Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 3,153,658 members, 7,820,306 topics. Date: Tuesday, 07 May 2024 at 12:49 PM

I Am In A Dilemma - Family (2) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / I Am In A Dilemma (55657 Views)

Help Am In A Dilemma Now. / The Dilemma Of Inter-tribal Marriage / I Am In A Dilemma. I Don't Want To Be A Baby Mama (2) (3) (4)

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (Reply) (Go Down)

Re: I Am In A Dilemma by idontaya: 9:40am On Dec 15, 2015
cococandy:
Stick to one.
Play boy angry

Play boy as in....? Abeg jor
Re: I Am In A Dilemma by idontaya: 9:40am On Dec 15, 2015
Phema:
If you had only one, you wouldn't be this confused.

Sometimes, putting our eggs in one basket is a better approach.

Take some time off from both women to think things through. The picture will become clearer.

And, who's putting a gun to your head that you must take one to mama this december? Take your time bro. This is marriage and not some short lived fantasy.


Makes sense
Re: I Am In A Dilemma by jnrbayano(m): 11:02am On Dec 15, 2015
Acidosis:
You don't marry someone because you LOVE them.


Married couples fall in "love" after wedding oo. Falling in 'love' is a never ending process.

You marry because you are compatible. My advice: get closer to the girl you claim you don't love. Love grows with TIME. There is no such thing as falling in love at FIRST SIGHT. Just spend more time with her, as in quality time and watch that love grow

An elder has spoken.

I love this.

1 Like

Re: I Am In A Dilemma by Chidoks(f): 11:13am On Dec 15, 2015
Dating both of them at the same time tells me something;you are not satisfied with either of them.kiss both of them goodbye and start afresh next year.you must not take a chick home this Christmas abeg.

2 Likes

Re: I Am In A Dilemma by Chidoks(f): 11:25am On Dec 15, 2015
Acidosis:
You don't marry someone because you LOVE them.


Married couples fall in "love" after wedding oo. Falling in 'love' is a never ending process.

You marry because you are compatible. My advice: get closer to the girl you claim you don't love. Love grows with TIME. There is no such thing as falling in love at FIRST SIGHT. Just spend more time with her, as in quality time and watch that love grow

Sir,sorry for quoting you o but I don't agree with you.
I went back to read about the second lady,Shalewa. OP said he had no feelings for her at all.People that fall in love after marriage are often attracted to each other.a woman's love could easily change in such circumstances especially if you shower her with love and good things of life but a man that is not involved can never be.
I sense that Shalewa is desperate and OP is considering her because she is matured,hardworking and conservative which would've been good if open had little feelings for her(had to check again,open had no feelings at all for her) this I make bold to say that there is no need of moving ahead with her.he should kiss them goodbye.

6 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Am In A Dilemma by prissyluv(f): 11:33am On Dec 15, 2015
Acidosis:
You don't marry someone because you LOVE them.


Married couples fall in "love" after wedding oo. Falling in 'love' is a never ending process.

You marry because you are compatible. My advice: get closer to the girl you claim you don't love. Love grows with TIME. There is no such thing as falling in love at FIRST SIGHT. Just spend more time with her, as in quality time and watch that love grow

But sir,the truth remains that there are some people you never get to love or develop feelings for no matter how hard you try or how good they are.

5 Likes

Re: I Am In A Dilemma by jabojafa(m): 5:06pm On Dec 15, 2015
Gaborone:
Are they the last two women standing in this world?

yes in his world

1 Like

Re: I Am In A Dilemma by jabojafa(m): 5:13pm On Dec 15, 2015
u can neva see it all in one lady. So go with d lady dt gives u peace of mind. D one dt u are @ peace with.

1 Like

Re: I Am In A Dilemma by belamour(m): 5:22pm On Dec 15, 2015
Marry Two Of Dem

First One For D Love

Second One For D Financial Capabilities.

