₦airaland Forum

Divorce is no longer such a rare commodity; if he displeases you, dump him and get a new one

You didn't listen to 40 reasons not to Get married before u allowed yourself to be traditionally married!

Anyways, u don enter this one! You either live with it of die of it!

Another option is Pray n Fast that God touches him before it's late!

A successful relationship or marriage has little or nothing to do with love. People are too clouded with love wen courting. Eyes open wen the game starts. Rather to have a successful relationship, you need Understanding, Knowlegde and Wisdom.

My dear sister, you know he has all these problems but you went ahead. I want you to know that God hates DIVORCE. Do not start what you cannot end.

@op ...
I'm sorry for what you going through knowing that you are heavy too gives me heart ache cos this is the time you need your man more than ever.
But permit me to say somethings I noticed whilst reading your post.
Your man came to Uk for post graduate and you two had the marriage agreement to give me papers rit...THAT TO ME IS BUSINESS but perhaps you both were dating at that time and maybe money wasn't involved and you think that was "Love"... Well it could have being love to you but as it is now it wasn't "LOVE" to him.
What you going through is as a result of bling relationship...
That dude's love is questionable, I think he wasn't in love with you but for the sake of papers he played along and now he has got it, he is showing himself...
Op this man you see in your husband is THE REAL HIM..
That man you saw in your boyfriend who perhaps was apologetic, and quite understanding, loving, caring and all was a shadow of the real man.
Your relationship ith your husband isn't defined, and I hope you didn't pressurise him to wifing you because then you might have bought this market with by yourself oo.
I live in the UK, have got friends and I know stuff.
I myself was gonna be a victim of these but then I had to walk out of the relationship painfully and very hurting.
My ex boyfriend was with a girl for that stuff, he tried his best to hide it, but God exposed him, and I confronted it immidiately.
He told me stuffs and gave me hope that all was gonna be well but I saw that girl and I knew that danger looms.
We weighed our options and I saw he wasn't ready to be reasonable and do the rit thing so I took a walk.
For months, up till now I'm still healing from what that break up cost me but it was worth it.
We especially that live here in the UK under this sick System must trade with caution and count out steps thrice before embarking.
We must look before we leap.
For status sake men and babes alike have done stuff that could one way or the other jeopardise their happiness in the future, we shouldn't allow ourself to get caught in the middle.
If it's love, then it's love
If it's paper, then it's paper.
May God help you through this time.
What more can you do now than focus on safe delivery.
#peace

my dear the most important person here now is u and ur unborn baby...forget about him for now and focus all ur energy on YOURSELF.God na boss

What's wrong with some men? Even if you were not raised properly at least you should work on yourself as an adult. Life does not tolerate slothfulness. Life is tough on people who refuse to get their act together. This lady needs to leave this man. He won't change unless he suffers. Men should train themselves to be reliable and self sufficient. Life is not a jamboree.

eherbal:
Madam, Let me Respond By Telling You That What You're Experiencing Is The Dark Cloud That Spells Every Marriage. Like All Dark Clouds It Will Pass. You Don't Sound Like A Praying Person. With That Attribute Absent In Your Life, You're In A State Of Tabula Rasa. A State Of Void And Emptiness .Fill In That Deficit With Prayers.
I Went Through Far Worst With My Wife. Alihamdulillah, It's All A Different Ball Game Now. Whatever Problem We're All Going Thru, Let's Deal With It Spiritually,Before Physically. Take A Cue Gurl. PRAY!. God Bless Your Home And Unborn Child .Amen

Are you a clown? Why capitalizing every first letter in each word

1). This your story is for the god!

2). You re traditionally married to the lazy man!

3). It is your cross! You either carry it or dump it n go!

The last point means that it's best u run away from what might kill than staying there because u are pregnant! That unborn child needs you more than your husband!

U spent 5yrs dating him and u coudnt see him displaying such nonchalant attitudes? Perhaps u were blinded by "he will change" notion. A belived which u feigned for yourself

Captainswag225:
hmm, yeah. It could be that he married her to exploit her financially.

fine boy no dey pay.

90love:
I've dated my husband for 5years but only traditionally married for 5 months. For most of our relationship we have had financial difficulty but always manage to keep our head above water.

