Sorry Madam for your story....Sometimes I wonder if couple that gave such story do court at all....But i have to read your message again and realized that you both courted for GOOD 5 Years.

I will say maybe you fell for his money and you also rush him to marry you...hence the result now.

Your husband was not in love you with, neither did he love you..
But the best is for you to let him DO HIS ROLE as the head of the family....You cannot pay the house rent. let him look for money anywhere and pay.

You need to also talk to him ...I see communication is lacking in your relationship.

Wish you luck. Just have faith ALL will be okay.

90love:
I've dated my husband for 5years but only traditionally married for 5 months. For most of our relationship we have had financial difficulty but always manage to keep our head above water.

I'm pregnant and have gestational diabetes meaning sometimes i get very weak so I've been unable to work properly, I am also a final year nursing student. The truth is 80% of the time it's me that bail us out of bad financial crises, my husband has not been able to keep a stable job for as long as I've known him and when he gets his fast money he lavishes it, he doesnt think of the home rather he thinks of clubbing, drinking etc. I never look into his pockets as i think its rude to count people's money but the minute he swindlea his money away he starts to count my money to fund his things such as petrol, club, hosting his family coming from nigeria.

And he has 5 sisters, his young ones are very ill mannered dont do house work or even say good morning. They all take turns throughout the year to come to my house and spend 2weeks to one month Including his mother though i can't complain about her because she's his mother even if she was the worst i can manage her.

None of the above has really bothered me until i came to the realisation that im going to be a mother in less than 18 weeks and i have someone else to care for that is more important. I'm starting to think this man doesn't really love me because when i was terribly sick before finding out about my low iron and diabetes i couldnt get out of bed but he never checked on me instead he would spend all evening and night out with friends and all day sleeping, watching tv and looking for quick money.

I decided to return to my parents and have been here for 2+ months. I am properly looked after and it's only 20minutes away, my so called husband never calls to check on me, he has only initiated phone calls twice and he's asked me for money both times for one thing or another. He has never called my parents to greet them or thank them, it's like he abandoned his responsibility, he openly tells me not to come back because he can't cope with my illnesses.

He's very dissmissive and uncaring but he is also like that with his own family. He never calls them. They're always begging him to call them or i beg him to at least call his mum. I always blame his upbringing because he grew up very entitled with everything handed to him, he doesnt know the value of hard work.

Now we're in a major financial crises because he decided to leave his job. We can't pay the house rent and i have no way of bailing us out because i haven't been active at work due to sickness. I have been looking for a way out but he can't even hold a conversation with me about it. The minute i say something about our current finances, he starts threatening me to switch off the phone and raises his voice (i equally raise mine I'm not innocent because I've had enough) I'm so fed up of him and even the marriage. I don't see how he can ever grow up and i feel like im dragging a dead horse.

Whenever there's crises he becomes very mean and he can't cope, I'm always the strong one and have to find money just so he can be nice to me, which sounds pathetic. He comes from a very good home but blames all his emotional problems on not having his dad in his life but i am not excited to see the kind of dad he will be for his own child.

I feel like i made a mistake marrying him. I have been as supportive as i can be, i dont rub things in his face, i always try and maintain a happy home but I've had enough! How do you fix a situation where you don't respect your husband anymore? I don't believe he deserves my respect apart from him being a financial burden, he's also a serial womaniser i just got tired of doing csi so i turn the other way. I am so fed up and spiraling into deppression the disappointment to both of our families will be huge I've never imagined having a child in a broken home. If this is worth fixing i dont know where to start because my heart is resenting him. How do i explain to people that im leaving my husband of only 5 months?!!!

All this traits he would have had before you decided to get married to him. There are loads of men loitering London streets, that are equally has bad, if not worse than your husband.
Face your final year placements and exams, and give it the best shot you possibly can. Considering you medical needs and Pregnancy situation.
You are in a country that the Government renders has much help, to single parents the best way they can and your parents are also available to render, has much help and assistance they possibly can.
Best to remain a single parent than a pretend - married woman !!!!!
You don't need to explain to people, that your 5 months marriage has hit the rocks !!! Probably some of them are going through worse situations in their marital homes, but simply pretending !!!!
QUIT the loser and GAIN your SANITY !!!!!!

You saw all these things you are complaining about when you were dating. I dont know how to feel sorry for someone who saw fire and jumped into it.
Why did you marry him if he had all these terrible trait you highlighted?
*assumption*
You were getting old and like most Nigerians, u wanted to marry. So you choose anything that had 2 testicles and walked down the aisle with him.

