₦airaland Forum

All women are the same irrespective of religious belief

As-salamu `alaykum. I have a problem and I'm extremely embarrassed by it. I'm a married woman and my husband is away visiting his other wife and children for 4 months! It's enough I have to constantly think about how he is going to sleep with another woman, but also I've always been a very sexually aroused woman.I've had troubles with sexual desires before getting married and my husband knows that. When we first got engaged they told me that he was going to divorce his wife because she was always a "bad" wife. Then after we got engaged I realized that he was going to stay with her, and that didn't bother me because he said he's not going to go back for 5 years. He was really serious about coming to America and staying for a while.However, in the 3 years we've been married he's already visited her and his children 5 times. This time he's staying for long months. I told him I cannot stay without a husband for 4 months. I was trying to make him understand what I meant by that. But he kept telling me "imagine how my other wife and children feel, I don't see them for 10 months".I definitely understand that he needs to see his wife and children. But I keep telling myself that I was kind of tricked, because if I knew he was going to be spending this much time away from me, I would have never agreed to the marriage. I know that I need sex, it's very important to me especially if I want to stay in my deen. I cannot control myself. I was against him going for 4 months but was forced to let go.Now I have been pleasing myself, but having thoughts of him. I don't please myself with thoughts of other men, just him. I feel disgusting and ashamed but I cannot control it. He should know that, he knows what happened to me before marriage. I've changed and become closer to my deen, but we, women, have desires that need to be fulfilled too.Please, tell me what to do, I think that God forbids if my husband had died, I wouldn't be doing this to myself knowing that he's not here anymore. But just the thought that he is allowed to have sex with another woman and I'm not is driving me crazy. But that's not the main issue. I need to be pleased, I feel like I'm not like most woman, I have a strong sexual desire. A reason gets married is for sutra. Technically when you're married, you're supposed to be with each other all the time so when you have sexual needs, your husband is right there. And therefore it is permissible for a woman to ask for a divorce if her husband does not sleep with her, because it is her right. And this is how I feel.Am I committing a sin when I please myself while thinking of him or not because of how I was "tricked" in this marriage? Please, reply asap. Thank you and jazak Allah khair.

http://www.onislam.net/english/ask-the-scholar/family/intimate-relations/455363-pleasing-myself-when-husband-is-away.html

What your husband does not know will not hurt him. So get a Boyfriend somewhere that can be pleasing you when he is away, but be discreet about it.

HungerBAD:
What your husband does not know will not hurt him. So get a Boyfriend somewhere that can be pleasing you when he is away, but be discreet about it.

Here goes the Devil on Nairaland!

PaulCI:
Here goes the Devil on Nairaland!

The Devil you know is better than the Angel you dont know

Who is a muslimah

Cutehector:
Who is a muslimah

a female muslim sir

..

Jezyfreezman:
a female muslim sir

and wat is d name for male muslim? muslimus?

Spiritual konji... Oya whr r all dose boys lookin for sugar mummy.. Here is ur chance

Cutehector:
and wat is d name for male muslim? muslimus?

muslimeeh sir

Jezyfreezman:
muslimeeh sir

lol dis is getn hilarious...

I think its far more better for you to engage in self service/masturbation than to engage in adultery, though some Islamic schoolars consider masturbation haram. as u are quite aware of punishment of adultery in Islam, dont let partake into such devilish act because it will destroy your marriage and future.
Consistent prayer and Monday/thursday fasting will be helpful in controling your desire.

Self servicing is not allowed, adultery is forbidden. Islamically, it is allowed 4 a woman to divorce her husband if she is nt being satisfied sexually nd gt another husband. Some pple jst av high libido, whether muslims or non muslims, it is nt dia doing, dats jst how dey are, so once u've understand urself nd u knw u cant do without it, den go 4 a man dt is ready to b wt u. Allahu a'lam....

u knew he was married b4 u still go ahead to marry him, now u re complaining, divorce him and marry another one, one man one woman is d way......

Cutehector:
lol dis is getn hilarious...

IsLam The Religion 0f Peace Sir

Jezyfreezman:
IsLam The Religion 0f Peace Sir

pls dnt start.

Cutehector:
pls dnt start.

PEace tO YOU SIR

incase

.

Salam. Am Quzeem by name, I need a serious muslim lady for serious relationship that will lead to marry. You can mail me kaz4luv247@gmail.com or call +2347039479644 am here in lagos. Waiting for your reply. Maa salam........

I think this question has been answered on the source web site u just bring it here to cause religion fight because i see some non muslims here making trouble.

It is good for you to look for Islamic forum and foward ur complaint/question coz i don't think u'll exactly get the right responses hear.

This is a forum and anything can be discussed here. All I can see here is the disadvantages of Polygamy. Worst of all is the lies prior to the wedding. Muslimah, next time if he wants to travel, go with him. Afterall, the two wives are not quarreling.

babs01:
I think this question has been answered on the source web site u just bring it here to cause religion fight because i see some non muslims here making trouble.

no mister, read the topic again. its to show that all irrespective of religious belief we have desires that must be met...

Strongfaze:
This is a forum and anything can be discussed here. All I can see here is the disadvantages of Polygamy. Worst of all is the lies prior to the wedding. Muslimah, next time if he wants to travel, go with him. Afterall, the two wives are not quarreling.

let all see that desires are felt by muslimahs as well

Hmmm why go into the marriage in the first place? Polygamous life style doesn't suit the kind of life you want. But seriously marriage goes beyond sex though, Whatever rocks your boat.

some wonder if the muslimah are super women who under polygamy are women without need for sexual satisfaction but to satisfy the man's whims and caprices. But the above quote shows that behind that hijab or burqa, there is a very deep yearning for sexual gratification which needs to be satisfied. And secondly, does polygamy really meet the needs of the woman or just to satisfy the man?