₦airaland Forum

niggi4life:
I won't advice u to go for the lazy girl(Labake) and neither will I recommend the other one as u don't av any feelings for her else u will just blame ursef.


My guy u never see wife o

My guy commot from my mind o. You done tell am. Keep searching bro

My bro just keep praying for ur missing rib ok, weather lazy or hard working, rich or poor.

idontaya:
If I was ur bro, what wld you advice me to do?

guy come! stop disturbing person here, the one u love is blacklisted, the other one u dont love, make we con advice u to play on the inocent girl's heart abi or caryy liability wey go make u reduce weight in week? go look for anoda 1 asap

Have both

pet4ril:
dont you think he loosed the feeling because of the second girl he met? This guy is emotionally unstable just like a woman

lolz

Op marry none of the above, she will be a good wife. Or better still enter agege motor park u go see rukkayat marry her

Chubhie:
Why not marry two of them?

Lol....

idontaya:
Please guys come to my rescue....

This is centered around two female which i do not want to loose but have to select one to marry. Here goes...

I met these ladies around the same period, i asked Labake out and after the initial gra gra she accepted to date me. thing are getting serious now that i had to ask her certain questions... She has been into business for like 6 years and when i asked what was her savings from the biz she said NOTHING. I asked the reason and she said debts and some other excuses. In short she has no savings and told me to my face i am providing all she will be needing in marriage, relocating her shop from one town to where i am and other things even to her sanitary towels! What is annoying me is that have i now offended the gods that i want to marry her and there taking over her liabilities (her body being the only asset)! I do not have a problem meeting these needs but she has to meet up at some point which she cannot do! I just like/love her i dont know why despite these liability.

On the other hand, there is Shalewa, who is more than willing to meet my people, she has a job and even a business. She encourages me to be the best and all other positives. The problem here is that i dont have a feeling for her at all, but i dont want to let go. Mind you we have not had sex even with Labake

Guys please if you were in my shoes what would you do? Who will you take home to mamma. Cos i want to do that this december and wrap up marriage. But i am in a dilemma for nowQ

please advice maturedly

I can't just place the reason why men keep getting confused on simple things. This issue is very simple, all I see here can be described with that popular yoruba funny adage: "Ori ti yo j'eko, bo we lawali, yoo tu" (the head that'll receive a big knock, even if with a cap/headgear, it'll be loosed/removed at that time)

We kept mistaking foolishness for love. I kept saying the word LOVE is over hyped, it has gotten too much attention than it deserves. Who ever coined that word is a fraud coz its no longer blind.

How would you marry a lazy, careless spender, nag and a liability. Now you're cool with it, by the time responsibilities on your neck becomes big, you'll know you're in a big trouble. Whatever you call love you have for her now will disappear within a twinkling of an eye. Love is fragile, it wax more stronger with favorable conditions, without the conditions it dies quickly. Be sure its not illusions you call love

Its not all about love, not about our selfish wants, emotions and feelings which can easily betray us. People make big mistake and jeopardize the future because of their present feelings and wants. Think about the future, your unborn kids, the family as a safe heaven. How the family will look like with a supporting wife even in this harsh economy.

I am not saying you should marry Shalewa, but Labake is an outright NO, a no go area. You might be lucky to find a lady you'll love and at the same time be hard-working.

Just position yourself to see beyond now and Shalewa will save you the stress of searching too long.

Shalewa's quality is worth loving, you can give it a shot if you want to. The truth is if your mind is made up already, no matter the advice you get here today, you'll still do your heart wish. You might just not be the only one who will suffer the consequence...the innocent might partake.

taryour:
Remain focus and dont be in a haste. Labake might end up being a big laibility and a terrible nagging wife and i tell you that will kill the love you both share. ( Building a good home is not only about LOVE ).

The other lady on the other hand is good but there is no feelings for her ( what is the essense of a good relationship is there is no TRUE LOVE ?

Best of luck in your choice

Op where you failed it is when you said that you don't have feelings for someone who wants you to be the best and encourages you. To me that's one of the hallmark of a good wife.

Love is a decision not a feeling cos feelings change with situations and circumstances.

Seriously speaking, the same st babe might just be testing you. Just don't jump into conclusion Cruz of what u see. Me I don't talk my own o!

Bro, the first lady is obviously a squanderer. A woman should not be dependent on her husband for everything. Even if she can't work a 9 to 5 job she should at least be able to manage a business. Marry her at your own peril. As for the second lady, you feel nothing for her? Then why are you even considering marriage to her? So that tomorrow you can come and tell us that you are cheating on your wife and ask us for advice ba? Gerrara here mehn!

