₦airaland Forum

In this part of the world, we are mostly used to women being the financial opportunists and always looking to be with men who can upgrade their financial status, but a lot of the times, men can be guilty of this too.

We can blame the situation in the evolving way of life where women are now making giant strides in their academics and also in their careers so you would be unsurprised to find that quite a lot of women are financially independent in their own right. This, in turn, would lead them to becoming victims of opportunistic men. I mean, let’s face it, who does not want to be with someone who is willing to elevate their social status (either male or female.)
Aishat, from Osun State says;

” My boyfriend is University is always fond of asking me for money at every opportunity. I have bought him countless recharge cards, paid for his internet subscriptions and even helped paid his school fees. Sometimes I am worried this is the only reason he wants to be with me but I find it difficult to say no to him.”
A 24-year-old lady from Lagos also shares her story;

” I met Daniel a year ago, earlier this year, I took him home to meet my family (my father is quite wealthy and our home makes that very obvious) and since then, he has been asking me for money constantly. I find this uncomfortable and I tried to tell him about it but he flared up and told me that I am being selfish. He insisted that he is sure my father can give me whatever I want and I should not have a problem sharing with him. He even threatened to leave me for his ex girlfriend if I continued being difficult. The relationship did not last long after this altercation.”

What happens when it is a married woman facing this struggle. Bola, talks about her experience with her husband of two years;

“I knew he was struggling financially before we got married but I loved him and that did not matter. We got married last year and things took a turn for the worst. I have a good career going and I was able to afford being the breadwinner but recently, he has completely refused to work to bring in money. Now, I do everything. I cook, clean, take care of the home, take care of our child while also working and still paying all the bills. He seems content to just sit at home playing video games and drinking with friends at nights. I tried explaining that the stress is too much, and that I would need help financially sometimes too. He promised to try harder but nothing has changed. These days, I feel used and very unsure if I want to stay in the marriage.”
From the stories above, we can gather that things get very rocky when it seems all the financial burden are on the woman. Our men still want a woman to retain their traditional roles, regardless of whether or not she shares or bears the financial responsibility. She becomes depressed and stressed out, leading the relationship to suffer.

What do you do if you have an opportunist on your hands?

Well, sometimes, things might not be as they seem. Just because a man asks for your help does not necessarily mean he is trying to use you for financial gain. If you do start to feel this way, have a heart-to-heart with him and explain how you feel. Let him know that him expecting you to solve all his financial problems makes you respect him even less. If it is decided that you should be the breadwinner because you earn more, come up with ways he can also help with taking some burden off you. If he supports and loves you, he should be willing to reach a compromise on the issue. If not, then you should know it is time to move on.

A man would feel used if a woman only wants him for what the money he can provide and the situation is even worse for women because one of the things that women respect in men is the ability to provide just like men expect their women to be able to nurture. No one partner can do both without there being serious unbalance in the relationship.

Source: http://www.naijaqueen.com

@oP,
You made a valid point. Love should be a little to the left and a little to the right. I think there is need to balance things if both are not financially comfortable. Thanks for this submission

money money money money

make your own

dont depend on someone else

you will have and demand respect

be it man or woman.

you all should listen to "she got her own" by neyo feat jamie foxx and fabulous.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=LKj5MWHTInY

ShutTheFhuckUp:

may d 4 of yhu reciv sense b⁴ 12noon....

Amennnnnnnn my brother

hmm good point

ShutTheFhuckUp:

may d 4 of yhu reciv sense b⁴ 12noon....

. are u sane?

ShutTheFhuckUp:

may d 4 of yhu reciv sense b⁴ 12noon....

mind ur biz man.

[sub][/sub]

wenger2:
. are u sane?

ask me again.

What a woman can do,a man can do better.

Lazy men

So true.
I know some guys who always look for rich girls to date and they will be bragging about it.

Na so oooo.

it can be tiring at times.

I once had a bf too who was always asking me for money but me sef no get go give him. i later discovered dat his salary is more than mine sef.

i even went ahead to help him secure a contract to do some supplies in my office but he still wasnt satisfied.

One day he told me that he he used to girls spending on him and i replied him that i am also used to guy paying my bills and if he know he isnt ready to pay my bills. he should waka.

That was the beginning of the end.

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