Don't Forget You Can't Find A Perfect Being
Re: I Am In A Dilemma by idontaya: 5:43pm On Dec 15, 2015
Thanks for your contributions and advice
Re: I Am In A Dilemma by BuddhaPalm(m): 11:29pm On Dec 15, 2015
idontaya:
Please guys come to my rescue....

This is centered around two female which i do not want to loose but have to select one to marry. Here goes...

I met these ladies around the same period, i asked Labake out and after the initial gra gra she accepted to date me. thing are getting serious now that i had to ask her certain questions... She has been into business for like 6 years and when i asked what was her savings from the biz she said NOTHING. I asked the reason and she said debts and some other excuses. In short she has no savings and told me to my face i am providing all she will be needing in marriage, relocating her shop from one town to where i am and other things even to her sanitary towels! What is annoying me is that have i now offended the gods that i want to marry her and there taking over her liabilities (her body being the only asset)! I do not have a problem meeting these needs but she has to meet up at some point which she cannot do! I just like/love her i dont know why despite these liability.

On the other hand, there is Shalewa, who is more than willing to meet my people, she has a job and even a business. She encourages me to be the best and all other positives. The problem here is that i dont have a feeling for her at all, but i dont want to let go. Mind you we have not had sex even with Labake

Guys please if you were in my shoes what would you do? Who will you take home to mamma. Cos i want to do that this december and wrap up marriage. But i am in a dilemma for nowQ

please advice maturedly

Marry the one with the biggest mammaries...


More seriously: the first woman is a bad choice for a wife.

If you want to buy a house, and you're a wise guy, you don't go for one with cracked walls, on sinking sand, and in a flood-prone neighbourhood - just because you like the painting.

The painting is going to wear off in a few short years.

For a wife, you want someone who's measured, prudent and even resourceful.

Someone like the second woman, but that you find attractive.

3 Likes

Re: I Am In A Dilemma by Nobody: 9:28am On Dec 16, 2015
prissyluv:


But sir,the truth remains that there are some people you never get to love or develop feelings for no matter how hard you try or how good they are.

1 Like

Re: I Am In A Dilemma by idontaya: 9:57am On Dec 16, 2015
BuddhaPalm:


Marry the one with the biggest mammaries...


More seriously: the first woman is a bad choice for a wife.

If you want to buy a house, and you're a wise guy, you don't go for one with cracked walls, on sinking sand, and in a flood-prone neighbourhood - just because you like the painting.

The painting is going to wear off in a few short years.

For a wife, you want someone who's measured, prudent and even resourceful.

Someone like the second woman, but that you find attractive.

Thanks man
Re: I Am In A Dilemma by Nobody: 1:03pm On Dec 16, 2015
Yes,love can grow with time and you have to be compatible. But then,remember we all have our differences that is why adjustment and understanding comes but not adjusting to negativity. Some people feel they are not compatible with their partner because they are in secured and have complex issues.
It is better to fall in love before marriage. Children and other issues will come in and there will be divided attention,it is the love that you both had and have that will keep you going. There is no proof you will fall in love after marriage just like prissyluv have rightly pointed out. Some end up just managing and the love never comes in. I have heard a man say 'I can't really say I love my wife but she's ok,not a bad person. I asked 'why did you marry her and his answer was, she met the qualities I wanted but I still don't know why I don't feel something so strong for her. just like Gaborone asked, I asked him too...'was she the only woman in the world'? If you were not in a hurry,you would have found one who met those qualities and still be in love with her.

All the same,if what the op @ idontaya has said about the first girl is true,he should give the second girl a chance...a woman should not be a liability but a partner and a help!same applies to the man. But Pls find out if you love her and not just accepting and managing her. Don't be in a hurry to marry.



Acidosis:
You don't marry someone because you LOVE them.


Married couples fall in "love" after wedding oo. Falling in 'love' is a never ending process.

