Young lady, I don't understand u oo, how can u date for 4 years nd it's at the last minute of marriage u don't feel anything nd thinking of cheating after marriage, it aint fair,how old are u by the way, I feel sorry for the guy, please pray carefully regarding ur life, cos karma is always ready to meet whoever sows evil seed.I don't want to say meet a pastor, cos I don't believe any pastor #team pray for yourself alone# wish u peace ....

iPrevail:
Nonsense talk!. Your problem is obvious.. You're a frigging gold-digger.. It's been the money keeping you all along.

You dated someone for four good years, you felt no connection.. You didn't breakup. He then engaged you... You still didn't breakup. Now he's about to get married to you but you still wouldn't let go..

Are you related to Lucifer?

Have some good in you... Save that poor guy's soul.. Tell him you feel no connection whatsoever.. It best you do so before the marriage.. Tell him he's free to divorce you after the marriage..

This is one very horrible story

And I can bet you that the guy she's actually having connection with (maybe na Bluetooth or internet ) might be a low lifer somewhere. Leave this one and let's read super story in years to come. Gold digger buruku. I'll report you to Buhari I swear.

If you cant appreciate a man inspite of d good qualities he has, then u must be a lucifer or devil incanate for u to be saying all this trash. No wonder God will always make bad guys available for ladies like u. May be by the time u get to 40 yrs as single, u will appreciate life better. Dont u have a marriage counsellor or a respected somebody u can confide in?

@le hubby 2be... Dats what u get when u r being too 9ce to some ladies...u end up being treated lyk sh.it

Jst imagine after gettin wat she wanted 4rm him, she wants to throw him away & move 2 de next maga...ur type ends up with a wicked man. Just wait & c.

sprinkles14:

As I write you this letter, I'm not happy and not fulfilled. I'm getting married in less than one month to my boyfriend of 4years, but I must confess that nothing and I mean absolutely nothing interest and excites me about this guy. I don't feel complete with this guy at all..
I've been turning deaf ears to this inner voice but I kept pretending and forcing it on myself hoping I will get along sooner or later.
I must confess, this guy is a complete gentle man with a good paying job, full of ideas, loving and caring and everything about me is his priority. He's loved by all my family members and everybody around me. Calling of the wedding ceremony will be an outrageous thing to do because of the embarrassment to our families, friends and the guy in particular.
Have made a conclusion within me...after getting married, I will convince my the guy to allow me travel out of the country, maybe if I'm away, I can start a new life out of Nigeria chore and if this doesn't work, I will either file for a divorce after one year or cheat on my husband to make me happy.
Please a very constructive critics and advice will be highly appreciated.
Thank you.

unfulfilled bride to be.

na thunder go fire you for this rubbish! so u dnt love him and u don't want to tell him rather you want to waste his hard earned money and go out to start cheating right? don't worry, hell is waiting for you with her mouth wide open for you! bastard.

Generally you don't have to be married to be happy.Just have your kids & raise them.And if you decide to go ahead to get married & you are still not happy please leave the marriage.Forget what people would say.Mtcheww marriage is nothing.I know some people would want to quote me.

If there's no mutual love shared, there's no marriage!........Marriage starts from within u. And if u don't feel something for him, then don't ever bother making a move to the alter. Take that bold move now that you still have all the time. Talk things over with him and move on.

sprinkles14:

As I write you this letter, I'm not happy and not fulfilled. I'm getting married in less than one month to my boyfriend of 4years, but I must confess that nothing and I mean absolutely nothing interest and excites me about this guy. I don't feel complete with this guy at all..
I've been turning deaf ears to this inner voice but I kept pretending and forcing it on myself hoping I will get along sooner or later.
I must confess, this guy is a complete gentle man with a good paying job, full of ideas, loving and caring and everything about me is his priority. He's loved by all my family members and everybody around me. Calling of the wedding ceremony will be an outrageous thing to do because of the embarrassment to our families, friends and the guy in particular.
Have made a conclusion within me...after getting married, I will convince my the guy to allow me travel out of the country, maybe if I'm away, I can start a new life out of Nigeria chore and if this doesn't work, I will either file for a divorce after one year or cheat on my husband to make me happy.
Please a very constructive critics and advice will be highly appreciated.
Thank you.

unfulfilled bride to be.

I don't really want to comment in dis thread cos I don't believe anybody can be dis stupid and dumb.
U shud just walk away right now cos it is better u cause dat uproar now than for u to do it after marriage. Marriage is sacred in African culture and u don't just do what u wish after marriage just because u see pple doing it in Hollywood movies.
U must be a very vain and fake person if Ur mind runs this way. Nothing interesting abt him eh? Probably because he is not brad Pitt, denzel Washington, Desmond Elliot and kanye west all rolled into one person abi? U are pure mad.

If I were d guy in question, if u treat me d way u propose to treat him after marriage, u won't be happy; rather u will be dead and Ur body will never be found.

Practically what am seeing is is that u are in that relationship for money and no love but i bet u, u wil not find peace in there, to save that, u are to call it off as soon as posible, how can u marry u who u dont love, pls follow ur heart, but dont forget happiness and peace of mind is the ultimate in a relationship

To marry done dey fear me small small

I can't believe you've already thought of cheating when your not yet married...poor guy.

My problem is why did u not let him know since, it happen to me. i had love this girl for 10years but when it was time to start marriage preparation after alowing me to start spending, one day she ended the relationship and i was in pains, so remember the emotional trauma u are going to put that guy, and dont also forget WHAT U DO ONTO OTHERS, THAT IS WHAT THE WILL DO UNTO U a word is enough for the wise

Go and discuss the issue with the guy. His opinion really matters at this stage

Vivly:
Hmmm. Truly, Marriage is the main cause of divorce.

