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I'm A Mother Of 2 Boys, And I Can't (and Won't) Support Feminism - Family - Nairaland

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I'm A Mother Of 2 Boys, And I Can't (and Won't) Support Feminism by jamesw: 9:55am On Nov 13, 2014
Yes, I'm a woman. But, I've had it with feminism. Here's why.
I'm a wife, mother, sister, daughter, business owner, sports nut and beer lover, but I am not a feminist. I may have been at one time, but then I became the mother of two boys and I realized that I cannot align with a message that has changed into something degrading, offensive, accusatory and opposed to the morals and messages I am teaching my kids.

You see, I'm kind of psyched to be raising my boys as gentlemen. I am proud to raise them to be hard-working and dedicated providers...

Source: http://www..com.ng/index.php/more-news/life-style-news/item/1286-i-m-a-mother-of-2-boys-and-i-can-t-and-won-t-support-feminism
Re: I'm A Mother Of 2 Boys, And I Can't (and Won't) Support Feminism by Nobody: 9:58am On Nov 13, 2014
Good to know
Re: I'm A Mother Of 2 Boys, And I Can't (and Won't) Support Feminism by bukatyne(f): 11:03am On Nov 13, 2014
[b]Yes, I'm a woman. But, I've had it with feminism. Here's why.

I'm a wife, mother, sister, daughter, business owner, sports nut and beer lover, but I am not a feminist. I may have been at one time, but then I became the mother of two boys and I realized that I cannot align with a message that has changed into something degrading, offensive, accusatory and opposed to the morals and messages I am teaching my kids.


You see, I'm kind of psyched to be raising my boys as gentlemen. I am proud to raise them to be hard-working and dedicated providers. I am raising them to treat the women in their lives like princesses, and to make eye contact with, and say hello to, everyone they meet. I am raising them to appreciate the beauty in a person based on what that person believes and how that person makes my boys feel, not on what that person is wearing or how much of their skin is exposed.



I want my boys to be chivalrous, to open doors and carry heavy loads, to ask a girl out on a date and pay the bill without expecting anything in return. I am encouraging my sons to tell girls when they think those girls look beautiful. I love that my boys want to surprise me (and eventually their partners) with gifts, and the spontaneous hug or peck on the cheek from time to time.

But, the latest campaigns by the feminist movement are telling boys they are wrong if they do these things, or anything else that would make a girl feel stereotypically "girly," or my sons to act stereotypically "gentleman-like." The FCKH8 Campaign would have girls tell my sons to "Bleep off" if they called them pretty or reached for their hand without permission.

Hollaback! sends the message that if my sons make eye contact with, or say "hello" to, a woman they don't know, they are a predator, or at the very least, a "creepy douchebag."#YesAllWomen wants my boys to know that the fact they have a penis makes them a threat. They cite the statistic that 1 in 5 women will be sexually assaulted, but seem to ignore that they are sending the message to little girls to assume 100% of all men are rapists.

#FreeTheNipples preaches to end "slut shaming," yet what they are really doing is flipping the shame of "sluttiness" from the girls who expose their breasts (and bellies and butt cheeks) to the boys who look at them. TakePart.com supports teen girls spin doctoring age-old terms like "boys will be boys," which is more about farting, burping, and falling out of trees than it is sexual harassment. They make claims like "dress codes are the result of boys not being able to control their sexual urges," but how about encouraging all students to simply dress with decency in a public institution designed for education and growth, instead of focusing on elevating social status and hooking up?

Teaching my boys that they are somehow wrong, perverted or bad if they look at what is being flaunted in front of them is also making the job of parents a thousand times harder to have that conversation about steering clear of "easy" girls. And, let's not assume for one second that there aren't plenty of them.

When the term feminism turned from being a message of empowerment and gender fairness to basically a list of rules, restrictions, idiosyncrasies, offenses and grievances directed at all things male, I tapped-out. I do not believe that opposite sexes can ever be completely equal, as there are very specific limitations for each gender.

I also believe that there is nothing wrong with many of the gender roles that have been honored throughout history. I want my sons to love unconditionally and I want their partners to do the same. I want my sons to choose a partner who honors their manliness, strength, valor, chivalry and masculinity, and I am raising them to honor the qualities and virtues in their partner as well, even if those qualities include being maternal, ladylike, demure, and feminine. I don't want my sons to ever have to submit to the anger of a woman who believes she is justified in treating him with disrespect based on the feminist movement.

