Hybrid01:
.
Seriously dude which are you against-PREMARITAL SEX OR LONG TIME COURTSHIP- because am starting to get it wrong and most people are and that is why you can see contrasting comments

Long courtship ofcourse

Whats my business preaching no sex before marriage as if that will stop it.

My point is if every lady wants to know if that guy is really interested in just knowing her in the so called long courtship let her deny him sex and see if he will maintain a status quo.

Most Guys who are against my write up are either players or unserious because any serious minded guy will understand that long courtship are for players while men who know what they want dont waste time.

With the bunch of ladies out there now 10 yrs courtship is not enough to ascertain whether to marry or not.

Okay sir

My dear ops,
To my own point of view, I will like to say d idea u are trying to initiate should b determine base on personal interest, let me tell u one thing unless u don't wanna b real bout it. U can't compare the way men think with the way women think, both work in an opposite direction.
When male sight a lady for d first time what will first signal his brain is/was something related to SEX , b4 any other thing can b think of, that is how God made us even same thing applicable those forming saint.( that's y Muslim use to say it's allow to sight female once, but that moment u revisit ur eyes toward her direction, its become SIN. so they prefer to allow their female body to be cover not to allow such thing).
Now let that to the matter, I want u to use my story to judge ur post( I swear to Almighty Allah I'm telling u a true story that happen to me).

I have/had one girl that we av been dating since my SS2 days, tho we use to see each other once in awhile cos my school is a boarding school & after secondary school. I got an admission same year, but she was still at home tho she use to travel & come back. Anytime I'm at home I use to go 2 her mummy shop & she use to come to my house too. During that time I knew what sex mean but I use to afraid of telling her something related to that cos I'm afraid she won't like d idea & also she will look cheap to me. So I dont bother her about it.
If she ask me anything, I use try my possible best to get it for her even it's my last penny. But one thing I use to notice is that she use to call & received call like MTNhelp centre. On one faithful day she told me that her mum sent her an errand and she want to call that person b4 going there. that day both of us don't av credit,so we stroll to one phone booth to make call, to my notice the number of person she want to call is/was on that person phone, save with one particular name, to me I don't care about it. she made d call and she said the person is at home. so I paid for call charges then I gave her TP money for tro&fro. so I told her that I will wait 4 her at that phonebooth, & she agreed.
So after some moment, d guy ask me do u know that girl?, if u know her my guy sharpaly nack her ooo coz
d girl nah pussy philanthropist, she use to dash her pussy anyhow. Even d person wey she call now nah one her guy & he mention d guy name to me and describe him, funny enough d guy is one of my friend.

After some hours I called her that it's already late I'm still waiting coz d guy av close his shop, she told me to go home that she will come to my house next day.
Next day when she will came to my house, I didn't ask her anything or showing it to her that I knew something bout her. I just stay cool and face my life, so after some moment I kiss her then we started romancing which I quickly unhook her bra & started playing with her Breast (and that is my first time of seen d colour of her bra), so after some times. she ask me if I av any blue film on my laptop and I said no, after hearing this she feel somehow. But I grab her back and started my thing, so I'm about to put off her pant, my conscience now doing me somehow somehow after some moment I just stood up & told her to dress up and she do so then we went out.
After 3 days she told me that, she want to travel, since then we have not see each other, not untill I saw her introduction marriage picture on Facebook. Now she's bless with a daughter.

Toks2008:
When a man shows interest in a lady and tells her that he would love to know her better,most times in his heart this is exactly what he is saying: "Hi lady, can i get to have a taste of your goody-bag and have the feel of your body to know if you are good enough in bed and decide if i should keep you for long or dump your ass in a jiffy because i don't really care whether we end up together or not".

I honestly don't believe in dating and even as courtship sounds more reasonable,it is still not really necessary and i will try to list logical reasons why ladies should avoid this lie from the pits of hell called dating or courtship and i hope you learn a great deal from this.


1. A man usually knows if there is a huge possibility of marrying you or just want to use you to pass time the very first day he sets his eyes on you and a man who is really interested in a purposeful affair with you will give you the sign almost immediately with the body language except you refuse to be vigilant.

2. Many Men use dating and courtship as a means of exploring you sexually and probably after he realizes that your bosoms are not as firm as he wants them to be or your sex performance is below what he wants or after he has really used you to his satisfaction then he tells you it can't work out because his mum does not want him to marry from your tribe or just brings up any lame excuse and decides to walk away to get another lady to "date"

3. An Angel can turn to a demon: Many people have argued that dating period is a period where you will know the type of person you have but this assertion is very funny because a good person can turn terrible and most times even if the person seems bad many ladies will still go on and marry him with the hope of changing him.