You marry because you are compatible. My advice: get closer to the girl you claim you don't love. Love grows with TIME. There is no such thing as falling in love at FIRST SIGHT. Just spend more time with her, as in quality time and watch that love grow

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Am In A Dilemma by idontaya: 1:28pm On Dec 16, 2015
peppyluv02:
Yes,love can grow with time and you have to be compatible. But then,remember that we all have our differences that is why adjustment and understanding comes but not adjusting to negativity. Some people feel they are not compatible with their partner because they are in secured and have complex issues.
It is better to fall in love before marriage. Children and other issues will come in and there will be divided attention,it is the love that you both had and have that will keep you going. There is no proof you will fall in love after marriage just like prissyluv have rightly pointed out. Some end up just managing and the love never comes in. I have heard a man say 'I can't really say I love my wife but she's ok,not a bad person. I asked 'why did you marry her and his answer was, she met the qualities I wanted but I still don't know why I don't feel something so strong for her. just like Gaborone asked, I asked him too...'was she the only woman in the world'? If you were not in a hurry,you would have found one who met these qualities and still be in love with her.

All the same,if what the op @ idontaya has said about the first girl is true,he should give the second girl a chance...a woman should not be a liability but a partner and a help!same applies to the man. But Pls find out if you love her and not just accepting and managing her. Don't be in a hurry to marry.




YOU BE DAT IGBO GIRL WEY MAKE SENSE

4 Likes

Re: I Am In A Dilemma by Nobody: 1:34pm On Dec 16, 2015
smiley thanks dear...it's just what I'll say to my own brother...
Everyone deserves the best...go for it,don't manage...life is too short.


idontaya:


YOU BE DAT IGBO GIRL WEY MAKE SENSE

1 Like 1 Share

Re: I Am In A Dilemma by MEILYN(m): 11:11pm On Dec 17, 2015
Since you haven't had sex with them, you still have time to be a Reverend Father.

You better marry who you love.....

Top 10 Educated Presidents In Africa . See Where Buhari Was Placed Here>>>> www.intensetalk.com
Re: I Am In A Dilemma by Nobody: 11:13pm On Dec 17, 2015
idontaya:
Please guys come to my rescue....

This is centered around two female which i do not want to loose but have to select one to marry. Here goes...

I met these ladies around the same period, i asked Labake out and after the initial gra gra she accepted to date me. thing are getting serious now that i had to ask her certain questions... She has been into business for like 6 years and when i asked what was her savings from the biz she said NOTHING. I asked the reason and she said debts and some other excuses. In short she has no savings and told me to my face i am providing all she will be needing in marriage, relocating her shop from one town to where i am and other things even to her sanitary towels! What is annoying me is that have i now offended the gods that i want to marry her and there taking over her liabilities (her body being the only asset)! I do not have a problem meeting these needs but she has to meet up at some point which she cannot do! I just like/love her i dont know why despite these liability.

On the other hand, there is Shalewa, who is more than willing to meet my people, she has a job and even a business. She encourages me to be the best and all other positives. The problem here is that i dont have a feeling for her at all, but i dont want to let go. Mind you we have not had sex even with Labake

Guys please if you were in my shoes what would you do? Who will you take home to mamma. Cos i want to do that this december and wrap up marriage. But i am in a dilemma for nowQ

please advice maturedly

I don't care about the two ladies, I care about you.

So what do you want? What are you looking for?

3 Likes

Re: I Am In A Dilemma by Cutehector(m): 11:13pm On Dec 17, 2015
idontaya:
Please guys come to my rescue....

This is centered around two female which i do not want to loose but have to select one to marry. Here goes...

I met these ladies around the same period, i asked Labake out and after the initial gra gra she accepted to date me. thing are getting serious now that i had to ask her certain questions... She has been into business for like 6 years and when i asked what was her savings from the biz she said NOTHING. I asked the reason and she said debts and some other excuses. In short she has no savings and told me to my face i am providing all she will be needing in marriage, relocating her shop from one town to where i am and other things even to her sanitary towels! What is annoying me is that have i now offended the gods that i want to marry her and there taking over her liabilities (her body being the only asset)! I do not have a problem meeting these needs but she has to meet up at some point which she cannot do! I just like/love her i dont know why despite these liability.