Sorry, u choose to marry him. You have lived with it all the while. Now way ur eyes don clear.

Call him and have a talk. Highlite everything you feel bad about his behaviour and let him know if he doesnt get his shi!t together. You will leave him.
Start saving up your money cuz u will definately need it as a single mother.

***
with all the stories i read here, i wonder why people still get married.

malachytochukwu:
You and this your emergency statistics, haba! Which part of Nigeria do we have that 80% of men are lazy. Please be careful of this kangaroo analysis

The person you quoted is silly to say that 80% of Nigerian men living are like that..

Sorry i have to add this... That sort of behaviour is peculiar to YORUBA men. It does not matter where they live or level of education.

OWAMBE is in their blood and there is nothing any body can do about it. They are the ONLY men that can leave their wives and babies to groove, party, club, spray money they borrowed or won at babaijebu at half naked women around 2am.

Op prove me wrong that you and your family are not YORUBA.

Just 5 months and the boats already rocking? Too bad...There's no need 4 us 2 be reiterating d fact that 5yrs ov courtship ought to have been ample time to understudy ur intended husband properly.
But,putting aside the the blinding hurt caused by his ill-treatment of u and lack ov responsibility, have yhu ever taken the time since ur problems strtid ,to talk things through with him? Like a heart to heart talk during one of his sober moments? Let him know exactly how yhu feel...how much u'd want him to show some concern nd care 4 u,ur health nd unborn baby..tell him the things he does that hurt yhu. And very importantly,try to understand him...make him pour out his heart to u.
4 me,I can simply envision a frustrated man...overcome by the feeling of being unfulfilled. Perhaps,there are things he planned 4 himself that so far have not been going well. Even if his reasons seem ridiculous to u,just try to make a lil sense out of it. It might not be easy doing that given the current state of things between you two,but u have to try..Be a little bit patient with him,perhaps until u av ur baby. If things are still not looking up,if they remain the way it is or gets worse,then I advise u stay separated for a while. U'll be able to decide what next to do from there m But,God hoping,he'd av become better.
But 4 now,concentrate on making things work. 5months is just too short a time to give up on something that was meant to be "till death do u part"
BTW,do ur best not to let this situation drain u of all energy,physically,emotionally and otherwise. U've got ur health to put in order,a baby on the way that would need complete love,care and devotion...and studies to complete.

90love:
I've dated my husband for 5years but only traditionally married for 5 months. For most of our relationship we have had financial difficulty but always manage to keep our head above water.

I'm pregnant and have gestational diabetes meaning sometimes i get very weak so I've been unable to work properly, I am also a final year nursing student. The truth is 80% of the time it's me that bail us out of bad financial crises, my husband has not been able to keep a stable job for as long as I've known him and when he gets his fast money he lavishes it, he doesnt think of the home rather he thinks of clubbing, drinking etc. I never look into his pockets as i think its rude to count people's money but the minute he swindlea his money away he starts to count my money to fund his things such as petrol, club, hosting his family coming from nigeria.

And he has 5 sisters, his young ones are very ill mannered dont do house work or even say good morning. They all take turns throughout the year to come to my house and spend 2weeks to one month Including his mother though i can't complain about her because she's his mother even if she was the worst i can manage her.

None of the above has really bothered me until i came to the realisation that im going to be a mother in less than 18 weeks and i have someone else to care for that is more important. I'm starting to think this man doesn't really love me because when i was terribly sick before finding out about my low iron and diabetes i couldnt get out of bed but he never checked on me instead he would spend all evening and night out with friends and all day sleeping, watching tv and looking for quick money.

I decided to return to my parents and have been here for 2+ months. I am properly looked after and it's only 20minutes away, my so called husband never calls to check on me, he has only initiated phone calls twice and he's asked me for money both times for one thing or another. He has never called my parents to greet them or thank them, it's like he abandoned his responsibility, he openly tells me not to come back because he can't cope with my illnesses.

He's very dissmissive and uncaring but he is also like that with his own family. He never calls them. They're always begging him to call them or i beg him to at least call his mum. I always blame his upbringing because he grew up very entitled with everything handed to him, he doesnt know the value of hard work.