I support fairness for everyone, but as long as being feminist means suppressing masculinity, it cannot possibly be called a "quest for equality." Respect is earned, not demanded. There will never be a time when I will tell my boys not to treasure, protect and admire the women in their lives because "Women don't need a man to feel valued." I say, "Value all people and the gifts they bring." Only then will the world be truly fair and equal. (Your Tango)[/b]

Source: http://www..com.ng/index.php/more-news/life-style-news/item/1286-i-m-a-mother-of-2-boys-and-i-can-t-and-won-t-support-feminism

OP, sorry I spoilt your market grin

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Re: I'm A Mother Of 2 Boys, And I Can't (and Won't) Support Feminism by Nobody: 11:43am On Nov 13, 2014
Feminists are scared of men. Fact. They feel threatened by manhood, they have been given equality, note the word given, and couldn't handle it because they haven't earned it. But when we say these things people come and say we feel threatened. What is not threatening about a woman making away with your property because she decides you no longer deserve her love? Or the preposterous "yes means yes" campaign. Feminism is not to be taken seriously. grin

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Re: I'm A Mother Of 2 Boys, And I Can't (and Won't) Support Feminism by Danhumprey: 11:58am On Nov 13, 2014
Where are them Nairaland feminists oo?grin


Feminists ==> A group of scared,frustrated,insecured and CONFUSED people! Smh.

No wonder,I don't even have their time. Arguing with feminists is just pointless and meaningless!


Pray tell,what's the difference between 'equity' and 'equality'?

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Re: I'm A Mother Of 2 Boys, And I Can't (and Won't) Support Feminism by Nobody: 12:03pm On Nov 13, 2014
Who is begging or forcing her to support feminism?

Who is she?

Of course, fvck the parents with female children. All 'I' want is my boys to grow up in society where they are privileged. undecided

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Re: I'm A Mother Of 2 Boys, And I Can't (and Won't) Support Feminism by Nobody: 12:48pm On Nov 13, 2014
BananaBender:
Who is begging or forcing her to support feminism?

Who is she?

Of course, fvck the parents with female children. All 'I' want is my boys to grow up in society where they are privileged. undecided


Pray tell, what special privileges is she advocating for her sons? I probably missed that part.

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Re: I'm A Mother Of 2 Boys, And I Can't (and Won't) Support Feminism by Nobody: 1:21pm On Nov 13, 2014

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Re: I'm A Mother Of 2 Boys, And I Can't (and Won't) Support Feminism by Nobody: 1:25pm On Nov 13, 2014
grin

It's so funny how ignorant some people are. Why did she waste all this writing all manner of rubbish if she is just going to contradict herself in the end? undecided Is this not asking for equality in itself undecided

I also believe that there is nothing wrong with many of the gender roles that we have been honored throughout history. I want my sons to love unconditionally and I want their partners to do the same. I want my sons to choose a partner who honors their manliness, strength, valor, chivalry and masculinity, and I am raising them to honor the qualities and virtues in their partner as well, even if those qualities include being maternal, ladylike, demure, and feminine. I don't want my sons to ever have to submit to the anger of a woman who believes she is justified in treating him with disrespect based on the feminist movement.

Treat the other gender with the equal compassion, humanity and care you would want in return undecided

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Re: I'm A Mother Of 2 Boys, And I Can't (and Won't) Support Feminism by Nobody: 1:35pm On Nov 13, 2014
freshdude2:
Pray tell, what special privileges is she advocating for her sons? I probably missed that part.

I would teach my son how to cook and clean the house, the same way i would teach my female daughter how to change a flat tyre and use a lawn mower.

Thats what i believe is gender equality i should never make my male child feel he is too sexxy to cook or wash a plate! If he moves out of my house and has to leave on his own without a maid, who in the hell will do these things for him?
I will never give my female child the impression that she is too fragile to remove and replace a car tyre or cut grass. if she ever gets stranded in the middle of nowhere because she doesn't know how to change an ordinary tyre, who will help her?

Gender equality also means you teach your female and male child how to be independent too, so i don't see why some of you still make all of this noise about special privileges?

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Re: I'm A Mother Of 2 Boys, And I Can't (and Won't) Support Feminism by Nobody: 1:47pm On Nov 13, 2014
Mondisweets:


I would teach my son how to cook and clean the house, the same way i would teach my female daughter how to change a flat tyre and use a lawn mower.

Thats what i believe is gender equality i should never make my male child feel he is too sexxy to cook or wash a plate! If he moves out of my house and has to leave on his own without a maid, who in the hell will do these things for him?
I will never give my female child the impression that she is too fragile to remove and replace a car tyre or cut grass. if she ever gets stranded in the middle of nowhere because she doesn't know how to change an ordinary tyre, who will help her?

