₦airaland Forum

pickabeau1:
I don't know
You tell me

You said a man's libido increases till mid 30s

What happens after mid 30s?

bellong:
Well, the issue of age should be individual's preference. I don't think there should be a rule of thumb to that part. Some prefer very young ladies, some age group while others prefer older ladies.

In my early twenties, I initially wanted to follow the footstep of father Abraham but lost the interest before I was ready for marriage. While marrying a younger person is good but I don't think it should be a guideline. Age should be sole discretion of individuals. The younger lady will also become old. The headmaster was once a school boy.

EOD

bukatyne:


You said a man's libido increases till mid 30s

What happens after mid 30s?

ok

pickabeau1:
Stop using smileys and bring posts supporting your assertions
cc Truckpusher

If you don't understand that there is a difference between libido and sexual prowess, then I'm afraid it would be a waste of time trying to engage you.
Of course we are aware that a lot of men talk about sexual prowess they don't have .
You can always ignore the smileys.

edwife:
Please go back to romance section,you called me a muslim first without even knowing me,then you called my view myopic after someone more mature and a WOMAN for that matter corrected me.

I ain't what you are looking for,go ask i don't do your type.Meaning i don't discuss with your type.I was even confused when you quoted me.

The floor is yours to drop more abuse.

Madam I peruse all sections @ will and I'm sure if you check up on all my debates you will realise that you are only being silly for telling me to go to the romance section after pointing out your flaws! You don't own NL and this is the internet so please have a seat on that tripe! I don't need to know you before telling you that Your views on religion were totally WRONG and you have even admitted to being corrected which justifies my original reason for quoting you! And please forgive me for being this blunt but you can't AFFORD to do my type! Learn to understand your message before you type it out for the world to see next time! Good day!

edwife:
Yes he is talking about a man 40+.

The man was 40+ years older than his wife - wife #4 - and almost 90? I don't see how that falls within the outline I suggested !

edwife:
Now my question to you: Who will a 27 years old marry then?a 19-20 years old girl?

It's hard for a 27 year old to be properly ready, but certainly possible. The half your age +7 rule would suggest about 21'ish. But the range you gave would be fine - IFF they were both ready. Likewise, if he went a bit older, no problem - but I wouldn't advise it ATBE

edwife:
if you are 40 and married a 30 years old woman-that same 30 years giving you pleasure in bed won't be able to give the same pleasure to a 35 years old?

Yes she will be able to - but men have to think strategically and not just in the moment. You marry her at 30 and she has 2 or 3 kids. That will change a lot about her physique and libido.

A 30 year old man marries a 30 year old woman and they have 2 kids in 5 years. She goes from babe to frump quick time, there will also be a lot of sexual downtime during and after the pregnancy. His sex life is at best patchy, her libido will likely be down. He is frustrated - just when he is hitting his stride and attaining higher status.

edwife:
So tv will your wife still look appealing to a 28 years old man?

As a 28 year old man I wouldn't marry my wife now, but yes I'd acknowledge she was sexy and beddable, and definitley more together than most twenty somethings, but not a long-term best choice.


TV

TV01:
Of course libido drops with age, but it does so at differing rates and from different starting points for the sexes. Plus, women have additional rigours and potentially more preoccupations that will dampen the emotional component of her libido.
I've noted that the men should stay fit, but if it's about potruding bellies, women are more likely to be unfit than men - another reason to go younger.

Which other preoccupations?child bearing?house-chores?is that anything to stress anyone?You are generalising.

Yes women are more likely to be unfit than men but not all women.Women didn't come up with the term "MILF".

And women are immune to stress or have less stressors? Abi a fat old wife wont add to the brodas stress I snubility is forever and absolute? Her sexual activity does not decrease?

In short, all things being equal, a man will have a better quality and longer lasting sex life with a younger woman. The fitter you are as a man, the more in-shape you'd want your wife to be.

Men are able to retain muscle mass and for longer and shed weight quicker, also having more of the hormones that engender this, which are the same ones that speak to libido
TV

They don't shed weight quicker unless they live in the gym.Keeping fit is subjective anyway,not everyone likes looking unhealthy and fat.
At least i know,my friends and I don't.