I'm pregnant and have gestational diabetes meaning sometimes i get very weak so I've been unable to work properly, I am also a final year nursing student. The truth is 80% of the time it's me that bail us out of bad financial crises, my husband has not been able to keep a stable job for as long as I've known him and when he gets his fast money he lavishes it, he doesnt think of the home rather he thinks of clubbing, drinking etc. I never look into his pockets as i think its rude to count people's money but the minute he swindlea his money away he starts to count my money to fund his things such as petrol, club, hosting his family coming from nigeria.

And he has 5 sisters, his young ones are very ill mannered dont do house work or even say good morning. They all take turns throughout the year to come to my house and spend 2weeks to one month Including his mother though i can't complain about her because she's his mother even if she was the worst i can manage her.

None of the above has really bothered me until i came to the realisation that im going to be a mother in less than 18 weeks and i have someone else to care for that is more important. I'm starting to think this man doesn't really love me because when i was terribly sick before finding out about my low iron and diabetes i couldnt get out of bed but he never checked on me instead he would spend all evening and night out with friends and all day sleeping, watching tv and looking for quick money.

I decided to return to my parents and have been here for 2+ months. I am properly looked after and it's only 20minutes away, my so called husband never calls to check on me, he has only initiated phone calls twice and he's asked me for money both times for one thing or another. He has never called my parents to greet them or thank them, it's like he abandoned his responsibility, he openly tells me not to come back because he can't cope with my illnesses.

He's very dissmissive and uncaring but he is also like that with his own family. He never calls them. They're always begging him to call them or i beg him to at least call his mum. I always blame his upbringing because he grew up very entitled with everything handed to him, he doesnt know the value of hard work.

Now we're in a major financial crises because he decided to leave his job. We can't pay the house rent and i have no way of bailing us out because i haven't been active at work due to sickness. I have been looking for a way out but he can't even hold a conversation with me about it. The minute i say something about our current finances, he starts threatening me to switch off the phone and raises his voice (i equally raise mine I'm not innocent because I've had enough) I'm so fed up of him and even the marriage. I don't see how he can ever grow up and i feel like im dragging a dead horse.

Whenever there's crises he becomes very mean and he can't cope, I'm always the strong one and have to find money just so he can be nice to me, which sounds pathetic. He comes from a very good home but blames all his emotional problems on not having his dad in his life but i am not excited to see the kind of dad he will be for his own child.

I feel like i made a mistake marrying him. I have been as supportive as i can be, i dont rub things in his face, i always try and maintain a happy home but I've had enough! How do you fix a situation where you don't respect your husband anymore? I don't believe he deserves my respect apart from him being a financial burden, he's also a serial womaniser i just got tired of doing csi so i turn the other way. I am so fed up and spiraling into deppression the disappointment to both of our families will be huge I've never imagined having a child in a broken home. If this is worth fixing i dont know where to start because my heart is resenting him. How do i explain to people that im leaving my husband of only 5 months?!!!

be honest was it his cuteness or ur old age made u married him?he didn't just develop d attitudes in 5 mnths,as a mother,i recommend u mak d man u want out of him.quarel ,shout,bone if need be but show him respect.b financial disciplined n strict twds him but don't deny money Fr his basics.yes u r on top now but i see ur hubby been on top soon n wil mak reference to ds ur present situation n d blessing cald wife God blessed him wt.except u don't see him beyond his present self.e no easy ooo sis.

A man should realise that it takes love for a woman to love u back,although some women don't appreciate it when u care too much,either reduce it for them or leave such a woman

90love:
I've dated my husband for 5years but only traditionally married for 5 months. For most of our relationship we have had financial difficulty but always manage to keep our head above water.

I'm pregnant and have gestational diabetes meaning sometimes i get very weak so I've been unable to work properly, I am also a final year nursing student. The truth is 80% of the time it's me that bail us out of bad financial crises, my husband has not been able to keep a stable job for as long as I've known him and when he gets his fast money he lavishes it, he doesnt think of the home rather he thinks of clubbing, drinking etc. I never look into his pockets as i think its rude to count people's money but the minute he swindlea his money away he starts to count my money to fund his things such as petrol, club, hosting his family coming from nigeria.

And he has 5 sisters, his young ones are very ill mannered dont do house work or even say good morning. They all take turns throughout the year to come to my house and spend 2weeks to one month Including his mother though i can't complain about her because she's his mother even if she was the worst i can manage her.

