₦airaland Forum

U r right but looking at this age of infidelity,Deceit and hypocricy its hard for a man to jst meet a lady 4 a short term courtship,u have to consider their past which may their future harm especially those that imvolves themselves with Abortion hence men will consider the Baby mamaship b4 marraige,talk abt ladies putting on too much make up,its becoming a problem as guys need time to unvail their natural face,talk abt the breastpads,butt pads etc u will realise that ur Number 10 is becoming a fallacy,coz as u said all matured men knows what they want in a woman but what happen if they see what they want and rush into getting it only to realise they have been scammed with a Mask?







And finally comparing this age and that of our forefathers is unfair as at then things were different,only few of the arranged marriage was successful then,and our women then are always natural.(No weeg,makeup,buttpad,breastpad viz a viz)

courtship is a tango of 2, both of them in such relationship must have a clear need and readiness for marriage, in such case, the courtship should be solidified legally in 12 months or thereabout. Well, it can also be devoid of sex, but u should talk objectively about sex.

definitely know that s.ex is important to both involved. Is there any man that wants to end up with a wife so disgusting in bed? Are there women like that? Yes. Is there any man that wants to end up with a woman with stinking ....? Are there women like that? Yes. Is there any woman that wants to spend the rest of her life with a man that can't last more than 30 seconds in bed? Are there men like that? Yes, minute men exist. Is there any woman that wants to stay married to a man that can't even get an e.rection? Are there men like that? Yes. So, I personally believe in digging for facts before getting in so deep. How else can you find the facts out if courting is as terrible as portrayed in this writeup?

All these fears in quote raised by SmartMugu are overrated, in my view all of these problems can start few months or years down the line in the marriage proper, after all the marathon gymnastics at courtship stage.

chinchum:
courtship is a tango of 2, both of them in such relationship must have a clear need and readiness for marriage, in such case, the courtship should be solidified legally in 12 months or thereabout. Well, it can also be devoid of sex, but u should talk objectively about sex.
All these fears in quote raised by SmartMugu are overrated, in my view all of these problems can start few months or years down the line in the marriage proper, after all the marathon gymnastics at courtship stage.

My statements are entirely my views, not necessarily how anyone else sees it.
On the 12 month deadline however, I have never heard of that my whole life.

not getting to know ones spouse before marriage is suicidal. my 2cent.

@OP

I wonder where you guys roll out these JS3 opinions and toss it around as emperical observancies.

First, you are very immature and no where close to taking a wife so hush!! will be more appropriate on issues that you have no idea how it plays out.

In the interest of the ignorant few who may likely take you seriously this is what reality keeps on the table.

You hinged your idea of courtship on sex alone, that is very naive and to believe a man sees a lady on the road and decide to marry her only plays out in nollywood.

courtship is a fact finding mission, what you will find depends on where you are looking. Like you erroneously said that it is no guarantee for marriage with your Angel and demon illustration, well, what I can tell you for a fact is that most men & women dont know what to look for let alone where to look for it, when they fail, they tell people like you that they thought the individual wasn't what he or she thought, when in reality the signs were everywhere but he simply chose to ignore it or too dumb to realize it as a red flag.

Another area you fumbled big time was when you likened our society with that of our parents, my advise for you is this; " He who refuses to change with changing circumstances end up a social pariah"

How many ladies flount their sugar daddies in the social media during the days of our fathers?
How many ladies abort pregnancies monthly in the days of our fathers?
How many ladies have acquintances for every need of theirs in the days of our fathers ?
How many ladies push their careers with bottom power during the era of our fathers?
How many ladies sleep with married men unconscionable during the days of our fathers? .
My people say that a prostitute hardly knows that Adultery is an abomination, once it is registered in an individual's sub conscious, the red flag is always there.

How many men involve themselves in occultism to make money in the days of our fathers?
How many men earn their living in irresponsible mannerism during the days of our fathers? kidnapping? drugs etc

The life and history of every individual you dont know is a Pandoras box, your duty in courtship is to design workable startegies to decipher whether or not it meets your moral standard.

