₦airaland Forum

Compliment to all nairalanders, am a guy of 36,and married with kids. I met this girl of 24 in my school where am running my postgraduate studies, sincerely speaking I developed interest in her and decided to engage her as a wife, having no father or mother(orphan) I went to her family with a friend and did introduction about few years ago without the knowledge of my wife, who because of her work leaves apart . Having done the introduction I delved into sponsoring the girls school with all sincerity of purpose of getting married to her. In this process the girl and her family committed themselves to me as a reliable suitor, this now made me relaxed with the girl and out of our plan got her pregnant and delivered of a bouncing baby . The girl coming from a Christian family will not be allowed to be a second wife. Recently, I confided in my pastor who prayed for me and ask me to open up to the girl, her family and my wife. THE QUESTION IS HOW DO I OPEN UP TO THEM TOWARDS A BETTER UNDERSTANDING?Please house I beg of you no insult, just a mature advice on the way forward. I promise to adhere to wise counsels and advice. Thanks

chisunday:
Compliment to all nairalanders, am a guy of 36,and married with kids. I met this girl of 24 in my school where am running my postgraduate studies, sincerely speaking I developed interest in her and decided to engage her as a wife, having no father or mother(orphan) I went to her family with a friend and did introduction about few years ago without the knowledge of my wife, who because of her work leaves apart . Having done the introduction I delved into sponsoring the girls school with all sincerity of purpose of getting married to her. In this process the girl and her family committed themselves to me as a reliable suitor, this now made me relaxed with the girl and out of our plan got her pregnant and delivered of a bouncing baby . The girl coming from a Christian family will not be allowed to be a second wife. Recently, I confided in my pastor who prayed for me and ask me to open up to the girl, her family and my wife. THE QUESTION IS HOW DO I OPEN UP TO THEM TOWARDS A BETTER UNDERSTANDING?Please house I beg of you no insult, just a mature advice on the way forward. I promise to adhere to wise counsels and advice. Thanks

LOLS...... great man i greet you, you are so unique that i doubt your existence. anyway, looking at your post with NORMAL NIGERIAN CULTURAL MORAL EYE, you are not NORMAL. yes cos IF you are a christian and you have a pastor you would know that you have forsaken GOD, wisdom and INTEGRITY, if there is anything she has that your wife does not simply teach your wife to have it. IN CLEAR TERMS THIS IS ADULTERY. the only way is to Go back to God and beg for mercy and wisdom and tell your wife to forgive you andif her family hears this unless they are not nigerians, they may finish u with DIABOLIC things. Your pastor didnt bless you to go ahead but to confess your secret sins and repent. IF YOU HAD DIED IN THOSE YEARS OF UNHOLY UNCULTURAL COURTSHIP YOU WOULD CLEARLY GO TO HELL no questions asked.... BUT BROTHER IS IT THAT YOUR HEART IS DIVIDED, OR YOU HAVE SO MUCH MONEY TO WASTE TO RUIN A POOR GIRLS LIFE? IN THESE DAYS AND TIMES? YOUR WIFE'S VALUE OF YOU WILL DIMINISH COS U DIDNT RESPECT HER AND VALUE HER. a wife is a HELP MEET not a SEX MEET... is your life so complex that you need TWO HELPERS? can you boldly justify your actions when you finally stand before your creator? ANY WAY, THE BLUEPRINT IS BUY YOUR WIFE A MAJOR GIFT AND APOLOGIZE TO HER. BREAK UP WITH THE GIRL.... WOMAN RUINED SAMSON AND MANY GREAT MEN..... U AINT GREATER............DONT LET A FOOL KILL YOU,DONT LET A KISS FOOL YOU.......am out

Kai

This guy na proper aprorokpo.

The poster above have said it all. What were u thinking before knowing fully well that u are married.




May God help u

Thanks Tripplephi for inspiring me am going to do just exactly as you have said. but how do I do over my baby she gave birth to? and also because of the negative consequence, do I forget going to explain anything to her family? Can you also give m your number so we could talk one on one?

The way forward is simple but not that simple. Even though African culture allows for more than one wife, it may not be the wise choice. And since the deed is done, there's no other option than to open up to her and your wife in plain words and know that the worst may happen. Expect all the brouhaha cos definitely they will react, but if both parties do not agree to a second wife idea, make sure to take care of the new child in the best possible way u can while allowing the girl to find a new partner. All the best!

Why should i advise you when the bible said Do not commit adultery!