On the other hand, there is Shalewa, who is more than willing to meet my people, she has a job and even a business. She encourages me to be the best and all other positives. The problem here is that i dont have a feeling for her at all, but i dont want to let go. Mind you we have not had sex even with Labake

Guys please if you were in my shoes what would you do? Who will you take home to mamma. Cos i want to do that this december and wrap up marriage. But i am in a dilemma for nowQ

please advice maturedly
marry shalewa...
Re: I Am In A Dilemma by Nobody: 11:14pm On Dec 17, 2015
ABEG WAIT FOR ME, MAKE I GO ASK GOOGLE! I DE COME BACK
Re: I Am In A Dilemma by AfroKnight: 11:14pm On Dec 17, 2015
Acidosis:
You don't marry someone because you LOVE them.


Married couples fall in "love" after wedding oo. Falling in 'love' is a never ending process.

You marry because you are compatible. My advice: get closer to the girl you claim you don't love. Love grows with TIME. There is no such thing as falling in love at FIRST SIGHT. Just spend more time with her, as in quality time and watch that love grow

End of discussion
Re: I Am In A Dilemma by tintingz(m): 11:14pm On Dec 17, 2015
Broda Dilemma keep on Dreaming.
Re: I Am In A Dilemma by emperor003: 11:14pm On Dec 17, 2015
My man just sit down refresh your memory think about your happiness , your children and your future and follow your desire wish you success in interviewing them #onenigeria
Re: I Am In A Dilemma by Malakh: 11:17pm On Dec 17, 2015
that wont be a problem for me,i'll marry both, feelings will develop with second
Re: I Am In A Dilemma by UTMOST10(m): 11:20pm On Dec 17, 2015
At this juncture, you need God's direction

1 Like

Re: I Am In A Dilemma by akinladejo: 11:23pm On Dec 17, 2015
grin
Twaci:
You don blacklist the first babe na....wetin be your question again?

grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin

1 Like

Re: I Am In A Dilemma by Dannyset(m): 11:23pm On Dec 17, 2015
I swear to God, you won't find a perfect gurl in these days ladies. Even near perfect isn't available that much.
So if you think you won't find anyone that there would be one complain or two about, guy you no go marry ooo! tongue
Re: I Am In A Dilemma by profmallory(m): 11:25pm On Dec 17, 2015
Simple..
Die Young = Labake
Chance in Future = Shalewa
Wait on the Lord = Next one

OK?

2 Likes

Re: I Am In A Dilemma by Nobody: 11:25pm On Dec 17, 2015
dig deep Op.... Follow your heart
Re: I Am In A Dilemma by akinladejo: 11:26pm On Dec 17, 2015
Malakh:
that wont be a problem for me,i'll marry both, feelings will develop with second

u will not kill somebody.
Re: I Am In A Dilemma by christconscious: 11:27pm On Dec 17, 2015
I wish this will get to front page for op. Pls ma dear all that glitters isn't gold.I will advice u to go for the first lady. My reasons....you luv her according to you ,secondly she is financially stable more than u think but she doesn't want to reveal that to you should you change your mind to avoid total lost.gals that are financial stable and are cultured won't reaveal her wealth to a man who hasn't put a ring to her fingers.pls be serious with her.

4 Likes

Re: I Am In A Dilemma by siegfried99(m): 11:27pm On Dec 17, 2015
grin

Labake must hear this cheesy

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (Reply)

Nigerian Couple Welcomes Sextuplets After Seven Years Of Childlessness (Photos) / Groom Crying On His Wedding, What May Be Wrong? / Woman Hails Man Who Helps His Wife With House Chores. Photos

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 160
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.