₦airaland Forum

Mystic1:
But for this to work, you must be confident ooo. Don't stand before a girl with ur face down staring at your feet ooo.
Look her in the eye, wear a soft smooth smile, learn to demonstrate with your hand, don't stand like iroko, move your hands.
Above all, make sure it doesn't seem like an interrogation or an interview thats why you need to attach things to make her laugh and make her talk withou you asking. Be bold man, no be pu.ssy she get?

bad man

Mystic1, I hail ooo. The power of wittiness should never be under-estimated.

MySay:
Wow! This is epic. You re good bro. Thanks a lot for holding me by the hand. Will report back to ya. Make I sharparly go apply the lesson

I don soak your cane for alcohol. Come back here and tell me say you no succeed, na your body go tell you wassup.

Jtmanager:
Mystic
Well before I comment mk I begin follow u

Baba your boy loyal for here ooo.

Kingsley1000:
bad man

Na una be my mentor ooo.

chocolateme:
I will teach u but first of all answer the following question just to be sure that u have reached the age of wooing a girl and sleeping with her because that's your primary target. But if u can't woo a girl, how then do u intend to sleep with her? Abi I go tutor u on that one too? Now my question:
1: when was Nigeria amalgamated?
2: what was the name of Lord Lugard's girlfriend ? The one that christened us "Nigeria"
3: who was the first Nigerian female pilot?
4: are you a virgin.. Compulsory.

You must be from the past

sconp:
Mystic1, I hail ooo. The power of wittiness should never be under-estimated.

Its simple things like this that Nigerians don't note. Everybody loves witty people, Be witty because it creates a kind of mystery around you.

Emzyme:
Hear my own....all d girls weh i don deh close to deh always tell me say i no sabi flow....say when we deh together...i deh always snub them...first one tell me,2nd,3rd........15th one sef......i even tell one say i love am ...she look me tell me.....and so should i start clapping for u....guy liver fail me...she later tell me say she for don gree sha ....bt i no deh talk and e deh pain am....na wetin all of them deh talk ooo
I no go say i shy....bt even d way i deh waka deh tell me say i shy...bt i no wan believe am.....oya tell me wetin i go do....mystic1

Hmmm... If i begin use words maltreat you now, people go talk say i wicked. And your name wan Enzyme with an 'M' ooo. Wetin you come they catalyse since you no sharp like this?
You and our bros wey invent this gathering na the same class una dey na. BTW, you dey fear to talk? Abi dem go gang up beat you if you talk?
The girl who use you clean floor when you said you love her said it because you didn't say the "i love you" with seriousness. Abeg wait oooo, shey you don toast am before and she agree? Abi you just jump up one day tell am say you love. Reply me first becos this your case be as e get.

E be like say we need to flog you before we attend to your case. Answer first.

kinibigdeal:
You must be from the past

before do I look like I am from the indomie generation like u?

From your words, you lack SELF CONFIDENCE.
All you need is to be yourself don't stammer and always maintain your eye contact.don't rehearse what you want to say. Feel free
girls are an easy species just that breaking the ice seems HERCULEAN

I have a feeling, that its dsame person bhind d op's and mystic1 moniker; because see as mystic1 take over d thread. which eva way mystic u sabi, i don use some of ur patterns b4!
Also make i just add small something...being witty simply means you being corkyy and fvnny at dsame time, no b to dey form basket mouth around woman o. And pls dont try '-wittyness' on ur mum

lapazi:
I have a feeling, that its dsame person bhind d op's and mystic1 moniker; because see as mystic1 take over d thread. which eva way mystic u sabi, i don use some of ur patterns b4!
Also make i just add small something...being witty simply means you being corkyy and fvnny at dsame time, no b to dey form basket mouth around woman o. And pls dont try '-wittyness' on ur mum

Most of you for this forum always miss yarn. How will i use one moniker to form dumb and use another to form badoo. Does it make sense to you or is that the peak of your thinking? What is my gain in doing it? Or you think the guys i am advicing here are paying me? BTW, i never said being witty means cracking jokes. But you are not wrong if you say witty people are funny. I don't know how you and your mum relate, but i use wit with my mum and we all laugh about it.