I attended a marriage occasion sometime and the guy has lost several members of his family mysteriously, I asked the gal who happen to be an associate at the time, if she has any idea what is killing them, she was shocked that I knew the guy had such a problem. She had no idea why they were dying like that and as usual committed the situation in the hands of Oluwa

Honestly nobody told me, looking carefully at the entrance of the compound lay several visible marks of removed obituary posters, it still looked fresh, meanwhile the guy lied to her (or she lied to me) that the last death was several years ago.

November 12th will mark her 2nd yr as a widow after just 1yr in marriage, isn't that red flag enough for a sane person to take a decision?

What was she told about the situation and how much did she do to find out what was going on?

It is only an extremely dumb person will think that courtship is about sex alone.

God bless you for this,gracias!
Wish I could take back all the wasted years*sighs* but God says I'll restore to you,all the wasted years. The years the caterpillare,cankerworm has eaten. They make you feel like you're so desperate to settle dwn. But for God sake a man shdnt jus see u as a sex pot to eat frm,be filled and walk away. And dats why I tend to see all of dem dat way. And yes pple will com and talk now and say someone is playing hard to get,by d time u agree to every tom dick and harry,one must hav slept wit half d worlds population! Lol
A man who needs a woman in his life for the keeps,won't waste time telling you,I don't want all dis trial and error again jo,lol

Toks2008:
When a man shows interest in a lady and tells her that he would love to know her better,most times in his heart this is exactly what he is saying: "Hi lady, can i get to have a taste of your goody-bag and have the feel of your body to know if you are good enough in bed and decide if i should keep you for long or dump your ass in a jiffy because i don't really care whether we end up together or not".

I honestly don't believe in dating and even as courtship sounds more reasonable,it is still not really necessary and i will try to list logical reasons why ladies should avoid this lie from the pits of hell called dating or courtship and i hope you learn a great deal from this.


1. A man usually knows if there is a huge possibility of marrying you or just want to use you to pass time the very first day he sets his eyes on you and a man who is really interested in a purposeful affair with you will give you the sign almost immediately with the body language except you refuse to be vigilant.

2. Many Men use dating and courtship as a means of exploring you sexually and probably after he realizes that your bosoms are not as firm as he wants them to be or your sex performance is below what he wants or after he has really used you to his satisfaction then he tells you it can't work out because his mum does not want him to marry from your tribe or just brings up any lame excuse and decides to walk away to get another lady to "date"

3. An Angel can turn to a demon: Many people have argued that dating period is a period where you will know the type of person you have but this assertion is very funny because a good person can turn terrible and most times even if the person seems bad many ladies will still go on and marry him with the hope of changing him.

4.Dating and courtship is a disguised miniature marriage because in many cases when a guy starts dating or courting you,you will be doing some stuffs that wives do and i keep wondering why they still see the union as dating or courting when he is practically having all the benefits he should get from a wife hence the need to continue dating and courting and dating and.. until you suddenly realized you have spent your honey years married unofficially to a man who will probably dump you to marry another lady still in the name of dating.

5.A thousand years of courtship is no guaranty that you will know the man and until you two stay under the same roof as man and wife,you will never come closer to knowing who he really is so why waste your years dating and courting.

6.Most of the marriages of our parents are great examples as most of our parents hardly knew each other before getting married yet many of them had a lasting and loving union but these days despite the celebrated dating and courting culture,many marriages hit the rock.

7.A good union is not hinged on the number of years both of you spend sleeping with each other in the name of dating or courtship but its in learning to love whoever you choose to marry and making up your mind to be with him against all odds.

8. I believe that for a man to ever propose an affair to you then he must have found you good enough to have to himself and for a decent lady to agree to an affair with a man then she is definitely ready to be with the man except she is a slut so why waste time fooling around with each other all in the name of getting to sleep with each other in the name of dating and courtship?

9. A sexless date or courtship is the ideal form of courting where both of you try to know just a peripheral detail about yourselves hence once sex comes in then its no longer dating but unofficial marital union.

10.The responsible and matured guys at heart knows the type of woman they want and do not get involved in baseless dating but simply go for the lady of their choice and marry her.