None of the above has really bothered me until i came to the realisation that im going to be a mother in less than 18 weeks and i have someone else to care for that is more important. I'm starting to think this man doesn't really love me because when i was terribly sick before finding out about my low iron and diabetes i couldnt get out of bed but he never checked on me instead he would spend all evening and night out with friends and all day sleeping, watching tv and looking for quick money.

I decided to return to my parents and have been here for 2+ months. I am properly looked after and it's only 20minutes away, my so called husband never calls to check on me, he has only initiated phone calls twice and he's asked me for money both times for one thing or another. He has never called my parents to greet them or thank them, it's like he abandoned his responsibility, he openly tells me not to come back because he can't cope with my illnesses.

He's very dissmissive and uncaring but he is also like that with his own family. He never calls them. They're always begging him to call them or i beg him to at least call his mum. I always blame his upbringing because he grew up very entitled with everything handed to him, he doesnt know the value of hard work.

Now we're in a major financial crises because he decided to leave his job. We can't pay the house rent and i have no way of bailing us out because i haven't been active at work due to sickness. I have been looking for a way out but he can't even hold a conversation with me about it. The minute i say something about our current finances, he starts threatening me to switch off the phone and raises his voice (i equally raise mine I'm not innocent because I've had enough) I'm so fed up of him and even the marriage. I don't see how he can ever grow up and i feel like im dragging a dead horse.

Whenever there's crises he becomes very mean and he can't cope, I'm always the strong one and have to find money just so he can be nice to me, which sounds pathetic. He comes from a very good home but blames all his emotional problems on not having his dad in his life but i am not excited to see the kind of dad he will be for his own child.

I feel like i made a mistake marrying him. I have been as supportive as i can be, i dont rub things in his face, i always try and maintain a happy home but I've had enough! How do you fix a situation where you don't respect your husband anymore? I don't believe he deserves my respect apart from him being a financial burden, he's also a serial womaniser i just got tired of doing csi so i turn the other way. I am so fed up and spiraling into deppression the disappointment to both of our families will be huge I've never imagined having a child in a broken home. If this is worth fixing i dont know where to start because my heart is resenting him. How do i explain to people that im leaving my husband of only 5 months?!!!

Divorce him,he deserves nothing better.

From experience I guess ur hubby is a yahoo man cos the term quick money was used more than trice in ur write up. So I coined that you married/dated him in his boom and now the guy is broke.
MY ADVICE:
If he is a graduate and is willing to bend down and look for a job you cud still petch in ur parent's home and watch him change but if otherwise pls don't try raising a child under a man that has no profile. You are a carrer lady and if you minus the bordens from ur so called hubby your son/daughter can still be raised without stress. Sometimes being a single mother is like buying drugs to live longer

Holuwakemmy16:
God please am on my kneel begging plz give me my own bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh coz I don't want problem in my marriage and for those that r having problem in their marriage plz lord take perfect control. marriage hmmm I reserve my comment

Then marry for love and not for lust,good guys/husbands are boring but at the end they worth it.

If he's a womanizer, then leave him. That's not love.

PiperAlpha:
Some men sha..I will never treat my wife like this. God forbid bad thing.
No wonder ladies want rich and ready-made guys as husband. Some guys no dey try at all.

My brother, it's not about being rich or ready-made. You can be rich today and get into poverty tomorrow if you don't know how to manage resources. Majek Fashek was once rich. Today you know his story. Anybody that allows any negative habit controls him/her can never sustain riches. No club-going,womanizing man can ever remain rich if at all he was once rich. I pity women who falls in love with someone that clubs, womanizes and drinks a lot. I really pity such women. For this lady, I pity her. And my advice for her is that she should bear it: stay in the marriage and make it work. By the way, there are rehabilitation centres around, she can recommend one for the husband. I think he needs it. Shame to a matured man who is not ready to take responsibilities for his life and that of his family. Big big shame to such a man.

If you could not leave him in 5yrs,why wanna leave him now?i feel for you,you can both go for counselling and prayers.

90love:
I've dated my husband for 5years but only traditionally married for 5 months. For most of our relationship we have had financial difficulty but always manage to keep our head above water.

