₦airaland Forum

chocolateme:
before do I look like I am from the indomie generation like u?

Indomie generation

kinibigdeal:
Indomie generation

lol

chocolateme:
lol

Whatever that means

Emzyme:
Mystic1, hw i wan take start sef....ok i been neva chyke am...bt she been knw wetin deh board...we no too deh talk lyk dat...bt when i call her on phone.....she go deh tell me make i talk...na because of her i even start midnyt call....mumu me start my own by 12pm....see our conv
Ring ring.......she cum pick
Me: hi
X: hi....
Me:hw was ur day
X:cul urs
Me: were u sleeping
X:yes
Me:hope i did nt disturb u( running out of ideas...
X: u wanted to tell me something
Na nw d real gbege start
Me:em..em.em.em.em.....lyk seriously
X: wat........
5..10.15mins later
X: u dont want to talk ba...i want to slp good nyt
Me: ok goodnyt
Na so d vonv been deh for one week i come Man up...go beer palour take 3bottles gather morale......go her syd ....d drink wash comot for my eye.....i jst talk d...i love u as e take b na.........i no try.....e easy

my man,na u mumu pass....._u needs serious deliverance

Kingsley1000 wetin na.....i no sabi na...wetin u want make i do ....oga mystic1 where u deh....
Abeg na true ooo.where and when d deliverance deh take place...make i start deh prep...any materials needed....lol

Mystic1:
Emzyme
I know say you no get sense before but if wetin you just tell everybody for here na true, mehn you need to go for proper cleansing.
What i understand is that you're suffering from chronic shyness(e don paralyze your mouth), how can somebody be that clueless? The girl in question really likes you ooo and would have agreed to date you, all you needed to do was call her out, tell her one or two lines face to face and she's yours, mumu like you come dey wake girl for midnight dey even ask am say shey she dey sleep? Na winch she be? Abi you want am to dey pick beans for mid night? On top that sef you no know wetin to talk.

See guy you need to leave your comfort zone and man up. Everything can't come to you while you sit and make yourself comfortable. You have to get up and take the bull by the horn. If that girl is still available, there's nothing left to do since she likes you, she is a wise girl for snubbing you when you told her you love her, somebody you can't even talk to over the phone? Common man, you should be more than this.
If she's still available, call her this morning and tell her you'd like to see her, choose a date that suits you and time, but as you mumu reach, i know say you no fit book this date ooo because words they fear your mouth(abi na your mouth they fear words) but i go still help your ministry. Call her and follow this:
You: Hello Dami its me oponu
Dami: i know.
You: whats up and how you doing?
Her: I'm fine/ i'm fine and you.
*I don't really know, but lets assume you haven't seen her for a while
you: where have you been, i haven't seen you for a while
her: I've been around ooo
You: around where?
Her: my house/work/my area.
You: wow! And i haven't been seeing you, how's work?/home/ur area.
Her: fine oo we thank God.
You: uhm, will you be free on sunday? Lets say 6pm 7pm?
Her: Her yes any problem / No i have to......
If she said yes then continue....
You: Should there be a problem before i ask if you'll be free?
Her: No its not like that ooo.
You: Okay, i want us to have a time out together. Its been long we sat together to talk. How about we meet at egbami junction(the tantilizer at my backyard, or any eatery not too far. Abi mai suggest eateries for you join because your liver fit fail you this moment)
*You see the last things you said, you didn't ask her if she can go out with you and were you should meet. You told her you want to see her and she should come and meet you at...(you didn't give her a chance to reject. The only thing she can do is to adjust the time).
Her: okay there's no problem.
*why i chose night is because shy guys are more confident when its dark, and some eatries sabi fashion their place for night with dim lights, making the atmostphere very serene.
You: okay i have to go know, take care of yourself. (Its done).