4.Dating and courtship is a disguised miniature marriage because in many cases when a guy starts dating or courting you,you will be doing some stuffs that wives do and i keep wondering why they still see the union as dating or courting when he is practically having all the benefits he should get from a wife hence the need to continue dating and courting and dating and.. until you suddenly realized you have spent your honey years married unofficially to a man who will probably dump you to marry another lady still in the name of dating.

5.A thousand years of courtship is no guaranty that you will know the man and until you two stay under the same roof as man and wife,you will never come closer to knowing who he really is so why waste your years dating and courting.

6.Most of the marriages of our parents are great examples as most of our parents hardly knew each other before getting married yet many of them had a lasting and loving union but these days despite the celebrated dating and courting culture,many marriages hit the rock.

7.A good union is not hinged on the number of years both of you spend sleeping with each other in the name of dating or courtship but its in learning to love whoever you choose to marry and making up your mind to be with him against all odds.

8. I believe that for a man to ever propose an affair to you then he must have found you good enough to have to himself and for a decent lady to agree to an affair with a man then she is definitely ready to be with the man except she is a slut so why waste time fooling around with each other all in the name of getting to sleep with each other in the name of dating and courtship?

9. A sexless date or courtship is the ideal form of courting where both of you try to know just a peripheral detail about yourselves hence once sex comes in then its no longer dating but unofficial marital union.

10.The responsible and matured guys at heart knows the type of woman they want and do not get involved in baseless dating but simply go for the lady of their choice and marry her.

If you are not ready to marry a lady,don't make advances towards her just to waste her years sampling her and if you are a lady,stop fooling yourself thinking you are dating him whereas you are just giving him your body to be used and probably dumped and understand that dating and courtship are just facade from the pits of hell aimed at destroying the lives of ladies by becoming single unmarried mothers,losing their lives through abortions and many have contracted deadly diseases all in the name of dating.

Lets face it,a year of sexless courtship should be enough and one year is not too much to deprive yourself of sex in order to know that guy better and if a man does not start the process of marrying you within a year then it means you are either dating a small boy for the sake of having sex or you are probably with a man who is not sure he wants you.

I know that all the sermons in the world will not bring sanity to the facade of dating and courtship and if any lady sees this piece and shoves it aside,my advice to such is to continue to serve herself on the alter of sexual ecstasy for as many guys as possible in the name of baseless dating or courtship

My humble opinion and i hope this helps.

Nice one, it shows you love your sisters and you'll make a perfect father to a lucky girl one day. My close friend dated a guy for eight years, I think they met while she was still in secondary school. She gave her whole life to him, but he left her and got married to someone else. She never recovered, looked years older than her actual age due to stress, developed HBP @ a young age, and died shortly after. Any wise lady reading male comments here should be able to discern the plans most of them have for you, beauty without brains is like a pig wearing a nose ring.

possibilita:
BUSTED!!! U r a guy and ur comment jst said it.

LadyF is a man?

cindykaey:
Hmmm good....some ladies can wear that engagement ring for 10yrs...SMH 4dem

dem be lord of the ring ni?

Long courtship is as pointless as P in Psychology. So much to lose than gain anything more than 3 years without knowing where you guys stand is a waste of time.

AreaFada2:


And the ladies, what/who should they emulate?

Fact is dating is a big market for many ladies. Not all dating ladies are ready for marriage just yet.

Some girls NEED multiple-dating to finance their high taste: various guys & sugardaddies for school fees, rent, feeding/maintenance, luxury phones, designer clothes etc.

Some ladies feel they are using men to achieve certain things and are simply not victims.

You are very right.

Pidggin:


Nice one, it shows you love your sisters and you'll make a perfect father to a lucky girl one day. My close friend dated a guy for eight years, I think they met while she was still in secondary school. She gave her whole life to him, but he left her and got married to someone else. She never recovered, looked years older than her actual age due to stress, developed HBP @ a young age, and died shortly after. Any wise lady reading male comments here should be able to discern the plans most of them have for you, beauty without brains is like a pig wearing a nose ring.

GOD HAVE MERCY. And the guy is still alive bleeping another lady as if nothing happened.

Well the irony is that im not writing these to gain admiration or any form of attention from ladies because trust me at 40 i have passed the age of lies,fantasies and wishful thinking.

I have been in the marriage institution and there is always room to learn more but my advice to every lady is to read every thread i created as regards relationship issues and take every letter to heart.

Its a wicked world of men and any lady seconding the contrary assertions of guys towards this thread does so at her own peril.

A guy knows if you are the type he can marry the very first time he sees you and it will do you good to maintain proper decorum and watch him closely.

As i have written, this write up is not about sexually loosed teenagers who are still seeking sexual fantasies but its about a disciplined young lady who does not want to be taking advantaged of. I married the lady i made a woman and even if we are no more,she can never say i wasted her years so reasonable ladies should brace up and don't allow any guy turn you into unofficial wife in the name of courtship but if you want to remain foolish then please ride on.