If you are not ready to marry a lady,don't make advances towards her just to waste her years sampling her and if you are a lady,stop fooling yourself thinking you are dating him whereas you are just giving him your body to be used and probably dumped and understand that dating and courtship are just facade from the pits of hell aimed at destroying the lives of ladies by becoming single unmarried mothers,losing their lives through abortions and many have contracted deadly diseases all in the name of dating.

Lets face it,a year of sexless courtship should be enough and one year is not too much to deprive yourself of sex in order to know that guy better and if a man does not start the process of marrying you within a year then it means you are either dating a small boy for the sake of having sex or you are probably with a man who is not sure he wants you.

I know that all the sermons in the world will not bring sanity to the facade of dating and courtship and if any lady sees this piece and shoves it aside,my advice to such is to continue to serve herself on the alter of sexual ecstasy for as many guys as possible in the name of baseless dating or courtship

My humble opinion and i hope this helps.

She may need time to know if she can marry him. Everything you wrote here is with respect to the guy. And by the way, when will you people stop using 'our parents' as examples? Do you really like 'our parents' marriages? Most of 'our parents' had long courtships by the way.

udysweet:
God bless you for this,gracias!
Wish I could take back all the wasted years*sighs* but God says I'll restore to you,all the wasted years. The years the caterpillare,cankerworm has eaten. They make you feel like you're so desperate to settle dwn. But for God sake a man shdnt jus see u as a sex pot to eat frm,be filled and walk away. And dats why I tend to see all of dem dat way. And yes pple will com and talk now and say someone is playing hard to get,by d time u agree to every tom dick and harry,one must hav slept wit half d worlds population! Lol
A man who needs a woman in his life for the keeps,won't waste time telling you,I don't want all dis trial and error again jo,lol

See them, now they are wising up and turning to God.

SmartMugu:
My statements are entirely my views, not necessarily how anyone else sees it.
On the 12 month deadline however, I have never heard of that my whole life.

yes, they are your views. I am quite sure, you understand we are all entitled to having a view, it is also important you subject your views to the test of logic nevertheless.

jpphilips:
@OP

I wonder where you guys roll out these JS3 opinions and toss it around as emperical observancies.

First, you are very immature and no where close to taking a wife so hush!! will be more appropriate on issues that you have no idea how it plays out.

In the interest of the ignorant few who may likely take you seriously this is what reality keeps on the table.

You hinged your idea of courtship on sex alone, that is very naive and to believe a man sees a lady on the road and decide to marry her only plays out in nollywood.

courtship is a fact finding mission, what you will find depends on where you are looking. Like you erroneously said that it is no guarantee for marriage with your Angel and demon illustration, well, what I can tell you for a fact is that most men & women dont know what to look for let alone where to look for it, when they fail, they tell people like you that they thought the individual wasn't what he or she thought, when in reality the signs were everywhere but he simply chose to ignore it or too dumb to realize it as a red flag.

Another area you fumbled big time was when you likened our society with that of our parents, my advise for you is this; " He who refuses to change with changing circumstances end up a social pariah"

How many ladies flount their sugar daddies in the social media during the days of our fathers?
How many ladies abort pregnancies monthly in the days of our fathers?
How many ladies have acquintances for every need of theirs in the days of our fathers ?
How many ladies push their careers with bottom power during the era of our fathers?
How many ladies sleep with married men unconscionable during the days of our fathers? .
My people say that a prostitute hardly knows that Adultery is an abomination, once it is registered in an individual's sub conscious, the red flag is always there.

How many men involve themselves in occultism to make money in the days of our fathers?
How many men earn their living in irresponsible mannerism during the days of our fathers? kidnapping? drugs etc

The life and history of every individual you dont know is a Pandoras box, your duty in courtship is to design workable startegies to decipher whether or not it meets your moral standard.

I attended a marriage occasion sometime and the guy has lost several members of his family mysteriously, I asked the gal who happen to be an associate at the time, if she has any idea what is killing them, she was shocked that I knew the guy had such a problem. She had no idea why they were dying like that and as usual committed the situation in the hands of Oluwa

Honestly nobody told me, looking carefully at the entrance of the compound lay several visible marks of removed obituary posters, it still looked fresh, meanwhile the guy lied to her (or she lied to me) that the last death was several years ago.