..................................... But if its that the girl said she doesn't have time on that date you suggested, go this way>>
You: ahh!! Too bad, i really wanted us to have a time out together, you know its been long we sat together to talk.
Her: she might suggest another time, if its okay by you, agree and suggest the place to meet(oga if you get work wey go give you money that day, no agree ooo).
But if she doesn't suggest, just continue with....
You: so when will you have time?
Her: today / i don't think i have time.
If she gives you a date then continue with the arrangement,
but if her answer is that other one, my broda, you,me and every other person here no need woli agba to tell us say your time done expire and the babe don move on, she done tire for you mumunity.
Just tell her say okay, take care of yourself then and bye.

While talking over the phone, be calm, talk gently, no dey rush unless you go jam talk ooo(unless say na #100 airtime you dey borrow from MTN). Take your time and talk at your pace, put your mouth close to the mouthpiece so she'll hear your voice clearly and you avoid the embarrasment of come again, what are you saying etc..
Go and book this date first then come back for how to execute the date. Incase you no get money to carry her commot, lemme know too, make we re-strategize.

baba u need to charge this guy.if I were u,I wouldn't unleash these things free

Oya kingsley1000 wetin deh work u na....abi dat old woman for ur village don pick ur remote...haha....no try dis kind tin oooo....if not i go pray make God share dis spirit of shyness into give 2 give u d bigher portion......wetin na!!!

Kingsley1000:
baba u need to charge this guy.if I were u,I wouldn't unleash these things free

Azin proper fees o...
But still increase the insults o...
Cause u wan dead me with laugh

Emzyme:
Oga mystic1 i don note da one ....

Case 2
F....
Met her after a lecture...i use ma guy influencetake yarn some kind tinz....hi, where do u stay....coincidentally she deh stay for abj same as me.....i cum lyk yarn am say when she deh house she deh comot....dat kind tin....as per say na 1st yr i she b....i collect her number say i gp call am....call ke when i no get credit
Dat nyt i follow my guy go their hostel...i come jam am for step...na so i use style follow am go her room with d guy.....na d guy jst deh talk...me deh add..em...yes...serious...deh nod head lyk agama
..........d guy come code comot say him deh go house...me nd d g come comot , she say she wan go meditate ....fear catch me bt i maintain...i come talk say i wan follow ..make i see dis kind meditation.... We waka go 1 serene syd lyk dat she start to deh talk....i don read wher dem sqy make guys deh listen when g deh talk...nd as e come b say me na shy born master....perfect ...i jst deh answer...yes ..hmm..so .exactly
Day 2...later i call am as i promise talk small.... Cum tell am say make we see...she gree ...na nw i come dully receive d spirit of shyness....i no even talk pkakam...i jst deh nod....she come deh vex say i deh snub am...i wan talk oo.bt i no knw hw d tin go sound..hw she go take...am and i no sabi ...i deh shy
Day 4/5..
I call am again say make we see she say she no deh available say she get frnd weh wan see am dat nyt............
Make i no bore una with this boring tory
.....bt mystic1

my brother avoid using abbreviations,write the words in full and make it spacious for easy comprehension.....*abi you are also shy while writing

Shebi una see the kind sef righteous weyrey people wey we get for nairaland. When them open this thread, nobody come here yarn better thing ooo, when Mystic come begin package the parol for us free of charge, them oloribus come dey enter show anyhow. Now wey Mystic1 don vex comot, i dey wait for them wey sabi pass to come and continue teaching us. Iranu

UniqueGem:
Now, just take a good look at this stu.pid who.re. Why are you getting so defensive? Did i say something wrong? You criticised the OP first by picking on his grammar instead of addressing his problem and now you turn around to call me a critic? Like seriously? Are you trying to play the victim here or what?
Apes like you should note that while picking on peoples blunders, you won't be forgiven if you make a mistake in the process.
And for your own good Imbec!le, it's 'Look past' not 'Look pass' (maybe that's a typo too).

ode...

