₦airaland Forum

marioxklusiv:
tanz....bt u insult a lot.....wat of if de gal does nt even give u her attention

marioxklusiv:
am nt datin her koz i wana av sex wit her, bt i jst like her

ritababe:
go make money


.
.
Alot of money i mean

marioxklusiv:
tanz niga i wil try it

Holudamsel:
Work on ur grammar and focus on the right thing.
Leave women for now and pursue excellent and the ladies will come knocking.

Mystic1:
He's not looking for olosho so shift.
Its only oloshos that believe in money for hand back for ground. Cheerful givers abound everywhere.

ritababe:
and who say only olosho is attracted to money huh

Mystic1:
Op i know you are a small boy and you need somebody to spoon feed you(tell you all what you need to say), but i go still teach you.
This one is for Person wey you just jam for road
You: Hi excuse me.
She: faces you/ says hi too.
You: uhmm, My name is Fo.ol and you are?
She: i am Tayo/ okay fool how may i help you?
You: Uhm, i was actually rushing down the street when you caught my attention, i just decided to come get it back from you.
She: giggles, funny you / bones face.
You: if she bones face, just say.. Ewww, your IQ is so low it can't even take a joke and zoom off before slap wey heavy pass thor hammer locates you.
You: But if she giggles or smiles, then proceed to
You: (if she told you her name is Tayo earlier), So Tayo, is it Omotayo or Oluwatayo(say sumtin even if it doesn't make sense, but don't be stupid)
Her: lol! Its omotayo ooo.
You: but if she didn't tell you her name earlier, you can now ask her. So will you tell me your name now or do i need to write an application letter? Before she replys, say wait lemme guess!! Mmmmmm your name is Funke. The magic here is, you must, i repeat you must make sure you get the name wrong. The reason for guessing is not to prove how smart you are or how brilliant you are, its to get her in a tight corner and force the name out without her knowing.
Her: lol! My name is not funke ooo, its Tayo.
But if she told you here name earlier but you still wanna use my guessing game to prolong convo, you can use the guess thing later and ask if shes first or last born, or her birth month(not birthday ooo/ unless u wan fall maga because she go tell you say na tomorrow or next tomorrow or next week.)
(lemme teach you how to frame those guessing question becos i know say you be mumu)
You: wait lemme guess something about you.
Her: what?
You: you are the last born.
Or you were born in april(because you resemble fool)
if you got the guessing, exclaim!!! Yess!!! I thought i lost my guessing mojo, i'm a good guesser oo.
If you got it wrong, fane sad face and say, ohh God!! I thought i already had the worst day after guessing my last test answers wrongly, now this!! I think i should give up on guessing now.

N.B: Any gal wey no support all this packaging with atleast a smile should be left instantly to avoid 'time wasters and ironly pantified chicks'.

Continue you initial convo by asking her where she's going to, where she lives, give her a soft and funny compliment like "i like you hair, did you make it in iya Bisi's place", she'll laugh i swear.
If were she's going isn't far, you can tell her you want to escort her small( just small a few meters, oga no be miles ooo, because as you mumu reach you fit follow am enter her bf house). Every answer she gives you to any question, learn to say sumtin about that answer.

Now to getting the number because i know mumu like you no sabi that one too;
After you must have talked much and you wanna get the number. There is a stupid funny way and a serious way.
Stupid funny way. So Tayo, i want to come and be going because i think ayam now qualified to get your number.
Serious way.. So Tayo I'll really like to talk to you again soon, just give my your number, i'll call you(hand her your phone) mai stop here for now. If anything dey confuse you here, lemme know, though i know you a fo.ol without liver but ayam willing to help your ministry.


Two...

Mystic1:
Op i know you are a small boy and you need somebody to spoon feed you(tell you all what you need to say), but i go still teach you.
This one is for Person wey you just jam for road
You: Hi excuse me.
She: faces you/ says hi too.
You: uhmm, My name is Fo.ol and you are?
She: i am Tayo/ okay fool how may i help you?
You: Uhm, i was actually rushing down the street when you caught my attention, i just decided to come get it back from you.
She: giggles, funny you / bones face.
You: if she bones face, just say.. Ewww, your IQ is so low it can't even take a joke and zoom off before slap wey heavy pass thor hammer locates you.
You: But if she giggles or smiles, then proceed to
You: (if she told you her name is Tayo earlier), So Tayo, is it Omotayo or Oluwatayo(say sumtin even if it doesn't make sense, but don't be stupid)
Her: lol! Its omotayo ooo.
You: but if she didn't tell you her name earlier, you can now ask her. So will you tell me your name now or do i need to write an application letter? Before she replys, say wait lemme guess!! Mmmmmm your name is Funke. The magic here is, you must, i repeat you must make sure you get the name wrong. The reason for guessing is not to prove how smart you are or how brilliant you are, its to get her in a tight corner and force the name out without her knowing.
Her: lol! My name is not funke ooo, its Tayo.
But if she told you here name earlier but you still wanna use my guessing game to prolong convo, you can use the guess thing later and ask if shes first or last born, or her birth month(not birthday ooo/ unless u wan fall maga because she go tell you say na tomorrow or next tomorrow or next week.)
(lemme teach you how to frame those guessing question becos i know say you be mumu)
You: wait lemme guess something about you.
Her: what?
You: you are the last born.
Or you were born in april(because you resemble fool)
if you got the guessing, exclaim!!! Yess!!! I thought i lost my guessing mojo, i'm a good guesser oo.
If you got it wrong, fane sad face and say, ohh God!! I thought i already had the worst day after guessing my last test answers wrongly, now this!! I think i should give up on guessing now.

