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When Is It Actually Okay To Leave A Philandering/cheating Husband? - Family (2) - Nairaland

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Re: When Is It Actually Okay To Leave A Philandering/cheating Husband? by Nobody: 8:33am On Jun 15, 2015
Whenever you feel you've had enough, this could be the first, third or tenth time you've caught him to be honest
Re: When Is It Actually Okay To Leave A Philandering/cheating Husband? by funlord(m): 8:41am On Jun 15, 2015
Joy1706:
The man runs after everything in skirts, the woman is told to turn a blind eye. He impregnates one of his side chics, the woman is told not to leave her home for any woman and is even told to bring the baby into her home to raise. He infects her with STDS, she is told to use condoms and to do periodic tests. They also never fail to emphasise that she must never deny him sex. He goes as far as bringing his mistresses into their matrimonial home to sleep with and she is still told to turn a blind eye and pray till she can't move her jaw again. We hear all these advice from men and sadly, women too.
Where is one supposed to draw the line? When is it okay to leave a cheating husband? Why do we advise women to swallow all these bullshit? Abi, is it just me that finds a philandering man intolerable?
grin
Joy1706:
The man runs after everything in skirts, the woman is told to turn a blind eye. He impregnates one of his side chics, the woman is told not to leave her home for any woman and is even told to bring the baby into her home to raise. He infects her with STDS, she is told to use condoms and to do periodic tests. They also never fail to emphasise that she must never deny him sex. He goes as far as bringing his mistresses into their matrimonial home to sleep with and she is still told to turn a blind eye and pray till she can't move her jaw again. We hear all these advice from men and sadly, women too.
Where is one supposed to draw the line? When is it okay to leave a cheating husband? Why do we advise women to swallow all these bullshit? Abi, is it just me that finds a philandering man intolerable?

O.P! It is okay 2 leave this kind of husband you have described as "soon as yesterday"!
Re: When Is It Actually Okay To Leave A Philandering/cheating Husband? by Nobody: 8:48am On Jun 15, 2015
FrancisTony:

Nigerians can be hypocritical, eh.
If the gender is reversed, advice won't be like that - you go dey hear na their way.

If i'm related to her, i'll advice her to leave that marriage let the so-called Anita take over.
Shebi she has kids? They can be her companion.
Most widows still move on without re-marrying and yet they are pretty okay. Why endure trash?


Boy, you don't know shiit. The advise wouldn't be like that because bothe genders are held to different standards and different responsibilities, different roles, different expectations. You have a lot of growing up to do. Seriously.

You would advise Toke to move on! Buhahaha. You would advise a relationship 'expert' who has advised women to leave their cheating partners to move on to move on? Boy, watch and learn. Not everything you read or are told is true and real.

7 Likes

Re: When Is It Actually Okay To Leave A Philandering/cheating Husband? by lilmax(m): 10:07am On Jun 15, 2015
Shollypopzz:


Only married people are happy?? Jeez, what a miserable childhood and young adult life you must have had. undecided
who come be this one now

3 Likes

Re: When Is It Actually Okay To Leave A Philandering/cheating Husband? by Joy1706(f): 10:10am On Jun 15, 2015
coogar:


so what do you advise?
toke should leave her marriage? is there any guarantee she would find happiness in her next relationship? grin
Do you think she would ever be happy in this relationship? I would rather be single and happy. Besides, there is every possibility that she could get it right next tme
Re: When Is It Actually Okay To Leave A Philandering/cheating Husband? by Joy1706(f): 10:12am On Jun 15, 2015
iykedare:
Op,why don't you answer the question first.
It's so easy to advice other people to do what you can't do.
What would you do if you find out that your hubby cheated on you?

Most people will advice other people to leave the marriage that very minute but these same people would stay pray and fast .

I've heard that very toke makinwa tell people to leave their cheat boyfriends. why is she not doing the same now?

Always give the kind of advice you sef can follow.
A perpetually philandering man is a NO NO. I ain't up for any baby mama drama.
Re: When Is It Actually Okay To Leave A Philandering/cheating Husband? by Joy1706(f): 10:15am On Jun 15, 2015
Timbuktou:



Boy, you don't know shiit. The advise wouldn't be like that because bothe genders are held to different standards and different responsibilities, different roles, different expectations. You have a lot of growing up to do. Seriously.

