INTRODUCTION: Marriage is not a game. It is not a union one should jump into, with the mind of jumping out when the going gets tough. It is an Institution ordained by God, where the participants are bonded into a permanent union, a lifelong commitment where they must stick to it through thick and thin. The bible puts it this way
Mathew 19:5-6
5. And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? 6. Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
Marriage is not always bed of roses, as there will definitely be ups and downs, challenges, crises as well as peace , joy and satisfaction. But the ability to withstand theses rigors and come out of it strong willed and willing to hang on is very important.
So, before you jump into marriage, you must have it at the back of your mind that you are going into a union that is based on the maximum “FOR BETTER, FOR WORSE” There are a whole lot of things which you must really put into consideration before embarking on this great journey. For the purpose of simplicity of this write-up, we’re going to look at them one after the other.
READINESS: Before you even start thinking about settling down, you need to ask yourself this question, AM I READY FOR MARRIAGE? Or do you just want to get married because your parents are pressurizing you into it? Or is it because all your friends are getting married? You don’t have to allow other people detect for you. You have to be psychologically and emotionally ready for the lifetime plunge. You need to acknowledge the fact that nobody will live you live for you. So if you allow other people to bamboozle you into marriage when you’re not ready, they will surely not be there to wipe your tears when things go wrong.
MATURITY: Many people see maturity from the wrong perspective. It is not all about age and size, but of the mind. Maturity counts a lot in marriage, the way you handle issues around you determines your level of maturity. Some people can be well above thirty years of age, but still possesses the mentality of a teenager. I want to state here very clear that “old age without wisdom is as good as nothing” . psychological and emotional maturity in handling issues will keep you in a stable frame of mind to be able to deal with the stress that comes with marriage and marital conflicts.
EXAMINE YOURSELF: You need to examine yourself very well before jumping into marriage. You be sure of what you want, and also need to be very sure that you’re moving into the right thing. This issue of self examination is obviously necessary because you need to know if the union you are going into will be something you can live with for the rest of your life.
SET YOUR GOALS: If you really want your marriage to work, you must set goals in your mind. Set realistic goals and not just building castles in the air. These are thing you will have to work assiduously towards archiving them. If you want a good home and a secure marriage, you must set achievable goals. This is a very import aspect of self preparation for this great life commitment.
BE RERADY TO ADJUST: As a man, you should know that your duty will now be to your wife, and hanging out with friends should be greatly minimized. Being glued to the television set, watching sports twenty-four hours should be minimized as well. Your spouse will need quality time with you, and will not be happy to share you with your friends and sport. Success in marriage is not about forcing your partner to like whatever thing you like, but about your ability to adjust to what he/she likes, provided it is a scripturally and socially acceptable lifestyle and practice.
COMMUNICATION: Communication is the password to a successful marriage. Spend time to have a healthy conversation with your proposed partner. Don’t ever make the mistake of “we will have all the time on earth to talk when we finally get married” make sure you talk about virtually everything as it matters to you, talk about your interest, lifestyle, dreams and future aspirations. A very healthy conversation will offer you a much clearer picture of what to expect. On the alter of communication and good interaction, you should be able to convincingly answer the following questions;
i. ARE YOU WILLING TO ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY, AS FAR AS IS REASONABLE, FOR MAKING THE RELATIONSHIP WORK People who recognize that their actions influence their spouses’ behavior are best able to work out marital difficulties. Success in marriage is not dependent on finding the right partner, but you have to be the right partner, with the mindset of helping your partner to attain perfection.
ii. IS THERE THE FEELING OF SOLID AND ENDURING FRIENDSHIP? People in satisfying marriages often describe their spouses as their best friend. Some people have trouble accepting the notion that a person of the opposite sex could be their best friend. Thus, they overlook the possibility of friendship in marriage. However, a good friendship, with its trust, support, and loyalty, is the bedrock of a solid marriage.
iii. ARE YOU INTERESTED IN THE SATISFACTION OF EACH OTHER’S NEEDS? Love includes a passionate desire to gratify your loved-one’s needs and desires.
Many people marry with the idea that marriage will satisfy all their requirements. Others believe it is their spouses’ duty to take care of them. In addition, some people are unhappy being single and believe only marriage will make them happy. Imagine the burden all three of these views place on their partners.
Iv DO YOU FEEL COMFORTABLE WHEN YOU ARE IN THE COMPANY OF YOUR INTENDED’S FAMILY AND FRIENDS? Be aware that marriage frequently comes with a large cast of loveable, and sometimes not-so-loveable, characters It is true that you will be marrying your mate and not your mate’s family. Nevertheless, if your intended loves his or her family and plans to spend much time with them, you best like them too, or at least be able to tolerate them.
v. IS your INTENDED SEXUALLY ATTRACTIVE AND SATISFYING TO you Sexual and affectional compatibility are vital parts of a lasting and satisfying marriage. For almost everyone, sexual gratification is one of the prime features of marriage. It is important that your needs be met in this area.
vi. DO you HAVE COMPATIBLE INTERESTS, ATTITUDES, VALUES AND GOALS It is important to be in harmony about the things you like to do, the beliefs you hold important, the way you view the world, and your life’s objectives. These issues are so fundamentally important I could have listed them first. These are also the areas most frequently focused on by dating services. Without a reasonable match in these four areas, we diminish our chances for a long and successful relationship.
vii. DO YOU LIKE THE WAY YOU FEEL ABOUT
YOURSELF WHEN YOU ARE WITH YOUR INTENDED?
The way you feel about yourself when in your mate’s company frequently reflects your partner’s underlying, often unstated sentiments.
This is really a variant of the previous questions and has to do with feelings of personal acceptance stemming from the relationship, but at deeper levels.