The sense of humour of a lady got lost the moment she sleep with her guy, especially when you barely know each other. Distrust is inevitable in such marriage.

am actually not shocked that am the only one who doesn't find this post interesting or useful... why i even click this click sef?

jesussaves22:
Yes because that is how i met the girl i want to marry now. She says no sex and i responded ok but no shishi or penny till we marry and she agreed. I only told her to come close to our house so that we can knnow some of our dos and donts. Just recently i found out that she is still a virgin because we both are on ourselves now. We met around may 2013 and we are still togather . Now am planning to marry her. The only thing she requested was for me to assist her in her final year project which i did wuthout bias. So if girls can do what this particular lady did believe me the man and woman relationship will be too sweet.

Wish all guys would be like that.But for d duration of time u guys dated u guys dint touch each other?How were u releasing your sexual urges?

Pidggin:


Nice one, it shows you love your sisters and you'll make a perfect father to a lucky girl one day. My close friend dated a guy for eight years, I think they met while she was still in secondary school. She gave her whole life to him, but he left her and got married to someone else. She never recovered, looked years older than her actual age due to stress, developed HBP @ a young age, and died shortly after. Any wise lady reading male comments here should be able to discern the plans most of them have for you, beauty without brains is like a pig wearing a nose ring.

which is why i hate long courtship, then again am not sure i can ever be that devotional 100% to someone because of risks like that, what if she dumps me, then again maybe not devoting myself to that person 100% can cause the dumping to take place which could further drive me to not devote myself 100%.

now am confused

omoikea:
am actually not shocked that am the only one who doesn't find this post interesting or useful... why i even click this click sef?

you know what to do

Op..

It's like u live in a different world...long time relationship are not always clouded with sex (because from all I see in your right up, u are definitely up against sex before marriage..and not long time courtship.... don't even try to deny it, it's there all over your write up). So where do u put true love... And this True love could be found when someone it's still in his/her tender age or better still in uni, when one still have a long way to go hence the need for a long time relationship.... I know people like no longer believe in true love....so I won't take any offence if u object.... Marriage within short period is a deadly evil especially when u don't know each other before the period.... Brother get your fact right.... Bless up

jesussaves22:
Yes because that is how i met the girl i want to marry now. She says no sex and i responded ok but no shishi or penny till we marry and she agreed. I only told her to come close to our house so that we can knnow some of our dos and donts. Just recently i found out that she is still a virgin because we both are on ourselves now. We met around may 2013 and we are still togather . Now am planning to marry her. The only thing she requested was for me to assist her in her final year project which i did wuthout bias. So if girls can do what this particular lady did believe me the man and woman relationship will be too sweet.

This is exactly what i ask people.

Show me one man who divorces a wife he disvirgined except she left on her own or she is caught in adultery and i will show you a mentally unstable man.

Sexual chastity is the bedrock of any woman who wants respect and adoration from her man.

Yes remaining a virgin till marriage is no longer in vogue as tyhey say but that is the silent wish of most men,to be the one who disvirgined their wife.

My ex stil remains valuable to me and i still hold her in high esteem despite her funny nature because for me, sexual decency ranks highest in what i seek for in a woman and i can overlook most imperfections of a sexually decent lady.

But when you keep opening your legs in the name of dating and shortly after meeting a guy you open up your legs and he gets in then you need to start praying from that moment that he respects you because to most guys,dating ladies is like a sexual conquest and its a usually a case of one down and many more to go.

So if you must date a man and allow him eat you as he wants at least be more reasonable not to linger for too long because even after marriage many guys believe they cant be with a aldy all their life howbeit you that is not yet his wife,your case wil just be another statistics of his sexcapades.

Ladies hould wise up.

adefund:
I dated n courted with ma woman for 13yrs before we finally got married n we r doin fyn wit our kids, but d point is dat, we started d journey n accumulated of wealth togeda so Datz d kind of lady men r opt for, not just invite one useless lady to eat already cooked soup where she can't even hv saying in d aoz about his spouse wealth... but truly marriage and courtship r not in anyway related to each other. I'm talkin from experiences.

please I'm interested in the emboldened. I like to share from your ocean of experience. Thanks.

udysweet:
Can you just stop,I beg you? You don't know half the story,please I beg you! And leave God out of this matter,I never turned to Him when I have issues. He's always been wit me ok. Now you don't know half the story,don't come and judge me. What's with people attacking others ,is it just for the fun? Please if I made a mistake commenting here,forgive me. When you let stuff out ur chest,u feel better.
Have a great day sir

I'm sorry for that, never meant to judge you or something else, just a comment and I'm sorry the negative thought

SmartMugu:

Sorry? Moniker? What's that

Lol.... Em.. Username.

True talk!!!!



People know the truth, both sexes to be precise but some would rather live in deceit and keep on hoping for the best.