You would advise Toke to move on! Buhahaha. You would advise a relationship 'expert' who has advised women to leave their cheating partners to move on to move on? Boy, watch and learn. Not everything you read or are told is true and real.
So what would you advice her to do?

4 Likes

Re: When Is It Actually Okay To Leave A Philandering/cheating Husband? by Nobody: 10:45am On Jun 15, 2015
Joy1706:

So what would you advice her to do?

Any advice I might 'give' her is irrelevant. She's grown enough to know what to do. And from what I hear, she's a relationship expert. No need to be redundant.

1 Like

Re: When Is It Actually Okay To Leave A Philandering/cheating Husband? by queensmith: 10:57am On Jun 15, 2015
Joy1706:
The man runs after everything in skirts, the woman is told to turn a blind eye. He impregnates one of his side chics, the woman is told not to leave her home for any woman and is even told to bring the baby into her home to raise. He infects her with STDS, she is told to use condoms and to do periodic tests. They also never fail to emphasise that she must never deny him sex. He goes as far as bringing his mistresses into their matrimonial home to sleep with and she is still told to turn a blind eye and pray till she can't move her jaw again. We hear all these advice from men and sadly, women too.
Where is one supposed to draw the line? When is it okay to leave a cheating husband? Why do we advise women to swallow all these bullshit? Abi, is it just me that finds a philandering man intolerable?

the very first time, ESPECIALLY if the man shows no remorse or no evidence that hes willing to change.

The man clearly has no regards for their marriage no respect for her and clearly not an iota of empathy for what hes putting her through. She's meant to be his wife!!

I don't entertain women staying with such men at all!

2 Likes

Re: When Is It Actually Okay To Leave A Philandering/cheating Husband? by 5minsmadness: 11:29am On Jun 15, 2015
EfemenaXY:


Nobody dishes out such daft advice in this day and age. Not even an im.be.cil.e.

And if any parent does advocate such for their daughter, such parent(s) deserve to be strung, drawn, and quartered. Slowly and excruciatingly.

@bolded,pls what does this really mean?

Also

Who is toke?
Re: When Is It Actually Okay To Leave A Philandering/cheating Husband? by Nobody: 11:51am On Jun 15, 2015
Moana:
After you have decided if you deserve better or you can manage settling for less.

msteeew tongue
Re: When Is It Actually Okay To Leave A Philandering/cheating Husband? by Nobody: 12:03pm On Jun 15, 2015
5minsmadness:




Who is toke?

One ugly dullard like that. She chased me from Rhythm FM with her brainlessness. Whoever paired her with Nanya should be shot.

1 Like

Re: When Is It Actually Okay To Leave A Philandering/cheating Husband? by Moana(f): 12:17pm On Jun 15, 2015
lagunna1:


msteeew tongue
thunder fire
Re: When Is It Actually Okay To Leave A Philandering/cheating Husband? by thetruthnl: 2:48pm On Jun 15, 2015
All these kids commenting through their noses,do you think Toke wasn't aware of the other lady? undecidedin 10 years of dating a man even a blind person will know,feel when their partner is cheating,and to say he had the side chic for 8 years then y'all must be dumb to even think of advising her. grin
That's what happen to women who think they know too much or know what's up?she is the relationship expert grin and I am sure she used to talk like many ladies we have here,I am independent I don't need a man grin yet she was sharing a dick for 8 good years grin grin.

1 Like

Re: When Is It Actually Okay To Leave A Philandering/cheating Husband? by coogar: 2:58pm On Jun 15, 2015
Joy1706:

Do you think she would ever be happy in this relationship? I would rather be single and happy. Besides, there is every possibility that she could get it right next tme

she would never be happy too if she leaves the relationship. leaving a relationship doesn't heal a broken heart, in most cases - it actually leads to depression.

between the devil & the deep blue sea....there's no lesser evil.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: When Is It Actually Okay To Leave A Philandering/cheating Husband? by SAMBARRY: 12:26am On Jun 16, 2015
coogar:


she would never be happy too if she leaves the relationship. leaving a relationship doesn't heal a broken heart, in most cases - it actually leads to depression.

between the devil & the deep blue sea....there's no lesser evil.
but catching hiv and exposing herself to filthy diseases a wakawaka man is susceptible to catch will make her happy undecided?