Mystic1, hw i wan take start sef....ok i been neva chyke am...bt she been knw wetin deh board...we no too deh talk lyk dat...bt when i call her on phone.....she go deh tell me make i talk...na because of her i even start midnyt call....mumu me start my own by 12pm....see our conv
Ring ring.......she cum pick
Me: hi
X: hi....
Me:hw was ur day
X:cul urs
Me: were u sleeping
X:yes
Me:hope i did nt disturb u( running out of ideas...
X: u wanted to tell me something
Na nw d real gbege start
Me:em..em.em.em.em.....lyk seriously
X: wat........
5..10.15mins later
X: u dont want to talk ba...i want to slp good nyt
Me: ok goodnyt
Na so d vonv been deh for one week i come Man up...go beer palour take 3bottles gather morale......go her syd ....d drink wash comot for my eye.....i jst talk d...i love u as e take b na.........i no try.....e easy

Emzyme:
Mystic1,[s]hw i wan take start sef....ok i been neva chyke am...bt she been knw wetin deh board...we no too deh talk lyk dat...bt when i call her on phone.....she go deh tell me make i talk...na because of her i even start midnyt call....mumu me start my own by 12pm....see our conv
Ring ring.......she cum pick
Me: hi
X: hi....
Me:hw was ur day
X:cul urs
Me: were u sleeping
X:yes
Me:hope i did nt disturb u( running out of ideas...
X: u wanted to tell me something
Na nw d real gbege start
Me:em..em.em.em.em.....lyk seriously
X: wat........
5..10.15mins later
X: u dont want to talk ba...i want to slp good nyt
Me: ok goodnyt
Na so d vonv been deh for one week i come Man up...go beer palour take 3bottles gather morale......go her syd ....d drink wash comot for my eye.....i jst talk d...i love u as e take b na.........i no try.....e easy[/s]

See this guy ooo. You think say na joke we dey joke here? The only truth wey you type here na that my name wey you call. Gerarahere mehn!!!

Mystic1:
shut up and let me finish.

thahahaha

Emzyme
I know say you no get sense before but if wetin you just tell everybody for here na true, mehn you need to go for proper cleansing.
What i understand is that you're suffering from chronic shyness(e don paralyze your mouth), how can somebody be that clueless? The girl in question really likes you ooo and would have agreed to date you, all you needed to do was call her out, tell her one or two lines face to face and she's yours, mumu like you come dey wake girl for midnight dey even ask am say shey she dey sleep? Na winch she be? Abi you want am to dey pick beans for mid night? On top that sef you no know wetin to talk.

See guy you need to leave your comfort zone and man up. Everything can't come to you while you sit and make yourself comfortable. You have to get up and take the bull by the horn. If that girl is still available, there's nothing left to do since she likes you, she is a wise girl for snubbing you when you told her you love her, somebody you can't even talk to over the phone? Common man, you should be more than this.
If she's still available, call her this morning and tell her you'd like to see her, choose a date that suits you and time, but as you mumu reach, i know say you no fit book this date ooo because words they fear your mouth(abi na your mouth they fear words) but i go still help your ministry. Call her and follow this:
You: Hello Dami its me oponu
Dami: i know.
You: whats up and how you doing?
Her: I'm fine/ i'm fine and you.
*I don't really know, but lets assume you haven't seen her for a while
you: where have you been, i haven't seen you for a while
her: I've been around ooo
You: around where?
Her: my house/work/my area.
You: wow! And i haven't been seeing you, how's work?/home/ur area.
Her: fine oo we thank God.
You: uhm, will you be free on sunday? Lets say 6pm 7pm?
Her: Her yes any problem / No i have to......
If she said yes then continue....
You: Should there be a problem before i ask if you'll be free?
Her: No its not like that ooo.
You: Okay, i want us to have a time out together. Its been long we sat together to talk. How about we meet at egbami junction(the tantilizer at my backyard, or any eatery not too far. Abi mai suggest eateries for you join because your liver fit fail you this moment)
*You see the last things you said, you didn't ask her if she can go out with you and were you should meet. You told her you want to see her and she should come and meet you at...(you didn't give her a chance to reject. The only thing she can do is to adjust the time).
Her: okay there's no problem.
*why i chose night is because shy guys are more confident when its dark, and some eatries sabi fashion their place for night with dim lights, making the atmostphere very serene.
You: okay i have to go know, take care of yourself. (Its done).

