₦airaland Forum

1. Create a safe environment where you can
trust and share openly without being afraid:
Don't interrupt, even if you need to put your
hand over your mouth to stop yourself. Learn
to fight fairly. No name calling. Don't make
threats. Apologize when you know you should.
If you're too angry to really listen, stop! Go into
another room, take space for yourself, breathe,
and "calm down." Remember: your partner is
not the enemy.
2. Separate the facts from the feelings: What
beliefs and feelings get triggered in you during
conflicts? Ask yourself: Is there something from
my past that is influencing how I'm seeing the
situation now? The critical question you want to
ask: Is this about him or her, or is it really
about me? What's the real truth? Once you're
able to differentiate facts from feelings, you'll
see your partner more clearly and be able to
resolve conflicts from clarity.
3. Connect with the different parts of
yourself: Each of us is not a solo instrument.
We're more like a choir or an orchestra with
several voices. What is your mind saying? What
is your heart saying? What is your body saying?
What is your 'gut' saying? For example: My
mind is saying ‘definitely leave her,' but my
heart says 'I really love her.' Let these
different voices or parts of you co-exist and
speak to one another. In this way, you will find
an answer that comes from your whole self.
4. Develop Compassion: Practice observing
yourself and your partner without judging. Part
of you might judge, but you don't have to
identify with it. Judging closes a door. The
opposite of judging is compassion. When you
are compassionate, you are open, connected,
and more available to dialoging respectfully
with your partner. As you increasingly learn to
see your partner compassionately, you will
have more power to choose your response
rather than just reacting.
5. Create a "we" that can house two "I's":
The foundation for a thriving, growing,
mutually-supportive relationship is to be
separate and connected. In co-dependent
relationships, each person sacrifices part of him
or her self, compromising the relationship as a
whole. When you are separate and connected,
each individual "I" contributes to the creation
of a "we" that is stronger than the sum of its
parts.
6. Partner, heal thyself: Don't expect your
partner to fill your emotional holes, and don't
try to fill theirs. Ultimately, each of us can only
heal ourselves. Your partner, however, can be
supportive as you work with yourself, and vice
versa. In fact, living in a loving relationship is
healing in and of itself.
7. Relish the differences between you: The
differences between you and your partner are
not negatives. You don't need to be with
someone who shares all of your interests and
views. We may sometimes fear that these
differences are incompatibilities, but in fact,
they're often what keeps a relationship exciting
and full of good fire .
8. Ask questions: All too often, we make up
our own stories or interpretations about what
our partners' behavior means. For example:
"She doesn't want to cuddle; she must not
really love me anymore." We can never err on
the side of asking too many questions, and
then listen to the answers from your whole self
— heart, gut, mind and body. Equally
important is to hear what's not being said
— the facts and feeling that you sense might
be unspoken.
9. Make time for your relationship: No matter
who you are or what your work is, you need to
nurture your relationship. Make sure you
schedule time for the well-being of your
relationship. That includes making "playdates"
and also taking downtime together. Frequently
create a sacred space together by shutting off
all things technological and digital. Like a
garden, the more you tend to your relationship,
the more it will grow. 4 Steps To Finding Love
[VIDEO]
10. Say the "hard things" from love: Become
aware of the hard things that you're not talking
about. How does that feel? No matter what
you're feeling in a situation, channel the energy
of your emotions so that you say what you
need to say in a constructive manner.
Your tip: Do you have a great relationship tip
of your own? If so, share it with me.@ www.facebook.com/myschoolbaze

K

Nice piece

DuchessLily:
K

Nice piece

For both of us

mascot87:
For both of us

Hehehe... If I hear it!

DuchessLily:
Hehehe... If I hear it!

Maybe na God plan for your life self u now know

The number of tips,lists I have seen on dis Forum
Una go soon mak person break up mistaking,while tryin to adhere to a tip

Rules here, rules there
Tips here, tips there.
It's becoming really exhausting.



Use your head, and let your heart do the loving, end of story!

mascot87:

Maybe na God plan for your life self u now know

Nehi!

I already knw God's plan for my life

DuchessLily:
Nehi!

I already knw God's plan for my life

Then why aren't u keying into that plan by accepting me that God purposely designed for ur life? Why seeking ur own plan?

mascot87:
Then why aren't u keying into that plan by accepting me that God purposely designed for ur life? Why seeking ur own plan?

Hehehehehe....very funny

noted...