Gender equality also means you teach your female and male child how to be independent too, so i don't see why some of you still make all of this noise about special privileges?
Congratulations on the list of things you intend to teach your children.
But I need you to explain to me how not teaching your son to cook or your daughter to change a car tyre a privilege and not a handicap? And who's saying they won't teach their children relevant life skills

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Re: I'm A Mother Of 2 Boys, And I Can't (and Won't) Support Feminism by Nobody: 2:01pm On Nov 13, 2014
freshdude2:
Congratulations on the list of things you intend to teach your children.
But I need you to explain to me how not teaching your son to cook or your daughter to change a car tyre a privilege and not a handicap? And who's saying they won't teach their children relevant life skills
teaching them to do so makes them realise that neither one should feel they are too special to do one chore or the other, thats gender equality, removing the bearers.
So before some of you go around talking all manner of nonsense about gender equality, ask yourself how removing barriers with regard to gender roles was ever a negative thing?

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Re: I'm A Mother Of 2 Boys, And I Can't (and Won't) Support Feminism by Nobody: 2:32pm On Nov 13, 2014
Mondisweets:
teaching them to do so makes them realise that neither one should feel they are too special to do one chore or the other, thats gender equality, removing the bearers.
So before some of you go around talking all manner of nonsense about gender equality, ask yourself how removing barriers with regard to gender roles was ever a negative thing?
You sound like an iidiot who thinks they know stuff but they don't. It's obvious, this isn't an insult. Is there any society more patriarchal than that of early Africa? Do you mean to tell me that the men in that society didn't cook or weren't taught to cook?

Before you piss blood all over this thread, consider the meaning of terms you're spouting and their practicality. How many homes do you know where the fathers are the primary meal manufacturers, does it mean those men don't cook or can't cook? Have you not seen women split firewood in Africa doesn't that require substantial physical strength and should naturally be the preserve of men(heavy lifting?)?

Life tools are life tools and should be taught to everyone to a logical extent. However, gender roles are what they are and certain skills will only be electives to the core of a gender's natural and situational roles, and no amount of gender equalism crusading can negate that.

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Re: I'm A Mother Of 2 Boys, And I Can't (and Won't) Support Feminism by Nobody: 2:51pm On Nov 13, 2014
freshdude2:
You sound like an iidiot who thinks they know stuff but they don't. It's obvious, this isn't an insult. Is there any society more patriarchal than that of early Africa? Do you mean to tell me that the men in that society didn't cook or weren't taught to cook?
i wont find it to be insulting because its always the id.iot who resorts to insulting people when he fails to raise any sound points. 3 fingers always pointing right back at you anyway undecided


Before you piss blood all over this thread, consider the meaning of terms you're spouting and their practicality. How many homes do you know where the fathers are the primary meal manufacturers, does it mean those men don't cook or can't cook? Have you not seen women split firewood in Africa doesn't that require substantial physical strength and should naturally be the preserve of men(heavy lifting?)?


And i know more families in [size=16pt] 2014 [/size] were both the husband and wife take care of the financial responsibilities more than families where the husband is sole breadwinner.

So if women possess just as much as physical strength man have, and put in just as much strength into cutting firewood and carrying it on their head, does that not prove to some degree that women and man are equal? You are gonna contradict yourself and dare call me the idi.ot, how ironic?! undecided


Life tools are life tools and should be taught to everyone to a logical extent. However, gender roles are what they are and certain skills will only be electives to the core of a gender's natural and situational roles, and no amount of gender equalism crusading can negate that.
if a man speaks of himself as a family head because he is the provider... Will it not be redundant to expect a woman to play half the part as a provider as well? Before u go around pointing fingers and calling people names, look at the 3 fingers pointing back at you.

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Re: I'm A Mother Of 2 Boys, And I Can't (and Won't) Support Feminism by Nobody: 3:20pm On Nov 13, 2014
Mondisweets:

1. I wont find it to be insulting because its always the id.iot who resorts to insulting people when he fails to raise and sound reason. 3 fingers always backing right back at you anyway undecided




2. And i know more families in [size=16pt] 2014 [/size] were both the husband and wife take care of the financial responsibilities more than families where the husband is sole breadwinner.