I'm pregnant and have gestational diabetes meaning sometimes i get very weak so I've been unable to work properly, I am also a final year nursing student. The truth is 80% of the time it's me that bail us out of bad financial crises, my husband has not been able to keep a stable job for as long as I've known him and when he gets his fast money he lavishes it, he doesnt think of the home rather he thinks of clubbing, drinking etc. I never look into his pockets as i think its rude to count people's money but the minute he swindlea his money away he starts to count my money to fund his things such as petrol, club, hosting his family coming from nigeria.

And he has 5 sisters, his young ones are very ill mannered dont do house work or even say good morning. They all take turns throughout the year to come to my house and spend 2weeks to one month Including his mother though i can't complain about her because she's his mother even if she was the worst i can manage her.

None of the above has really bothered me until i came to the realisation that im going to be a mother in less than 18 weeks and i have someone else to care for that is more important. I'm starting to think this man doesn't really love me because when i was terribly sick before finding out about my low iron and diabetes i couldnt get out of bed but he never checked on me instead he would spend all evening and night out with friends and all day sleeping, watching tv and looking for quick money.

I decided to return to my parents and have been here for 2+ months. I am properly looked after and it's only 20minutes away, my so called husband never calls to check on me, he has only initiated phone calls twice and he's asked me for money both times for one thing or another. He has never called my parents to greet them or thank them, it's like he abandoned his responsibility, he openly tells me not to come back because he can't cope with my illnesses.

He's very dissmissive and uncaring but he is also like that with his own family. He never calls them. They're always begging him to call them or i beg him to at least call his mum. I always blame his upbringing because he grew up very entitled with everything handed to him, he doesnt know the value of hard work.

Now we're in a major financial crises because he decided to leave his job. We can't pay the house rent and i have no way of bailing us out because i haven't been active at work due to sickness. I have been looking for a way out but he can't even hold a conversation with me about it. The minute i say something about our current finances, he starts threatening me to switch off the phone and raises his voice (i equally raise mine I'm not innocent because I've had enough) I'm so fed up of him and even the marriage. I don't see how he can ever grow up and i feel like im dragging a dead horse.

Whenever there's crises he becomes very mean and he can't cope, I'm always the strong one and have to find money just so he can be nice to me, which sounds pathetic. He comes from a very good home but blames all his emotional problems on not having his dad in his life but i am not excited to see the kind of dad he will be for his own child.

I feel like i made a mistake marrying him. I have been as supportive as i can be, i dont rub things in his face, i always try and maintain a happy home but I've had enough! How do you fix a situation where you don't respect your husband anymore? I don't believe he deserves my respect apart from him being a financial burden, he's also a serial womaniser i just got tired of doing csi so i turn the other way. I am so fed up and spiraling into deppression the disappointment to both of our families will be huge I've never imagined having a child in a broken home. If this is worth fixing i dont know where to start because my heart is resenting him. How do i explain to people that im leaving my husband of only 5 months?!!!

vfactor:
I an sorry about what you re going thru emotionally. However u have to understand the fact that people should be responsible for their actions. Thats one lesson ur husband needs to learn.

I tire o. Thought am the only one reasoning it. Nigerians always attributing everything to religion and their mind black pass devil own. Mtchewwwww!

All this yahoo boys!

90love:
I've dated my husband for 5years but only traditionally married for 5 months. For most of our relationship we have had financial difficulty but always manage to keep our head above water.

I'm pregnant and have gestational diabetes meaning sometimes i get very weak so I've been unable to work properly, I am also a final year nursing student. The truth is 80% of the time it's me that bail us out of bad financial crises, my husband has not been able to keep a stable job for as long as I've known him and when he gets his fast money he lavishes it, he doesnt think of the home rather he thinks of clubbing, drinking etc. I never look into his pockets as i think its rude to count people's money but the minute he swindlea his money away he starts to count my money to fund his things such as petrol, club, hosting his family coming from nigeria.

And he has 5 sisters, his young ones are very ill mannered dont do house work or even say good morning. They all take turns throughout the year to come to my house and spend 2weeks to one month Including his mother though i can't complain about her because she's his mother even if she was the worst i can manage her.

None of the above has really bothered me until i came to the realisation that im going to be a mother in less than 18 weeks and i have someone else to care for that is more important. I'm starting to think this man doesn't really love me because when i was terribly sick before finding out about my low iron and diabetes i couldnt get out of bed but he never checked on me instead he would spend all evening and night out with friends and all day sleeping, watching tv and looking for quick money.