TV01,

If potential/current pocket size is important to women in general as you put it, what then is important to men in general? This is not a rhetoric, I am genuinely curious and wish to know.

funlord:
Madam I peruse all sections @ will and I'm sure if you check up on all my debates you will realise that you are only being silly for telling me to go to the romance section after pointing out your flaws! You don't own NL and this is the internet so please have a seat on that tripe! I don't need to know you before telling you that Your views on religion were totally WRONG and you have even admitted to being corrected which justifies my original reason for quoting you! And please forgive me for being this blunt but you can't AFFORD to do my type! Learn to understand your message before you type it out for the world to see next time! Good day!

Funlord the warlord is here - Edwife , leave him alone o that boy doesn't take prisoners.

[/quote]

Truckpusher:
Funlord the warlord is here - Edwife , leave him alone o that boy doesn't take prisoners.

Bros! Greetings! No beef with the young lady @ all! Just wanted her to learn that her approach 2 religious issues was quite pathetic! If you follow the conversation I'm sure you will agree! Anyway I'm off to my political home! Lolz!

[quote author=TV01 post=36392337]

It's hard for a 27 year old to be properly ready, but certainly possible. The half your age +7 rule would suggest about 21'ish. But the range you gave would be fine - IFF they were both ready. Likewise, if he went a bit older, no problem - but I wouldn't advise it ATBE

It is not hard,all my brothers married before 30.In French countries,that's is the normal age for marriage.
A 19-21 years old wife will be a nightmare.But at least you said ,he can go a little older.

Yes she will be able to - but men have to think strategically and not just in the moment. You marry her at 30 and she has 2 or 3 kids. That will change a lot about her physique and libido.
A 30 year old man marries a 30 year old woman and they have 2 kids in 5 years. She goes from babe to frump quick time, there will also be a lot of sexual downtime during and after the pregnancy. His sex life is at best patchy, her libido will likely be down. He is frustrated - just when he is hitting his stride and attaining higher status.

Now you make it seems that you are all about sex in marriage.Is sex the only factor that should keep a man married?Many women have come here on NL to complain about their husband lack of "pleasuring" them in bed,and we all read from men that she should be patient with him,or teach him what she wants.Can't the man do the same?

As a 28 year old man I wouldn't marry my wife now, but yes I'd acknowledge she was sexy and beddable, and definitley more together than most twenty somethings, but not a long-term best choice.
TV

As long as you acknowledge that she was sexy and definetely more together than most twenty somethings,she can be another man choice.

I have seen many twenty somethings looking older and fatter than most 30s'.

funlord:
;DFunlord the warlord is here - Edwife , leave him alone o that boy doesn't take prisoners.

Bros! Greetings! No beef with the young lady @ all! Just wanted her to learn that her approach 2 religious issues was quite pathetic! If you follow the conversation I'm sure you will agree! Anyway I'm off to my political home! Lolz!

Leave the lady joor! You too like wahala.

Truckpusher:
Edwife , leave him alone o that boy doesn't take prisoners.

Trucky you know me very well,i don't have time for that.

He will fight and retire when he is done.I get along with most of the very enlightened and sophisticated men on this forum,and none would have talk to me like that ,they would have rather inform me.

edwife:
Trucky you know me very well,i don't have time for that.

He will fight and retire when he is done.

Hehe , you sef like Wahala sha.

naijababe:
If potential/current pocket size is important to women in general as you put it, what then is important to men in general? This is not a rhetoric, I am genuinely curious and wish to know.

Where have you been? Working out, juicing and making money - young men take note !

A mans ability to provide, or future potential to do so, has to be paramount for a woman that wants a family - and doesn't come with huge independent wealth of her own. That would be most women no? And, she'd be silly to not check the economic viability and fitness - in many respects, why do women typically want tall? - of the man who would father her children.

Men have other criteria. Yes in a long list, some criteria will be the same/overlap, but the hierarchy is different. I've mentioned kids out of wedlock as one example. may be important to both, but generally it's more of a deal-breaker for men.

Men look for fertility - typically presented as youth or beauty. That would possibly rank first. Amply evidenced by the many men who marry a woman based solely on looks.

Further down, would come things like fidelity, respect, intelligence etc. Money was never really an issue - and yes we do have male diggas/social climbers - which is why when I was broke, I couldn't date, but women just need a clean dress .