..................................... But if its that the girl said she doesn't have time on that date you suggested, go this way>>
You: ahh!! Too bad, i really wanted us to have a time out together, you know its been long we sat together to talk.
Her: she might suggest another time, if its okay by you, agree and suggest the place to meet(oga if you get work wey go give you money that day, no agree ooo).
But if she doesn't suggest, just continue with....
You: so when will you have time?
Her: today / i don't think i have time.
If she gives you a date then continue with the arrangement,
but if her answer is that other one, my broda, you,me and every other person here no need woli agba to tell us say your time done expire and the babe don move on, she done tire for you mumunity.
Just tell her say okay, take care of yourself then and bye.

While talking over the phone, be calm, talk gently, no dey rush unless you go jam talk ooo(unless say na #100 airtime you dey borrow from MTN). Take your time and talk at your pace, put your mouth close to the mouthpiece so she'll hear your voice clearly and you avoid the embarrasment of come again, what are you saying etc..
Go and book this date first then come back for how to execute the date. Incase you no get money to carry her commot, lemme know too, make we re-strategize.

Emzyme, you see time wey i take post that thing bah. If you are unable to do it, i will wake up that same time tomorrow, not to give you another advice, but to swear for you.


While talking on the phone, listen to her, she might be somebody different from the girl i've imagined, she might talk more. Listen to whatever she's saying, pick from her words and ask her question, and always use her name, dami are you, what is this dami, dami do you..... Things like that( i no tell you to start singing her name ooo, becos i no just trust you. use it at intervals).

Mystic1:
Most of you for this forum always miss yarn. How will i use one moniker to form dumb and use another to form badoo. Does it make sense to you or is that the peak of your thinking? What is my gain in doing it? Or you think the guys i am advicing here are paying me? BTW, i never said being witty means cracking jokes. But you are not wrong if you say witty people are funny. I don't know how you and your mum relate, but i use wit with my mum and we all laugh about it.

Guy calm down

Mystic1:
I done tire to type. If you have any question, ask me here i will answer you. No mind all this Nairaland ashawo boys that are laughing at you. Them no sabi anything as you see them ooo. Person go ask for their help, na to they ask foolish questions and laugh at the person them sabi.

U dey here dey form online badoo. Why dont we go to d cinemas and watch u pull all this ur bulletin stunt huh

macklef:
U dey here dey form online badoo. Why dont we go to d cinemas and watch u pull all this ur bulletin stunt huh

People like you are the problems wey we get for naija ooo. Op ask kweshion, you no fit reply, another person tell op wetin him go do, you talk say na online badoo. Okay i don hear you

I think i should just call it off here, atleast i have put up enough for people to learn from.
Some people on nairaland i'm not sure are the real humans i meet offline. One first accused me of being the op, another one from no where have come to say i'm an online badoo. What is it that i have written here that is so hard to do? I am sure this is the same thing that Charles Nnaji will tell you to buy his e-book for and many will buy. Xxxtedyxxx also had a thread where he helped guys out. Don't you guys see your fellow guys who change babes like boxers? Big big babes ooo, haven't you heard or seen babes that pay guys house rent? Do you think this guys perform magic? Is it because you no sabi mean say another person no go sabi ni?
In life, when you walk on water, a hater will say its because the water is not deep. When you get a big job they'll say its because you know somebody. They'll never believe you achieved something through your ability.
Peace am out.

UniqueGem:
"Pursue Excellent"?
You kidding right? And you're here asking the OP to work on his grammar. SMH

Make sure you continue to shake your head till if falls off.

