Re: My Affair With A Generous Aristo by uboma(m): 2:00pm On Jun 08, 2015 |
Cutehector: I just duno d correct word to use to describe this piece of crap And neither can i describe your inability to appreciate humour. By the way, no one said you must read and comment on this thread..... 4 Likes |
Re: My Affair With A Generous Aristo by CountDracula(m): 3:58pm On Jun 08, 2015 |
uboma:
Why drink panadol for another man's headache? Everyone has the right to read whatever he/she wishes to.
Personally i find the op's write-up very hilarous. So stop hating and appreciate humour when you see one. I was talkin abt the length |
Re: My Affair With A Generous Aristo by mysticgal(f): 4:57pm On Jun 08, 2015 |
I have had similar encounter but mine was with a banker and he was married. when I saw his wedding band,I asked if the band was a purity ring or candy holder.The guy's face expressed bad market sign and wtf. Me no dey hide my mouth and I ain't ashamed of it 2 Likes |
Re: My Affair With A Generous Aristo by topicalmaster: 5:49pm On Jun 08, 2015 |
WHEN WILL YOU PUBLISH YOUR SHORT STORY |
Re: My Affair With A Generous Aristo by ebamma(m): 5:51pm On Jun 08, 2015 |
Aunty even if you sucked his dick you are not going to tell us sef All your story u dey always shun men or tell them that you are not interested You never tell us the one were dem don knack you oh 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Affair With A Generous Aristo by elohorayodele: 5:54pm On Jun 08, 2015 |
Naijasinglegirl: NCC had issued a deadline to all Nigerians to register their SIM cards before a certain date or risk being disconnected from their various service providers.
I happened to be one of those found wanting a day to the stated deadline. That Thursday, I abandoned everything on my schedule with the aim of registering my MTN sim card before the end of the day. When I got to their office, I was the 370th person to join the longest queue of my life. From my calculations, it was going to take nothing less than three hours before they got to my turn.
Just when I was beginning to lose hope, the security personnel assigned to maintain order on the queue took me to the front where I was attended to promptly.
I thought it was sheer luck only for me to receive a phone call from one of their senior staff that night. Apparently, he had been my knight during the day and I didn't need to interrogate him on how he got my contact details.
He said the only way I could thank him for his help was to pay him a visit.
I was a bit sceptical to meet up a total stranger so I lied I was travelling out of town the next day and I'd return in five months time.
In the weeks that followed by, he kept tormenting me with his incessant phone calls with a promise to stop only if I come to town to see him.
Tired of playing mice&cat games, I told him I was going to come the following weekend.
He suggested a Sunday at his office since he worked 7 days a week and the time was fixed.
When I got there, the strange man sneaked up behind me, grabbed me by my waist and placed me beside one of those mainframe computers MTN uses in typing their annoying spam sms.
He stood at an intimidating height of 6'6.
Initially, I was nervous and scared at the same time.
I told him I won't be spending more than two hours with him as I had to travel back to my base in the afternoon. He didn't object to that.
When he caught me staring at the MR biggs across his office, he offered to buy me 'food'.
Well, I'm not the type that says no to free food from Mr Biggs.
I was expecting him to return with their signature yellow/red polythene only for him to shatter my heart by sending this very sad text message.
'Shaki or Pomo?'
I panicked when I read it. When did Mr Biggs introduce shaki and pomo to their menu? I wondered.
I was still trying to make sense of his question when he returned to the office with one covered 555 stainless plate and glass bottled fanta.
''*Naijasinglegirl* you didn't reply my message in time so I got you one shaki and two boiled eggs to go with your rice&stew." he said.
Look at this stingy man oh. Supposing I had truly come in from another town, it means I came all the way to eat dirty mamaput from God knows where.
I didn't say a word but deep down, I knew there was no way I was going to touch that 555 plate with the star&moon spoon he was holding.
