₦airaland Forum

So many poorly-trained and uncultured women in Nigeria today. You people think it's a virtue to make the rules as you go along? *spits*

tivta:
Is that so? So until it leads to murder he should mind his business abi? Haven't you heard a stich in time saves nine? It is people like you that unfortunately go through hard times just because you refused to help a soul, blessed is the peace maker...
Never ever say it's not his business cause he is family. Just imagine is Jesus didn't help us because it is not his business? You have a lot to learn about life...

Thanks Mr know it all, I believe I have a lot to learn. But the one I know is that a nuclear family is made up of father mother n children, these are the people that have maximum priority to each other. The man in question never complained about the girl that bore him a child, so why should a cousin of his, gossip with his mom to instigate a seed of hatred or coup because of her laxity. Why not call the girl in question and talk to her to change her ways, if she doesn't she can stay on her own after all she's a mother too. Time will heal their misunderstanding when the family has minimal interference in her home. Why do u support a child to bear the pain of growing in a broken home. Dude, u need to relearn if u are yet to understand what life is all about. Bye

Kimoni:
why 1999?

I think cos the millennium usher in another set of rule for things like that

EggovinMma:
well, I don't support these at all.Owing to the fact that her husband to be is abroad, she should do her best for her mother in law.The question I want to ask here is this, What if it is her own mother? What's there to cook once in a while? Or buy a washing machine? or at best employ a village maid that can help for some time?


Abeg the lady na lazy woman jare! Mtchewwww!

I dey shake for body ooo, e b like say make I cry. Na men put this kind women for house o. OMG!

See the kind of response from supposed women that will become MIL.

This is why I am very picky when it comes to women. Your body language and the kind of words that comes out of your mouth are my lab test.

You and freecocoa no dey ever disappoint! May God bless your home and your mothers.

Oh God! Our society is finished oooooooo

freecocoa:
You did read that the DIL didn't even as little as call? I'm not asking her to go do chores but c'mon, there are somethings that just come to you natural if you are humane.

one sided story if u will ask me. Here's nairaland people are spicing their stories n looking for comments that will encourage them carry on their hatched plan

goldenruby:
This girl is still weak to start a business as your aunt said earlier, why is she worried or 'bittered' that she can't help her cook, wash and bla bla. @Op I totally understand your point but you're totally Wrong. All these are not in any way a medium to portray ones good or bad act. We all came from different homes.
Make I tell you one weird thing (to people that might see it as) when my Mum comes to my house, She washes my beddings,clothes,fetch water for me from the well if the water tap stops running,run my bath, Make my meals. I no sick o, na just small laziness o(wetin you go Call that one). And she'd jokingly ask me if I can try this at my inlaws when I eventually get married. . Truth is can Y'all stop seeing this babe as 'a plant in the ecosystem' and see her like a daughter?
And you have finalized even before your cousin that she is going! Odikwa risky! As early as 1am, you want to jeopardize a fresh marriage. Oloun wa.
If she has not given anything in return my brother she has given a child! Yes A Child! I know a lot of marriages with a not-so-good woman and the men are only overlooking cos of the CHILD(ren) involved. Why is this then different?
And then you listing out all the guy has done for her. You think say to kpansh easy huh? Abeg my brother help me overlook all her shortcomings and pardon her manners. If she LEAVES, aunty must Waka by force o cos that's double stress for her. Let's allow her enjoy this birthing period it'd soon be over and she no get excuse again. Na God I carry beg you

bae no excuse for laziness. The earlier u realize and start working on that the better

The Girl is a Gold digger period!!!

IBBG:
bae no excuse for laziness. The earlier u realize and start working on that the better

[img]http://media3./media/U6Dc14PPbJ80U/200w.gif[/img]

datYoyo2000:
If my wife to be can't and won't respect my mother,then u gat to go marry someone else.

What?


The poster below me will say more.

emmm..bros, respect or slave? Pls clarify. Thank you

ismart:
you are just saying all this cos you are a woman as well. I know it's not easy cos to give birth.