3. So if women possess just as much as physical strength man have, and put in just as much strength into cutting firewood and carrying it on their head, does that not prove to some degree that women and man are equal? You are gonna contradict yourself and dare call me the idi.ot, how ironic?! undecided


4. If a man speaks of himself as a family head because he is the provider... Will it not make it redundant to expect a woman to place half the part as a provider as well? Before u go around pointing fingers and calling people names, look at the 3 fingers pointing back at you.
1. Glad you know that. Remember that when you say people are talking nonsense. You're not the victim here, you're the loser. Take note.

2 & 3. You either lack understanding, have comprehension deficiency or are deliberately trying to ignore my points. In the 2014 dual income homes you know, who generally provides more and who is regarded as the primary provider, or do they bring in the same amount of money to the last kobo?
Also, what's the proportion of women wood-splitters to that of men? Who generally does physical stuff around the house or in the workplace? How many women are in mining, or masonry or other similar professions? And you say you're not an iidiot, even after my electives and core course analogy?! And by the way, strawman arguments make you look even more idiotiic, I neither said nor inferred that women possessed as much physical strength as men.

4. Finally, headship in the home is not just about finances, even though that plays a huge role. If you would like to know what headship of the home means be humble enough to ask those in the know.

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Re: I'm A Mother Of 2 Boys, And I Can't (and Won't) Support Feminism by Nobody: 3:32pm On Nov 13, 2014
freshdude2:

1. Glad you know that. Remember that when you say people are talking nonsense. You're not the victim here, you're the loser. Take note.
you are the winner who has successfully contradicted himself in his posts, that im very much aware of undecided

Also, what's the proportion of women wood-splitters to that of men? Who generally does physical stuff around the house or in the workplace?


Like i said in 2014 its both men and women. Why do u keep asking things i have already given an answer to?

How many women are in mining, or masonry or other similar professions?


I know quite a good number of women into construction, mining, athletes, body builders...

And you say you're not an iidiot, even after my electives and core course analogy?!


My father told me empty vessels always make the most noise. They believe they have to undermine other people to make themselves feel relevant or superior.

I on the other hand do not believe i have to call someone else a loser to believe that im relevant grin my achievements speak for themselves grin but your kind clearly does feel the need to prove yourself wrong because deep inside you know u feel inadequate. its rather petty if u ask me cheesy

And by the way, strawman arguments make you look even more idiotiic, I neither said nor inferred that women possessed as much physical strength as men.
so the reason you raised that point was because? undecided

4. Finally, headship in the home is not just about finances, even though that plays a huge role. If you would like to know what headship of the home means be humble enough to ask those in the know.

so if finances play the huge role, which things play the minor role? undecided

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Re: I'm A Mother Of 2 Boys, And I Can't (and Won't) Support Feminism by zeb04(f): 3:39pm On Nov 13, 2014
This is just rubbish.how does feminism relate to opening doors and lifting heavy loads isn't it just common sense to know all these undecided

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Re: I'm A Mother Of 2 Boys, And I Can't (and Won't) Support Feminism by iykedare(m): 3:42pm On Nov 13, 2014
LOL
Re: I'm A Mother Of 2 Boys, And I Can't (and Won't) Support Feminism by Stillfire: 3:46pm On Nov 13, 2014
You see, I'm kind of psyched to be raising my boys as gentlemen. I am proud to raise them to be hard-working and dedicated providers. I am raising them to treat the women in their lives like princesses, and to make eye contact with, and say hello to, everyone they meet. I am raising them to appreciate the beauty in a person based on what that person believes and how that person makes my boys feel, not on what that person is wearing or how much of their skin is exposed.



I want my boys to be chivalrous, to open doors and carry heavy loads, to ask a girl out on a date and pay the bill without expecting anything in return. I am encouraging my sons to tell girls when they think those girls look beautiful. I love that my boys want to surprise me (and eventually their partners) with gifts, and the spontaneous hug or peck on the cheek from time to time.

I hope this woman is not African otherwise she's utterly confused.
Chivalry is NOT an African construct! All the above are evidence of confusion.
Hugs and pecks on the cheek? Hahahaha
Fela the quintessential African sang I no be gentleman at all, I be African man original! grin grin grin
Na woman they do the above for man in Africa o. When an African man pays the bills on a date he expects se.xx in return!
Lol I see a lot of women want the perks of either side, rotflmao!!!!!!!!!!!!! grin grin grin grin grin grin
If you are not a feminist, you have to be the quintessential African wife!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! grin grin grin grin grin grin
You can't pick or choose.
If you dunno how to be an African wife, look below