November 12th will mark her 2nd yr as a widow after just 1yr in marriage, isn't that red flag enough for a sane person to take a decision?

What was she told about the situation and how much did she do to find out what was going on?

It is only an extremely dumb person will think that courtship is about sex alone.

Thank you for this. This is the only reasonable comment here.

Errrm op you're absolutely right. Will they ever learn?? No! So I guess we should leave things the way they are. They are explorers so therefore let them explore until they open their eyes.

chinchum:
yes, they are your views. I am quite sure, you understand we are all entitled to having a view, it is also important you subject your views to the test of logic nevertheless.

Pls elaborate on ur points.

Can you just stop,I beg you? You don't know half the story,please I beg you! And leave God out of this matter,I never turned to Him when I have issues. He's always been wit me ok. Now you don't know half the story,don't come and judge me. What's with people attacking others ,is it just for the fun? Please if I made a mistake commenting here,forgive me. When you let stuff out ur chest,u feel better.
Have a great day sir

Ojemedad:
See them, now they are wising up and turning to God.

jpphilips:
@OP

I wonder where you guys roll out these JS3 opinions and toss it around as emperical observancies.

First, you are very immature and no where close to taking a wife so hush!! will be more appropriate on issues that you have no idea how it plays out.

In the interest of the ignorant few who may likely take you seriously this is what reality keeps on the table.

You hinged your idea of courtship on sex alone, that is very naive and to believe a man sees a lady on the road and decide to marry her only plays out in nollywood.

courtship is a fact finding mission, what you will find depends on where you are looking. Like you erroneously said that it is no guarantee for marriage with your Angel and demon illustration, well, what I can tell you for a fact is that most men & women dont know what to look for let alone where to look for it, when they fail, they tell people like you that they thought the individual wasn't what he or she thought, when in reality the signs were everywhere but he simply chose to ignore it or too dumb to realize it as a red flag.

Another area you fumbled big time was when you likened our society with that of our parents, my advise for you is this; " He who refuses to change with changing circumstances end up a social pariah"

How many ladies flount their sugar daddies in the social media during the days of our fathers?
How many ladies abort pregnancies monthly in the days of our fathers?
How many ladies have acquintances for every need of theirs in the days of our fathers ?
How many ladies push their careers with bottom power during the era of our fathers?
How many ladies sleep with married men unconscionable during the days of our fathers? .
My people say that a prostitute hardly knows that Adultery is an abomination, once it is registered in an individual's sub conscious, the red flag is always there.

How many men involve themselves in occultism to make money in the days of our fathers?
How many men earn their living in irresponsible mannerism during the days of our fathers? kidnapping? drugs etc

The life and history of every individual you dont know is a Pandoras box, your duty in courtship is to design workable startegies to decipher whether or not it meets your moral standard.

I attended a marriage occasion sometime and the guy has lost several members of his family mysteriously, I asked the gal who happen to be an associate at the time, if she has any idea what is killing them, she was shocked that I knew the guy had such a problem. She had no idea why they were dying like that and as usual committed the situation in the hands of Oluwa

Honestly nobody told me, looking carefully at the entrance of the compound lay several visible marks of removed obituary posters, it still looked fresh, meanwhile the guy lied to her (or she lied to me) that the last death was several years ago.

November 12th will mark her 2nd yr as a widow after just 1yr in marriage, isn't that red flag enough for a sane person to take a decision?

What was she told about the situation and how much did she do to find out what was going on?

It is only an extremely dumb person will think that courtship is about sex alone.

I like the JSS 3 part of your response. Some folks here are really immature and just assume everyone's mindset is as limited as theirs.

Toks2008:
When a man shows interest in a lady and tells her that he would love to know her better,most times in his heart this is exactly what he is saying: "Hi lady, can i get to have a taste of your goody-bag and have the feel of your body to know if you are good enough in bed and decide if i should keep you for long or dump your ass in a jiffy because i don't really care whether we end up together or not".

I honestly don't believe in dating and even as courtship sounds more reasonable,it is still not really necessary and i will try to list logical reasons why ladies should avoid this lie from the pits of hell called dating or courtship and i hope you learn a great deal from this.


