₦airaland Forum

nouvelle:
Hmm, let me see...i've never thought about that. Ok, it's funny because the mutant I admire the power the most I don't like her character, especially when she became older- mystique. I admire her 'changeability' the way she can become anyone and adapt to any environment. It's a good survival skill but sadly, she's too mean.

Haha...I knew it! I was almost gonna suggest mystique b4 but I said let me allow u talk first. Don't worry, I'm sure if u had her skills u would be less mean...and less unclad too

Sparkles003:
Honestly you just spoke the tboughts of 95% of women

Hmm, tanx for being so honest.

Hello everyone! Good to be here briefly. Like I noticed,a lot of pple have joined us here,happy to see that. Hope we're doing great? @nouvelle,how are u ma'am? Thanks for ur kind words. @Toks2008,strongest man ever liveth,ki lo n popping? Strenght is urs o. @Halexito,hope ur day is goin fine?
Promise on my next post I shall adress each by his or her name,lemme go look for paper and pen(dis time I promise,lol)
Enjoy the rest of your day y'all. Plenty hugs and kisses,muah!

klassic:
When I was 14/15,my dad sat me down as a son and said"my son, the sooner you realise the fact that you are a man, the easier life will be for u. One day, you will marry & raise a family. You will have the sole responsibility of providing for your family and giving them the best of what life has to offer. If you do this, your wife will love and cherish you, she will forget your name and still call you honey, darling, sugar pie, daddy, baby, etc, at age 60.But remember, you must strive to make things better cos if you fail, you become"Mr. Man, papa John, she remembers your full names and always ask ; y did I marry you, the juju u used for me has failed and you become a useless, good for nothing man, she starts comparing you with your mates, forgetting the good times so soon. If she is totally heartless, she starts sleeping around with your friends and other men who can take care of her needs. She denies you everything the marriage has to offer and you feel worthless before her as she will turn the kids against you.
So my son work twice as hard as your mates, work while they work and work while they sleep. Remember you have loads of time to rest and sleep when you are dead. Even if you die young, make sure you leave enough to make your family comfortable. For in doing all these, you earn their respect even in death. # Our Fathers advice #no woman loves penniless man. #No money no love. #No money no honey. #in a woman world, it's God first, make money and don't stop, cos the only language they Understand is money.

I read all wrote here.

If you make all this money, and confidently get married. along the line you have misfortune, and lost all your money. What will happen? will you stop being the man of the house? the head of the house?


Oga, It takes more than money in marriage for your woman to respect you. Respect comes from how you carry your home, your values, your morals, etc.

Our prayer should be God give us a peaceful home with the right partner.

udysweet:
Hello everyone! Good to be here briefly. Like I noticed,a lot of pple have joined us here,happy to see that. Hope we're doing great? @nouvelle,how are u ma'am? Thanks for ur kind words. @Toks2008,strongest man ever liveth,ki lo n popping? Strenght is urs o. @Halexito,hope ur day is goin fine?
Promise on my next post I shall adress each by his or her name,lemme go look for paper and pen(dis time I promise,lol)
Enjoy the rest of your day y'all. Plenty hugs and kisses,muah!

Afi igba ti awom mod yii move thread yi lo si dating and meet up zone. Oga o

bleble14:
@Xkris11, please it is not an endless dream, just open ur heart and be positive. It is well.

Always open and positive but at the end ...

The truth is in marriage, when the man has a good/ high paying job, or biz is doing fine, the man is always respected cos he can provide family needs/finance amongst others. But when things goes south, the wife is a very caring and understanding woman, she will endure for a while and bear with the man hoping things will bounce back, the longer it takes for things to bounce back, the more she is tired of waiting. She gradually losses her patience, quarrel, abuse and insults sets in, if not verbally, body language says it all.
Shortly verbal insult follows suit, comparism becomes the other of the day. Soon the man is forced to act as a man, hits her, she involves the already angry kids( who are already angry at their dad, becos like he cant provide for them like their friends dad). Soon she turns the kids against the man. The man becomes lonely, frustration and desperation sets in. Lets end it here today.
@ missbronze, still in doubt, ask Job's wife what happened to the love she once shared with the husband job when his affliction got worse. I rise

missbronze:
I read all wrote here.

If you make all this money, and confidently get married. along the line you have misfortune, and lost all your money. What will happen? will you stop being the man of the house? the head of the house?


Oga, It takes more than money in marriage for your woman to respect you. Respect comes from how you carry your home, your values, your morals, etc.