The rules of engagement of being the quintessential African wife!
Culled from the emeritus prof....Ilekokonit

https://www.nairaland.com/1980592/tips-keeping-good-african-man

Tips To Keeping A Good African Man - © Ilekokonit - 4 Nov 2014

· Recognise that not every westernised idea or norm is good for the longevity of an African relationship
· Respect your man, respect his African values
· Don’t rubbish African culture for the sake of feminism
· Know or learn what being an African man is all about
· Recognise that a woman living alone for a long concerted time reduces a woman’s compatibility with a proper African man
· Don’t puncture his balloon just to get even or drag him down
· Don’t be hateful, spiteful or seek revenge
· Be forgiving, Don’t be mean and Don’t be wicked
· Recognise that even Beyoncé who sang “independent woman” is still holding tight to her man, likewise the Queen of England and Margaret Thatcher before her death
· Keep the parts of your body that are meant to be hidden, hidden and not on public display
· Serve as a good role model to his children especially his daughter(s)
· Don’t by your way of life / dressing set bad moral examples for his children especially his daughter(s)
· Don’t stop him from bringing up his children with good old school African values
· Never antagonize him in front of anyone especially his kids even behind his back
· Recognize that a boy’s first and everlasting hero is his father and so, never belittle, curse, shout at or castigate him in front of his children especially his sons. Remember that in almost ALL cases, the boy will remind you in later years how you maltreated his dad when he was young and he couldn’t do anything about it
· Recognise that a woman’s crown is her man
· Be DRAMA FREE, Don’t be rude, saucy or stroppy
· Don’t be selfish or self-centered
· Don’t be addicted to TV, fashion, jewelries or your career !!!
· Don’t keep up with the jones
· Believe in for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health because he seriously does whatever the situation
· Don’t be evil or fetish
· You Don’t need a pastor or imam to tell you about the future of your relationship
· Value his opinion above that of your pastor or imam or even your parents
· Realise that 2 cannot work together unless they agree
· Don’t compete with him financially or otherwise fully realizing that he is willing to share everything he has with you
· Don’t have the erroneous belief that "his money is your money and your money is your money"
· Don’t keep secrets from him
· Don’t be crafty, evasive, deceitful or manipulative
· Don’t try to manipulative him with anything (not even religion)
· Don’t be combative, cantankerous
· Don’t tear your own home apart with your very own hands like the woman who does just that with her own hands in Proverbs 14:1 and is described by the bible as foolish
· Realise that a foolish woman keeps talking but a wise woman understands the power of her words as well as her silence
· Realise that it is a FACT when Proverbs 21:9 says that It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house and as such keeps your home peaceful
· Don’t be moody, unfriendly or stubborn to him
· REALISE THAT PART OF WHAT PUTS A MAN OFF HIS WIFE FOR GOOD IS THE FACIAL EXPRESSIONS YOU USE WHEN QUARELLING WITH HIM
· Realise the difference between slapping your man in a film and slapping your man in real life
· Keep friends who are family orientated and want to last in their relationships with their other halves
· Don’t threaten to harm yourself or drink bleach just to get his attention or win an argument
· Faces issues head on without hiding behind non issues
· Don’t deny him his conjugal rights
· Want to grow old with him together, be in the relationship for the long haul
· Don’t be crafty, evasive, cagey or secretive
· Don’t have unnecessary male friends
· allow him access to your phone if you are not hiding anything
· Don’t be deceived by your being young or by your beautiful face, realise that the real beauty of a woman is in your character
· Don’t believe that because you are beautiful then you cannot be corrected
· Don’t lie to him
· Don’t be a combative feminist
· Don’t indulge in being married to an inanimate object
· Don’t smoke and if you do drink, do so rarely, moderately and only on social occasions and Don’t form the habit of drinking alone (Even most men Don’t drink alone except for alcoholics)
· Don’t do drugs
· Value the old school family values that our parents held dear
· Treat him like your mum treated your dad (hopefully, your mum treated your dad well)
· Realise that no man wants to live with a combative quarrelsome woman
· Don’t hide behind crocodile tears just to get your way
· Don’t always have an answer for everything (nobody does)
· Don’t talk at 1000 miles per hour just because you can
· Think before you talk
· Don’t monopolize the conversation.
· Conversation is a 2 way thing. You talk, keep quiet, let him talk, and you listen, then ponder his response before forming your response
· Don’t be over-ambitious or money motivated if you want to keep an African man