The things is this girl doesn't show any sign that she cares at all. She lacks completely home maintenance.

apparently u v bluntly refused to see anything good in her.....from ur comments i can deduce you are jux hating the girl for no reason(m not in support of her actions tho). if she aint doing it right y dnt u sit her down and talk to her like a sister as something must be wrong sumwia. do u even care to knw wat transpired btwn her and ur aunt?she might v her reasons cos some mils can frustrate life out of dia dils thereby instilling fear into dia mind.u should knw her own side of d story bfr jumping to conclusions and counting everytn ur cousin buys for her. wat d hell will be ur gain by sending her packing-a trophy? d husband is a cousin of urs....all hell will be let loose if he is ur brother and ur aunt,ur mum. treat her d way u want ur aunt treated. accept her and show her love. and den,stop poking ur nose into other people's marital affairs. u can as well call ur cousin and constructively advice him to get his mum a maid rather dan badmouthing d girl.

I see a lot of slave riders on this thread, its just sad. Op is making it look like they are doing the girl a favor by allowing her marry their brother. You know, humans get really corky when they dont get what they want.

ismart:
I dey shake for body ooo, e b like say make I cry. Na men put this kind women for house o. OMG!

See the kind of response from supposed women that will become MIL.

This is why I am very picky when it comes to women. Your body language and the kind of words that comes out of your mouth are my lab test.

You and freecocoa no dey ever disappoint! May God bless your home and your mothers.

Oh God! Our society is finished oooooooo

The fact remains that nobody is perfect. People come from different backgrounds and upbringing, therefore there must be diversities in character. I know some friends of mine that don't cook, when visited their homes, I couldn't even eat what was passed as food. Now you see where the problem lies.There are some basic domestic training children needs to undergo, male and female kids included.I can't be pompous for my brothers, for whatThem no send me sef, they go to market and cook soup, make garri and eat, because just like my dad, they don't like eating out.


Nobody is above learning. She still remains a daughter that needs guidance. The only reason why I don't like what she did was because she didn't reciprocate for the MIL's kindness. One good turn deserves another.


I think it's best you "plead" with her to help whenever she can to assist her Mil. If she is the kind that is well brought up, she will feel ashamed/ remorse and retrace her footsteps.

afta reading tru the comments of most ladies here. Majority of which are potential daughter in laws if some are not already one, suffice I to say that girls with good manners have gone extinct. if 80 to 90 percent of the ladies commenting on this thread saw nothing wrong with the op's aunty's daughter in law behaviour then we guys need to pray hard to marry a gud woman cos they are a rare gem and an endangered species.
sorry to say this, but I'm rilly ashamed of the ladies that openly endorsed and found a way to rationalise the behaviour of this daughter inlaw. even if d said daughter in law was my sister behaving that way, I know I'll slam her for such a behaviour cos it's an embarrassement to my family.
God knows n God forbid that I support impunity no matter who is involved.
God I beg give me better woman wey go respect my mama well well cos I no how she suffer and the kind sacrifice she don make to help become who I am. at least I know I owe it to her to make her smile and feel proud of me in her old age knowing that she raised a good son.

goldenruby:
[img]http://media3./media/U6Dc14PPbJ80U/200w.gif[/img]

u tink it's fun n wonderful to have ur mom at her age bend down to do some of those tins for you. it shows u're still a kid in adult skin. how on earth will my mom do my laundry for me wen I'm 100 percent fit and healthy. God forbid bad tin. no need to stress the old woman jare.

Timbuktou:
So many poorly-trained and uncultured women in Nigeria today. You people think it's a virtue to make the rules as you go along? *spits*

I tell u. I'm utterly shocked by their response.

IBBG:
u tink it's fun n wonderful to have ur mom at her age bend down to do some of those tins for you. it shows u're still a kid in adult skin. how on earth will my mom do my laundry for me wen I'm 100 percent fit and healthy. God forbid bad tin. no need to stress the old woman jare.