I decided to return to my parents and have been here for 2+ months. I am properly looked after and it's only 20minutes away, my so called husband never calls to check on me, he has only initiated phone calls twice and he's asked me for money both times for one thing or another. He has never called my parents to greet them or thank them, it's like he abandoned his responsibility, he openly tells me not to come back because he can't cope with my illnesses.

He's very dissmissive and uncaring but he is also like that with his own family. He never calls them. They're always begging him to call them or i beg him to at least call his mum. I always blame his upbringing because he grew up very entitled with everything handed to him, he doesnt know the value of hard work.

Now we're in a major financial crises because he decided to leave his job. We can't pay the house rent and i have no way of bailing us out because i haven't been active at work due to sickness. I have been looking for a way out but he can't even hold a conversation with me about it. The minute i say something about our current finances, he starts threatening me to switch off the phone and raises his voice (i equally raise mine I'm not innocent because I've had enough) I'm so fed up of him and even the marriage. I don't see how he can ever grow up and i feel like im dragging a dead horse.

Whenever there's crises he becomes very mean and he can't cope, I'm always the strong one and have to find money just so he can be nice to me, which sounds pathetic. He comes from a very good home but blames all his emotional problems on not having his dad in his life but i am not excited to see the kind of dad he will be for his own child.

I feel like i made a mistake marrying him. I have been as supportive as i can be, i dont rub things in his face, i always try and maintain a happy home but I've had enough! How do you fix a situation where you don't respect your husband anymore? I don't believe he deserves my respect apart from him being a financial burden, he's also a serial womaniser i just got tired of doing csi so i turn the other way. I am so fed up and spiraling into deppression the disappointment to both of our families will be huge I've never imagined having a child in a broken home. If this is worth fixing i dont know where to start because my heart is resenting him. How do i explain to people that im leaving my husband of only 5 months?!!!

Your husband must definitly be YORUBA...na dem men dey always behave like that

some men r just not husband material

90love:
I've dated my husband for 5years but only traditionally married for 5 months. For most of our relationship we have had financial difficulty but always manage to keep our head above water.

I'm pregnant and have gestational diabetes meaning sometimes i get very weak so I've been unable to work properly, I am also a final year nursing student. The truth is 80% of the time it's me that bail us out of bad financial crises, my husband has not been able to keep a stable job for as long as I've known him and when he gets his fast money he lavishes it, he doesnt think of the home rather he thinks of clubbing, drinking etc. I never look into his pockets as i think its rude to count people's money but the minute he swindlea his money away he starts to count my money to fund his things such as petrol, club, hosting his family coming from nigeria.

And he has 5 sisters, his young ones are very ill mannered dont do house work or even say good morning. They all take turns throughout the year to come to my house and spend 2weeks to one month Including his mother though i can't complain about her because she's his mother even if she was the worst i can manage her.

None of the above has really bothered me until i came to the realisation that im going to be a mother in less than 18 weeks and i have someone else to care for that is more important. I'm starting to think this man doesn't really love me because when i was terribly sick before finding out about my low iron and diabetes i couldnt get out of bed but he never checked on me instead he would spend all evening and night out with friends and all day sleeping, watching tv and looking for quick money.

I decided to return to my parents and have been here for 2+ months. I am properly looked after and it's only 20minutes away, my so called husband never calls to check on me, he has only initiated phone calls twice and he's asked me for money both times for one thing or another. He has never called my parents to greet them or thank them, it's like he abandoned his responsibility, he openly tells me not to come back because he can't cope with my illnesses.

He's very dissmissive and uncaring but he is also like that with his own family. He never calls them. They're always begging him to call them or i beg him to at least call his mum. I always blame his upbringing because he grew up very entitled with everything handed to him, he doesnt know the value of hard work.

Now we're in a major financial crises because he decided to leave his job. We can't pay the house rent and i have no way of bailing us out because i haven't been active at work due to sickness. I have been looking for a way out but he can't even hold a conversation with me about it. The minute i say something about our current finances, he starts threatening me to switch off the phone and raises his voice (i equally raise mine I'm not innocent because I've had enough) I'm so fed up of him and even the marriage. I don't see how he can ever grow up and i feel like im dragging a dead horse.