· Don’t strive to keep up with the Jones, Don’t copy your friends especially their bad behaviors including haughtiness and pride towards your man
· Don’t copy the way loud, foul-mouthed Nollywood actresses abuse men. Copying them is a recipe for quick divorce
· Don’t feel superior to your man and never treat him with disdain or arrogance
· Don’t be stingy to him if he is generous to you
· Realise that him loving you is not a sign of weakness
· Never try to give him orders
· Make respect your watch word
· Love a harmonious home
· NEVER keep grudges, never bottles things up
· openly discuss issues as they arise
· NEVER discuss your marital issues with your parents, friends or any 3rd party
· Be in the relationship for the long haul and Don’t be a serial man changer just because you think your beauty will last forever
· NEVER EVER feel that there are many fish in the ocean (not all fish are good. Some are poisonous in the short or long run)
· If you get a good man, do your best to keep him irrespective of what your “friends” say as ENOUGH African men are delaying marriage because of the aggression and wild ways of the potential suitors currently available
· Realise that the phrase money is not everything did not just fall from the sky. There was a reason it was coined those many years ago
· Realise that a lot of “proper” African men see educated African women as too combative and so tone down your “gra gra” when you are in his company
· You may be a manager of teacher at work but drop those badges at the door before you enter the house as no African likes being lectured by his woman. You are his woman and not his lecturer.
· If you meet a new guy who is honest enough to tell you he is currently unemployed, never assume that he is going to ask you for money as REAL African men never ask a woman for money nor collect such if offered
· Never get used to living alone for too long lest you become so used to your freedom, space and singleness that sub-consciously you frustrate every new man you meet because your spirit wants to remain free
· Realise that NOT everything that helps you climb the career ladder is helpful to your marriage. Some of them are destructive to African marriages
· Never use sex as a weapon
· Whenever your hubby chooses a late night hubby away from the home or chooses to go alone to the beer parlor repeatedly instead of staying with you at home and only comes back at around 2am or later on a consistent basis then he is trying to say to you that his love for you is dying a slow death and he can no longer bear your company as you are making his life miserable at home and/or you are no longer listening to him
· Don’t neglect your man supposedly because of religious duties, realise that there is a time for everything and Don’t spend too many hours at church/mosque leaving your man lonely at home
· Don’t hide behind religion or religious phrases just to control your man, Don’t choose to pontificate and sermonize him instead of discussing real issues with your non-religious hat on
· Don’t adopt a holier than thou attitude with him
· Don’t lecture him, Don’t sermonize when he is discussing something with you with his rational mind
· Don’t form the bad habit of lying to him especially if he is truthful to you
· NEVER put your career or business above your relationship !!!
· Don’t feel your joint kids are your property or a meal ticket for you in the future and never use his kids as a weapon or bargaining ticket with him
· NEVER turn his children against him
· Be kind to him
· Don’t practice NLP - neuro linguistic programming (or any other type of mind control techniques that Westernised women use to climb the career ladder) on him as most smart men know when they are being manipulated
· Never use NLP techniques on him when discussing issues with him in a ploy to put him on the defensive so that you will win the argument
· Don’t argue with him unnecessarily or argue with him just to tick your log book of arguments you have won with him
· Don’t try to control him IN ANY WAY
· Don’t give him orders
· Don’t argue with him just for arguments sake
· Don’t wind him up or stress him when there is no need for it
· If you try to control him or play unnecessary mind games on him or try to control his mind in the first few weeks of meeting him, then chances are that that relationship will not last (that’s even if it starts in the first place)
· Remember that unnecessarily or repeatedly stressing your man only quickens the end of that relationship
· Realise that “Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man” is just a book that Steve Harvey made loads of money from.
· A lady should always be a lady in her actions and in thoughts and “Acting Like a Lady and Thinking Like a Man” is not just difficult to maintain, it is deceptive, it portrays the woman as unnecessarily competitive and aggressive and is a sure fire way to a quick divorce or separation
· Wishing you all the best as you search for that “Good” African man of which there are loads IF YOU KNOW HOW TO KEEP THEM INTERESTED FOR THE LONG HAUL