See painment! Yes I am still a happy kid. :Poya go and Mop Lagoon!![img]http://media4./media/1rcAG4njRjhUk/200w.gif[/img]

nawaoo!!! d kinda comments coming from majority of dis gurls de fear me oh... if na so all naija babes de reason, naim be sey guys nor even gats de put marriage for life plan b dhat oh... am shocked,,, nd 4 ol dose guys supporting d babe.. mhnnnn.. ah pity for una. woman go carry una eyes SEE PEPPER!! this thread is such an eye opener.

IBBG:
afta reading tru the comments of most ladies here. Majority of which are potential daughter in laws if some are not already one, suffice I to say that girls with good manners have gone extinct. if 80 to 90 percent of the ladies commenting on this thread saw nothing wrong with the op's aunty's daughter in law behaviour then we guys need to pray hard to marry a gud woman cos they are a rare gem and an endangered species.
sorry to say this, but I'm rilly ashamed of the ladies that openly endorsed and found a way to rationalise the behaviour of this daughter inlaw. even if d said daughter in law was my sister behaving that way, I know I'll slam her for such a behaviour cos it's an embarrassement to my family.
God knows n God forbid that I support impunity no matter who is involved.
God I beg give me better woman we go respect my mama well well cos I no how she suffer and the kind sacrifice she don make to help become who I am. at least I know I owe it to her to make her smile and feel proud of me in her old age knowing that she raised a good son.

My brother, don't pray too hard Biko

There are several babes in the market who want to settle down by fire by force, ready to wash your gateman's clothes sef. They will cook for all members of the extended family without asking. Greetings nko? They will use greeting and smile finish all of una.

But dont say Kimoni did not warn you when her true color comes out sha

goldenruby:
See painment! Bleep off my mention you attention seeking fool

lols, typically. Truth d say is bitter, but no matter how bitter it is, it must be told. I'm not surprised that u're throwing tantrums. in fact I'd be amazed if u didn't. any way sha, ur insult is duly welcomed my dear.

cococandy:
Meanwhile your cousin should get help for his mom instead of expecting a new mom to be available to wait on her hand and foot.
Like you said, she's not strong enough on account of the CS to start a business. How come she's strong enough to do other things?

This one una dey count wetin the man do for am. SMH. Such nosiness. Nawa.

Granted that she should show more compassion and concern but who your cousin chooses to marry is his business and you have no say trying to put asunder between them.
All in all, you sound very derogatory towards the lady.
Na your kind sabi meddle in people's affairs until things become too bad to salvage.
Shebi your next plan is to convince your cousin to break up with her so that that kid becomes fatherless or motherless depending on gets the kid. Will you be the father or the mother when they part ways because of you?

Una mind una business o. Nosy marriage spoiling relatives.

I wish your aunt quick recovery.

Problem wit u girls of her type is that they believe having nothing to do with their husband's family is the best but if she and her have a serious disagreement who would she report him to? If your brother marry a lady who is lady and treat ur mum badly, who you advice ur brother to continue his relationship with her. It would be better for the lady to take care of the aunt because one day she would also get old because whatever you sow you reep. Lastly I will women/ladies to think twice before acting, they should think about the long time result of their action not the short time result.

IBBG:
lols, typically. Truth d say is bitter, but no matter how bitter it is, it must be told. I'm not surprised that u're throwing tantrums. in fact I'd be amazed if u didn't. any way sha, ur insult is duly welcomed my dear.

dude go and sleep and get off my mention![img]http://media2./media/l9Jhzwdi09Ve0/200w.gif[/img]

Kimoni:
My brother, don't pray too hard Biko

There are several babes in the market who want to settle down by fire by force, ready to wash your gateman's clothes sef. They will cook for all members of the extended family without asking. Greetings nko? They will use greeting and smile finish all of una.

