₦airaland Forum

OK

jumich1:
...

dot dot dot?

[quote author=billynoni post =34474717].[/quote]fullstop?

No offence, but the OP needs to work on his attention to detail. Then there is a question of realism.... Nice for a start, but the OP has a lot to work on

www.aretewrites..com

Sorry 2 derail oo. Pls can sm1 enlighten me on how 2 post stuff here on nairaland

Your beginning made sense. But the end no make any sense,abi you dey sleep write the end?

Can't even remember the last time I said my prayers, nice piece though.

Dumb story... you didn't pay attention to details, no plot, u didn't make any research...
Eg! What type of fish...
Is it tilapia...
He jumped then realised he couldn't swim, then he saw a fish..
A man that couldn't swim won't be able to see jack...
Very amateurish story....

Wow dis is d best story I av ever red on dis site

Lesson. ....learn to control ya temper

Coldplay007:
Dumb story... you didn't pay attention to details, no plot, u didn't make any research...
Eg! What type of fish...
Is it tilapia...
He jumped then realised he couldn't swim, then he saw a fish..
A man that couldn't swim won't be able to see jack...
Very amateurish story....

Will be more careful next time. Thank you for the correction.

favronke:
Wow dis is d best story I av ever red on dis site

thanks. And you post is the best ever

waxyung:
Wow.. So magnificent nd interesting. I luv dis

Thanks bro that was encouraging

Rumpelstiltskin:
OP.......I love your story.......laced with enough humour and finally the message it passes across.

I must endeavour to pray first thing every morning and last thing every evening......Thanks again OP.

I love your comment too; so encouraging.

eesy:
Will be more careful next time. Thank you for the correction.

I feel guilty for being that harsh... I understand what you tried to do.. It just needs a little more work...

eesy:
Just felt like sharing this short fiction with you all. All rights reserved. Enjoy!


He bent swiftly to avoid being hit on the head by the angry student but unluckily the stick still found its way to his skull. He let out a loud cry and ran to the side of the road. He picked up a bottle and returned to the student for revenge. The student on sensing danger ran for his life. But angry Obot didn’t give up as he ran after him and hit the bottle on his head. The student fell down as his head started bleeding almost immediately. This drew the attention of the people around who ran to the scene and separated the fight.

***
He woke up to a bright morning in its splendor. His stomach rumbled in hunger. He went into the bathroom and brushed his teeth. While in the bathroom he thought on how he would finally defend his project in school. It had been three months since he had been working on his project; it was so stressful three months that some nights he had to sleep in the studio. But thank God it was going to be over in a few hours.


He went to his fridge brought out his pot of vegetable soup he cooked. The soup still looked fresh thanks to PHCN. For the past 48 hours there was light in his area, something that happens once in a blue moon. In 45 minutes he was ready to go and defend his project. He dressed in a blue suit with a blue tie and a white shirt. He checked himself in the mirror and wowed at himself. He was looking really good.


He walked down his street to where he could board a bus. On getting there he, was surprise at the crowd. He stood there for about thirty minutes before a rickety bus emerged. The crowd did not allow the bus to park before they started jumping into it. The struggle was so intense that people were flung to the ground. It became a stamped. Obot who had his project to defend that morning had to struggle for himself. He ran to the bus, pushed some people away and tried to enter the bus by force. He almost entered the bus when he got a massive punch on his jaw.
“You dey mad”? The angry boy queried and gave him another jaw re-structuring blow. Obot couldn’t control himself as he retaliated.
By now the bus had been filled up and had left. Leaving unfortunate Obot and the school boy behind. The young handsome looking men became beasts. They punched and roared at each other. Obot got his head popped open by the barbaric young student making him go kolo-mental. He roared like a wounded lion. At that state even though his mother held him from fighting he will kick her out of his way and fight. He scanned his environment and found a bottle lying freely on the side of the road. He picked up the bottle and went for his opponent.
P e w! Pieces of broken bottles and blood went flying in the air. The school boy fell on the ground unconscious. That was when he came to his senses. He turned around gathered his entire document into his fill bag in a bid to flee the scene.
“Hold am dia”! Came a voice from the crowd that had gathered to watch the fight. Instinct told him run and he did not hesitate as he ran with all the amount of energy he had.


The excited crowd that were watching the fight turned into a mob. They chased him. Obot knew if the mob catches up with him they won’t want to listen to any stories he had to tell them rather they would descend on him. So he kept running to God knows where. He came to a junction, he turned left and kept running. He turned back to see the mob chasing him with big sticks and cutlasses and they seemed to have increased in number. And some of them looked like beasts with horns and tail. So he kept running. Until he arrived at a big river his instinct told him jump and he did. He landed deep in the river. That was when he realized he couldn’t swim. He opened his eyes to see a fish coming for him. He knew he couldn’t swim, the mobs were at the bank of the river, and the fish will swallow him. So he shot his eyes and said his last prayers. He expected the fish to swallow him like Jonah but the fish rather kissed him on his fore head. You know why the fish kissed him? Because he did the right thing at the right time. He prayed. Did you pray before going out this morning


cc lalasticlala

dont get it.