I know times are a-changing and the financial climate make it hard for the average family to survive on one salary, and men to be in a position to marry as early as previously, but that's my basic take.


TV

pickabeau1:
ok

Pickabeau it was a question.I will like to know what happen after 30?

I can see so many old cargos(apologies) trying to justify and convince men to marry older women...men please don't fall for this..

The younger the better...

Offence intended

TV01:
Proudly Ijebu !

Interesting

TV01:
The "Regberegbe" are "age grade" associations and typically range from 3 to 5 years. They are constituted for social cohesion and activity - not because they serve as a reference for marriage or any other relationship.

Where did I say age grade associations served as a reference to marriage?

I only said 3 - 5 yr age difference is still in the same age group

TV01:
There are still associations of people born within a year of each other, and there is still the sense of age hierarchy. I call my brother egbon and he is barely 2 years older than me. Do I drag title or headship with him because we are in the sam regberegbe?


TV

Not applicable.

Kimoni:
i honestly didn't interprete it that way. If she did, would she bother telling him at all?

She expected him to accept it then and there, never mind she hadn't breached their confession agreement which could have been a deal breaker for many. And then she had the nerve to condemn him for responding in the exact way he should have; which was caused by her by the way. Would you trust such a woman if you were in that guy's shoes?

TV01:
About something totally different to what I posited


Again, about something totally different to what I posited.

Truckpusher descibes a man 40+ older than his wife who is actually number wife number 4 - and this is when the man is close to 90. How does that map to or rebut my position? A total strawman

Guys, if you fall for this MOMS - "marry our mature singles" - campaign, you are on your own. They are busy mapping scenarios that have no bearing or similarity to my advice in order to discredit it. Be wise. Think strategically.


TV

same could be said for you.

You married your wife @ 30. On NL, a 30 yr old single is seen as 'an cargo' and 35 already experienced menopause

You are not even campaigning against marrying younger women; you are saying men should marry women about 10+yrs younger (2 different things)

A 35yr old woman is not old for a 50yr old man etc. while she will be considered 'old' on a normal day.

You married a mature single i.e. MOM whom you were older than by 10+ years.

You need to change your message

TV01:
Where have you been? Working out, juicing and making money - young men take note !

I wish, I have been hibernating

A mans ability to provide, or future potential to do so, has to be paramount for a woman that wants a family - and doesn't come with huge independent wealth of her own. That would be most women no? And, she'd be silly to not check the economic viability and fitness - in many respects, why do women typically want tall? - of the man who would father her children.

I have a small circle of friends, always have and if I were to go by my circle of friends over the last 20 years, my friends and I have always been about intelligence, respect and ambition.............in fact one of my 'toasters' back in the day was Obj's son, met him in 98 well before his dad became president up until his dad head became head honcho and he started to cruise around town. If anything his status changed nothing on my part. He is a very brilliant chap, graduated with a first and went to Cambridge to do a PhD. None of my friends ever asked me why I didn't date him.
Mr Naijababe asked me out around the same time and I preferred him even if he was penniless and wore 'tontinrin' trousers. I am aware that many women choose their mates on the basis that you stated but I don't think it can be considered the norm.

Men have other criteria. Yes in a long list, some criteria will be the same/overlap, but the hierarchy is different. I've mentioned kids out of wedlock as one example. may be important to both, but generally it's more of a deal-breaker for men.

I beg to differ, this is just your opinion. I can state an opposite position, if anything, the people I know who married someone with a kid are men, I am sitting here trying to remember any woman I know that did so and can't come up with any.[/quote]

Men look for fertility - typically presented as youth or beauty. That would possibly rank first. Amply evidenced by the many men who marry a woman based solely on looks.

Further down, would come things like fidelity, respect, intelligence etc. Money was never really an issue - and yes we do have male diggas/social climbers - which is why when I was broke, I couldn't date, but women just need a clean dress .

All of the above is true for both sexes.................lol at not being able to date, you went on the wrong dates, I have gone on dates where I paid my part of the bill happily..............in fact, one guy turned around and told his friend that I was arrogant because I offered to split the bill

I know times are a-changing and the financial climate make it hard for the average family to survive on one salary, and men to be in a position to marry as early as previously, but that's my basic take.