The deed has been done already ! You need deliverance prayers from Bewitchment.What makes you to go after this lady even though you are married is not ordinary .Secondly ,what were you planning/thinking when you went for introduction (new lady) ?God has forgiven you since you have confessed but Consequence of sin can't be taken away ! Please inform your wife,take care of new baby and forget the 2nd lady .Since you are a christian !

wow! very good bad man.

IT's bad but nothing spoil, Theway u started it is outrightly wrong. what u actually did wrong is not letting ur wife kno about it. U must have her concent before going ahead to do what u did so u have to fix it with ur wife which might be the hardest thing for her. Just prepare for the worse with ur wife and pls don't blame her.
But to think of it, can u carry 2 crosses cos u can't even carry 1 which is obvious? WE HUMAN WILL START WHAT WE CANT FINISH.
The only thing God need from u is to LOVE THEM EQUALLY which is impossible to human.
Bro, TWO WOMEN IS NOT EASY. Just sit down and reason good cos it's not easy, nit even the way u started it.
Lastly, seek for forgiveness cos u have made a bad move. May God help u.

Polygamy is so 1960 ish.

I cannot fail to wonder, what was on your mind when you were doing that? You said you are grooming her to be your wife and now you cannot marry her, how contradictory is that? You are on your way to ruining the lives of two women and the worst part is that there are kids involved!! Your kids with the first wife and now this innocent baby that did nothing wrong. You just have to confess to your wife and prays she forgives you. Then let the girl live her life.

chisunday:
Thanks Tripplephi for inspiring me am going to do just exactly as you have said. but how do I do over my baby she gave birth to? and also because of the negative consequence, do I forget going to explain anything to her family? Can you also give m your number so we could talk one on one?

great man, i value you alot but pls do not bring her family into this for your life and safety sake..... remember not everyone in your wife's family likes you.... so be careful.... NOW you have 18-20 years of LIFE SUPPORT for the child of the outside WOMAN, so discuss this with your wife and let funds be consistently generated to the child's upkeep..... NOW this is dicey because when you go to check on the child u may spark up feelings between you and her so pls NEVER go alone else you may get her pregnant again. so this has to be MATURELY and QUIETLY handled by you and your wifey.

also it is wise to change your contact or at least let your wife be the one to contact her when there is a NEED.

tripplephi:
LOLS...... great man i greet you, you are so unique that i doubt your existence. anyway, looking at your post with NORMAL NIGERIAN CULTURAL MORAL EYE, you are not NORMAL. yes cos IF you are a christian and you have a pastor you would know that you have forsaken GOD, wisdom and INTEGRITY, if there is anything she has that your wife does not simply teach your wife to have it. IN CLEAR TERMS THIS IS ADULTERY. the only way is to Go back to God and beg for mercy and wisdom and tell your wife to forgive you andif her family hears this unless they are not nigerians, they may finish u with DIABOLIC things. Your pastor didnt bless you to go ahead but to confess your secret sins and repent. IF YOU HAD DIED IN THOSE YEARS OF UNHOLY UNCULTURAL COURTSHIP YOU WOULD CLEARLY GO TO HELL no questions asked.... BUT BROTHER IS IT THAT YOUR HEART IS DIVIDED, OR YOU HAVE SO MUCH MONEY TO WASTE TO RUIN A POOR GIRLS LIFE? IN THESE DAYS AND TIMES? YOUR WIFE'S VALUE OF YOU WILL DIMINISH COS U DIDNT RESPECT HER AND VALUE HER. a wife is a HELP MEET not a SEX MEET... is your life so complex that you need TWO HELPERS? can you boldly justify your actions when you finally stand before your creator? ANY WAY, THE BLUEPRINT IS BUY YOUR WIFE A MAJOR GIFT AND APOLOGIZE TO HER. BREAK UP WITH THE GIRL.... WOMAN RUINED SAMSON AND MANY GREAT MEN..... U AINT GREATER............DONT LET A FOOL KILL YOU,DONT LET A KISS FOOL YOU.......am out

perfectly said. words of a wise man.

Don't let a fool kill you.
Don't let a kiss fool you.

Nice alliteration.

Thanks great men of the house for your concern.Crieff, Nnamdiosu, push music,Rahoof2, Princeprinz, Samtol4, Cutehector,St Pete, Oma307,Ricki and Tripplephi.May God bless you all for your concern.I promise not to let your counsel down,right now am in tears.

Wow, what a catch you are *sarcasm*
And I bet years down the line you're going to trade in your recent squeeze for a younger & newer model. Sounds like the midlife crisis came in early for you, sugar daddy Grow up! A married, almost middle age man with kids still playing the field with little girls no less. Have you no shame? Disgusting!

lol @ bouncing baby. That term always cracks me up for some reason.