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Re: I'm A Mother Of 2 Boys, And I Can't (and Won't) Support Feminism by Stillfire: 3:48pm On Nov 13, 2014
Damn I love Afrobeats! cool

[img]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=snIV_-IECsM[/img]
Re: I'm A Mother Of 2 Boys, And I Can't (and Won't) Support Feminism by crackhaus: 4:00pm On Nov 13, 2014
Thread number 2 I'm coming across today that's dumping the sh1t on feminism - surely, the light is gradually being seen and acknowledged by the majority.

Evil must not be allowed to hold sway, especially when it comes masked under the cloak of equality.

3 Likes

Re: I'm A Mother Of 2 Boys, And I Can't (and Won't) Support Feminism by crackhaus: 4:14pm On Nov 13, 2014
zeb04:
This is just rubbish.how does feminism relate to opening doors and lifting heavy loads isn't it just common sense to know all these undecided
What is the common sense and what is feminism?

As a feminist yourself, which of these feminist campaigns are you actively a part of? - oops scratch that, how many of these were you even aware of before this thread?
FCKH8 Campaign, Hollaback!, #YesAllWomen, #FreeTheNipples, TakePart.com

And when I call people on here pseudo-feminists, y'all think I just enjoy using fancy words... grin

4 Likes

Re: I'm A Mother Of 2 Boys, And I Can't (and Won't) Support Feminism by Nobody: 4:19pm On Nov 13, 2014
Mondisweets:

1. you are the winner who has successfully contradicted himself in his posts, that im very much aware of undecided



2. Like i said in 2014 its both men and women. Why do u keep asking things i have already given an answer to?



3. I know quite a good number of women into construction, mining, athletes, body builders...



4. My father told me empty vessels always make the most noise. They believe they have to undermine other people to make themselves feel relevant or superior.

5. I on the other hand do not believe i have to call someone else a loser to believe that im relevant grin my achievements speak for themselves grin but your kind clearly does feel the need prove yourself wrong because deep inside you know u feel inadequate. its rather petty if u ask me cheesy

6. so the risen you raised that point was because? undecided

7. so if finances play the huge role, which things play the minor role? undecided
1. Good thing you concede defeat.

2. Apparently, you do not understand the concept of value.

3. Again, th concept of ratio and proportion and value eludes you.

4. Did he also tell you the difference in value of an empty gold vessel when compared to a tin vessel full of shiit?

5. Congrats on your ascension. Strawman arguments have no value. Your achievements have no value to me. Still you present as an iidiotic loser. Not my fault, that's the reality.

6. Risen/reason? The reason is your deliberate(?)Confuscation at my rather clearly-presented points, apparently, comprehension isn't one of your strong points. Let's talk about the points, if you dare. Or don't bother quoting me.

7. The huge role: a huge role. Mondisweets, are you a deliberate iidiot?

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Re: I'm A Mother Of 2 Boys, And I Can't (and Won't) Support Feminism by Nobody: 4:25pm On Nov 13, 2014

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Re: I'm A Mother Of 2 Boys, And I Can't (and Won't) Support Feminism by cKaiser: 4:26pm On Nov 13, 2014
Mondisweets:


I would teach my son how to cook and clean the house, the same way i would teach my female daughter how to change a flat tyre and use a lawn mower.

Thats what i believe is gender equality i should never make my male child feel he is too sexxy to cook or wash a plate! If he moves out of my house and has to leave on his own without a maid, who in the hell will do these things for him?
I will never give my female child the impression that she is too fragile to remove and replace a car tyre or cut grass. if she ever gets stranded in the middle of nowhere because she doesn't know how to change an ordinary tyre, who will help her?

Gender equality also means you teach your female and male child how to be independent too, so i don't see why some of you still make all of this noise about special privileges?

You might have to take your crusade up with nature who created both sexes different.

Its nature who made men naturally stronger than women due to having a higher muscle mass.

A baby boy from 7 month graviatates towards Trucks, balls and high risk play while a baby girl wants to play with dolls, tend them love them and is generally calmed

Its nature who made women more fragile, tender and caring.

Its nature who made men have more testosterone required for military, Taking risks and daring acts

No amount of role equality can make a man conceive a child naturally nor a woman impregnate another woman. Genes and nature control that

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Re: I'm A Mother Of 2 Boys, And I Can't (and Won't) Support Feminism by Nobody: 4:29pm On Nov 13, 2014
freshdude2:


4. Did he also tell you the difference in value of an empty gold vessel when compared to a tin vessel full of shiit?

Clearly yours is not a gold vessel

5. Congrats on your ascension. Strawman arguments have no value. Your achievements have no value to me. Still you present as an iidiotic loser. Not my fault, that's the reality.
not that you would have sensible achievment anyway. undecided

Risen/reason? The reason is your deliberate(?)Confuscation at my rather clearly-presented points, apparently, comprehension isn't one of your strong points. Let's talk about the points, if you dare. Or don't bother quoting me.
let's talk about points...dont bother quoting me... you don't get tired of contradicting yourself now do you See what self-proclaimed intelligence can do grin and it didnt even require anymore effort on my part.