Whenever there's crises he becomes very mean and he can't cope, I'm always the strong one and have to find money just so he can be nice to me, which sounds pathetic. He comes from a very good home but blames all his emotional problems on not having his dad in his life but i am not excited to see the kind of dad he will be for his own child.

I feel like i made a mistake marrying him. I have been as supportive as i can be, i dont rub things in his face, i always try and maintain a happy home but I've had enough! How do you fix a situation where you don't respect your husband anymore? I don't believe he deserves my respect apart from him being a financial burden, he's also a serial womaniser i just got tired of doing csi so i turn the other way. I am so fed up and spiraling into deppression the disappointment to both of our families will be huge I've never imagined having a child in a broken home. If this is worth fixing i dont know where to start because my heart is resenting him. How do i explain to people that im leaving my husband of only 5 months?!!!

Oh no Sorry Mama to be.
consider this to be what almight God destined to happen. I believe God has something nice for you in respond to your perseverence. Be prayful & have a motherly talk with his mother first, let her know what you are passing through.
Lastly I pray that God should intervene on your pathetic issue.

Sister don't sacrifice your head inside marriage .Leave him Asap.

Good, honest and caring guys are out there praying for someone to love them and benefit from their affection and caring nature but most of these ladies call them boring and creeps.

Instead they prefer to run with ruffians with no future who would knock them up, leech off them and bail to the next girl all because these shallow girls with no hindsight believe such guys are the rave of the moment with swag.

I mean, look at the character of the man described in the OP and a rational human being born with a brain decided to let him impregnate her and even went as far as getting married to such a pain in the ass.

Lie on your bed just as you made it.

Women should stop polluting the Internet with their moaning and complaints after they have made their choice.

No one really cares. Believe me.

I am not trying to insult you BUT didn't you notice his bad behaviour during the 5 years you dated him or were you hoping he would magically change?

The whole point of dating is to access the person before marriage.... didn't you see the signs before marriage.

90love:
I've dated my husband for 5years but only traditionally married for 5 months. For most of our relationship we have had financial difficulty but always manage to keep our head above water.

I'm pregnant and have gestational diabetes meaning sometimes i get very weak so I've been unable to work properly, I am also a final year nursing student. The truth is 80% of the time it's me that bail us out of bad financial crises, my husband has not been able to keep a stable job for as long as I've known him and when he gets his fast money he lavishes it, he doesnt think of the home rather he thinks of clubbing, drinking etc. I never look into his pockets as i think its rude to count people's money but the minute he swindlea his money away he starts to count my money to fund his things such as petrol, club, hosting his family coming from nigeria.

And he has 5 sisters, his young ones are very ill mannered dont do house work or even say good morning. They all take turns throughout the year to come to my house and spend 2weeks to one month Including his mother though i can't complain about her because she's his mother even if she was the worst i can manage her.

None of the above has really bothered me until i came to the realisation that im going to be a mother in less than 18 weeks and i have someone else to care for that is more important. I'm starting to think this man doesn't really love me because when i was terribly sick before finding out about my low iron and diabetes i couldnt get out of bed but he never checked on me instead he would spend all evening and night out with friends and all day sleeping, watching tv and looking for quick money.

I decided to return to my parents and have been here for 2+ months. I am properly looked after and it's only 20minutes away, my so called husband never calls to check on me, he has only initiated phone calls twice and he's asked me for money both times for one thing or another. He has never called my parents to greet them or thank them, it's like he abandoned his responsibility, he openly tells me not to come back because he can't cope with my illnesses.

He's very dissmissive and uncaring but he is also like that with his own family. He never calls them. They're always begging him to call them or i beg him to at least call his mum. I always blame his upbringing because he grew up very entitled with everything handed to him, he doesnt know the value of hard work.

Now we're in a major financial crises because he decided to leave his job. We can't pay the house rent and i have no way of bailing us out because i haven't been active at work due to sickness. I have been looking for a way out but he can't even hold a conversation with me about it. The minute i say something about our current finances, he starts threatening me to switch off the phone and raises his voice (i equally raise mine I'm not innocent because I've had enough) I'm so fed up of him and even the marriage. I don't see how he can ever grow up and i feel like im dragging a dead horse.

Whenever there's crises he becomes very mean and he can't cope, I'm always the strong one and have to find money just so he can be nice to me, which sounds pathetic. He comes from a very good home but blames all his emotional problems on not having his dad in his life but i am not excited to see the kind of dad he will be for his own child.