But dont say Kimoni did not warn you when her true color comes out sha

This one na double wahala o. God I beg no give me the flash in the pan one o with only fine face but worwor behaviour. I need genuine and authentic one wey the mama raise well.

goldenruby:
dude go and sleep and get off my mention![img]http://media2./media/l9Jhzwdi09Ve0/200w.gif[/img]

hehehehehehehe. SMH

hidee20:
You started with a paragraph that sounds "FEMINIST" but after the "N/B" I just dey .....Thank you for not leading others not yet married astray....

am not a feminist,i just hate it wen I hear most guys& even some women say chores are meant 4 women alone.my aunt& her husband divide their housechores& dats d way it shld b rily.+no hubby shld expct fresh food+washed& ironed clothes 4rm me evriday.technology has made tinz easier.its not my hubby's right 4 me 2 wash his clothes al d tym.il cook his meals& take care of him but der ar sum tinz he should do by Himself,i no b housegirl as per me sef go dey work.i luv politics& football& most tinz/activities dat interest guys so me sef go lyk dey watch dem wit my hubby.life has been made easier wit technology but il definitely b a gud wife& helpmate 2 my hubby

KanwuliaJara:
Meaning what?
To take care of young woman and to take care of A GRUMPY, OOOOOLD WOMAN na de same?

If you dey find "slave" to buy, una nor sabi wia "baby farm" dey?

The girl is smart o!
Never start what you can't finish!

and she was able to act the role of a slave for her right?
one day you will also become that OOOOOLD GRUMPY woman and no one will be around to even take care of you.

She is not smart but lazy and uncouth, just like you princess.
what is wrong with the guy self? men will go on social media and shout there is no one like mom.

only to buy an iPhone for a babe the just met less than 2 years
while their mama when sweat on top them dey use 2000 naira phone

ismart:
Me saying some should tell you that it's not specific. I said between february and March should explain that it was early this year.

I had to do proper revision to when I went to Lagos and came back. It was around that time she put to bed and I was in Lagos in January and came back around February.

Now if it was 4 months, could she have been able to be driving in 4 months? That should tell you I didn't get the date right initially.

She can drive 6weeks after a C-sec.
OP, from your posts you have been very particular about this driving and having a car issue (@least I've read 3 different posts from you that you always referred back to the car) Is that really the problem? Is your cousin not meeting his responsibilities towards his mother? Do you guys feel he's spending too much on the girl? There's really little you can do about that, than to just advice your cousin not to forget to invest his money while taking care of his family.

Naff24:
Wait, do u really have a mother
Do u pray for a lady like you to treat ur mother dis same
Do u ever pray for a happy home

I don't see any big deal in what they expected of this said lady, and am sure if it was her mother she won't dare ignore her a bit.

Well, I can see you are the type that always pray not to meet your mother- in-law alive.. And so shall your daughter-in-law will not meet u alive as well.

NB: ain't cursing you, but it's just a KARMA
You shall definitely reap whatever you sow.. Be it good or bad!!!

God bless u!

jeffucee10:
I dey para as I read all the nonsence wey the girls dey write for here. Nigerian girls wey no get manners, make una no learn how to respect ooo!!!. look we are not Oyibo and will never be like them till thy kingdom come... We are Africans and family is what makes and destroys us. If you cannot show love and respect to your mother in law to be then you will never be a good wife let alone a good mother. what soever you sow that you will reap and the reaping will be in abundance. If you support bad thing then I wish your mother the same behavior. No wonder fake pastors they use una make good money by the time wey una wake up from slumber....

guy me sef para pass u wen I read their comments. gud gals don finish for market. God I beg help us o with wetin I d c.

Na you sabi,all your writeup is full of hatred,why cant you people get a maid for your aunty,its like you dnt know how painful CS is and caring for newborn let with an adult.I dnt like people like you,mind you,you cannot remove her only God can decide if her husband to be should,very bitter man you are.get a maid for your aunty and stop complaining,not easy taking care of a baby particularly if shes doing beastfeeding only,let alone adult.

ismart:
I remember saying having a child for me isn't a guarantee that a woman will remain in my house.

People attacked me without understanding why I made such statement.

Some 4 months ago, my cousin had his first child. My aunt, being the mother in law to be made sure she (daughter in law to be) got the best care. She took care of the daughter in law to be, bathed her grandchild every morning, afternoon and night.

