histemple:
Absolutely on point. One of the major causes of our problems is the misplaced aggression to emulate the western culture. The nascent gender equality drive has subjected us to unfounded mendacious sentiments and has virtually made almost all our women to become feminists. And most of us are trying so hard to live an European life in Africa.
Every society operate based on their value system and cultural inclination. For instance, western countries encourage single mothers and so they are indirectly increasing the number of bastards and marriage breakups. In Africa, a woman is more dignified and respected by the society based on her ability to build an enviable home. In Africa, a respectful woman has more power and influence over a man and can get anything she wants.
To justify my point, a true african woman will appreciate this advice from a mother but it's a complete trash to a Western lady.
My fellow women, we must be truly African to live peacefully and happily in Africa as trying to be Western in Africa will result to increased frustration.
Woman submit and respect your husband and the Man should love his Wife.

CHM11:
WORDS FROM A MOTHER TO HER DAUGHTER ABOUT MARRIAGE

1. The wife that wins all arguments with her husband is not wise. The home is not a law
court.

2. The wife that uses sex as a weapon in the home - placing embargo, going to bed in jeans shorts and
trousers -lacks wisdom.

3. The wife that uses the modern trends and laws of "women's rights" to insult or ridicule her husband simply makes a fool of herself.

4. A woman that makes her home devoid of peace
through bickering, nagging and quarrels needs help.
A man should be eager to run away from office to be at home, for that should be the safest and closest place on earth for him.

5. Modern-day equality in marriage does not mean competition, It simply means partnership. Taking advantage of such equality to turn around and become the defacto head of the home and oppress the man is tantamount to playing with fire. If you destroy your home, soon you will be the boss of an empty home.

6. A wise wife makes the man feel so good that he
assumes that he is the head. Once he gets that
feeling, the woman gently wields her power and the head actually turns to wherever the neck wants without a protest.

7. A wife that does not pull herself away from
friends' influence and advice or even from the
control of her mother and father will have herself to blame.

8. When a man is looking for a wife, he bypasses
women of different shapes and sizes to choose a wife But soon after childbirth, many women hide under the excuse of childbirth to let go of themselves. Many stop bothering about their looks,shape, dressing, etc.
Within 5 years of marriage, people start wondering if the wife is the man's aunt, even though she is 7 years younger. Her defence is that if he truly loves her, he should love her the way she is but when looking for a wife, he saw people like the present YOU and ignored them and settled for the former YOU. Today, you go to bed smelling of onions.... You go to bed wearing grandmothers' clothes. Why are you playing with your marriage? Love is not about looks - we know But looks enhances love and marriage There is a difference between someone disfiguring herself and the person being disfigured by an accident. Please don't be complacent. As hard as it may be, work on looking like you were when he first saw you and began the chase.

9. If every night you are tired, sleepy, sore, down
with headache or fever, "not in the mood," you are a joker, a serious comedian!

10. If your children suddenly become more
important to you than your husband, you need
prayers.

11. If you assume that as the woman, only you need to be pampered and fussed over while the man is a stone that has no emotions, you need to be pitied.

12. A woman that has the mind of a wife does not
excite her husband. Wives are usually complacent
and presumptuous. A wife must strive to have the mind of a girlfriend, A girlfriend is always nicer, sweeter, more loving and always thinking of ways to wow her sweetheart; a girlfriend does not try to win all arguments, does not call the man a "useless man", is not careless about her looks or dressing, always smiles and laughs with the man, sends the man sweet
messages and calls, etc. Are you your husband's
girlfriend in word and in deed?

LASTLY, DO NOT INFORM ME OF YOUR QUARRELS, I DIDN’T JOIN YOU TOGETHER, GOD DID, GO AND
INFORM HIM AND HE WILL SORT
YOU OUT.
#RELATIONSHIP/MARRIAGE BUILDER

sweatlana:


Good advise but this was written by a man demanding perfection which does not exist...

neocortex:


There is no need denigrating others just to shore up your self image.
Whether a woman decide to take to all , some or none of the advice above
is their private business and that of the husband.
Enough of women shaming other women because they don't conform to a "standard"
as set by some control freaks.
If you want to be a good servant wife please do.
Live and let live.

sweatlana:
Can we please have some advise for the men, the ones who do things that make women nagg

cos women nag for a reason.