Viii HAS YOUR COURTSHIP BEEN SMOOTH OR TURBULENT? Frequent or caustic premarital fights predict turmoil after marriage. Did you get along well during your time of dating, or did you have many fights and disagreements? A “no” answer to the previous question (Quest. 1) indicates a lack of acceptance of each other’s basic behavioral traits. Your lack of acceptance will show itself in frequent fights and conflict and, thus, as a high level of turbulence in your courtship.
ix DO you ACCEPT EACH OTHER AS you BOTH ARE? It is important to accept each other’s faults, flaws, and shortcomings without the need to make changes. This is a fundamental issue and possibly the most important question here. It reaches into the heart of the relationship and addresses a matter basic for stability and longevity.

DEAL WITH CHALLENGES: Be very conscious of the fact that problems will always arise, before and during marriage. So you must prepare your mind to deal with such problems squarely. You’ll not have to run away from your problems [remember your partner’s problems are your problems too]. Most especially financial problems arise almost on a daily basis, and it is your place to deal with on the face whenever it pops up. Remember, “he who fights and run away lives to fight another day” work out your plans so as not to over stretch yourself over your bounds. Talk to each other about your needs to tackle your problems together. Whatever you do, don’t sleep over your problems.
DON’T MARRY OUT OF SYMPATHY: One of the greatest mistakes you’ll ever make in life is to marry out sympathy. Marriage is no contract, but an everlasting union, so if you notice anything you feel you cannot cope with for the rest of your life, and you see no possibility of it being corrected, please it is very advisable you for a diplomatic way of calling off the relationship because that very issue will surely hunt you in future. Try to avoid thoughts like “if I quit now, he/she will be hurt; we have really come a long way together; how will he/she feel? What will people say? Remember it is better to have a broken relationship than a broken marriage.
CONCLUSION: It is worthy of note that getting married is automatically giving up you pride and freedom to your partner. Don’t ever bow to pressure, neither should you get carried away by the things you see, all that glitters is not gold. Look beyond the beautiful picture, and always look up to God, the author and finisher of our faith for direction

SOURCE: https://siomkpo.

Good points but as I be sports/ football lover....does it mean I shuld quit watching football becox I don marry...eh?

Not for dying minute girls...dem must marry by fire by force...no consideration needed

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Nice one

Kenzico:
Good points but as I be sports/ football lover....does it mean I shuld quit watching football becox I don marry...eh?

No sir, but u'll av to creat time for ur spouse. it's all abt a little adjustment.