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Desire Of A Muslimah And Self-service - Romance - Nairaland

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Desire Of A Muslimah And Self-service by jimmynauty: 2:36am On Apr 16, 2015
All women are the same irrespective of religious belief


As-salamu `alaykum. I have a problem and I'm extremely embarrassed by it. I'm a married woman and my husband is away visiting his other wife and children for 4 months! It's enough I have to constantly think about how he is going to sleep with another woman, but also I've always been a very sexually aroused woman.I've had troubles with sexual desires before getting married and my husband knows that. When we first got engaged they told me that he was going to divorce his wife because she was always a "bad" wife. Then after we got engaged I realized that he was going to stay with her, and that didn't bother me because he said he's not going to go back for 5 years. He was really serious about coming to America and staying for a while.However, in the 3 years we've been married he's already visited her and his children 5 times. This time he's staying for long months. I told him I cannot stay without a husband for 4 months. I was trying to make him understand what I meant by that. But he kept telling me "imagine how my other wife and children feel, I don't see them for 10 months".I definitely understand that he needs to see his wife and children. But I keep telling myself that I was kind of tricked, because if I knew he was going to be spending this much time away from me, I would have never agreed to the marriage. I know that I need sex, it's very important to me especially if I want to stay in my deen. I cannot control myself. I was against him going for 4 months but was forced to let go.Now I have been pleasing myself, but having thoughts of him. I don't please myself with thoughts of other men, just him. I feel disgusting and ashamed but I cannot control it. He should know that, he knows what happened to me before marriage. I've changed and become closer to my deen, but we, women, have desires that need to be fulfilled too.Please, tell me what to do, I think that God forbids if my husband had died, I wouldn't be doing this to myself knowing that he's not here anymore. But just the thought that he is allowed to have sex with another woman and I'm not is driving me crazy. But that's not the main issue. I need to be pleased, I feel like I'm not like most woman, I have a strong sexual desire. A reason gets married is for sutra. Technically when you're married, you're supposed to be with each other all the time so when you have sexual needs, your husband is right there. And therefore it is permissible for a woman to ask for a divorce if her husband does not sleep with her, because it is her right. And this is how I feel.Am I committing a sin when I please myself while thinking of him or not because of how I was "tricked" in this marriage? Please, reply asap. Thank you and jazak Allah khair.

http://www.onislam.net/english/ask-the-scholar/family/intimate-relations/455363-pleasing-myself-when-husband-is-away.html
Re: Desire Of A Muslimah And Self-service by HungerBAD: 3:36am On Apr 16, 2015
What your husband does not know will not hurt him. So get a Boyfriend somewhere that can be pleasing you when he is away, but be discreet about it.

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Re: Desire Of A Muslimah And Self-service by Nobody: 3:43am On Apr 16, 2015
HungerBAD:
What your husband does not know will not hurt him. So get a Boyfriend somewhere that can be pleasing you when he is away, but be discreet about it.
Here goes the Devil on Nairaland!

2 Likes

Re: Desire Of A Muslimah And Self-service by HungerBAD: 3:46am On Apr 16, 2015
PaulCI:

Here goes the Devil on Nairaland!

The Devil you know is better than the Angel you dont know

3 Likes

Re: Desire Of A Muslimah And Self-service by Cutehector(m): 3:56am On Apr 16, 2015
Who is a muslimah
Re: Desire Of A Muslimah And Self-service by Nobody: 5:23am On Apr 16, 2015
Cutehector:
Who is a muslimah
a female muslim sir cheesy
Re: Desire Of A Muslimah And Self-service by cutepaul(m): 5:54am On Apr 16, 2015
yawns.......well I'm here just in case
Re: Desire Of A Muslimah And Self-service by demmy0325(m): 5:59am On Apr 16, 2015
..
Re: Desire Of A Muslimah And Self-service by Cutehector(m): 6:06am On Apr 16, 2015
Jezyfreezman:
a female muslim sir cheesy
and wat is d name for male muslim? grin muslimus?