Youngpo413:
No lady will never will ever get tired as long as you promised her marriage,she will even spread her legs wider,I don't blame sha,husband scarcity is the cause.

So once you promise a lady marriage, she spreads her leg for you.

Can you hear yourself?
That made sense to your myopic mind?

Lmfao...

I can see OP is feeling himself.

One word bro... All men are not the same. Every man has a different thing he's looking for in a wife.

udysweet:
God bless you for this,gracias!
Wish I could take back all the wasted years*sighs* but God says I'll restore to you,all the wasted years. The years the caterpillare,cankerworm has eaten. They make you feel like you're so desperate to settle dwn. But for God sake a man shdnt jus see u as a sex pot to eat frm,be filled and walk away. And dats why I tend to see all of dem dat way. And yes pple will com and talk now and say someone is playing hard to get,by d time u agree to every tom dick and harry,one must hav slept wit half d worlds population! Lol
A man who needs a woman in his life for the keeps,won't waste time telling you,I don't want all dis trial and error again jo,lol

Thanks dear.

Sometimes i just want to refrain from writing some deep srticles on nairaland but then i usually tell myself."i love writing so muc so why not just share your insight so that some will learn from it"

Nevertheless many will still castigate and write very annoying stuffs but as i always say,thats the fun.

The fact remains that they usually blame it on finance and i kept wondering why your manhood cant also go flat and not do the thing because a broke guy who is not ready for marriage should not do the things married people do but then this will be seen as a dumb assertion yet the lady wil never think about settling with this same guy in that one room they have been doing what married people do and this shows the role many ladies also play in their own misfortune.

I dated the lady i married for 6years and when she was 25years she wil be ringing it to my ears that she has no time again and that many suitors are after her so i just had to cement it because trust me if not for her cries and the fact that i truly cherish her i will not go ahead to have any form of wedding because i was just cool the way things were,free sex,she cooks for me,does my laundry and infact always with me as we lived close to each other.

How many ladies reading this are already live in lovers? and how many have been dating a guy for years yet the guy is just silent and you are still there because of mumu love.Sorry is your second name.

As long as the guy has a room over his head and he sc*ws you in that room and you also pass nights in that room then let him freaking go to your parents and start the process,let him do introduction and then go to registry and become lawfully wedded then when money starts coming in go and do your super flamboyant wedding and if possible do white,blue gren and purple wedding join.

The fact that a man does not have money yet for a wedding ceremony does not mean he is not ready for a wedding because marital union is different from marriage ceremony. She who has eyes should read and take action or continue to be free wife in teh name of courtship.

You are on your own.

bros ur number 7 and 10 summarizes everything if ladies only understand they won't be falling into the hands of irresponsible guyz

IamLEGEND1:
i no gree with this thing lailai.

diz days wey we get

Padded bras,

Push-up bras

butt enhancers

hips enlarger

and even stomach clencher sef dey.

why i no go sample wetin i go carry keep for my house for the rest of my life.....

na only wen u do the needful,wen all d makeup don clean finish,the weave-on don scatter-scatter.........but most importantly,the auxillary "enhancers" no dey.


na him u go no d true colour(literally) of the person.

Simple.

Toks2008:


Oh thanks bro. I was actually expecting a backlash from guys because this looks like a show spoiiler lol.

Actual your post is very foolish,no offense. This is 2015. Women like sex, so some of them use and dumb guys even if the guy wants to get married to them. Your post makes it looks like the decision of marriage rest solely on the guys and like men are the only ones interested in sex. Back date your post to 1960.

babafemi1000:


LadyF is a man?

read her comment she said "if the ladies" no lady would use that insted they wud use"if we ladies"or "if my fellow ladies"

Bla bla bla and s3x is what i could deduce from this write up and thank heavens its just your opinion because the reality out there is much different

Men look for different things in ladies and vice-versa, no two persons are the same so are our wants and needs and the comparison to what our grandparents did or didn't do in your write up further faults your write up


Yea you did make some "strong" points but on summary, its all just bla bla bla why? Well because no one person knows it all when it comes to courtship and dating e.t.c different strokes for different folks

Do what you feel comfortable in your skin doing be it a half month courtship or a 9yr courtship, we all heading to the same destination but taking different routes, the one you take might spoil my car while mine might not

loswhite:
Actual your post is very foolish,no offense. This is 2015. Women like sex, so some of them use and dumb guys even if the guy wants to get married to them. Your post makes it looks like the decision of marriage rest solely on the guys and like men are the only ones interested in sex. Back date your post to 1960.

Exactly the op writes stuff that are at a loss with current realities of life

MzNelly:


So once you promise a lady marriage, she spreads her leg for you.

Can you hear yourself?
That made sense to your myopic mind?

Well, she could spread her leg for a nice shave; couldn't she?