Now we're in a major financial crises because he decided to leave his job. We can't pay the house rent and i have no way of bailing us out because i haven't been active at work due to sickness. I have been looking for a way out but he can't even hold a conversation with me about it. The minute i say something about our current finances, he starts threatening me to switch off the phone and raises his voice (i equally raise mine I'm not innocent because I've had enough) I'm so fed up of him and even the marriage. I don't see how he can ever grow up and i feel like im dragging a dead horse.

Whenever there's crises he becomes very mean and he can't cope, I'm always the strong one and have to find money just so he can be nice to me, which sounds pathetic. He comes from a very good home but blames all his emotional problems on not having his dad in his life but i am not excited to see the kind of dad he will be for his own child.

I feel like i made a mistake marrying him. I have been as supportive as i can be, i dont rub things in his face, i always try and maintain a happy home but I've had enough! How do you fix a situation where you don't respect your husband anymore? I don't believe he deserves my respect apart from him being a financial burden, he's also a serial womaniser i just got tired of doing csi so i turn the other way. I am so fed up and spiraling into deppression the disappointment to both of our families will be huge I've never imagined having a child in a broken home. If this is worth fixing i dont know where to start because my heart is resenting him. How do i explain to people that im leaving my husband of only 5 months?!!!

You married an Ofeke, it takes a vain woman with misplaced priorities to attract an Ofeke!
Enjoy your matrimony.

You open your two korokoro eyes baba God give you, use d eyes wan take jump enter train tracks.

Let me ask you ladies, marriage na by force. From your post you saying he is always broke which is not really a big deal in marriage, but lack of affection, care, and respect for one another matters alot.
If your own husband can't walk upstairs or to your room to check up on his sick wife wow, you call that one husband. Pity your life.

If marriage good for your health stay, if nor good for your health quit.

Some ppl go come here now dey talk say na for better for worse. Life is too short not to live it with the right person.

Ok had to return to this thread after some good detective work by a Nairalander. So which one is it? Where you married in 2012 or just 5 months ago? Or is this your second marriage? Something doesn't add up here.

U have hormonal.issues. u beta relax and look at the good in him

After dating 4 5 yrs now 5 months after u
Ur story.is half complete

In this world all women are never at fault even if there.husband is jesus.

90love:
I've dated my husband for 5years but only traditionally married for 5 months. For most of our relationship we have had financial difficulty but always manage to keep our head above water.

I'm pregnant and have gestational diabetes meaning sometimes i get very weak so I've been unable to work properly, I am also a final year nursing student. The truth is 80% of the time it's me that bail us out of bad financial crises, my husband has not been able to keep a stable job for as long as I've known him and when he gets his fast money he lavishes it, he doesnt think of the home rather he thinks of clubbing, drinking etc. I never look into his pockets as i think its rude to count people's money but the minute he swindlea his money away he starts to count my money to fund his things such as petrol, club, hosting his family coming from nigeria.

And he has 5 sisters, his young ones are very ill mannered dont do house work or even say good morning. They all take turns throughout the year to come to my house and spend 2weeks to one month Including his mother though i can't complain about her because she's his mother even if she was the worst i can manage her.

None of the above has really bothered me until i came to the realisation that im going to be a mother in less than 18 weeks and i have someone else to care for that is more important. I'm starting to think this man doesn't really love me because when i was terribly sick before finding out about my low iron and diabetes i couldnt get out of bed but he never checked on me instead he would spend all evening and night out with friends and all day sleeping, watching tv and looking for quick money.

I decided to return to my parents and have been here for 2+ months. I am properly looked after and it's only 20minutes away, my so called husband never calls to check on me, he has only initiated phone calls twice and he's asked me for money both times for one thing or another. He has never called my parents to greet them or thank them, it's like he abandoned his responsibility, he openly tells me not to come back because he can't cope with my illnesses.

He's very dissmissive and uncaring but he is also like that with his own family. He never calls them. They're always begging him to call them or i beg him to at least call his mum. I always blame his upbringing because he grew up very entitled with everything handed to him, he doesnt know the value of hard work.

Now we're in a major financial crises because he decided to leave his job. We can't pay the house rent and i have no way of bailing us out because i haven't been active at work due to sickness. I have been looking for a way out but he can't even hold a conversation with me about it. The minute i say something about our current finances, he starts threatening me to switch off the phone and raises his voice (i equally raise mine I'm not innocent because I've had enough) I'm so fed up of him and even the marriage. I don't see how he can ever grow up and i feel like im dragging a dead horse.