imbless:
is this sarcasm or are u for real?.
Although I don't endorse that her bastards comment she made, she was way too far from the topic there.

buygala:
[b][/b]Word of advice from a Father to his son about marriage[b]


Never beat your wife.... If you feel aggressive, go register at the nearest boxing institute
.... A man's muscle should be employed in providing for his family, not assaulting it

Draw a limit to in-law burdens..... Don't take on a burden that isn't originally yours... When your father-in-law has grown up sons, why should you be the one to shoulder his burial expenses?
.... Be a good in-law and help out where it is ABSOLUTELY CONVENIENT for you... You haven't committed a crime by marrying their daughter

Do a DNA on all the kids she bears for you even before you take the step of naming them..... She could have 'accidentally' gotten pregnant for someone else.....There isn't a life more wasted than one spent unknowingly raising someone else's kids.... and no, this doesn't mean you dont trust her.... it's just that you don't like paying in money into the wrong bank account

Help out in domestic chores.... She is your wife, not your maid or slave.... Your peniss won't become smaller if you do the dishes or prepare Junior for school...After all, the home and kids belong to both of you, not only her


NEVER operate a joint account or buy landed property jointly with your wife..... The shy, sweet harmless cutie you married may in future turn out to be a ruthless scheming gold-digger who may even take steps to bankrupt you or appropriate your property to herself. ... Fall in love all you want, but don't give her the rope with which she can hang you



Written by buygala

buygala:
Word of advice from a Father to his son about marriage


Never beat your wife.... If you feel aggressive, go register at the nearest boxing institute
.... A man's muscle should be employed in providing for his family, not assaulting it

Draw a limit to in-law burdens..... Don't take on a burden that isn't originally yours... When your father-in-law has grown up sons, why should you be the one to shoulder his burial expenses?
.... Be a good in-law and help out where it is ABSOLUTELY CONVENIENT for you... You haven't committed a crime by marrying their daughter

Do a DNA on all the kids she bears for you even before you take the step of naming them..... She could have 'accidentally' gotten pregnant for someone else.....There isn't a life more wasted than one spent unknowingly raising someone else's kids.... and no, this doesn't mean you dont trust her.... it's just that you don't like paying in money into the wrong bank account

Help out in domestic chores.... She is your wife, not your maid or slave.... Your peniss won't become smaller if you do the dishes or prepare Junior for school...After all, the home and kids belong to both of you, not only her


NEVER operate a joint account or buy landed property jointly with your wife..... The shy, sweet harmless cutie you married may in future turn out to be a ruthless scheming gold-digger who may even take steps to bankrupt you or appropriate your property to herself. ... Fall in love all you want, but don't give her the rope with which she can hang you



Written by buygala

neocortex:


There is no need denigrating others just to shore up your self image.
Whether a woman decide to take to all , some or none of the advice above
is their private business and that of the husband.
Enough of women shaming other women because they don't conform to a "standard"
as set by some control freaks.
If you want to be a good servant wife please do.
Live and let live.

OnyeEgo1:


Pls tell the west to stop trying to manipulate us or blackmailing us to accept some of their shifty way of life, for d record AFRICA is not a country, so u don't sum all of dem up n put in one basket of obsoleting criticism, cos africa is bcomin more wiser by d day... Sir/ma, d work is ongoing... We ArE AFRICA

ozzugworlee:
Op. U be thief. U stole my post come make fp

Dotwillis1:
My daughter don't play hard to get, be hard to get!

histemple:
Absolutely on point. One of the major causes of our problems is the misplaced aggression to emulate the western culture. The nascent gender equality drive has subjected us to unfounded mendacious sentiments and has virtually made almost all our women to become feminists. And most of us are trying so hard to live an European life in Africa.
Every society operate based on their value system and cultural inclination. For instance, western countries encourage single mothers and so they are indirectly increasing the number of bastards and marriage breakups. In Africa, a woman is more dignified and respected by the society based on her ability to build an enviable home. In Africa, a respectful woman has more power and influence over a man and can get anything she wants.
To justify my point, a true african woman will appreciate this advice from a mother but it's a complete trash to a Western lady.
My fellow women, we must be truly African to live peacefully and happily in Africa as trying to be Western in Africa will result to increased frustration.
Woman submit and respect your husband and the Man should love his Wife.