At least you admit to the impact of change of times on the financial position of a family unit, the same change is making the age thing almost redundant. I could you a picture of many a 25 year old women who married at 21 and I look much better than them. These things are about life choices.


TV[/quote]

edwife:
It is not hard,all my brothers married before 30.In French countries,that's is the normal age for marriage. A 19-21 years old wife will be a nightmare.But at least you said ,he can go a little older.

Not hard, in that men are incapable, just the difficulties that many may face. If marriage culture was what I think it should be, we'd all be prepared for marriage much earlier. I am a fan of early marriage and appreciate the earlier the marriage the closer in age the couple are likely to be.

A 19 year old needn't be a nightmare, any more than a 27 year old will be immature. It's about readiness. Old women can be nightmares too. Do you mean francophile WA nations?

edwife:
Now you make it seems that you are all about sex in marriage.Is sex the only factor that should keep a man married?

Absolutely not. But I specifically noted how this discussion focused on the benefits of the age difference for a married mans sex life.

edwife:
Many women have come here on NL to complain about their husband lack of "pleasuring" them in bed,and we all read from men that she should be patient with him,or teach him what she wants.Can't the man do the same?

I acknowledge that, and I am happy to discuss ways to forestall it and potential remedies. That is what I am doing here. Even with my reccomendation, it doesn't mean there wil not be issues. The maturity will also help cope with and resolve those. And that is not an age-difference related issue per se.

edwife:
As long as you acknowledge that she was sexy and definetely more together than most twenty somethings,she can be another man choice.

Exactly. I speak to men making the best and most well considered choices. My opinion of someone I'nm not interested in does not matter.

edwife:
I have seen many twenty somethings looking older and fatter than most 30s'.

I wouldn't be interested or advise men to go for those ones either. Although they'd be easier to work with than older, fatter women, and less likely to be fatter.

Don't forget that I have tasked men to be prospects themselves. To be fit, focused, monogamous, willing and mostly able to provide for their families. Why would they strive for that and not have choice?

No one denies women the right to want tall or rich, or want a Dr, or IT consultant or to be treated like a princess ! In some senses it's a market and one should properly value their goods.


TV

TV01:
You are right, it is down to the individuals involved - and every case is unique. I did say generally and advise the range as a rule of thumb, not a precise measure. On the flip side, I think you and others are being to "generalist" A loose plan/idea is better than none

Funnily enough, it's women that ideally want this - in some cases moreso than men who do not always think long-term. Think amongst the couples you know; the male will typically be older (and taller ).

Think back to Uni in Naija, how many jambite girls dated jambite boys - I no get sniff as jambite 0! Female hypergamy demands higher status in males and that usually comes with an age difference.

I was referencing it in particular with reference to sexual compatibility for this convo, not even status. As an ideal, it tends to work for both parties on many levels. People have just lost sight of why.

Afterall, speak the truth, how many Naija women consider their age mates "small boys"? Or even those proximate in age. How many girls dump guys when they can land bigger - and often older - fish?

And it's global. Afterall, I did not coin the adage "half your age plus 7 years". That's a particular Western saying. Only now the West is shaming men who marry younger.

All the women who partied or focused on their careers are hitting their 30's with no suitors, and asking where al the good men have gone? Into the arms of younger more nubile women.

Men are instinctively drawn to nubility and youth - it speaks to child-bearing. Dem's the facts. I'd wager my last dollar your relative youth was part of your DH' attraction. I'd also bet you've called your age mates "small boy" and would not have given a fellow jambite a look in !

Speak the truth - all y'all


TV

TV01 I never called my mates 'small boy' funny enough. I try as much as possible to try to look past stereotypes when dealing with people. I cant type long turenchi this afternoon cos I have a lot to do jare .And yes I would have dated a jambite if he was my type but all the ones I knew were hustling to enter clubs(urrggh).. my first boyfriend was actually just one year older. he was in 200 level while I was a jambite.

But I don't agree with 'benchmarking' the age of a spouse. You could have a preference but I honestly don't think its wise to let go if you meet someone who fits EVERY other criteria but that preference.

