zeongeon:
Yes marriage is not a cure for loneliness as you can be married and still feel lonely its happening. And being lonely in marriage doesn't mean you married the wrong person some factors could contribute to it for example your wife hasn't giving birth 5 years after marriage that is enough to cause loneliness, you loss your job and are going through financial crisis.

Marriage is not a means of escape.

Bible said its not good for man to be alone BUT didn't say its bad for man to be alone. even the Bible says one mustn't get married : 1 Corinthians 7:8
Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do.

God said it is not good for man to be alone, later Paul said(doctrine) and not God... b careful Hw u interpret the bible. God said b fruitful n multiply. How to read D bible :try to differentiate what God n Jesus Christ said from any other person in the bible

Toks2008:


GBAM!

For me as long as a lady is pleasing to my eyes and excellent in kitchen,i may cope with the rest.

Even when she is not skillful on the bed, I guess you can teach her that provided she is willing to learn.

a2space:
I am a 37 year old bachelor and I must confess that never in my wildest dreams did I ever imagine that someday I would be desperate to get married. When I was in my twenties, I used to hear of desperation amongst ladies to get married but I never clearly understood the feeling. I felt it was a "lady thing" until I got to the age of 34yrs. One day I was in my bedroom suddenly I felt the rush of emotions come upon me so strongly that all of a sudden started making me feel desperate for marriage. By the following year the desperate feeling became like torture and the loneliness was so depressing. I could no longer stand it when I attended weddings to see other young couples getting married. I could no longer stand it when I hear people discussing marriage around me.

I became like an object of fun in the office when they would call me "the oldest bachelor". I'm telling you, the feeling is not funny at all. Even when people innocently ask "Hey, why are you not yet married?" or "what are u waiting for?" It's a question that I just can't take emotionally. Though I'm doing my best to tie the knot soon but I must confess that it is a feeling that I don't even wish my enemies to have.

If me as a guy could be feeling like this, I can just imagine what single ladies of marriageable age are passing through emotionally.
For those of you reading my post, it is my prayer that you all get married at the right time and age so that you don't have to pass through the same emotional trauma of loneliness and desperation to get married.

Bro, I wish you a good luck, but I don't get the reason for your rant because i'm 35 and don't see any pressure coming out anywhere.

God's time is the best!!!!.

manie:



Even when she is not skillful on the bed, I guess you can teach her that provided she is willing to learn.

The more innocent and ignorant a lady is in bed affairs the more turned on i get. You have no idea how strongly i desire a very sexually decent lady...and not these sexual jagabans that have gone down with countless men.

obi123:


May God bless you , Marriage is a massive task , it is the biggest effort you will have to make that can last a lifetime .
so many people are married and are still lonely, are childless, are loveless, are penniless, are miserable and the worst thing some arent even getting any (if you know what i mean).
They are just living with someone with whom on a certain day they called friends and family and made elaborate declarations of which they have zero belief in .

Marrying late is not necessarily a bad thing , i married at 36 and good lord i wouldnt have coped if i had married in my 20's , i realise now that i knew nothing then, right now i am a grown WOMAN ,i deal with things differently in a more diplomatic way than i would in my 20's, more patient, i am bringing more to the table , i am accomplished in my career and in my life in general, i now know my priorities and this helps me focus only on important things ,i went into marriage knowing myself as a human being, knowing how i want to be treated .

while single it is important to educate yourself, improve yourself, read up, take time to fully understand who you really are so that you dont waste your years being someone else, dont waste your single years sleeping around and exposing yourself to all sorts .Your old age will reveal the kind of life you lived in your youth

Ask yourself will you marry YOU? i.e will you marry your type of person if you were someone else , start there

Use your single years to actually understand your OWN personality, a lot of people dont even know who they are , they have multiple personalities which confuses even they themselves , Find out what you actually like , write it out if it helps ? this will help you determine who you are most likely to get along with , whats your type? be realistic and honest in every way

My Dear that is the point, you don`t go into marriage when you are yet to discover who you are what you really stand for in life, otherwise you begin to grow apart from your lovely Cyndy who you thought you love so much, you become disconnected... I love the Maslow theory of hierarchy of need, self actualization which is the highest point of need in his theory is necessary to achieve before delving into marriage... Emotional instability and lack of clear focus on life priorities is a big hindrance to marriage..