After a month plus, my aunt followed her son to his house and continued with the care for another 1 month plus.

However due to an accident she had in 2012, she had to undergo proper surgery to straighten her leg because after the accident, no surgery was done but just traditional treament which didn't do much as the leg, a few CM above the ankle was bent and you can see the protruding bone.

Being hardworking woman, she did a lot of works with the leg.

I travelled to Lagos and when I returned, I was informed that she was in the hospital. I had to move to her sisters house same day so I can check on her.

On gettting there I saw her on the hospital bed. Few weeks later she was discharged from hospital.

This daughter in law to be was rarely around. When she comes, she would barely spend up to an hour before leaving. She has NEVER washed my aunt's clothes. Through out the 2 months that my aunt was discharged from hospital, the girl NEVER bought anything for my aunt as a mother in law to her. She NEVER stayed to take care of her. Absolutely NOTHING can be accounted for as a gain she contributes to the family system.

My aunt's only daughter died early 2000s and this girl could have easily played that role.

Last time she visited I was told she was around I didn't bother to come out to see her cos I was just to displeased.

While we were away, robber buggled into my aunt's house. This girl came, she couldn't arrange her mother in law's clothes nor sweep the room she occupied when she delivered. The best she could do was brought out her iphone, one my cousin bought, and started taking pictures of the damages and calling my cousin on phone to even magnify and exaggerate what happened.

In that two months I have been the one who would lift my aunt, get her crunches, wash her clothes, follow her to the hospital etc.

Today my aunt finally returned to her home after doctor told her that she can start putting the leg on ground while she walks. She had to call her sister's daughter to come and cook for her. Though I had wanted to do the cooking.


While I was with her in her room. She told me that the daughter in law was feeling pompous. I said to her that I have noticed but wondered why she kept quiet all along. She said she was just taking her time. So I told her what I expected of her daughter in law to be and that this problem had better be nipped in the bud before it's too late. I asked her what if she was quite older than her current age such that she can't move around. We talked more at length and she told me her mind. She also told me that she called the girl and informed her that she has arrived home. The girl didn't even bother to ask about cooking or gave any hint if she would come.

The son is currently out of the country. He bought this girl a car, took her South Africa and Dubai on vacation.

My aunt told me that while I was away at one time, they were making plans for introduction. This girl, though not yet strong cos of child delivery, made a decision to start business. My aunt suggested that wait for you to heal and you know you had this child via CS. She flaired up and I learned earlier she said what right does my aunt have to dictate for her. There was a serious quarel between her and my cousin.

My aunt has resolved that once her son comes back, they will discuss and possibly put a stop to her madness.

I have seen this game played over and over again. A girl brings out her real colours after a child or after marriage. That's why I said to myself, a child isn't a guarantee that a woman will remain in my house but her manners.

This girl in question is completely nothing to write home about...

flokii:
@OP na d kin girls wey dey outsyd now be dat o...

all they want to do is eat, sleep, chat, instagram and spend over 90% of their time on forum sites...
we get dem plenty for here..
they have no manners or knowledge of what marriage entails...

I bin the doubt am but na now I bliv ur comment with wetin majority of d gals don post.

BlissB:
Op no nid for many talk......I nor knw hw e happen o but there should b an extent to which d DIL shows concern n d MIL won't complain....she may not be washing her clothes and all dat,all of ona wen day shout d MIL nids a maid what stops d DIL frm discussing wit her husband to get d MIL a maid,then visits frm time to time and also call like everyday or every 2days to check on her at least her concern will be felt and if d DIL is even busy no time will be taken frm her while she is calling n d rest....some ladies sha on Nl....look at tinz frm d 2 sides of a coin.....nor b to CME Nl con dy talk wetin u nor knw.....she is abt getting married to d man n at d same time his family...nobody is asking her to b a slave....na sense they tk day follow family matter......I will b old one day and I pray neva to treated like dis neither will I treat my future MIL like dis.......who quote me talk nonsense I nor go reply am.....its my opinion say ur own n don't insult me

God bless u well well.