Our prayer should be God give us a peaceful home with the right partner.

Toks2008:
Its really amazing how ladies fear the possibility of remaining unmarried for a long time stretching into their late twenties and thirties.

I have seen countless number of naija spinsters visit many prayer houses to seek spiritual guide and advice just to be a mrs and while so many will quickly come out to say they are unperturbed,the truth is that deep inside of them they hope that they just find the "right man" fast enough and start raising a family before reaching their menopause age.

Many ladies do not need prayer and fasting and in most cases,there is no spiritual attack from anywhere but these ladies are their own pitfalls and the simple truth is that 90% of unmarried ladies in their late 20s and 30s have no business still remaining single.

Considering the present global socio economy siituations expecially in a country like ours,here are 5 very vital questions to ask yourself as a lady and the more you give a NO to each of these 5 questions the harder it may be for you to get a man to marry you.

1.Can you start a life with a man in one room a.k.a FACE ME I FACE YOU?: Many ladies have boyfriends who live in this type of apartment and infact they have spent some nights with him in that same one room apartment and the guy has lost count of how many times he has scr*wd you in any imaginable ways but when it comes to marriage you will foolishly say you can't marry into one room apartment.

Sorry is your second name and i strongly pity you.Most men who own mansions today started their lives in one room so if you are ok being scr*wd in one room but you can not marry same man living in one room then you are not only clueless but foolish and be ready to be dumped after he has really had you to his fullness.


2.Can you marry a struggling man who has no regular job?:Oh i can imagine some ladies answering LAI! LAI!,MBA NUNU! GOD FORBID and so on to this particular question but please let me ask you"why date a struggling guy or allow him srw you at will yet cant marry him?" strange and foolish i must say.

It is important to know that as long as that man is not lazy,his break through will come and must come.How many ladies have given up an affair because they feel the guy has no job just to realize a year latter that he is gainfully employed or he has started a profitable business and they start feeling bad for not being patient enough.

Ok what is even the guaranty that the ones who have good jobs or business can not experience a crazy turn around? many ladies have lost their chance with a vibrant vision driven man just because they are waiting to say yes to a man who has a job rather than for them to also find something doing that will make them financially independent while the guy has enough space to pursue his dreams.Believe it or not 95% of the rich or successful guys you see today have passed through a struggling phase.


3.Can you have a very low budget wedding?: Now i want every reasonable lady reading this to understand that marital union and marriage ceremony are 2 different things.

Most times when you hear words like "my guy is not ready yet for marriage" what this simply implies is that the guy is NOT READY FOR A BIG MARRIAGE CEREMONY and not that he is not mentally,psychologically and emotionally ready but because our young ladies are overwhelmed with that one day celebration,they will never ever plan any wedding with a man who does not have the money to give them a flamboyant wedding and this is one major reasons why many ladies remain single for a very long time.

Have you looked around to see many graduates still struggling in their 30s with no assurance that a job or business will come up tomorrow? Are you among the myopic ladies who get carried away by a flamboyant wedding ceremony rich parents organize for their children?

Who says you can't have a marriage ceremony with N50,000 budget where a man pays the bride price and proceed to the registry with you and when the money starts coming in you two can do another big time wedding ceremony so why put yourself in bondage of having a compulsory big time wedding before you can be a mrs? Why are you giving that guy a good reason to continue using you,saying he is not ready for marriage ceremony but doing all the imaginable things a man will do to a wife on you.

For my igbo sisters i will advice you to appeal to the elders at home to understand that the fact that few of you are lucky to have a guy pay so much or spend so much on a marriage ceremony against all odds does not erase the fact that countless number of Igbo girls are been courted but not married in a timely manner due to the high expenses involved.


4.Can you marry a man who loves you but is not your preferred spec?:Yes there is nothing absolutely wrong in having a picture of who you want and while some ladies are very fortunate to find such,many have lived in a fantasy world hoping to meet that man who has those qualities they dream of just to wait and wait until they become old waiting for an "ideal man"

In marriage there is nothing like a bad or good choice neither do we have an ideal or non ideal man but its about your choice.Many ladies want a tall,cute,rich.GOD fearing,romantic guy and its so amazing how some ladies will never shift ground and when that short caring and loving guy comes their way they hush him and start running after a prince charming that feels nada for them,what a shame.