N.B: Any gal wey no support all this packaging with atleast a smile should be left instantly to avoid 'time wasters and ironly pantified chicks'.

Continue you initial convo by asking her where she's going to, where she lives, give her a soft and funny compliment like "i like you hair, did you make it in iya Bisi's place", she'll laugh i swear.
If were she's going isn't far, you can tell her you want to escort her small( just small a few meters, oga no be miles ooo, because as you mumu reach you fit follow am enter her bf house). Every answer she gives you to any question, learn to say sumtin about that answer.

Now to getting the number because i know mumu like you no sabi that one too;
After you must have talked much and you wanna get the number. There is a stupid funny way and a serious way.
Stupid funny way. So Tayo, i want to come and be going because i think ayam now qualified to get your number.

Serious way.. So Tayo I'll really like to talk to you again soon, just give my your number, i'll call you(hand her your phone) mai stop here for now. If anything dey confuse you here, lemme know, though i know you a fo.ol without liver but ayam willing to help your ministry.
idiot! see how u dey here dey waste talent, when you suppose don use this thing win Nobel prize for Literature. And you and soyinka na mate. I PITY your life. LOL


Two...

ensign:
.

Olayinka8793:
bro your advice is urgently needed here, https://www.nairaland.com/260310/advice-urgently-needed pls help a brother. Sorry the link will take u to a different thread so pls view my profile and click on my latest topic that bears same name as d link above,am serious bro.

Mystic1:
Weyrey! If i write book about this thing now and i come nairaland say make una buy, shebi you go dey among the people wey go abuse me? I dey give am free of charge now and you still dey abuse me. I go wozz you ooo. LOL

ensign:
You are a certified idiot. shey na nairaland your mates dey sell books wey go win nobel prize. You need to go to your village river to take a thorough cleansing spiritual bath. You are massively been followed like twitter. lol

Mystic1:
I have read your topic, but still don't understand what you really want. That your thread is too crowded and i don't like commenting after page 2 unless person quote me.
Now carry yourself come this side. Is it that you want to woo that sales girl that works for your aunty or you want to learn how to woo any gal? I have to let you know your options are quite limited becos of the little disability you have. Your best chance of quicker success will be sticking with somebody who already knows you.

But if i were in your shoes, lemme tell you what i would have done. I'll stop disturbing myself with the GF thoughts and start working on my convo with people generally, i'll go to a cool place, look for somebody to talk to.
Picture this, you see somebody sitting alone and you just walk up to them and say Hi. If they are standing, stand beside them with a smile, if they are sitting, sit with them with a smile too. Say My guy how far! Whats up na? Are you looking for somebody? Well, i was alone over there and i needed somebody to talk to. My name is yinka, i haven't seen you around here before, are you new? Etc(start with guys first)
As a fellow guy he won't snub you, unless he's gay, insane or maybe you are too erratic. Discuss with him, talk gently so you can hear/feel yourself, him too will reply gently and you'll be able to read his lip more accurately. When you want to leave, you thank him and say you really wanted to improve on your relating with people and chatting with him have made you realise you weren't that bad. Then you shake hands, pat him on the shoulder(guys stuff) and you waka.

This will improve your morale and confidence if you are able to do it with 5 guys. Start with guys because guys won't laugh at a stranger who's struggling to communicate with them, the worst they'll do is walk away. And since its a guy like you, you'll feel lesser or no pressure at all. Remember to always talk gently, calmly and boldly. Because you need to hear yourself before you can hear others well.

If na to woo that your aunty sales girl they hungry you or whatever you might need, just ask me and i will give you a detailed info on what to do or say.

Chidexter:
Lol, Guy you're funny and on point

Mystic1:
shut up and let me finish.

MySay:
Lolz... this bros mean o and funny at thesame time. Nice one Mystic1, I don learn a lot. You too much boss!
But I get small question for you sha
1.My question is how do I keep a convo for a long time without getting a girl bored?
2.I want to be very romantic. Is it something one can learn or is it natural? I want to learn it bro.
A girl a love so much left me because I wasn't romantic enough. Though we re not close anymore we re still friends. But recently she's been getting really close trying to get my attention. She calls often too. I no no waiting she dey fine o. Though no feelings for her anymore, I just wan chop clean mount and I no wan fall my hand again o. I need ya help boss!

ritababe:
and who say only olosho is attracted to money huh

Mystic1:
I go report you give Amadioha ooo. Waka go front now ooo.