Whenever there's crises he becomes very mean and he can't cope, I'm always the strong one and have to find money just so he can be nice to me, which sounds pathetic. He comes from a very good home but blames all his emotional problems on not having his dad in his life but i am not excited to see the kind of dad he will be for his own child.

I feel like i made a mistake marrying him. I have been as supportive as i can be, i dont rub things in his face, i always try and maintain a happy home but I've had enough! How do you fix a situation where you don't respect your husband anymore? I don't believe he deserves my respect apart from him being a financial burden, he's also a serial womaniser i just got tired of doing csi so i turn the other way. I am so fed up and spiraling into deppression the disappointment to both of our families will be huge I've never imagined having a child in a broken home. If this is worth fixing i dont know where to start because my heart is resenting him. How do i explain to people that im leaving my husband of only 5 months?!!!

\



Dont wait untill u died of depression my dear sister a broken marriage is better than a dead relative.

Think twice before u wake up one morning and are long gone

From what you have said, the guy seems irresponsible and selfish. I really think the marriage is a mistake. But I wonder why you did not find out about his personality since you guys dated for 5 years. Personally, I would definitely not stay in an unhappy marriage. Although baby is on the way, the marriage is only 5 months. A stitch in time saves nine.

90love:
I've dated my husband for 5years but only traditionally married for 5 months. For most of our relationship we have had financial difficulty but always manage to keep our head above water.

I'm pregnant and have gestational diabetes meaning sometimes i get very weak so I've been unable to work properly, I am also a final year nursing student. The truth is 80% of the time it's me that bail us out of bad financial crises, my husband has not been able to keep a stable job for as long as I've known him and when he gets his fast money he lavishes it, he doesnt think of the home rather he thinks of clubbing, drinking etc. I never look into his pockets as i think its rude to count people's money but the minute he swindlea his money away he starts to count my money to fund his things such as petrol, club, hosting his family coming from nigeria.

And he has 5 sisters, his young ones are very ill mannered dont do house work or even say good morning. They all take turns throughout the year to come to my house and spend 2weeks to one month Including his mother though i can't complain about her because she's his mother even if she was the worst i can manage her.

None of the above has really bothered me until i came to the realisation that im going to be a mother in less than 18 weeks and i have someone else to care for that is more important. I'm starting to think this man doesn't really love me because when i was terribly sick before finding out about my low iron and diabetes i couldnt get out of bed but he never checked on me instead he would spend all evening and night out with friends and all day sleeping, watching tv and looking for quick money.

I decided to return to my parents and have been here for 2+ months. I am properly looked after and it's only 20minutes away, my so called husband never calls to check on me, he has only initiated phone calls twice and he's asked me for money both times for one thing or another. He has never called my parents to greet them or thank them, it's like he abandoned his responsibility, he openly tells me not to come back because he can't cope with my illnesses.

He's very dissmissive and uncaring but he is also like that with his own family. He never calls them. They're always begging him to call them or i beg him to at least call his mum. I always blame his upbringing because he grew up very entitled with everything handed to him, he doesnt know the value of hard work.

Now we're in a major financial crises because he decided to leave his job. We can't pay the house rent and i have no way of bailing us out because i haven't been active at work due to sickness. I have been looking for a way out but he can't even hold a conversation with me about it. The minute i say something about our current finances, he starts threatening me to switch off the phone and raises his voice (i equally raise mine I'm not innocent because I've had enough) I'm so fed up of him and even the marriage. I don't see how he can ever grow up and i feel like im dragging a dead horse.

Whenever there's crises he becomes very mean and he can't cope, I'm always the strong one and have to find money just so he can be nice to me, which sounds pathetic. He comes from a very good home but blames all his emotional problems on not having his dad in his life but i am not excited to see the kind of dad he will be for his own child.

I feel like i made a mistake marrying him. I have been as supportive as i can be, i dont rub things in his face, i always try and maintain a happy home but I've had enough! How do you fix a situation where you don't respect your husband anymore? I don't believe he deserves my respect apart from him being a financial burden, he's also a serial womaniser i just got tired of doing csi so i turn the other way. I am so fed up and spiraling into deppression the disappointment to both of our families will be huge I've never imagined having a child in a broken home. If this is worth fixing i dont know where to start because my heart is resenting him. How do i explain to people that im leaving my husband of only 5 months?!!!