Smh you are unbelievable undecided

2 Likes

Re: When Is It Actually Okay To Leave A Philandering/cheating Husband? by ladygogo: 12:36am On Jun 16, 2015
coogar:


so what do you advise?
toke should leave her marriage? is there any guarantee she would find happiness in her next relationship? grin

Hello Coogar,

There is nothing like happiness when it comes to these two. If it was about happiness she wont have gone ahead to marry him after what his family members did to her.

Did people actually take that marriage seriously? I mean their sham of a marriage. grin

The Maje guy actually stood her up at the Ikoyi Registry, hit her and she still went on to plan a surprise a wedding. Only a thirsty and low self-esteemed girl will do that.

As far as I'm concerned, they deserve each other. Who marries a runs girl like toke and a Lagos Ikoyi Fugk boy like Maje Ayida and expect it to last?

2 Likes

Re: When Is It Actually Okay To Leave A Philandering/cheating Husband? by Nobody: 8:18am On Jun 16, 2015
ladygogo:


Hello Coogar,

There is nothing like happiness when it comes to these two. If it was about happiness she wont have gone ahead to marry him after what his family members did to her.

Did people actually take that marriage seriously? I mean their sham of a marriage. grin

The Maje guy actually stood her up at the Ikoyi Registry, hit her and she still went on to plan a surprise a wedding. Only a thirsty and low self-esteemed girl will do that.

As far as I'm concerned, they deserve each other. Who marries a runs girl like toke and a Lagos Ikoyi Fugk boy like Maje Ayida and expect it to last?

Whaaaaat! But he was at his wedding if he stood her up at the registry why show up for the surprise wedding? Too thirsty.
Re: When Is It Actually Okay To Leave A Philandering/cheating Husband? by ladygogo: 1:14pm On Jun 16, 2015
andromida:


Whaaaaat! But he was at his wedding if he stood her up at the registry why show up for the surprise wedding? Too thirsty.

That was the first time. Prior to toke becoming a 'celeb'.

What makes you think they are even married sef? Just because she wore a wedding dress? lol.
Re: When Is It Actually Okay To Leave A Philandering/cheating Husband? by coogar: 1:36pm On Jun 16, 2015
ladygogo:

Hello Coogar,

There is nothing like happiness when it comes to these two. If it was about happiness she wont have gone ahead to marry him after what his family members did to her.

i was told they seemed happy but then it could be fake. i was told she always flaunted him on her IG/twitter page. grin


Did people actually take that marriage seriously? I mean their sham of a marriage. grin The Maje guy actually stood her up at the Ikoyi Registry, hit her and she still went on to plan a surprise a wedding. Only a thirsty and low self-esteemed girl will do that.

i think the guy never wanted to marry her. she used the social media to her advantage. her fans nearly killed the dude when he hesitated just before the court wedding......he quickly changed his mind & they did the wedding out of the blue...


As far as I'm concerned, they deserve each other. Who marries a runs girl like toke and a Lagos Ikoyi Fugk boy like Maje Ayida and expect it to last?

MBA!
the guy deserves better - toke is a twät! with her manicured nails & that shyte face she always carries around.

2 Likes

Re: When Is It Actually Okay To Leave A Philandering/cheating Husband? by Nobody: 2:25pm On Jun 16, 2015
ladygogo:


That was the first time. Prior to toke becoming a 'celeb'.

What makes you think they are even married sef? Just because she wore a wedding dress? lol.

Whoa! shocked i just can't get why a woman will want to marry a reluctant man.

Is it possible they are not married? Those pictures, the party moving in together. Person will just wear wedding dress and be forming married? Choi!