histemple:
Absolutely on point. One of the major causes of our problems is the misplaced aggression to emulate the western culture. The nascent gender equality drive has subjected us to unfounded mendacious sentiments and has virtually made almost all our women to become feminists. And most of us are trying so hard to live an European life in Africa.
Every society operate based on their value system and cultural inclination. For instance, western countries encourage single mothers and so they are indirectly increasing the number of bastards and marriage breakups. In Africa, a woman is more dignified and respected by the society based on her ability to build an enviable home. In Africa, a respectful woman has more power and influence over a man and can get anything she wants.
To justify my point, a true african woman will appreciate this advice from a mother but it's a complete trash to a Western lady.
My fellow women, we must be truly African to live peacefully and happily in Africa as trying to be Western in Africa will result to increased frustration.
Woman submit and respect your husband and the Man should love his Wife.

neocortex:


There is no need denigrating others just to shore up your self image.
Whether a woman decide to take to all , some or none of the advice above
is their private business and that of the husband.
Enough of women shaming other women because they don't conform to a "standard"
as set by some control freaks.
If you want to be a good servant wife please do.
Live and let live.

iRepNaija1:


Do you even live in the West? You don't even know what you're talking about. First, children who are born out of wedlock are not bastards, they're children. Stop using such a degrading and archaic term. It's embarrassing. Second, I'm tired of people taking every opportunity to bash the west, a place some of them have never even stepped foot in, to hype up Nigeria and make themselves feel better about their standing in the world. Here's the truth about us: no one in the west cares about our "African values" (or if we're trying to live the European lifestyle) when our government can't even provide basic electricity, clean water, smooth roads, healthcare/medicine to its people. They don't care about our "values" when our politicians openly steal while we punish the average Nigerian with jungle justice for stealing an apple. They don't care if a wife can make an enviable home when those same women are suffering from rape, domestic violence, and misogyny/sexism. They don't care if a man is the head of the household when a considerable number of them can't read, can't find employment, can't feed themselves or their families. They don't care that our GDP is the highest in Africa when more than half of our people live below the poverty line. They laugh at us. They think we're backwards and all they see is poor black people living in a poor country who are very eager to come to the west. Enough of this high horse b.s. talk because if we had such "superior values," we should have fixed our country by now.

iRepNaija1:


Do you even live in the West? You don't even know what you're talking about. First, children who are born out of wedlock are not bastards, they're children. Stop using such a degrading and archaic term. It's embarrassing. Second, I'm tired of people taking every opportunity to bash the west, a place some of them have never even stepped foot in, to hype up Nigeria and make themselves feel better about their standing in the world. Here's the truth about us: no one in the west cares about our "African values" (or if we're trying to live the European lifestyle) when our government can't even provide basic electricity, clean water, smooth roads, healthcare/medicine to its people.

They don't care about our "values" when our politicians openly steal while we punish the average Nigerian with jungle justice for stealing an apple. They don't care if a wife can make an enviable home when those same women are suffering from rape, domestic violence, and misogyny/sexism. They don't care if a man is the head of the household when a considerable number of them can't read, can't find employment, can't feed themselves or their families. They don't care that our GDP is the highest in Africa when more than half of our people live below the poverty line. They laugh at us. They think we're backwards and all they see is poor black people living in a poor country who are very eager to come to the west. Enough of this high horse b.s. talk because if we had such "superior values," we should have fixed our country by now.

abbey621:


I think you got it all wrong. The point deduced from her post is that we should value our African heritage. This is not about how the West feels about us but how we value ourselves. My parents have been in the U.S.A. for over 20 years and I've been living here for over 5 years, trust me when it comes to morals this country sucks! The women have no value because marriage is no longer valued. We all know Nigeria is screwed up but part of fixing it starts with ensuring we don't lose the little pride we have left. We must ensure that our heritage survives this age of sin. Also, children born out of wedlock and not claimed by a male are bastards, that's the term the English use for children without a father. It is not a nice word but it is a valid word. Be careful when criticizing someone for speaking their mind, we all have the right to express the way we feel.

histemple:


You raised very salient points here but in very harsh and insulting way. However, let me respond to your points and not your person. As a woman, I understand perfectly what your frustrations are and genuinely so. Majority of your disappointment has to do with the quality of governance and that is a digression from the discuss here. But even in governance, we have women in good numbers that are part of all the arms of government. What are they doing to help? The only point you raised that is related to this topic is the fact that the west don't care about Africa and I think you may be partially right. But why should we care about the west to the point of emulating everything they do? I am vastly travelled and I can confidently tell you that it is better to build my country than being a slave to immoral cultures. I am even shocked to hear you say children born out of wedlock are not bastards. So what then is your definition of a bastard or the word doesn't exist? That is part of the damage the western culture has done to some of us. Obviously, if you delete that word from the dictionary, then the whole essence of marriage is gone as prevalent in the west and the same mentality is fast destroying our once enviable marriage institution. Hitherto we listened to their music but we have decided to build our music industry and Nigerians are listening more to naija music and enjoying it than their crap. Who said Tiwa savage, yemi Alade, Sheyi Shey, are not better than Beyonce, Jennifer Lopez etc? We should understand that no culture is superior to the other. It is heartbreaking that we are trying so hard to destroy our values through westernization of our beautiful continent. Why are we not selling our valuable culture to the west instead of emulating their immoral lifestyles such as gay practices. Why can't they learn how to build a happy home from us instead of us learning how to break up and file for divorce from them? Our ladies move unclad because they watched some devilish musicians with the outfit. Even our men now move about advertising their buttocks for potential gay practitioners in the disgusting style called "Sagging". Other vices such as rape, male chauvinism, domestic violence etc are not peculiar to Africa or Nigeria. Do your research. Just my candid opinion, no offence intended.

histemple:
Absolutely on point. One of the major causes of our problems is the misplaced aggression to emulate the western culture. The nascent gender equality drive has subjected us to unfounded mendacious sentiments and has virtually made almost all our women to become feminists. And most of us are trying so hard to live an European life in Africa.
Every society operate based on their value system and cultural inclination. For instance, western countries encourage single mothers and so they are indirectly increasing the number of bastards and marriage breakups. In Africa, a woman is more dignified and respected by the society based on her ability to build an enviable home. In Africa, a respectful woman has more power and influence over a man and can get anything she wants.
To justify my point, a true african woman will appreciate this advice from a mother but it's a complete trash to a Western lady.
My fellow women, we must be truly African to live peacefully and happily in Africa as trying to be Western in Africa will result to increased frustration.
Woman submit and respect your husband and the Man should love his Wife.

iRepNaija1:


We can value our Nigerian heritage without a) comparing ourselves to another country/region and b) without putting another country/region down. I understood the point of her post just fine but I didn't agree with her means of proving her point so I let her know.

The term 'bastard' is derogatory and misogynistic. So a child who isn't claimed by a father means he or she is something different (and subpar)? But if the child is claimed by the father, then everything is all good? I know that Nigeria is a patriarchal society but how does that even make sense? It took two people to create the child, a child who did not ask to be brought into this world and did not ask to be called such a terrible name. If anything, the parent, mother or father, who decides not to acknowledge his or her child should be called a bastard. And you say that bastard is a word used by the English. Last time I checked, the English and Nigerians were not the same. We don't have to use that word just because the English do. We don't have to validate a word just because someone else decides to use it.

I've lived in both Nigeria and the United States and trust me, the things some Nigerians bemoan about America are the same things that happen in Nigeria: the cheating, the children born outside of marriage, the murders, stealing, corruption, lying, sex, the drugs. How are the morals of Nigeria any better than any other country's?

Marriage is no longer valued because women don't have value? This statement doesn't make sense to me and it's misogynistic.

Fixing Nigeria, for me, is going to come from getting rid of all those old, corrupt politicians who just want to steal. That's the first priority. Preserving our culture can come later. But we can agree to disagree on that.

histemple:
Absolutely on point. One of the major causes of our problems is the misplaced aggression to emulate the western culture. The nascent gender equality drive has subjected us to unfounded mendacious sentiments and has virtually made almost all our women to become feminists. And most of us are trying so hard to live an European life in Africa.
Every society operate based on their value system and cultural inclination. For instance, western countries encourage single mothers and so they are indirectly increasing the number of bastards and marriage breakups. In Africa, a woman is more dignified and respected by the society based on her ability to build an enviable home. In Africa, a respectful woman has more power and influence over a man and can get anything she wants.
To justify my point, a true african woman will appreciate this advice from a mother but it's a complete trash to a Western lady.
My fellow women, we must be truly African to live peacefully and happily in Africa as trying to be Western in Africa will result to increased frustration.
Woman submit and respect your husband and the Man should love his Wife.