Pls don't marry yet you re still a poor man. Poor people don't need wife what they need is financial security. Masturbate if you re afraid of taking an ashowo home. I am talking from experience come to my neborhood and see with ur eyes how married women will park their car and be fucking while their husband think they re saints . This is happening to the rich let alone a poor man. Finally studies show that unmarried people live longer than married people

The first lady, i don't think you love her though it's obvious you are attracted to her.The second lady you ve a thing for her,to ve considered her in the first place.So the question is fantasy or reality? Some said you should move on, believe you me,you will still encounter the exact same problem. As for the first one, i believe if you ve had intercourse, things might be different, just being Frank. If you ve slept with a lady and you still think about her, then she is unforgettable.... what we want the most may sometimes may not be good for us, though it may be hard to let go.Some of these categories of ladies and just better as gf and never as a wife, only rich fools keeps them as trophies.Think hard,it's a decision that can ruin the remains of your existence

Oshi! Are you for real? ;DO U already know your woman, but u still came on Nairaland to ask jamb question about who to marry. Sweet heart, dump both asses and marry Nancia. My piece

I once had same issue like dis and i end up choosin d wrong girl. I wil advice u choose d girl dat is supportive she ll mk a gud wife.

Kirinwa:
Op where you failed it is when you said that you don't have feelings for someone who wants you to be the best and encourages you. To me that's one of the hallmark of a good wife.

Love is a decision not a feeling cos feelings change with situations and circumstances.

He never loved the second lady, but he asked her out. some guys just like too much wahala. Marry the two of them op,

today is 18 and you're still deciding you have not even started. De dia

niggi4life:
I won't advice u to go for the lazy girl(Labake) and neither will I recommend the other one as u don't av any feelings for her else u will just blame ursef.


My guy u never see wife o

Seconded

Eh eh so u get Labake contact?

siegfried99:

Labake must hear this

No matter what you do,don't marry the first lady ,leave love matter out of marriage, marry the second lady ,be wise

You can either take both of dem to ur mum at different time and see hw ur mum reacts c d one she likes see y she likes her a mother can sumtimes no a quality wife or you can just go for shalewa because she Is serious in life and seems independent which can b a bad thing sumtimes buh with goes by u will have feelings for her like u never expected, trust me.

Many ideas and suggestions had been thrown at you over who to choose. my candid advice for is this.among the two take the later,I mean the one you said your feelings is dead for.She love you more and not a liability like your former ,as time goes on you beginning to love her more.Time will your Labake will sour ....

You are simply the woman here. Are you not supposed to be the one taking care if them? You are only digging for gold. And who told you that the one that has today cannot become bankrupt again. Love has nothing to do with materials possessions Pls.

Guy you never see wife yet

If you truly had feelings for the first girl, you wouldn't even think of the 2nd girl. You know ur choice already. Advice not needed.

Acidosis:
You don't marry someone because you LOVE them.


Married couples fall in "love" after wedding oo. Falling in 'love' is a never ending process.

You marry because you are compatible. My advice: get closer to the girl you claim you don't love. Love grows with TIME. There is no such thing as falling in love at FIRST SIGHT. Just spend more time with her, as in quality time and watch that love grow

op.. Here's d advice u re looking for..

My advice is pray over it,but if you cant pray, seek parental advice, nairaland will not help your situation,instead it get worsten

well, take both of them to mama, and mama will definitely, show you the right one for you. trust me, mother inlaws always know a wife material for their son. the only problem here is they do not know how many yards of the wife material

MrHighSea:
Summary pls

Why not read the the short article. The guy even summarized the whole storey.

niggi4life:
I won't advice u to go for the lazy girl(Labake) and neither will I recommend the other one as u don't av any feelings for her else u will just blame ursef.


My guy u never see wife o

My dear he don see, na fear dey worry am, he don dey give too much excuse, come oooo which person dey perfect when u dey look for perfect wife?

Sit labake down and explain things to her. If possible you can tell your mom about her then, your mom will know how she would talk to her.
( all she needs is encouragement/advise)

Dont forget to pray about it. Let it be on your list before taking any decision...

All the best.

Your story shows you love Labake over shalewa, then do all u can to change mind set of Labake and re-orientate her. She has no idea of business but she can change. Go for what pleases your MIND. LOVE MATTER