1. A man usually knows if there is a huge possibility of marrying you or just want to use you to pass time the very first day he sets his eyes on you and a man who is really interested in a purposeful affair with you will give you the sign almost immediately with the body language except you refuse to be vigilant.

2. Many Men use dating and courtship as a means of exploring you sexually and probably after he realizes that your bosoms are not as firm as he wants them to be or your sex performance is below what he wants or after he has really used you to his satisfaction then he tells you it can't work out because his mum does not want him to marry from your tribe or just brings up any lame excuse and decides to walk away to get another lady to "date"

3. An Angel can turn to a demon: Many people have argued that dating period is a period where you will know the type of person you have but this assertion is very funny because a good person can turn terrible and most times even if the person seems bad many ladies will still go on and marry him with the hope of changing him.

4.Dating and courtship is a disguised miniature marriage because in many cases when a guy starts dating or courting you,you will be doing some stuffs that wives do and i keep wondering why they still see the union as dating or courting when he is practically having all the benefits he should get from a wife hence the need to continue dating and courting and dating and.. until you suddenly realized you have spent your honey years married unofficially to a man who will probably dump you to marry another lady still in the name of dating.

5.A thousand years of courtship is no guaranty that you will know the man and until you two stay under the same roof as man and wife,you will never come closer to knowing who he really is so why waste your years dating and courting.

6.Most of the marriages of our parents are great examples as most of our parents hardly knew each other before getting married yet many of them had a lasting and loving union but these days despite the celebrated dating and courting culture,many marriages hit the rock.

7.A good union is not hinged on the number of years both of you spend sleeping with each other in the name of dating or courtship but its in learning to love whoever you choose to marry and making up your mind to be with him against all odds.

8. I believe that for a man to ever propose an affair to you then he must have found you good enough to have to himself and for a decent lady to agree to an affair with a man then she is definitely ready to be with the man except she is a slut so why waste time fooling around with each other all in the name of getting to sleep with each other in the name of dating and courtship?

9. A sexless date or courtship is the ideal form of courting where both of you try to know just a peripheral detail about yourselves hence once sex comes in then its no longer dating but unofficial marital union.

10.The responsible and matured guys at heart knows the type of woman they want and do not get involved in baseless dating but simply go for the lady of their choice and marry her.

If you are not ready to marry a lady,don't make advances towards her just to waste her years sampling her and if you are a lady,stop fooling yourself thinking you are dating him whereas you are just giving him your body to be used and probably dumped and understand that dating and courtship are just facade from the pits of hell aimed at destroying the lives of ladies by becoming single unmarried mothers,losing their lives through abortions and many have contracted deadly diseases all in the name of dating.

Lets face it,a year of sexless courtship should be enough and one year is not too much to deprive yourself of sex in order to know that guy better and if a man does not start the process of marrying you within a year then it means you are either dating a small boy for the sake of having sex or you are probably with a man who is not sure he wants you.

I know that all the sermons in the world will not bring sanity to the facade of dating and courtship and if any lady sees this piece and shoves it aside,my advice to such is to continue to serve herself on the alter of sexual ecstasy for as many guys as possible in the name of baseless dating or courtship

My humble opinion and i hope this helps.

You are talking rubbish ok. Have you not seen a case were a woman after accepting to marry a man and having been sponsored by the man to acquire education ended up dumping the man? Are you a big foool or twerp? Was there a time a man is making love to a woman putting on suit and the woman stays naked?? Are women not enjoying sex even more than Are women not using men?? Whats all this silly talk of a man using woman to satisfy his sexual urge are women not satisfied sexually?? Dont women have sexual urge how do they satisfy their urge Have you not hard of women who rape men Am sorry for all this man woman who claims to be man. For me i must define my friendship if i meet a new woman. Lady i want to date you and if you must receive from me you have to play along with me because am not a maga nor father christmas. Every relationship must not end in marriage simple. So girls stop this your he use and dump me. He had sex with me and left me. Did you not have sex with him? Was he not naked when you were making love?? Two of you used each other so stop the discrimination. I do not support rape and willl not support rape.

Op..My Silent Advice..