7. The huge role: a huge role. Mondisweets, are you a deliberate iidiot?
So if both husband and wife contribute to the major/huge role, what makes him the head if his role is divided undecided

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Re: I'm A Mother Of 2 Boys, And I Can't (and Won't) Support Feminism by Nobody: 4:37pm On Nov 13, 2014
Mondisweets:


1. Clearly yours is not a gold vessel

2. not that you would have sensible achievment anyway. undecided

3. you don't get tired of contradicting yourself now do you See what self-proclaimed intelligence can do grin and it didnt even require anymore effort on my part.

4. So if both husband and wife contribute to the major/huge role, what makes him the head if his role is divided undecided
1. You lack any concept of value or how to measure it. You're the last person who should give judgement on it.

2. Again, your idiocy has got the better of you.

3. More idiocy.

4. Mumu, refer to the comment where I referred to the role of finances before going further on that point.

This will be my final response to your blatant stewpidity. I don't expect someone who cannot defend their degree to put up any sensible argument in a different field. If you have nothing sensible to write, be content to watch from the sidelines. There are people willing to learn whose view you're blocking.

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Re: I'm A Mother Of 2 Boys, And I Can't (and Won't) Support Feminism by Nobody: 4:37pm On Nov 13, 2014
cKaiser:


You might have to take your crusade up with nature who created both sexes different.

Its nature who made men naturally stronger than women due to having a higher muscle mass.

Its nature who made women more fragile, tender and caring.
if women were any fragile i doubt majority who have given birth would have survived it. The pain endured is as intense as have 5 different bones being broken at the same time.


Its nature who made men have more testosterone required for military, Taking risks and daring acts
and the reason why we have many senseless wars all around the world too smiley

No amount of role equality can make a man conceive a child naturally nor a woman impregnate another woman. Genes and nature control that
we are talking about equality in things that are not restricted by nature.

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Re: I'm A Mother Of 2 Boys, And I Can't (and Won't) Support Feminism by Nobody: 4:39pm On Nov 13, 2014
Nonso23:

See PhD dissertation. shocked shocked

Odika nke-a meturu gi n'opupu oo.
grin
BTW, I didn't see 'African' nor 'Nigerian' in that post. Stop assuming.
Hope Hubby no be African Man sha?
Don't bother to respond. We know the answer. Every other man is thrash except my husband. grin
strawman and tu quoqee in active commission. You'd be hard pressed to find anything resembling logic from that bloc.

1 Like

Re: I'm A Mother Of 2 Boys, And I Can't (and Won't) Support Feminism by Nobody: 4:41pm On Nov 13, 2014
freshdude2:

1. You lack any concept of value or how to measure it. You're the last person who should give judgement on it.

2. Again, your idiocy has got the better of you.

3. More idiocy.

4. Mumu, refer to the comment where I referred to the role of finances before going further on that point.

This will be my final response to your blatant stewpidity. I don't expect someone who cannot defend their degree to put up any sensible argument in a different field. If you have nothing sensible to write, be content to watch from the sidelines. There are people willing to learn whose view you're blocking.
i hope insulting me has helped u feel better about your inadequate self. When u can't give a sensible answer you resort to insults. Like i said empty vessels ( the rusty tin type) make the most noise.

15 Likes

Re: I'm A Mother Of 2 Boys, And I Can't (and Won't) Support Feminism by Nobody: 4:43pm On Nov 13, 2014

1 Like

Re: I'm A Mother Of 2 Boys, And I Can't (and Won't) Support Feminism by Stillfire: 4:47pm On Nov 13, 2014
Nonso23:

See PhD dissertation. shocked shocked

Odika nke-a meturu gi n'opupu oo.
grin
BTW, I didn't see 'African' nor 'Nigerian' in that post. Stop assuming.
Hope Hubby no be African Man sha?
Don't bother to answer. We know the answer. Every other man is thrash except my husband. grin

Lol! No be Ilekokonit write am? I should stop assuming? Why is it on an African forum then when being chivalrous to women is alien to us grin? Na you dey carry madam grocery bag? Se na you dey open car doors for madam? It is highly westernized to help women carry load. African women carry their loads themselves and is called to pamper the man and not the other way round. African women that are not feminist should abide by the rules of being the quintessential African woman as posted by the emeritus prof himself ilekokonit. grin I've noticed they wanna have it both ways. Mba nu Nonso! we must all choose one. cheesy

For further ways to know how to act like the correct African wife, here is a documentary on the Afar women.
All what the men did was to rear cows, sleep, eat, drink and sleep again rotflmao! The women built their huts themselves, even agadi nwanyi.
Why should an African man carry the load for an African woman, that is so Westernized abeg!

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