UniqueGem:
"Pursue Excellent"?
You kidding right? And you're here asking the OP to work on his grammar. SMH

Make sure you continue to shake your head till if falls off.
There is a difference between making typographical error and making grammatical blunders.

Critics like you only look pass the good, I made a straight and honest correction to the op but what did you do?...quit finding faults when what you only want is to get noticed.

Mystic1:
People like you are the problems wey we get for naija ooo. Op ask kweshion, you no fit reply, another person tell op wetin him go do, you talk say na online badoo. Okay i don hear you

Lol. No, pipu like u are d problems of naija ooo, just like NOI n Gej u guys know how to achieve on paper. Action dey say speaks louder dan words.

I no jab u o, but u too dey para, u dnt have to sound as harsh as u do in ur comments,
Dey may be brilliant, but its not sinking in with ur attitude.
JustSaying

Best answer so far

Holudamsel:
Work on ur grammar and focus on the right thing.
Leave women for now and pursue excellence and the ladies will come knocking.

All dis guyz sef ...mystic1 jst deh try help....if u no lyk am oya drop ya own ,advice abi na suggestions no b to dey display una village pple attitude for nairaland...haba......una problem don deh enter 16 terrabyte ooo

Oga mystic1 i don note da one ....

Case 2
F....
Met her after a lecture...i use ma guy influencetake yarn some kind tinz....hi, where do u stay....coincidentally she deh stay for abj same as me.....i cum lyk yarn am say when she deh house she deh comot....dat kind tin....as per say na 1st yr i she b....i collect her number say i gp call am....call ke when i no get credit
Dat nyt i follow my guy go their hostel...i come jam am for step...na so i use style follow am go her room with d guy.....na d guy jst deh talk...me deh add..em...yes...serious...deh nod head lyk agama
..........d guy come code comot say him deh go house...me nd d g come comot , she say she wan go meditate ....fear catch me bt i maintain...i come talk say i wan follow ..make i see dis kind meditation.... We waka go 1 serene syd lyk dat she start to deh talk....i don read wher dem sqy make guys deh listen when g deh talk...nd as e come b say me na shy born master....perfect ...i jst deh answer...yes ..hmm..so .exactly
Day 2...later i call am as i promise talk small.... Cum tell am say make we see...she gree ...na nw i come dully receive d spirit of shyness....i no even talk pkakam...i jst deh nod....she come deh vex say i deh snub am...i wan talk oo.bt i no knw hw d tin go sound..hw she go take...am and i no sabi ...i deh shy
Day 4/5..
I call am again say make we see she say she no deh available say she get frnd weh wan see am dat nyt............
Make i no bore una with this boring tory
.....bt mystic1

I go high one day lyk dat with my frnd weh jst grad....e come talk say him wan go girls hostel go see person make i follow am..i call am say i wan cum see am.she talk say she wan go jack 4 nyt......i say k...bt me go reach dat hostel dat nyt....i vex small...she wan go nyt clas..hw many minutes i go spend with am..weh she no fit hst spare....sha reach there d nigga call one girl commot ..dat day d beer no fail me ...i drh flow lyk say na me invent chyking....d gal sef deh laugh ...chai i deh feel myself..i even use style tap enough current...take pics with d g....as we deh talk na so d gl(x)2) jst shw she deh withguy...leave am come meet me come deh tell me say she no go d nyt class again...i come talk ok...come tell am say person deh wait for u na...dat kind tin...make she no keep am waitin...
She comot me continue my yarn with d person weh i deh with....as we deh comot...i come see (x)2) with dat guy deh D HOLY KISSING POSITION......my heart jerk....me way tink say dis girl even lyk me sef.....beer wash comot for my eye....i reach house ..go buy mcdowell drink ...lament small foolishly come sleep......bt