Stop having this myopic belief that there is an ideal man out there,no man has it all and all you need to look out for is a man who truly desires and deserves you. If you like keep waiting and screening until you become the object of screening yourself. Be wise.


5.Can you marry a man with a wide age gap to you:This is one of the most dangerous mistakes many ladies make. For crying out loud, except a lady just wants to play around,i do not see why a teenage girl will be dating a fellow teenager or a lady in her early twenties will be dating a guy of just a year or two older than her because when she eventually becomes ripe for marriage, in most cases this guy is still jumping around and fulfilling his sexual fantasies.

Yes age is nothing but a number but in most cases, ladies who date or court guys with wide age gaps like 8years or more tend to end up as a wife to the guy while most ladies who at their young ages started an affair with guys of close age proximity are usually left heart broken latter in life because most guys in the 20s are probably still playing around and not even psychologically ready for marital union.

So when i hear a 23 year old lady telling a guy in his 30s that he is too old for her i just laugh at her ignorance. If you are a teenager reading this or a lady in your early twenties,i will advice that except you just want to play around,you should date or court guys with wide age gap to avoid had i known.YES THERE ARE EXCEPTIONS to this but most times my assertion holds true.

I hope these write up makes sense to those who want to see sense in it.

Good day sir, am an observer. read your post and I like to ask a question. how do you tell the regular struggling guy from one that is lazy.

klassic:
The truth is in marriage, when the man has a good/ high paying job, or biz is doing fine, the man is always respected cos he can provide family needs/finance amongst others. But when things goes south, the wife is a very caring and understanding woman, she will endure for a while and bear with the man hoping things will bounce back, the longer it takes for things to bounce back, the more she is tired of waiting. She gradually losses her patience, quarrel, abuse and insults sets in, if not verbally, body language says it all.
Shortly verbal insult follows suit, comparism becomes the other of the day. Soon the man is forced to act as a man, hits her, she involves the already angry kids( who are already angry at their dad, becos like he cant provide for them like their friends dad). Soon she turns the kids against the man. The man becomes lonely, frustration and desperation sets in. Lets end it here today.
@ missbronze, still in doubt, ask Job's wife what happened to the love she once shared with the husband job when his affliction got worse. I rise

Dear, quarrels, nagging, insults are bound to happen in marriage. Don't blame it on because the "man have no money again."


You used Job's wife as example, didn't your bible show you that Mary married Joseph ordinary capenter. He was so poor, no money for hospital, she have to deliver in a manger.

Yet, there was love and peace in their marriage.

Yes he was not rich, but he could provide a little. But dont compare. I love to get to know you and maybe from our interactions i will be able to ascertain, if you practice what you preach. Cos as a professional in my field, i have handled more divorce/matrimonial matters than i can remember, and ofcourse as a civil doctor, your client will always tell you the honest truth. From my experience, with couples, when i see those who have clocked 10,15 20 and above in marriage, i duff my hat for em. The crux of the gist is that its easier said than done. Talk is cheap, but when reality sets in, lips gets sealed.
Disclaimer: The aforementioned is said with prejudice to you personal ego or image.

missbronze:
Dear, quarrels, nagging, insults are bound to happen in marriage. Don't blame it on because the "man have no money again."


You used Job's wife as example, didn't your bible show you that Mary married Joseph ordinary capenter. He was so poor, no money for hospital, she have to deliver in a manger.

Yet, there was love and peace in their marriage.

klassic:
Yes he was not rich, but he could provide a little. But dont compare. I love to get to know you and maybe from our interactions i will be able to ascertain, if you practice what you preach. Cos as a professional in my field, i have handled more divorce/matrimonial matters than i can remember, and ofcourse as a civil doctor, your client will always tell you the honest truth. From my experience, with couples, when i see those who have clocked 10,15 20 and above in marriage, i duff my hat for em. The crux of the gist is that its easier said than done. Talk is cheap, but when reality sets in, lips gets sealed.
Disclaimer: The aforementioned is said with prejudice to you personal ego or image.

Uncle, I wish you well in your quest for wealth before settling down.


Also, wish me well in my own hrt desires.

nouvelle:
Is this a trick question? My profile picture already defines it, well, defines my understanding of it- being you without anyone's permission.

smart

missbronze:
Dear, quarrels, nagging, insults are bound to happen in marriage. Don't blame it on because the "man have no money again."


You used Job's wife as example, didn't your bible show you that Mary married Joseph ordinary capenter. He was so poor, no money for hospital, she have to deliver in a manger.