So a woman can commandeer a man into marrying her. Maje sef.
Re: When Is It Actually Okay To Leave A Philandering/cheating Husband? by damiso(f): 2:28pm On Jun 16, 2015
ladygogo:

Hello Coogar,
There is nothing like happiness when it comes to these two. If it was about happiness she wont have gone ahead to marry him after what his family members did to her.
Did people actually take that marriage seriously? I mean their sham of a marriage. grin
The Maje guy actually stood her up at the Ikoyi Registry, hit her and she still went on to plan a surprise a wedding. Only a thirsty and low self-esteemed girl will do that.
As far as I'm concerned, they deserve each other. Who marries a runs girl like toke and a Lagos Ikoyi Fugk boy like Maje Ayida and expect it to last?

shocked shocked shocked toke was a runs girl. With all the independent woman ish on her Vlogs and instagram?
Re: When Is It Actually Okay To Leave A Philandering/cheating Husband? by Stillfire: 3:35pm On Jun 16, 2015
We need to stop blaming other people or society for the decisions these women make, for real.
The average Nigerian woman chooses to stay in a bad marriage. She would do anything to be a Mrs.
That is the average Nigerian woman's life goal cheesy. To be Mrs Somebody. Don't you see how they pray in churches?cheesy I must marry by force o. cheesy
Why won't you people's marriages turn out to be a disaster? If I were a guy I would run away from Nigerian women. You find out the societal pressure they talk about, it's Nigerian women that mostly put it on top themselves. undecided
She made the choice to stay. A gun was not held to her head. Enough of these pathetic stories. Stop playing victim.
In this day and age, I will not pity any woman that stays in a bad marriage. I can help you look for the necessary authorities to report the husband to because I'm practical. That's all. You know what to do either you divorce or you die there.

7 Likes 3 Shares

Re: When Is It Actually Okay To Leave A Philandering/cheating Husband? by coogar: 3:36pm On Jun 16, 2015
damiso:

shocked shocked shocked toke was a runs girl. With all the independent woman ish on her Vlogs and instagram?


damiso, what's the meaning of a runs girl? a sprinter or a marathoner? grin

Stillfire:
We need to stop blaming other people or society for the decisions these women make, for real.
The average Nigerian woman chooses to stay in a bad marriage. She would do anything to be a Mrs.


That is the average Nigerian woman's life goal cheesy. To be Mrs Somebody. Don't you see how they pray in churches?cheesy I must marry by force o. cheesy


Why won't you people's marriages turn out to be a disaster? If I were a guy I would run away from Nigerian women. You find out the societal pressure they talk about, it's Nigerian women that mostly put it on top themselves. undecided


She made the choice to stay. A gun was not held to her head. Enough of these pathetic stories. Stop playing victim.
In this day and age, I will not pity any woman that stays in a bad marriage. I can help you look for the necessary authorities to report the husband to because I'm practical. That's all. You know what to do either you divorce or you die there.

the truth is coming out. cheesy grin

1 Like

Re: When Is It Actually Okay To Leave A Philandering/cheating Husband? by Stillfire: 4:01pm On Jun 16, 2015
coogar:


damiso, what's the meaning of a runs girl? a sprinter or a marathoner? grin



the truth is coming out. cheesy grin

You are laughing, hehehe, this is what a Nigerian woman wrote on the Toke issue here on NL... grin cheesy grin
You think if I were a gentleman I will not pick race? They will do everything and anything to be Mrs...
Do you know that Nigerian women marry the first person to give them a ring dating or not? shocked cheesy
I have heard them say the bible did not say they needed to love the man, that love is the forte of the husband alone. grin
Why do you think there is an epidemic of horror stories? I would never ever pity any of them.


Very okay with it as long as I have my own children and a good job that keeps me busy and provides enough money for me and my kids...That's what is important, not how many women husband is impregnating.Its insignificantl.Men are used to having children outside marriage with girlfriends.Why should I bother

What's with all these hype about a married man impregnating his girlfriend?
Toke dis,Maje dat!
I really wonder what's the big deal is
So if Toke is a relationship expert,does it suddenly make her husband less of a man?
Una just dey hia dey give una sef headache.i won't be surprised the victim Toke won't be bothered.abi una think say she no know say her husband get another babe for that long?
Toke may have just wanted a ring on her finger and a Mrs title to fit into her society(thats is the only reason a woman needs to marry in dis generation,esp when she is successful n doesn't depend on a man for survival)
to the ladies bashing the man,hold ya self dere
No man,i repeat,no man ever gets satisfied screwing one woman.Hang urself if e dey pain u
Maje may have another babe(s) aside his baby mama to be,i won't be surprised
sex is food n experiment to men
Every man wants to bed as many women as possible,get that into ur skulls!
I really commend Maje for choosing his long time Gf to have his baby.Most men would hv gone for the maid,wife's sister,friend,recharge card seller,pure water hawker,dustbin packer,etc
If u want to marry,go ahead n marry.stop looking for faithful man,e no dey o.
in olden days when women were decent,sex was sacred,men cheated steady,some married more wives and the women understood.Marriage worked.nowadays wives be fighting hubby for sleeping wt another woman,why??
If u are expecting ur husband not to cheat When he is now forced to grudgingly unhappily marry only one wife,when everything in this world now suggests of sex,even the air we breathe and d food we eat is all about sex!,abeg wake up before u bedwet!
I am a lady and I tell u
A married man has 1 wife+10 girlfriends+100 flings
Drink otapiapia and die!
That's easier than quoting me to argue!!
Re: When Is It Actually Okay To Leave A Philandering/cheating Husband? by limamintruth: 4:05pm On Jun 16, 2015
Simple! The moment you realise he is an unrepentant one cool
Re: When Is It Actually Okay To Leave A Philandering/cheating Husband? by cococandy(f): 4:07pm On Jun 16, 2015
coogar:


i was told they seemed happy but then it could be fake. i was told she always flaunted him on her IG/twitter page. grin



i think the guy never wanted to marry her. she used the social media to her advantage. her fans nearly killed the dude when he hesitated just before the court wedding......he quickly changed his mind & they did the wedding out of the blue...



MBA!
the guy deserves better - toke is a twät! with her manicured nails & that shyte face she always carries around.

shocked
Coogar do you have proof?
Anyway that's what some women get for being desperate about marriage.
When you say a woman's life should not revolve around marriage, some want to bite your head off.

Why won't they be treated like trash when all it takes to make one a person deserving of respect is marital status.
Re: When Is It Actually Okay To Leave A Philandering/cheating Husband? by damiso(f): 5:29pm On Jun 16, 2015
coogar:


damiso, what's the meaning of a runs girl? a sprinter or a marathoner? grin



the truth is coming out. cheesy grin

Ask google tongue
Re: When Is It Actually Okay To Leave A Philandering/cheating Husband? by EfemenaXY: 6:10pm On Jun 16, 2015
5minsmadness:


@bolded,pls what does this really mean?


Look up "Medevial Capital Punishments". That should give you a fair idea of what I mean.
Re: When Is It Actually Okay To Leave A Philandering/cheating Husband? by bukatyne(f): 8:07pm On Jun 16, 2015
iykedare:


I really feel sorry for her.
Sometimes I wonder how my sisters will feel if their husbañds cheat on them. It shatters me.

It's been on my mind for some hours today . Infact, I had to ask a man I met in the gym what would make him cheat on his wife?
His reply? ........men are adventurous.

Foolish man undecided

1 Like

Re: When Is It Actually Okay To Leave A Philandering/cheating Husband? by innervoice(m): 8:11pm On Jun 16, 2015
Stillfire:
We need to stop blaming other people or society for the decisions these women make, for real.
The average Nigerian woman chooses to stay in a bad marriage. She would do anything to be a Mrs.
That is the average Nigerian woman's life goal cheesy. To be Mrs Somebody. Don't you see how they pray in churches?cheesy I must marry by force o. cheesy
Why won't you people's marriages turn out to be a disaster? If I were a guy I would run away from Nigerian women. You find out the societal pressure they talk about, it's Nigerian women that mostly put it on top themselves. undecided
She made the choice to stay. A gun was not held to her head. Enough of these pathetic stories. Stop playing victim.
In this day and age, I will not pity any woman that stays in a bad marriage. I can help you look for the necessary authorities to report the husband to because I'm practical. That's all. You know what to do either you divorce or you die there.

Preach!
Re: When Is It Actually Okay To Leave A Philandering/cheating Husband? by bukatyne(f): 8:20pm On Jun 16, 2015
Joy1706:

Really? Taking toke's predicament for instance, most of those commenting were advising her to forgive and make sure she doesn't give room for Anita to come in and take over her man.

@Toke:

The issue is multifaceted.

She was 19 dating a man of 30 lipsrsealed

The side chick was there for 8yrs. Can Toke really deny Anita's existence? Or was she satisfied as long as she was Mrs. Maje?

Is Anita really a side chic?

Heard the guy used to beat and cheat on her steady before marriage. They were even not on talking terms when he sent people to bring her to the court for their marriage.

Remember the husband is also old money.

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