I feel like i made a mistake marrying him. I have been as supportive as i can be, i dont rub things in his face, i always try and maintain a happy home but I've had enough! How do you fix a situation where you don't respect your husband anymore? I don't believe he deserves my respect apart from him being a financial burden, he's also a serial womaniser i just got tired of doing csi so i turn the other way. I am so fed up and spiraling into deppression the disappointment to both of our families will be huge I've never imagined having a child in a broken home. If this is worth fixing i dont know where to start because my heart is resenting him. How do i explain to people that im leaving my husband of only 5 months?!!!

You and this your emergency statistics, haba! Which part of Nigeria do we have that 80% of men are lazy. Please be careful of this kangaroo analysis

Goldenboy007:
Actually it's hard to advise just listening to one side of the story but if all the you said are true then you got so much going on. So like someone said - 5 years is enough to know who he really was but you went ahead to marry him. If you didn't leave him when there was no legal bond now you wanna leave when there is legal bond and a child involved. If you are living outside Nigeria then 80 percent of men here are like that !!! So be careful you don't Jump from frying pan to fire! Make it work !!!

Whether u leave ur hussy or not, is non of my business, before i got married, i received counseling that the only antidot in marriage is patience and endurance. So go and do likewise.

she had five years to critically look at his character.... he did not just change overnight.

AfroKnight:
What's wrong with some men? Even if you were not raised properly at least you should work on yourself as an adult. Life does not tolerate slothfulness. Life is tough on people who refuse to get their act together. This lady needs to leave this man. He won't change unless he suffers. Men should train themselves to be reliable and self sufficient. Life is not a jamboree.

90love:
I've dated my husband for 5years but only traditionally married for 5 months. For most of our relationship we have had financial difficulty but always manage to keep our head above water.

I'm pregnant and have gestational diabetes meaning sometimes i get very weak so I've been unable to work properly, I am also a final year nursing student. The truth is 80% of the time it's me that bail us out of bad financial crises, my husband has not been able to keep a stable job for as long as I've known him and when he gets his fast money he lavishes it, he doesnt think of the home rather he thinks of clubbing, drinking etc. I never look into his pockets as i think its rude to count people's money but the minute he swindlea his money away he starts to count my money to fund his things such as petrol, club, hosting his family coming from nigeria.

And he has 5 sisters, his young ones are very ill mannered dont do house work or even say good morning. They all take turns throughout the year to come to my house and spend 2weeks to one month Including his mother though i can't complain about her because she's his mother even if she was the worst i can manage her.

None of the above has really bothered me until i came to the realisation that im going to be a mother in less than 18 weeks and i have someone else to care for that is more important. I'm starting to think this man doesn't really love me because when i was terribly sick before finding out about my low iron and diabetes i couldnt get out of bed but he never checked on me instead he would spend all evening and night out with friends and all day sleeping, watching tv and looking for quick money.

I decided to return to my parents and have been here for 2+ months. I am properly looked after and it's only 20minutes away, my so called husband never calls to check on me, he has only initiated phone calls twice and he's asked me for money both times for one thing or another. He has never called my parents to greet them or thank them, it's like he abandoned his responsibility, he openly tells me not to come back because he can't cope with my illnesses.

He's very dissmissive and uncaring but he is also like that with his own family. He never calls them. They're always begging him to call them or i beg him to at least call his mum. I always blame his upbringing because he grew up very entitled with everything handed to him, he doesnt know the value of hard work.

Now we're in a major financial crises because he decided to leave his job. We can't pay the house rent and i have no way of bailing us out because i haven't been active at work due to sickness. I have been looking for a way out but he can't even hold a conversation with me about it. The minute i say something about our current finances, he starts threatening me to switch off the phone and raises his voice (i equally raise mine I'm not innocent because I've had enough) I'm so fed up of him and even the marriage. I don't see how he can ever grow up and i feel like im dragging a dead horse.

Whenever there's crises he becomes very mean and he can't cope, I'm always the strong one and have to find money just so he can be nice to me, which sounds pathetic. He comes from a very good home but blames all his emotional problems on not having his dad in his life but i am not excited to see the kind of dad he will be for his own child.