Yet, there was love and peace in their marriage.

nop! You are wrong

Joseph flew Jerusalem because of the threat of that KING as of that time, and all was due to the instruction the angel give.

A carpenter on those days doesn't mean a wood worker! It also mean a bussiness man.

And if you look, there was no hospital in that area where there flew too.

And Joseph was a well reputable man in that community

sonofananimal:
nop! You are wrong

Joseph flew Jerusalem because of the threat of that KING as of that time, and all was due to the instruction the angel give.

A carpenter on those days doesn't mean a wood worker! It also mean a bussiness man.

And if you look, there was no hospital in that area where there flew too.

And Joseph was a well reputable man in that community

Wether Joseph or Job, it doesn't matter.


All I am saying we shouldn't place priority on money as a tool for marriage to work out.

It takes more than money.

[quote author=missbronze post=39946803]Dear, quarrels, nagging, insults are bound to happen in marriage. Don't blame it on because the "man have no money again."


You used Job's wife as example, didn't your bible show you that Mary married Joseph ordinary capenter. He was so poor, no money for hospital, she have to deliver in a manger.

Yet, there was love and peace in their marriage

missbronze:
Dear, quarrels, nagging, insults are bound to happen in marriage. Don't blame it on because the "man have no money again."


You used Job's wife as example, didn't your bible show you that Mary married Joseph ordinary capenter. He was so poor, no money for hospital, she have to deliver in a manger.

Yet, there was love and peace in their marriage.

if the holy spirt had not told joe in a dream to marry mary joe would have dumped her when she got preggy

missbronze:
Wether Joseph or Job, it doesn't matter.


All I am saying we shouldn't place priority on money as a tool for marriage to work out.

It takes more than money.

money should not be the only priority but one of the priorities.

Sparkles003:
if the holy spirt had not told joe in a dream to marry mary joe would have dumped her when she got preggy

.

Babes, funny you.

And, Joseph would have come to open thread on Nl that Mary isn't loyal.

Sparkles003:
money should not be the only priority but one of the priorities.

Yes, one of the priorities.

I advocate for a man with an income, not for a wealthy man or a man without no income.

missbronze:
Wether Joseph or Job, it doesn't matter.


All I am saying we shouldn't place priority on money as a tool for marriage to work out.

It takes more than money.

it is easier said than done!

Money will always be the driving force.

missbronze:
Wether Joseph or Job, it doesn't matter.


All I am saying we shouldn't place priority on money as a tool for marriage to work out.

It takes more than money.

True tho! Committment alone is greater than money. But in this clime and generation, an average lady wants immediate comfort first even before commitment.

It is only when there are pressures arising as a result of the age factor that most ladies shove aside their premonition about what marriage should be like and then settle for what is obtainable.

sonofananimal:
it is easier said than done!
Money will always be the driving force.

If it is for you, No problem.

ddshow:
True tho! Committment alone is greater than money. But in this clime and generation, an average lady wants immediate comfort first even before commitment.

It is only when there are pressures arising as a result of the age factor that most ladies shove aside their premonition about what marriage should be like and then settle for what is obtainable.

Some ladies have always known what they want. Young or old.

Liciase:
Good day sir, am an observer. read your post and I like to ask a question. how do you tell the regular struggling guy from one that is lazy.

There's no other definition for laziness , if he refuses to work he is lazy , if he feels some jobs are infra dig then he is lazy , if he prefers to stay at home than going to look for a job then he is lazy. A lazy man is not hard to know. A hard working man who has hasn't hit gold doesn't mean he'll remain poor all his life , he may not live the flamboyant life but he'll definitely take care of his own. A woman is meant to give his man encouragement and support ( not necessarily financial support ) and help him actualize his potentials.

missbronze:
If it is for you, No problem.

That's the problem! And it is why we are discussing it

A lady of 30yrs has been dating a guy of 35yrs old for sometime now.


They both have something doing, although not that big.


The Lady wants commitment, and, the guy refused to commit. He gives the reason of not having enough money he wants to have yet. therefore, he is not ready to settle down.

The lady is ready to contribute in everything, and also willing to manage. She is not the materialistic type, she is respectful, even the guy compliments her for that.

The guy told her point blank he can marry even at the age of 50 if he wants, so, therefore, he is not in a hurry to settle down.


Now, this lady wants to quit the relationship. Even though she loves this guy, she feels no need being in something that don't have any direction.


Is she doing the right thing.?