Leave while you still have your sanity intact. Leave now!

In fact you should have left yesterday morning by 6am on the dot!

wasak:
Permit me to ask. All the while you were dating him, didn't you discover all those traits? Or you're one of those who believe they can change a man after marriage, that he ll bcom responsible after marriage.
The sad truth is, I've seen guys like that and they'll hardly ever change, its either you embrace him like that or you take a walk. You talk about not wanting to have a child in a broken home, is the home not alrdy broken whether you quit or not? Or you think the coming of the child will make him change.
I want to belive you re still young, if you do not want to grow old before your time, you just have to take a bold step, as it is, you have got a job of your ow, which means you can take care of the child, and if the qualities about you have stated about yourself are as much as true, you Angel will surely come for you in no time. Until then, be brave!
Moreso, perhaps when you leave this guy and give him a cold shoulder, he might com to terms with the reality of life and change his ways, such ppl do not change except with bitter experience.

The poster above nailed it but you should as well consider your unborn child as well. You are very intelligent to have discovered the root of his problem and I hope you would not make same mistake by denying your child a strong male figure especially if he were a guy. Male child without strong male figure around tends to be quite emotional unstable.

Normal wives complaints and pregnancy symptoms at work

/
Kini big deal?

You dated for 5 years. You saw his pattern of behavior and still went ahead to marry him. Well, go ahead and pay your bills with love. I love people who intentionally set themselves on fire and start shouting for help.

To have got entangled in this mess at such a young age, you must be a loser. It is difficult to feel sympathetic to your situation. As you make your bed, so you lay on it. Perhaps, this should be a warning to all the ladies out there dating losers.
/

OP my advise is if u cry every day in ur marriage, sit down, take a deep breath & ask yourself " Am i marrying a Human or an Onion"? Simple...

After dat u can decide wether or not to remain married to vegetable or human naa....

Personal text: Will not accept friend request from people who I find are not interesting. Sorry. 1st I'm a wife, a best friend, a career woman and not Nigerian. East African beauty married to a handsome Nigerian and enjoying what life has to offer.

May be if you had have someone close, giving you good advice, things may not have been this bad. Meanwhile, thereis hope where thereis God. I pray for you. *Namaste*

lol, u are still thinking? ok when you are sure come for advice as I fit Don knw wetin to talk as for nw........ goodnight.

Thanks alot everyone i have had some weight lifted from reading all your comments. Just to answer some questions here.
1. me and my husband have always been best friends we had a deep understanding and stuck together thru hard times. i dont know 100% if he had the same traits as he never had enough money to show me who he really was i supported us 80% of the time so maybe he was dependant on me, we also lived far from his friends so the drinking and clubbing wasnt a problem but after marriage we moved only 30mins away from them then the trouble began. Mind u hes the only one that drives so theyl all get drunk them hel drop them to their homes and drive home alone drunk!

My heartache comes from having never imagined that someone who was once my best friend and in the gutter with me hussling for our next meal would abandon me in my biggest time of need, never in a million years. Regardless of past traits and prayer how can u abandon your best friend.

3. He is Yoruba.

I have decided to go through his elder sister maybe he should go for extended vacation to nigeria to clear his head im sure he misses home. I wont tell his mum as she has high BP.

yvelch:
For what it's worth,just knw that marriage isn't abt marrying a perfect somebody....we all had to learn how to adapt. Ur husband may be d worst out of d bunch but it's ur cross, pls carry it with d strength only God can give cos it's not easy....take a break if u may but try work it....most marriages are challenging during d first yr tho

no its not a cross. she reserves the right to live peacefully. i would call for divorce. why shouldn't she be happy? marriage is a gift not a bondage of sorrow. if the man changes then they can remarry.

vfactor:
One of the most painful things in life is a bad marriage and I think that what you re in. In as much as I would like to ask if you didnt notice this behaviours before marrying him, the deed has been done and so it's of no use.

Its gonna take serious reorientation to help your husband drop his entitlement mentality. And I think that's where the problems lies. I am not a champion of divorce, but I think separating for sometime will help both of u. At least u can focus on delivering ur baby safely and he can learn to sort himself out within this period.

Hopefully he will come to realize he's been insensitive and selfish!

to be honest,you speak he truth, that man is blessed with good wife but he's not mature and iresponsible. @op I'm sory and feel your pain. God be with you.

Pathetic. I wonder what you guys were thinking about for 5 good years.