Emzyme:
Oya kingsley1000 wetin deh work u na....abi dat old woman for ur village don pick ur remote...haha....no try dis kind tin oooo....if not i go pray make God share dis spirit of shyness into give 2 give u d bigher portion......wetin na!!!

my brother,I was once in ur shoes,am old now,so am more acquinted with rudiments of dating


Courtesy of awful experiences I had

macklef:
Lol. No, pipu like u are d problems of naija ooo, just like NOI n Gej u guys know how to achieve on paper. Action dey say speaks louder dan words.

I no jab u o, but u too dey para, u dnt have to sound as harsh as u do in ur comments,
Dey may be brilliant, but its not sinking in with ur attitude.
JustSaying

You see your life? The people he was advicing and insulting did not complain ooo. Its you from nowhere thats complaining. The insults were even whats making it more fun becos i know he doesn't mean all that, its just for the fun of it. Oya come and take mantle and lecture us, you've earned it.

Slyder:
You see your life? The people he was advicing and insulting did not complain ooo. Its you from nowhere thats complaining. The insults were even whats making it more fun becos i know he doesn't mean all that, its just for the fun of it. Oya come and take mantle and lecture us, you've earned it.

Lol. Ok, where do u want me to start from.
Mystic1 is my boy

Holudamsel:
ode...

Hurt Much? Bastard, next time you'll be wiser shuting your gulp.

macklef:
Lol. Ok, where do u want me to start from.
Mystic1 is my boy

You no see all the question wey full here? You still dey ask?

UniqueGem:
Hurt Much? Bastard, next time you'll be wiser shuting your gulp.

you sound more hurt dear. you can pass a message without the insult, try to learn.

Mystic1:
See this guy ooo. You think say na joke we dey joke here? The only truth wey you type here na that my name wey you call. Gerarahere mehn!!!

guy u're talented. If I had noticed you earlier, you see ministry of women affairs?na you for head am. But no wahala sha u're good. Some guys know all these buh never can spend their time to share it! Thumbs up bro.

Mystic1:
I have read your topic, but still don't understand what you really want. That your thread is too crowded and i don't like commenting after page 2 unless person quote me.
Now carry yourself come this side. Is it that you want to woo that sales girl that works for your aunty or you want to learn how to woo any gal? I have to let you know your options are quite limited becos of the little disability you have. Your best chance of quicker success will be sticking with somebody who already knows you.

But if i were in your shoes, lemme tell you what i would have done. I'll stop disturbing myself with the GF thoughts and start working on my convo with people generally, i'll go to a cool place, look for somebody to talk to.
Picture this, you see somebody sitting alone and you just walk up to them and say Hi. If they are standing, stand beside them with a smile, if they are sitting, sit with them with a smile too. Say My guy how far! Whats up na? Are you looking for somebody? Well, i was alone over there and i needed somebody to talk to. My name is yinka, i haven't seen you around here before, are you new? Etc(start with guys first)
As a fellow guy he won't snub you, unless he's gay, insane or maybe you are too erratic. Discuss with him, talk gently so you can hear/feel yourself, him too will reply gently and you'll be able to read his lip more accurately. When you want to leave, you thank him and say you really wanted to improve on your relating with people and chatting with him have made you realise you weren't that bad. Then you shake hands, pat him on the shoulder(guys stuff) and you waka.

This will improve your morale and confidence if you are able to do it with 5 guys. Start with guys because guys won't laugh at a stranger who's struggling to communicate with them, the worst they'll do is walk away. And since its a guy like you, you'll feel lesser or no pressure at all. Remember to always talk gently, calmly and boldly. Because you need to hear yourself before you can hear others well.

If na to woo that your aunty sales girl they hungry you or whatever you might need, just ask me and i will give you a detailed info on what to do or say.

thanks for taking the time to offer your useful opinions bro,however your last paragraph is my main concern i mean teach me how to get this girl to be my girlfriend despite my ear problem,pls note that lip reading is not 100 percent effective for me so i want to know whether i should take a pen and notepad with me so she can write down anything she says which i may not understand well,i seriously want dis girl and fortunately she has no boyfriend yet,also pls don't ask me to involved my twin sister or my aunty to woo her cos my twin sister has travelled and my aunty is a no nonsense woman whom i respect a lot,thanks in advance.

