it..lyk giving and allowing d whole world to knw