I believe 5 years is more than enough to know if you were meant to be or not. Perhaps you hoped Marriage would change things.

The only miracle that could happen is if your husband becomes as responsible as you want him to. If not, you two are better of, not being together.

May God help you.

I see people copying my posts from 2012 and screen shots if i said my husband was amazing in 2012 its because thats how i saw him he was caring and devoted to our relationship, he smiled more and we played like kids.
I would appreciate people not kicking me wen im already down its spiteful and unnecessary.

for those that said i got married out of desperation im only 25 and he is 29! Weve dated since school and watched eachother graduate and take our next steps, his steps were not as easy which was why i supported him and held on to hope of of things getting better.

Those that said i tolerated him when he had money please note he has never had consistent money because he has never held a job consistantly.

OP,

You are very stupid. In 2012 you were married and looking for names for your kids. In 2015 you are 5 months pregnant and 5 months married. Delusional child, get a life. Quote me and die. Jobless cretin

90love:
I've dated my husband for 5years but only traditionally married for 5 months. For most of our relationship we have had financial difficulty but always manage to keep our head above water.

I'm pregnant and have gestational diabetes meaning sometimes i get very weak so I've been unable to work properly, I am also a final year nursing student. The truth is 80% of the time it's me that bail us out of bad financial crises, my husband has not been able to keep a stable job for as long as I've known him and when he gets his fast money he lavishes it, he doesnt think of the home rather he thinks of clubbing, drinking etc. I never look into his pockets as i think its rude to count people's money but the minute he swindlea his money away he starts to count my money to fund his things such as petrol, club, hosting his family coming from nigeria.

And he has 5 sisters, his young ones are very ill mannered dont do house work or even say good morning. They all take turns throughout the year to come to my house and spend 2weeks to one month Including his mother though i can't complain about her because she's his mother even if she was the worst i can manage her.

None of the above has really bothered me until i came to the realisation that im going to be a mother in less than 18 weeks and i have someone else to care for that is more important. I'm starting to think this man doesn't really love me because when i was terribly sick before finding out about my low iron and diabetes i couldnt get out of bed but he never checked on me instead he would spend all evening and night out with friends and all day sleeping, watching tv and looking for quick money.

I decided to return to my parents and have been here for 2+ months. I am properly looked after and it's only 20minutes away, my so called husband never calls to check on me, he has only initiated phone calls twice and he's asked me for money both times for one thing or another. He has never called my parents to greet them or thank them, it's like he abandoned his responsibility, he openly tells me not to come back because he can't cope with my illnesses.

He's very dissmissive and uncaring but he is also like that with his own family. He never calls them. They're always begging him to call them or i beg him to at least call his mum. I always blame his upbringing because he grew up very entitled with everything handed to him, he doesnt know the value of hard work.

Now we're in a major financial crises because he decided to leave his job. We can't pay the house rent and i have no way of bailing us out because i haven't been active at work due to sickness. I have been looking for a way out but he can't even hold a conversation with me about it. The minute i say something about our current finances, he starts threatening me to switch off the phone and raises his voice (i equally raise mine I'm not innocent because I've had enough) I'm so fed up of him and even the marriage. I don't see how he can ever grow up and i feel like im dragging a dead horse.

Whenever there's crises he becomes very mean and he can't cope, I'm always the strong one and have to find money just so he can be nice to me, which sounds pathetic. He comes from a very good home but blames all his emotional problems on not having his dad in his life but i am not excited to see the kind of dad he will be for his own child.

I feel like i made a mistake marrying him. I have been as supportive as i can be, i dont rub things in his face, i always try and maintain a happy home but I've had enough! How do you fix a situation where you don't respect your husband anymore? I don't believe he deserves my respect apart from him being a financial burden, he's also a serial womaniser i just got tired of doing csi so i turn the other way. I am so fed up and spiraling into deppression the disappointment to both of our families will be huge I've never imagined having a child in a broken home. If this is worth fixing i dont know where to start because my heart is resenting him. How do i explain to people that im leaving my husband of only 5 months?!!!

U might be having hormonal.issues.

After dating 4 5 yrs now 5 months into the marriage now u decide to bail out.