Get a more engaging job..Cos ur writeup tho cool..Unfortunately aint rily applicable in the lives and mentality of Men and ladies of Nowadays..Virgins nd non sexually active people may find it interesting tho..TIMES HAVE CHANGED BABA!! No sex 4 One year my ass. Preach that to the tortoise in mY Granpa's compound.

this is crap

and most guys will tell u they cant do without sex in a relationship.Once u tell them u want a sexless relationship,the next question that pops up os 'Are u a virgin'?.And I just wonder y cant one have a sexless relationship if one aint a virgin.

Jhenny:
d first,second posters above. Which network una dey use. You guys submitted at d same time as d op. D hustle is real

When people or group of person's are jobless they engage is unprofitable hustle only for the owner of this forum making the real money

jesussaves22:
You are talking rubbish ok. Have you not seen a case were a woman after accepting to marry a man and having been sponsored by the man to acquire education ended up dumping the man? Are you a big foool or twerp? Was there a time a man is making love to a woman putting on suit and the woman stays naked?? Are women not enjoying sex even more than Are women not using men?? Whats all this silly talk of a man using woman to satisfy his sexual urge are women not satisfied sexually?? Dont women have sexual urge how do they satisfy their urge Have you not hard of women who rape men Am sorry for all this man woman who claims to be man. For me i must define my friendship if i meet a new woman. Lady i want to date you and if you must receive from me you have to play along with me because am not a maga nor father christmas. Every relationship must not end in marriage simple. So girls stop this your he use and dump me. He had sex with me and left me. Did you not have sex with him? Was he not naked when you were making love?? Two of you used each other so stop the discrimination. I do not support rape and willl not support rape.

Let me ask you this question,if I lady says she isnt interested in whatever money you have to offer her,will you agree not to have sex with her for the duration of your relationship?

@op, it seems some 1 has used and dump either ur younger sister, elder sister. Or your close family member, cos u seems to be hurt with dis sex issue. Wise up bro! and stop supporting dis ladies. THIS GURLS AINT LOYAL. As for me( NA ONLY ONE EYE I DEY CLOSE WHEN I SLEEP)

Toootallly Seconded!! Bros I taya 4 all these shemales posting their blind thoughts on this forum just 2 get stewpid attention..THE POINT IS CLEAR!! As far as its not a case of Rape. Then nobody used anybody! HE FECKEd HER and SHE FECKED HIM 2! Gaskia!..He saw her Buubs nd she saw his PIPE 2..Simple.

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Youngpo413:
yeah,most ladies deserves to be choped and clean mouth.

I agree like your mother and sisters.

MzNelly:
I was expecting to see concrete points

All I saw was "He will sleep with you and get tired" "He will sleep with you and get tired"
Can't she sleep with him and get tired too?

He even called a woman who engages in such a "slut."

Smh.

No lady will never will ever get tired as long as you promised her marriage,she will even spread her legs wider,I don't blame sha,husband scarcity is the cause.

Freemanan:
Easy lioness. I just wanted to get her clearly... No need for the claws.

the claws got me cracking... lol

[/size][size=8pt]tell them.

udysweet:
God bless you for this,gracias!
Wish I could take back all the wasted years*sighs* but God says I'll restore to you,all the wasted years. The years the caterpillare,cankerworm has eaten. They make you feel like you're so desperate to settle dwn. But for God sake a man shdnt jus see u as a sex pot to eat frm,be filled and walk away. And dats why I tend to see all of dem dat way. And yes pple will com and talk now and say someone is playing hard to get,by d time u agree to every tom dick and harry,one must hav slept wit half d worlds population! Lol
A man who needs a woman in his life for the keeps,won't waste time telling you,I don't want all dis trial and error again jo,lol

Correct talk sis.

ladyF:
Interesting....let's hope ladies will learn to move on when they see that the relationship isn't heading anywhere instead of hoping for change.

Its [size=20pt]LadyF[/size] again

Please dear
I have two QUESTIONS for you

1- how do you always manage to be FTC?
2- I never be FTC before o since 2009.. Do SEUN pay any any specific amount to FTC candidates..?

Deepfreezer:
not getting to know ones spouse before marriage is suicidal. my 2cent.

Very suicidal! Courtship is sine-qua -non, prior to marriage. The question is, for how long? Long courtship should be avoided.