Mystic1:
MYsay
On the being Romantic Question. Being Romantic is relative. What this one considers romantic, another might find it weird and not romantic. But you can always try and improve but not change who you are.
One thing you should know is that girls no matter how big love little little things and silly things too. They like somebody who's tough and unshaken too.
Lemme share this with you, there was a girl i dated before, i'll say i tricked my way into her subconciousness because my name was always on her lips, whenever she's talking with another guy and the guy says something funny, she'll be like mystic you'll not kill me. My name comes out of her mouth whenever she wants to pronounce somebody elses name. She told me after she returned from visiting her cousins that they wanted to meet me, i said why, and she said its becos she wouldn't stop calling my name whenever she wants to call any of them. So they were like who's this mystic sef.
Now the only thing i did on her was just being unpredictable and i planted myself in her mind, when others are praising her, do not praise her, be witty and soft with it, she might dress up and ask you how she looks, stare at her and say as far as other guys don't find you beautiful enough to take you from me, i'm fine with the dress(say it with a smile ooo, else na luth dem go pay you visit ooo).
There is something i always do. Whenever i am going to see a girl or walking with a girl, i always look out for beautiful grasses, those ones like flower. I'll pluck one and give it to her(they like it i swear) it makes them laugh. If she wants to form, tell her you want to form for me abi? Wait joor then cut the flower/grasss/weed low and help her attach it to her hair. When going to her house, cut a bit of the flower/beautiful grass in her compound, hide it behind your back, when she opens the door, give it to her. Make it a habit and always help her put it in her care rack if she has one. Atimes pretend and not go with any, when you get to her house fane sadness and whe she asks, tell her you've been moving from one bush to the other just to find her flowers but couldn't find any(oga i no tell you to go waka inside bush truly ooo, becos i no trust you. You fit talk say mystic said i should walk inside bush before going to see her). This things are childish but thats what they like, they love little rubbish things like this.

Learn to be very witty, because its only an olodo girl that hates witty guys. Never give full compliment, always reserve some and do not allow girls control your decision. You might think you are doing a girl a favour by doing whatever she says, but you are actually making yourself and opinion irrelevant and believe me my broda, once you're irrelevent in the sight of a woman, no amount of magic will remove you from there ooo. Na for life be that ooo.

Practice being witty with your sisters, your and your mum. I'm naturally witty from childhood, never knew it was called wit sef until i started balling. And always open the door for her and adjust her sit when you take her out but on another date, when you get to the door, don't open it. Stand and stare at her and say "you no go open door?" when she opens it, smile, hold her by the side or hold her hand and walk in with her. You can do it when you want to sit too, tell her to adjust the chair for you to sit. When you want to place an oder, order for what you want and ask the waiter to bring water for her that she's not hungry. The waiter will probably know you're joking and laugh(unless say he clueless like the new chief of army staff Buratai who is always avoiding boko haram but prefers to play with snakes). Then tell the waiter to bring her whatever you know she likes. While eating you can make stu.pid suggestions like 'let us do first to finish'(in a public place) if she agreesñ don't back down, rush your food for a while then start gasping then tell her you give up. You can't compete with her when it comes to food.

All this i've written have been used by me, they are tested and trusted unless na ogbanje you meet. You can ask if you need more clearification.

boss,I just used one of your tricks to catch two fishes....'Kudos




Pls are u on watsapp

Holudamsel:
Make sure you continue to shake your head till if falls off.
There is a difference between making typographical error and making grammatical blunders.

Critics like you only look pass the good, I made a straight and honest correction to the op but what did you do?...quit finding faults when what you only want is to get noticed.

Now, just take a good look at this stu.pid who.re. Why are you getting so defensive? Did i say something wrong? You criticised the OP first by picking on his grammar instead of addressing his problem and now you turn around to call me a critic? Like seriously? Are you trying to play the victim here or what?
Apes like you should note that while picking on peoples blunders, you won't be forgiven if you make a mistake in the process.
And for your own good Imbec!le, it's 'Look past' not 'Look pass' (maybe that's a typo too).

Guys pls endeavour to save this page,u won't regret u did

Mystic1:
Na una be my mentor ooo.

I've got the money,with this ur tutorials,babes 4my school don suffer