Ur story.is half complete

In this world all women are never at fault even if there.husband is jesus.

baby124:
OP,

You are very stupid. In 2012 you were married and looking for names for your kids. In 2015 you are 5 months pregnant and 5 months married. Delusional child, get a life. Quote me and die. Jobless cretin

my grandma always said "never let a stupid person make u stupid" its more jobless for u to name call someone that hasnt begged u to comment on their post u could have quietly moved on. have a goodnight.x

It is a painful situation , how I wish I can help u but unfortunately,is not possible. I have the following points to raise: 1. I want u to know that it is normal to have certain experience in early life of your marriage. Therefore, if the marriage did not break within the first 5 years, it can,t break again becaus the young family just have to face one challenges or the other . 2. U need to take care of your health to enhance easy delivery. It is very important. 3. Stop given ur 2nd child (husband) money, let him go and hussle to make money. 4. I guess u are weak in prayers,u need to wake up. U need to be strong in ur prayers be it muslim or christan because is the key. 5. I think ur husband is the pampered type from his youghtful days by his parent, so it would be hard for such person to be responsible. Even though u still need to stay with ur parent so that,they can take care of you at least for a while. For me I will never tell or advise u to leave ur husband becus it is a sin before Allah (swt). U need to involve both parents and his own friends (the married ones ) in reorientate,counselling him and I believe he would turn over a new leave. Worthy of note is that,not that I am responsible to that extent but if I make 10k today, my family will gulp at least 7k if not more of it. To me I don't see sense in womanising,drinking and clubbing when u can't take care of ur matrimonial home. Whereas, u are just 2 by the time new baby comes how would he do it ?. My dear sister,don' try breaking home,child suffer alot and at the receiving end. Take care.

roscoman:
It is a painful situation , how I wish I can help u but unfortunately,is not possible. I have the following points to raise: 1. I want u to know that it is normal to have certain experience in early life of your marriage. Therefore, if the marriage did not break within the first 5 years, it can,t break again becaus the young family just have to face one challenges or the other . 2. U need to take care of your health to enhance easy delivery. It is very important. 3. Stop given ur 2nd child (husband) money, let him go and hussle to make money. 4. I guess u are weak in prayers,u need to wake up. U need to be strong in ur prayers be it muslim or christan because is the key. 5. I think ur husband is the pampered type from his youghtful days by his parent, so it would be hard for such person to be responsible. Even though u still need to stay with ur parent so that,they can take care of you at least for a while. For me I will never tell or advise u to leave ur husband becus it is a sin before Allah (swt). U need to involve both parents and his own friends (the married ones ) in reorientate,counselling him and I believe he would turn over a new leave. Worthy of note is that,not that I am responsible to that extent but if I make 10k today, my family will gulp at least 7k if not more of it. To me I don't see sense in womanising,drinking and clubbing when u can't take care of ur matrimonial home. Whereas, u are just 2 by the time new baby comes how would he do it ?. My dear sister,don' try breaking home,child suffer alot and at the receiving end. Take care.

Were both muslims and come from good muslim backgrounds. I havent left my home out of anger rather my husband couldnt help me and i was getting sicker and losing weight quickly. I couldnt stay there deteriorating while he spent his nights out and days sleeping. a huge problem for me is his upbringing but i cant change that its good for parents to want their kids not to go without but spoiling them beyond all reason is something else his mum continues to treat him like a kid wen she comes to our home (example- ive witnessed her pick the bones out of fish for him, feed him meat in between cooking, rub vapor rub on his back wen hes not well, pick his clothes that hel wear) shes a divorcee and calls him her husband theres no way i can tell her i dont like what she is doing because she is his mum and he is the only son.

If he had decent friends that would be good but he sticks to his single friends that do what single guys do there the same guys that he goes out with and allow him to drive home drunk so if something happens to him its me who will have to explain to his mum why i never told her about his habits.

this story u construct the lies well.... u come make ur family saint come make ur in-laws witches... hahahahaha

baby124:
OP,

You are very stupid. In 2012 you were married and looking for names for your kids. In 2015 you are 5 months pregnant and 5 months married. Delusional child, get a life. Quote me and die. Jobless cretin

OP address this issue how can you be expecting a child from 2012 to 2015.

90love:
I've dated my husband for 5years but only traditionally married for 5 months. For most of our relationship we have had financial difficulty but always manage to keep our head above water.