As if that was not enough insult, he took one of my eggs (the larger one) and ate it in my presence! Such disrespect! Then he opened my fanta and drank directly from it. When he placed half of the fanta on the table, bits of eggs yolk were swimming in my drink.
I was so disgusted. At that point I regretted not using etisalat network. LoL.
Then he came over to where I sat and attempted to give me a peck with his smelly egg mouth.
That was when I saw his wedding band...
"Your ring is fine." I said.
"Thanks." He replied in a slimy nonchalant way.
There was a deafening silence for some minutes. Then he got talking again.
"You see...I am very attracted to you and it would be nice if we get to know ourselves intimately...you never can tell where it might lead us to."
Being the outspoken girl that I am, I had nothing to lose so I said, "Lead me to some place as your second wife? So you want me to be your extramarital affair partner? So that I will be having sexual intercourse with you? How long have you been committing adultery sef?"
Surprisingly, he burst into laughter.
When the laughter had subsided, he went on to tell me how he was disappointed I couldn't appreciate his honesty.
In his words, the fact that he revealed his marital status showed he cared and he is serious about me. *sigh*
It was no use arguing with him. Maybe I would considered his aristo offer if we couldn't afford shaki in my house or if I had not eaten pomo before.
One hour had passed and I was more than anxious to leave.
When I made my announcement. He handed me one N500 note and one packet MTN tshirt from his office cabinet as if I am one of those MTN marketers that use to dance shoki in front of computer village.
Just imagine the insult.
He got my message clearly when I turned down his MTN shirt, his N500, his fanta, his mamaput rice, his egg, his shaki, his peck, his aristo offer and his peepee.
The generous aristo never bothered me again.
http://www.naijasinglegirl.com what if he offered you 500k, would this story be here? |
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Re: My Affair With A Generous Aristo by Nobody: 5:58pm On Jun 08, 2015 |
elohorayodele:
what if he offered you 500k, would this story be here?
Must you quote the full post? Hey, are you sure you are alright? 5 Likes |
Re: My Affair With A Generous Aristo by Maryclaire1(f): 6:01pm On Jun 08, 2015 |
some bit of yolk in d fanta now datz so very disgusting............ |
Re: My Affair With A Generous Aristo by DrGroove(f): 6:05pm On Jun 08, 2015 |
Chronicles of a greedy wayward girl
you left your house to visit a strange man for what reason?
You got pissed cos he bought you Mama put and Fanta and gave you N500 instead of Mr Biggs and Juice with thousands of naira
You are so far away from decent.
Not judging! just the plain truth |
Re: My Affair With A Generous Aristo by Abyzan(m): 6:06pm On Jun 08, 2015 |
babs01: "1. Lead me to some place as your second wife? 2. So you want me to be your extramarital affair partner?
Had it been he pampered u with gifts and huge amount of cash u would have become one of the two. You de follow Nigerian girls Naso them ddy |
Re: My Affair With A Generous Aristo by Rimimafia: 6:06pm On Jun 08, 2015 |
Are you sure this is from Naijasinglegirl It doesn't appear like her write up at all. I no even see who go borrow me laugh sef. You used to be very funny when GEJ was President!!! As Sai Baba enter you come dey dry. |
Re: My Affair With A Generous Aristo by ibrokola(m): 6:07pm On Jun 08, 2015 |
CountDracula: If u read dis u need God in ur life If NaijaSingleGirl wrote it, then it's worth reading! You should visit her blog. 3 Likes |
Re: My Affair With A Generous Aristo by OkikiOluwa1(m): 6:09pm On Jun 08, 2015 |
Beezally: So how is this an affair the story never happened. it was a fabricated one. Nairalanders, never believe true life stories from Naijasinglegirl. 2 Likes |
Re: My Affair With A Generous Aristo by daben1(m): 6:16pm On Jun 08, 2015 |
Fairgodwin: My dear, you're not nice or kind at all. In fact, you're mean. Oya, now go back and collect everything from him and make him 'happy.' Can't you see he's a very 'rich' and 'generous' man? Oya go sharp sharp, and thank me later. rich? That only gave her #500 as transport fair? That's the amount i give 'her' for recharge card! 1 Like |
Re: My Affair With A Generous Aristo by dupsai(f): 6:22pm On Jun 08, 2015 |
Naijasinglegirl why u dey vex now, no be u dey carry roasted corn go cinema? You for bone shop d saki n rice now.............. Always on point to make me laugh..... thanks dearie. |
Re: My Affair With A Generous Aristo by ALISMILE(m): 6:26pm On Jun 08, 2015 |
Am sowi, no insult meant! But ur post jus shows u er a hungry girl! |
Re: My Affair With A Generous Aristo by asumo12: 6:27pm On Jun 08, 2015 |
dharay99:
I'm cumin baq to read ds u hear. Oga hafa nah? |
Re: My Affair With A Generous Aristo by boma95(f): 6:30pm On Jun 08, 2015 |
Naijasinglegirl: NCC had issued a deadline to all Nigerians to register their SIM cards before a certain date or risk being disconnected from their various service providers.