One last thing I forgot to mention, old women from naija to America have affairs with their drivers, pool boys and the likes...............I would hazard a guess that libido is much more than testorone, after all the best selling intimacy gadget is a 'rabbit'

TV01:
Not hard, in that men are incapable, just the difficulties that many may face. If marriage culture was what I think it should be, we'd all be prepared for marriage much earlier. I am a fan of early marriage and appreciate the earlier the marriage the closer in age the couple are likely to be.

Do you mean francophile WA nations?

Yes and you are talking to one.

Don't forget that I have tasked men to be prospects themselves. To be fit, focused, monogamous, willing and mostly able to provide for their families. Why would they strive for that and not have choice?

No one denies women the right to want tall or rich, or want a Dr, or IT consultant or to be treated like a princess ! In some senses it's a market and one should properly value their goods.
TV

Yes you are right as long as they keep their own bargain,everyone is happy.
Now i get you.

bukatyne:
same could be said for you.

You married your wife @ 30. On NL, a 30 yr old single is seen as 'an cargo' and 35 already experienced menopause

You are not even campaigning against marrying younger women; you are saying men should marry women about 10+yrs younger (2 different things)

A 35yr old woman is not old for a 50yr old man etc. while she will be considered 'old' on a normal day.

You married a mature single i.e. MOM whom you were older than by 10+ years.

You need to change your message

You mean it?

Brother tv why na?

edwife:
You mean it?

Brother tv why na?

I am serious.

Going by his message,

He feels it is better for a 40yr old man to marry a 30yr old than a 30yr old marry a 27yr old.

bellong:
Well, the issue of age should be individual's preference. I don't think there should be a rule of thumb to that part. Some prefer very young ladies, some age group while others prefer older ladies.

In my early twenties, I initially wanted to follow the footstep of father Abraham but lost the interest before I was ready for marriage. While marrying a younger person is good but I don't think it should be a guideline. Age should be sole discretion of individuals. The younger lady will also become old. The headmaster was once a school boy.

Bellong has saved me long turenchi this afternoon.

naijababe:
One last thing I forgot to mention, old women from naija to American have affairs with their drivers, pool boys and the likes...............I would hazard a guess that libido is much more than testorone, after all the best selling intimacy gadget is a 'rabbit'

How you take know?

TV01:
Where have you been? Working out, juicing and making money - young men take note !

A mans ability to provide, or future potential to do so, has to be paramount for a woman that wants a family - and doesn't come with huge independent wealth of her own. That would be most women no? And, she'd be silly to not check the economic viability and fitness - in many respects, why do women typically want tall? - of the man who would father her children.

Men have other criteria. Yes in a long list, some criteria will be the same/overlap, but the hierarchy is different. I've mentioned kids out of wedlock as one example. may be important to both, but generally it's more of a deal-breaker for men.

Men look for fertility - typically presented as youth or beauty. That would possibly rank first. Amply evidenced by the many men who marry a woman based solely on looks.

Further down, would come things like fidelity, respect, intelligence etc. Money was never really an issue - and yes we do have male diggas/social climbers - which is why when I was broke, I couldn't date, but women just need a clean dress .

I know times are a-changing and the financial climate make it hard for the average family to survive on one salary, and men to be in a position to marry as early as previously, but that's my basic take.

TV

The younger female singles are more likely to tick this box before marriage than the older singles. As a man, the lower you go, the higher the probability that you will be the sole breadwinner. And this is the reason why many guys will not marry young these days. They just don't have the means to provide fully for the home. But where you go for a matured single, she will be better able to share some of those responsibilities with you, down to the very basic ones sef. Well, times are hard so guys prefer this model now. Just that like I said earlier, you might then have to compromise on your "headship" or those things you consider ur basic right as the man of the house. Like the lady saying she would hire a chef and guys descended on her, but it's reality. He who plays the piper dictates the tune abi? But when two people are jointly playing the piper nko? They must both dictate the tune.

The first thing my FIL asked my husband then when he took me to him as his wife-to-be was - are you sure you are able to provide for this lady and the children that will come out of this union? That question is becoming more and more irrelevant these days.

jaybee3:
How you take know?

Personal survey

naijababe:
Personal survey

hehehehhehe

I don't believe you

talk jor