I feel like i made a mistake marrying him. I have been as supportive as i can be, i dont rub things in his face, i always try and maintain a happy home but I've had enough! How do you fix a situation where you don't respect your husband anymore? I don't believe he deserves my respect apart from him being a financial burden, he's also a serial womaniser i just got tired of doing csi so i turn the other way. I am so fed up and spiraling into deppression the disappointment to both of our families will be huge I've never imagined having a child in a broken home. If this is worth fixing i dont know where to start because my heart is resenting him. How do i explain to people that im leaving my husband of only 5 months?!!!

Sis! 5years is long enough to know your man! You've made a mistake by marrying this guy already and the sad truth is you need to give him a space by leaving him!

I dated a guy for 5yrs and decided it was over on the 5th year because of the traits I saw in him that I do no really want in my husband. I'm not regreting I did that till now. Leave this guy! Marrying him is not by force! He's not responsible! It's even a good thing you're not in 9ja,makes it easier for you. It's your life and no one else's,focus on your health and baby and fight for your life not one useless guy who will sharply move on if u take your last breathe today(God forbid). It is well with you in Jesus'Name

I'm sorry to say this;you got married to a complete idiot.

90love:
I've dated my husband for 5years but only traditionally married for 5 months. For most of our relationship we have had financial difficulty but always manage to keep our head above water.

I'm pregnant and have gestational diabetes meaning sometimes i get very weak so I've been unable to work properly, I am also a final year nursing student. The truth is 80% of the time it's me that bail us out of bad financial crises, my husband has not been able to keep a stable job for as long as I've known him and when he gets his fast money he lavishes it, he doesnt think of the home rather he thinks of clubbing, drinking etc. I never look into his pockets as i think its rude to count people's money but the minute he swindlea his money away he starts to count my money to fund his things such as petrol, club, hosting his family coming from nigeria.

And he has 5 sisters, his young ones are very ill mannered dont do house work or even say good morning. They all take turns throughout the year to come to my house and spend 2weeks to one month Including his mother though i can't complain about her because she's his mother even if she was the worst i can manage her.

None of the above has really bothered me until i came to the realisation that im going to be a mother in less than 18 weeks and i have someone else to care for that is more important. I'm starting to think this man doesn't really love me because when i was terribly sick before finding out about my low iron and diabetes i couldnt get out of bed but he never checked on me instead he would spend all evening and night out with friends and all day sleeping, watching tv and looking for quick money.

I decided to return to my parents and have been here for 2+ months. I am properly looked after and it's only 20minutes away, my so called husband never calls to check on me, he has only initiated phone calls twice and he's asked me for money both times for one thing or another. He has never called my parents to greet them or thank them, it's like he abandoned his responsibility, he openly tells me not to come back because he can't cope with my illnesses.

He's very dissmissive and uncaring but he is also like that with his own family. He never calls them. They're always begging him to call them or i beg him to at least call his mum. I always blame his upbringing because he grew up very entitled with everything handed to him, he doesnt know the value of hard work.

Now we're in a major financial crises because he decided to leave his job. We can't pay the house rent and i have no way of bailing us out because i haven't been active at work due to sickness. I have been looking for a way out but he can't even hold a conversation with me about it. The minute i say something about our current finances, he starts threatening me to switch off the phone and raises his voice (i equally raise mine I'm not innocent because I've had enough) I'm so fed up of him and even the marriage. I don't see how he can ever grow up and i feel like im dragging a dead horse.

Whenever there's crises he becomes very mean and he can't cope, I'm always the strong one and have to find money just so he can be nice to me, which sounds pathetic. He comes from a very good home but blames all his emotional problems on not having his dad in his life but i am not excited to see the kind of dad he will be for his own child.

I feel like i made a mistake marrying him. I have been as supportive as i can be, i dont rub things in his face, i always try and maintain a happy home but I've had enough! How do you fix a situation where you don't respect your husband anymore? I don't believe he deserves my respect apart from him being a financial burden, he's also a serial womaniser i just got tired of doing csi so i turn the other way. I am so fed up and spiraling into deppression the disappointment to both of our families will be huge I've never imagined having a child in a broken home. If this is worth fixing i dont know where to start because my heart is resenting him. How do i explain to people that im leaving my husband of only 5 months?!!!

bookworm07:
U spent 5yrs dating him and u coudnt see him displaying such nonchalant attitudes? Perhaps u were blinded by "he will change" notion. A belived which u feigned for yourself

she was dickmatized