I happened to be one of those found wanting a day to the stated deadline. That Thursday, I abandoned everything on my schedule with the aim of registering my MTN sim card before the end of the day. When I got to their office, I was the 370th person to join the longest queue of my life. From my calculations, it was going to take nothing less than three hours before they got to my turn.
Just when I was beginning to lose hope, the security personnel assigned to maintain order on the queue took me to the front where I was attended to promptly.
I thought it was sheer luck only for me to receive a phone call from one of their senior staff that night. Apparently, he had been my knight during the day and I didn't need to interrogate him on how he got my contact details.
He said the only way I could thank him for his help was to pay him a visit.
I was a bit sceptical to meet up a total stranger so I lied I was travelling out of town the next day and I'd return in five months time.
In the weeks that followed by, he kept tormenting me with his incessant phone calls with a promise to stop only if I come to town to see him.
Tired of playing mice&cat games, I told him I was going to come the following weekend.
He suggested a Sunday at his office since he worked 7 days a week and the time was fixed.
When I got there, the strange man sneaked up behind me, grabbed me by my waist and placed me beside one of those mainframe computers MTN uses in typing their annoying spam sms.
He stood at an intimidating height of 6'6.
Initially, I was nervous and scared at the same time.
I told him I won't be spending more than two hours with him as I had to travel back to my base in the afternoon. He didn't object to that.
When he caught me staring at the MR biggs across his office, he offered to buy me 'food'.
Well, I'm not the type that says no to free food from Mr Biggs.
I was expecting him to return with their signature yellow/red polythene only for him to shatter my heart by sending this very sad text message.
'Shaki or Pomo?'
I panicked when I read it. When did Mr Biggs introduce shaki and pomo to their menu? I wondered.
I was still trying to make sense of his question when he returned to the office with one covered 555 stainless plate and glass bottled fanta.
''*Naijasinglegirl* you didn't reply my message in time so I got you one shaki and two boiled eggs to go with your rice&stew." he said.
Look at this stingy man oh. Supposing I had truly come in from another town, it means I came all the way to eat dirty mamaput from God knows where.
I didn't say a word but deep down, I knew there was no way I was going to touch that 555 plate with the star&moon spoon he was holding.
As if that was not enough insult, he took one of my eggs (the larger one) and ate it in my presence! Such disrespect! Then he opened my fanta and drank directly from it. When he placed half of the fanta on the table, bits of eggs yolk were swimming in my drink.
I was so disgusted. At that point I regretted not using etisalat network. LoL.
Then he came over to where I sat and attempted to give me a peck with his smelly egg mouth.
That was when I saw his wedding band...
"Your ring is fine." I said.
"Thanks." He replied in a slimy nonchalant way.
There was a deafening silence for some minutes. Then he got talking again.
"You see...I am very attracted to you and it would be nice if we get to know ourselves intimately...you never can tell where it might lead us to."