I'm pregnant and have gestational diabetes meaning sometimes i get very weak so I've been unable to work properly, I am also a final year nursing student. The truth is 80% of the time it's me that bail us out of bad financial crises, my husband has not been able to keep a stable job for as long as I've known him and when he gets his fast money he lavishes it, he doesnt think of the home rather he thinks of clubbing, drinking etc. I never look into his pockets as i think its rude to count people's money but the minute he swindlea his money away he starts to count my money to fund his things such as petrol, club, hosting his family coming from nigeria.

And he has 5 sisters, his young ones are very ill mannered dont do house work or even say good morning. They all take turns throughout the year to come to my house and spend 2weeks to one month Including his mother though i can't complain about her because she's his mother even if she was the worst i can manage her.

None of the above has really bothered me until i came to the realisation that im going to be a mother in less than 18 weeks and i have someone else to care for that is more important. I'm starting to think this man doesn't really love me because when i was terribly sick before finding out about my low iron and diabetes i couldnt get out of bed but he never checked on me instead he would spend all evening and night out with friends and all day sleeping, watching tv and looking for quick money.

I decided to return to my parents and have been here for 2+ months. I am properly looked after and it's only 20minutes away, my so called husband never calls to check on me, he has only initiated phone calls twice and he's asked me for money both times for one thing or another. He has never called my parents to greet them or thank them, it's like he abandoned his responsibility, he openly tells me not to come back because he can't cope with my illnesses.

He's very dissmissive and uncaring but he is also like that with his own family. He never calls them. They're always begging him to call them or i beg him to at least call his mum. I always blame his upbringing because he grew up very entitled with everything handed to him, he doesnt know the value of hard work.

Now we're in a major financial crises because he decided to leave his job. We can't pay the house rent and i have no way of bailing us out because i haven't been active at work due to sickness. I have been looking for a way out but he can't even hold a conversation with me about it. The minute i say something about our current finances, he starts threatening me to switch off the phone and raises his voice (i equally raise mine I'm not innocent because I've had enough) I'm so fed up of him and even the marriage. I don't see how he can ever grow up and i feel like im dragging a dead horse.

Whenever there's crises he becomes very mean and he can't cope, I'm always the strong one and have to find money just so he can be nice to me, which sounds pathetic. He comes from a very good home but blames all his emotional problems on not having his dad in his life but i am not excited to see the kind of dad he will be for his own child.

I feel like i made a mistake marrying him. I have been as supportive as i can be, i dont rub things in his face, i always try and maintain a happy home but I've had enough! How do you fix a situation where you don't respect your husband anymore? I don't believe he deserves my respect apart from him being a financial burden, he's also a serial womaniser i just got tired of doing csi so i turn the other way. I am so fed up and spiraling into deppression the disappointment to both of our families will be huge I've never imagined having a child in a broken home. If this is worth fixing i dont know where to start because my heart is resenting him. How do i explain to people that im leaving my husband of only 5 months?!!!

Uhmmmmm. This is deep and touching.

Let me start by saying this that, it's a pity you found yourself here but the reality is that this is where you are now and the next thing is,how do you come out of this situation. There is no point crying over spilled milk.
I am going to talk to you briefly from just two perspective. Some time ago,I had issues with my home too,serious one,but now the storm is over,happiness,joy and peace has been restored to my 10 year old marriage,because I WAS WILLINNG TO WORK ON IT! So that's my first perspective....are you willing to work on it or walk away? Is he willing to work on it or walk away. If you aren't ready to work on your home then forget prayers cos your prayers will be like mockery on God and he doesn't answer such. Then,I was ready to fight for my home,which I did....I fought and won the battle. I can read from your post on NL about Yoruba names that you too needs to work on yourself,you were on a long row with a fellow nl for a long time which tells me that you too needs to get matured and grow up. If your husband is 24,then probably you are younger and so you need to be matured and grow up. You have three major issues ahead of you-marriage,health and pregnancy and the three are life threatening issues. But are you willing? Are you ready for the present and the future?(how I wish I can get to talk to you,J would have explain this better,as I can't possibly write all) While my marriage of 10 years (urs,is just 5 months) I have two other families too going through the same issue and as today the two of them are still going through deep crises,infact deeper ones and the reason is just because the parties involved aren't ready to face the phase. Its after this that you now turn to God in spiritual discussions and deep talk. Its otherwise called prayers but I called it what I called it to give you another perspective to it. I pray that you both come to yourselves on time because of the next generation in your womb now. Because of your health etc. Stay with your folks,save and raise as many funds as you can,prepare for the says ahead cos if it's like this now, it will be another ball game when your baby comes. I care!