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Desire Of A Muslimah And Self-service by Cutehector(m): 6:09am On Apr 16, 2015
Spiritual konji... Oya whr r all dose boys lookin for sugar mummy.. Here is ur chance
Re: Desire Of A Muslimah And Self-service by Nobody: 6:25am On Apr 16, 2015
Cutehector:
and wat is d name for male muslim? grin muslimus?
muslimeeh sircheesy
Re: Desire Of A Muslimah And Self-service by Cutehector(m): 6:28am On Apr 16, 2015
Jezyfreezman:
muslimeeh sircheesy
lol dis is getn hilarious...
Re: Desire Of A Muslimah And Self-service by Nobody: 6:43am On Apr 16, 2015
I think its far more better for you to engage in self service/masturbation than to engage in adultery, though some Islamic schoolars consider masturbation haram. as u are quite aware of punishment of adultery in Islam, dont let partake into such devilish act because it will destroy your marriage and future.
Consistent prayer and Monday/thursday fasting will be helpful in controling your desire.
Re: Desire Of A Muslimah And Self-service by Diamondamsel(f): 7:19am On Apr 16, 2015
Self servicing is not allowed, adultery is forbidden. Islamically, it is allowed 4 a woman to divorce her husband if she is nt being satisfied sexually nd gt another husband. Some pple jst av high libido, whether muslims or non muslims, it is nt dia doing, dats jst how dey are, so once u've understand urself nd u knw u cant do without it, den go 4 a man dt is ready to b wt u. Allahu a'lam....

3 Likes

Re: Desire Of A Muslimah And Self-service by Ojochegbe1(m): 7:36am On Apr 16, 2015
u knew he was married b4 u still go ahead to marry him, now u re complaining, divorce him and marry another one, one man one woman is d way......
Re: Desire Of A Muslimah And Self-service by Nobody: 8:44am On Apr 16, 2015
Cutehector:
lol dis is getn hilarious...

IsLam The Religion 0f Peace Sircheesy
Re: Desire Of A Muslimah And Self-service by Cutehector(m): 8:47am On Apr 16, 2015
Jezyfreezman:
IsLam The Religion 0f Peace Sircheesy
pls dnt start.
Re: Desire Of A Muslimah And Self-service by Nobody: 8:49am On Apr 16, 2015
Cutehector:
pls dnt start.
PEace tO YOU SIRcheesy
Re: Desire Of A Muslimah And Self-service by Nellizzy(m): 9:59am On Apr 16, 2015
incase
Re: Desire Of A Muslimah And Self-service by Macintosh101(m): 10:39am On Apr 16, 2015
.
Re: Desire Of A Muslimah And Self-service by kaz4luv247: 11:28am On Apr 16, 2015
Salam. Am Quzeem by name, I need a serious muslim lady for serious relationship that will lead to marry. You can mail me kaz4luv247@gmail.com or call +2347039479644 am here in lagos. Waiting for your reply. Maa salam........
Re: Desire Of A Muslimah And Self-service by babs01(m): 3:05pm On Apr 16, 2015
I think this question has been answered on the source web site u just bring it here to cause religion fight because i see some non muslims here making trouble.
Re: Desire Of A Muslimah And Self-service by bdauran: 3:36pm On Apr 16, 2015
It is good for you to look for Islamic forum and foward ur complaint/question coz i don't think u'll exactly get the right responses hear.
Re: Desire Of A Muslimah And Self-service by Strongfaze(m): 4:22pm On Apr 16, 2015
This is a forum and anything can be discussed here. All I can see here is the disadvantages of Polygamy. Worst of all is the lies prior to the wedding. Muslimah, next time if he wants to travel, go with him. Afterall, the two wives are not quarreling.
Re: Desire Of A Muslimah And Self-service by jimmynauty: 11:17am On Apr 17, 2015
babs01:
I think this question has been answered on the source web site u just bring it here to cause religion fight because i see some non muslims here making trouble.
no mister, read the topic again. its to show that all irrespective of religious belief we have desires that must be met...
Re: Desire Of A Muslimah And Self-service by jimmynauty: 11:23am On Apr 17, 2015
Strongfaze:
This is a forum and anything can be discussed here. All I can see here is the disadvantages of Polygamy. Worst of all is the lies prior to the wedding. Muslimah, next time if he wants to travel, go with him. Afterall, the two wives are not quarreling.

let all see that desires are felt by muslimahs as well

1 Like

Re: Desire Of A Muslimah And Self-service by Missmossy(f): 11:27am On Apr 17, 2015
Hmmm why go into the marriage in the first place? Polygamous life style doesn't suit the kind of life you want. But seriously marriage goes beyond sex though, Whatever rocks your boat. lipsrsealed

2 Likes

Re: Desire Of A Muslimah And Self-service by jimmynauty: 3:16am On Apr 18, 2015
some wonder if the muslimah are super women who under polygamy are women without need for sexual satisfaction but to satisfy the man's whims and caprices. But the above quote shows that behind that hijab or burqa, there is a very deep yearning for sexual gratification which needs to be satisfied. And secondly, does polygamy really meet the needs of the woman or just to satisfy the man?

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