Being the outspoken girl that I am, I had nothing to lose so I said, "Lead me to some place as your second wife? So you want me to be your extramarital affair partner? So that I will be having sexual intercourse with you? How long have you been committing adultery sef?"
Surprisingly, he burst into laughter.
When the laughter had subsided, he went on to tell me how he was disappointed I couldn't appreciate his honesty.
In his words, the fact that he revealed his marital status showed he cared and he is serious about me. *sigh*
It was no use arguing with him. Maybe I would considered his aristo offer if we couldn't afford shaki in my house or if I had not eaten pomo before.
One hour had passed and I was more than anxious to leave.
When I made my announcement. He handed me one N500 note and one packet MTN tshirt from his office cabinet as if I am one of those MTN marketers that use to dance shoki in front of computer village.
Just imagine the insult.
He got my message clearly when I turned down his MTN shirt, his N500, his fanta, his mamaput rice, his egg, his shaki, his peck, his aristo offer and his peepee.
The generous aristo never bothered me again.
http://www.naijasinglegirl.com Hahaha I love u girl No homo |
Re: My Affair With A Generous Aristo by Nobody: 6:33pm On Jun 08, 2015 |
Na story sha.. you never enter one chance before... by the time you have swallowed the shaki and pomo.. a sharp guy would have done a ream-job on ya... the guy na otu for football joor |
Re: My Affair With A Generous Aristo by gbengus17: 6:36pm On Jun 08, 2015 |
PLS YOU BETTER DONT REVEAL HIS INDENTITY COS MTN PRO MAY LOBBY YOU, AND AM SURE HE WILL BE SACKED INSTANTLY. |
Re: My Affair With A Generous Aristo by Nelgenius4me(m): 6:48pm On Jun 08, 2015 |
keep it up sis ..am proud of your type |
Re: My Affair With A Generous Aristo by Nobody: 6:58pm On Jun 08, 2015 |
Wen i started reading this i tot it was a story,bt i guess na story anyway......abeg cum visit me i will b mre generous,nd am nt married |
Re: My Affair With A Generous Aristo by Nobody: 6:59pm On Jun 08, 2015 |
DrGroove: Chronicles of a greedy wayward girl
you left your house to visit a strange man for what reason?
You got pissed cos he bought you Mama put and Fanta and gave you N500 instead of Mr Biggs and Juice with thousands of naira
You are so far away from decent.
Not judging! just the plain truth If I were you I won't get all crabby over a mere fiction 4 Likes |
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Re: My Affair With A Generous Aristo by funlord(m): 7:08pm On Jun 08, 2015 |
E be like say the chairman look your character like hungry girl ? Try and seriously improve her swag because based on this your epistle na "Mgbeke treatment" she go everly dey collect from ogas! 1 Like |
Re: My Affair With A Generous Aristo by Fairgodwin(m): 7:14pm On Jun 08, 2015 |
daben1: rich? That only gave her #500 as transport fair? That's the amount i give 'her' for recharge card! You, sir, don't know the meaning of sarcasm! 2 Likes |
Re: My Affair With A Generous Aristo by Jason21(m): 7:27pm On Jun 08, 2015 |
unfaithful beetches.. |
Re: My Affair With A Generous Aristo by Nobody: 7:30pm On Jun 08, 2015 |
babs01: "1. Lead me to some place as your second wife? 2. So you want me to be your extramarital affair partner?
Had it been he pampered u with gifts and huge amount of cash u would have become one of the two. GBAM!!! All these naija hoes forming good gurls! |
Re: My Affair With A Generous Aristo by Nobody: 7:33pm On Jun 08, 2015 |
This is a bunch of crap! |
Re: My Affair With A Generous Aristo by Nobody: 7:38pm On Jun 08, 2015 |
Loooooool |
Re: My Affair With A Generous Aristo by dharay99: 7:40pm On Jun 08, 2015 |
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