Is she being too mean?

missbronze:
The Lady wants commitment, and, the guy refused to commit. He gives the reason of not having enough money he wants to have yet. therefore, he is not ready to settle down.

The lady is ready to contribute in everything, and also willing to manage. She is not the materialistic type, she is respectful, even the guy compliments her for that.

The guy told her point blank he can marry even at the age of 50 if he wants,

The guy is an unserious fellow. He basically has no plan for the lady IMO. His body language is very clear.

If you check well, the guy probably has someone else he's hoping to settle down with or a particular standard of woman he's looking forward to have as wife. He may just be passing time with the lady hoping she'll leave at some point.

The lady has no relationship, she needs to find one.

Liciase:
Good day sir, am an observer. read your post and I like to ask a question. how do you tell the regular struggling guy from one that is lazy.

You have asked a brilliant question so read careFully.

-A lazy guy is a guy that does absolutely nothing whether job hunting or hustling but blames his joblessness on every other person.

-A struggling guy is a guy that is ready to do anything legitimate to survive irrespective of his level of education while still focusing on his dreams.

-Some gainfully employed guys are lazy but because they are fortunate to get a job, they hide under this euphoria and ladies get carried away but if peradventure they lose that job,their lazy nature will come to fall because they may never have the propensity or initiative do do nada except hope for another job .

-Take away everything from a struggling guy and he is most likely to bounce back even better.

Let me stop here.

missbronze:
A lady of 30yrs has been dating a guy of 35yrs old for sometime now.


They both have something doing, although not that big.


The Lady wants commitment, and, the guy refused to commit. He gives the reason of not having enough money he wants to have yet. therefore, he is not ready to settle down.

The lady is ready to contribute in everything, and also willing to manage. She is not the materialistic type, she is respectful, even the guy compliments her for that.

The guy told her point blank he can marry even at the age of 50 if he wants, so, therefore, he is not in a hurry to settle down.


Now, this lady wants to quit the relationship. Even though she loves this guy, she feels no need being in something that don't have any direction.


Is she doing the right thing.?

Is she being too mean?

I would have given you a yimu look for the bold lettering.

GET THIS STRAIGHT..IF A MAN REALLY LOVES A LADY,HE WILL NOT WASTE TIME TO MARRY HER even if he makes 1k a day and considering the fact that the lady is willing to contribute.

Take it to the bank.

I will advice the lady to take a long walk without looking back.

missbronze:
.

Babes, funny you.

And, Joseph would have come to open thread on Nl that Mary isn't loyal.

Nne....you got me laughing with this. Hahahaha

missbronze:
A lady of 30yrs has been dating a guy of 35yrs old for sometime now.


They both have something doing, although not that big.


The Lady wants commitment, and, the guy refused to commit. He gives the reason of not having enough money he wants to have yet. therefore, he is not ready to settle down.

The lady is ready to contribute in everything, and also willing to manage. She is not the materialistic type, she is respectful, even the guy compliments her for that.

The guy told her point blank he can marry even at the age of 50 if he wants, so, therefore, he is not in a hurry to settle down.


Now, this lady wants to quit the relationship. Even though she loves this guy, she feels no need being in something that don't have any direction.


Is she doing the right thing.?

Is she being too mean?

The part in bold says it all. The guy wants to break up with the lady but does not know how to say it.
Telling a lady who is already 30 and above that you are not in a hurry and that you can even get married at 50 simply implies that the lady should look else where.
Therefore, quitting the relationship will actually be the right thing to do.
She is simply being sensible by quitting and not mean.

@sonofananimal @toks2008 @ddshow @missbronze @neoapocalypse @klassik @sparkles003,brilliant arguement guys! I'm seriolsy thinking of setting up a panel and invite u guys to sit openly and discuss this preferably on air(say radio tv etc) am so enjoying this! @missbronze ur part abt Joseph coming to open a thread on NL is hilarios,lol!
Thread is becoming very exciting,I like this. For me,nothing as good as a lady havin s little of her own money too,wld help come in handy in those days wen things don't go well. That been said,the man shd be able to hold his own dwn,hav a job and be hardworking. Mony may not be much but show uav prospects and evn wen d chips are dwn,dat u won't let it get to u,get ur ass to work and ,hard! And I don't tink me wanting a man who is financially ok,is a bad idea for me sha. Hop am makin some sense here? Over to u d analysts,lol.
Going forward,hope everyone's day went well? Swtdrms!