Tallesty1:
I don't think it is right to just approach a woman you barely know and start talking nonsense.

I won't take you serious if I were her.

The best way is to get close to her, plant the seed of friendship and watch what it grow into.

And watch it grow into a friend zone situation right.. My advice is go straight to the point tell her mind and knw u faith, which is either NO or YES. No long tin

Collinsiweadi:
And watch it grow into a friend zone situation right.. My advice is go straight to the point tell her mind and knw u faith, which is either NO or YES. No long tin

he's right,relationship starts from friendship,u cant just see a stranger and ask her out......do that at ur own peril

come lte me teach u.... come closer i wana whisper in ur ear....*slaps him twice* where were u when odas were learnin how to spin a lady

[color=#990000][/color] then join matic university of dating....itz a gud college 2 learn abt datin........

Mystic1 come here now before i curse you now.

mystic mystic mystic how many tyms i call u. i go swear for u oh.p

Mystic1:
You: Get back to your table and drop the stuff, if its the 5alive, drop it and and sit down, then bone and look at her and say. 'are we waiting for the bell before we start?' open it joor.(allowing her to open it makes her more comfortable and it shows you guys are clicking) you can get meat pie or any snack too. Just feed a bi.tch pls.
You: I hope you like it. If you hear No. Stand up, pack your drinks, give her waka and go to your guys table and drink it with them while shes watching and you guys should be drinking it, looking at her direction and laughing at her.
You: while the drinking is ongoing, then start asking her things, you can then introduce the gussing game, ask her were she lives, what she does, etc. Make sure she's responding and not just nodding like agama.
Okay before i forget, the movie bulletin wey you carry was actually meant to force yourself into her if she wasn't responding well when you approached her, you would have shown it to her and just told her that you came here to see a movie but u're confused on which to see. Place it on the table and she should suggest for you, while she's checking the one to pick, then point at some saying, i've seen this, this , and also this ones before(even if you haven't its all for the talks). Then wen she picks for you, you can now start asking her what she's doing here, then proceed.
After you guys are done and you no get topic again (even if you have, remember you shouldn't keep a bro waiting becos of a Hoe') Point to your friends and tell her you guys are about leaving. Tell her you enjoyed her company and then ask for her number. She will give you. Go back to your frnds, no celebrate their ooo becos i know you well well. Move to a safer location, collect your money from them there and then becos if you adhere to Smart no worry i go give you when we reach house, na sara be that ooo. Collect your money, go to another floor of the same building and use another style to package another babe. Make sure you get atleast two before living there.
Betting with your friend and your determination to toast is what spured you to conquer your worst fear. See girls as normal human and not some kind of god.

lala.pls fp

Mystic1:
I done tire to type. If you have any question, ask me here i will answer you. No mind all this Nairaland ashawo boys that are laughing at you. Them no sabi anything as you see them ooo. Person go ask for their help, na to they ask foolish questions and laugh at the person them sabi.

nice one

good tips

They don't learn or practice it.Just walk up to her and ask her name,residential address,and tell her you like her shikena.No be further maths.Also be prepare for rejection as well.Cos it's part of the game.

Kingsley1000:
he's right,relationship starts from friendship,u cant just see a stranger and ask her out......do that at ur own peril

what about runs girls like?That one na sharperly.

Love Machine:
what about runs girls like?That one na sharperly.

even runs girl,all their brains are programmed the same way,once u start by singing love lullaby,it sends a signal to her that all u want is her KPEKUS

Love Machine:
They don't learn or practice it.Just walk up to her and ask her name,residential address,and tell her you like her shikena.No be further maths.Also be prepare for rejection as well.Cos it's part of the game.

is advicable you start making her a friend,with time,you escalate/elevate the status quo