Brb to comment

I have really took my time to read and digest all comments one after another.
A big thanks to the mod for bringing this to the front page and thanks to my nlanders, some have really done the big critics, some are indifferent while some have really took their time to walk in my shoes and given me reasons to look at the two sides of the coin
I must say I'm really grateful as I'm still open to more critics and advices.
In case there's any marriage counsellor out there..Please I'm available.
Thank you

HHmmmmmmm! I was there sweetie. I was in your shoes..I have known my ex since 2006, were to marry last year 19th April 2014, but I had same feelings as you. On the 10th of January 2014 I called of the wedding and walked out..Guess what, I tot people wud crucify me but to my surprise they didn't care much. To honest, it wasn't easy starting all over again but I didnt break cos I knew it was the right to do and God saw us through( ..my ex inclusive). And today, my ex is exchanging vows with someone rightnow - 4/4/2015 ..And am getting married in August as well to someone ..Please if call it off, cheating isnt and option so is divorce..you both wud be better off with someone..Love sometimes means letting go ..The choice is yours, i have made mine and it was the best thing i have done in my entire life..goodluck!

sprinkles14:

I'm 28 years old,
No, he's not my first
Yes, have had guys but haven't given anyone chance to get close to me
I'm not sexual active with..I tend to turn him down most time and when I'm in a fix..I just do it with satisfaction which he often complains about that I'm too rigid
Presently I'm not working..
I don't know your definition for being attractive, but I can say I'm petite and good, presentable and attractive
Yes I would love to..and besides marriage isn't just on my list for now
No serious relationships in the past.
Thank you

I think you should reflect on your dream =>


https://www.nairaland.com/1863925/dreams-interpretation-dreams-interpretation-dreams/140#30607648


again.

I suspect that you feel that you want to experience the world and be free to do instead of being committed to a marriage and its accompanying responsibilities and accountabilities. That is very natural given your quoted post above.
However as per your dream, reflect again! In yoruba we will say gbogbo eso lo nse kami kami kami - all the fruits are enticing me to pluck & enjoy each & everyone of them.
I hope you find the self-discipline needed to take the right decision and stay with it going forward. Ase, Amin, Amen!!!

sprinkles14:

As I write you this letter, I'm not happy and not fulfilled. I'm getting married in less than one month to my boyfriend of 4years, but I must confess that nothing and I mean absolutely nothing interest and excites me about this guy. I don't feel complete with this guy at all..
I've been turning deaf ears to this inner voice but I kept pretending and forcing it on myself hoping I will get along sooner or later.
I must confess, this guy is a complete gentle man with a good paying job, full of ideas, loving and caring and everything about me is his priority. He's loved by all my family members and everybody around me. Calling of the wedding ceremony will be an outrageous thing to do because of the embarrassment to our families, friends and the guy in particular.
Have made a conclusion within me...after getting married, I will convince my the guy to allow me travel out of the country, maybe if I'm away, I can start a new life out of Nigeria chore and if this doesn't work, I will either file for a divorce after one year or cheat on my husband to make me happy.
Please a very constructive critics and advice will be highly appreciated.
Thank you.

unfulfilled bride to be.

yea, this is interesting... Call it off and watch another girl take your seat. Just be sure you won't hate on her when she replaces you.

Ilekeh:

So I should just assume I am drinking gatorade?

Sagamite:


So I should just assume I am drinking gatorade?

Innitialy I was about to insult the the Op and call her names but after going through all the replies i found out that there is no need for that. It won't help but add more salt to injury. Op u said u'r 28yrs of age and u have such mindset/intention?

I case my rest.

....and the moment of truth surfaced yesterday during the marriage counselling, when I was asked why do I want to get married and if I'd other choice would I have gone for it rather than my hubby to be? ..and my response was tears...God your direction is all I ask for...I'm scared.

uzoexcel:
babes i really fear una

wetin dey mk u fear

[quote author=GodMode post=32312136]
What happens when u meet the man you love

sometimes you have to lose what's dear to you to get what's best.

temifisayo:

sometimes you have to lose what's dear to you
to get what's best.

I did that to a lady who couldn't staring at me.. I stopped attending events for months and she left and anytime I attend she mysteriously attends and still staring at me...

Until she got married to someone else... Even after some years of been married... She saw me again and still stared at me..

I stopped attending so that she could move on and since most Nigerian ladies don't make the first move... I knew that was the only way she could get someone else...

GodMode:


I did that to a lady who couldn't staring at me.. I stopped attending events for months and she left and anytime I attend she mysteriously attends and still staring at me...

Until she got married to someone else... Even after some years of been married... She saw me again and still stared at me..

I stopped attending so that she could move on and since most Nigerian ladies don't make the first move... I knew that was the only way she could get someone else...

Nigerian ladies are trying to avoid being treated as cheap girls.

temifisayo:




Nigerian ladies are trying to avoid being treated as cheap girls.

No one is cheap... people that try to "avoid being treated as cheap girls" are actually cheap

Hilarious when ppl take these fake posts seriously. Some actually had their whole day ruined hating on the OP. Lolz

GodMode:


No one is cheap... people that try to "avoid being treated as cheap girls" are actually cheap

are you trying to say majority of Nigerian ladies are cheap? you are right, no one is cheap, but not all guys around think the way you do.