I love your submission, so in line with my view and concept.
Wow!

blakky97:

wise words. does it mean all single and searching ladies in their late 30s are responsible for their predicament? a lady may have dated 3 guys beginning from when she was 21. first guy for 5 years, he disappointed, second for 8 years. he cheated. and third for 4 years, he boasts, insults, and lacks manners generally. she does not love him. where lies her fault?

Dear,I believe that God has a plan for every one. Some will meet their partner in their twenties,thirties,forties etc. A bad relationship today means you found another way to know better person. However there are some relationships mistakes egs;dating only your age mates,dating for long without definition,dating in secret,dating only hooked people,waiting for a man thrown down from heaven . There is also ladies who are so focused,a friend of mine refused to consider marriage till she gets a good job and 8yrs after graduation,she's yet to get to good job,I can count about 10men my younger sister for flimsy reasons turned down that are now married. I remember one the was rejected for having big lips and now we fast and pray for her. Bro,my advice is out of experience. For those who are not so lucky;pray and look out for people who are serious to settle down. Where I come from family and friends still recommend potential partners so assess those options too. No everyone will have the magnetic love story.

Toks2008:


The more innocent and ignorant a lady is in bed affairs the more turned on i get. You have no idea how strongly i desire a very sexually decent lady...and not these sexual jagabans that have gone down with countless men.

Are you sure, you have not gone down with countless sisters, just joking.

deeptesting:


My Dear that is the point, you don`t go into marriage when you are yet to discover who you are what you really stand for in life, otherwise you begin to grow apart from your lovely Cyndy who you thought you love so much, you become disconnected... I love the Maslow theory of hierarchy of need, self actualization which is the highest point of need in his theory is necessary to achieve before delving into marriage... Emotional instability and lack of clear focus on life priorities is a big hindrance to marriage..

I love your submission, so in line with my view and concept.
Wow!

She is a deep lady, who knows what marriage entails. Most ladies see marriage as a lottery to escape poverty and loneliness, but marriage is a call to service and sacrifice for both parties.

manie:


Are you sure, you have not gone down with countless sisters, just joking.

That is exactly the gist bro,ladies are always quick to use this line on guys and then i just smh.

Lets imagine all guys are randy,please which guy will refuse a free offer? Infact a guy can make do with at least 2 babes a day but when it comes to choosing a wife, he will wish for a virgin...please don';t mind those guys who form that they hate virgins..its because they believe its a waste of time wishing for one.

The bottom line is that we must start teaching our daughters the importance of remaining chaste till they marry..its the best gift you can give to yourself and your hubby..such ladies are usually cherished by their husband.

I am not saying sexual decency is the DE-facto in marrying a lady but it goes a long way to adding dignity to any lady.

Toks2008:


Honestly so i tot but how very wrong i am.

I am a guy with very high taste cos cheating on my spouse or lady is not even what i think about. A man must be with a lady that turns him on sexually, a lady that has the sexual endowments he craves for..this is the first step to "reducing" the possibility of philandering.

This is one big factor that is delaying me cos i have seen numerous ladies that can't just turn me on even when naked and GOD forbid i put myself in perpetual bondage where i will be making out with my wife and then start imagining she has the endowments i want.

And then so far the ones that have the sexual features i desire are either hopelessly in love with materialism,too arrogant and sexually reckless and this is really getting me scared cos im now getting to understand why you see some seemingly cute guys with ladies athat are not it physically because i believe such guys got fed up with all these sweet chics who are just too arrogant.

What will you do when the endowment disappears due to child bearing, old age, accident or sickness? I think any woman with a good heart can be made beautiful by her husband, but a pretty woman with a bad heart is a disaster.

I may be weird, but the first thing that to turns me on to a lady is her intellect, values and pure heart then the so-called endowment. Endowment depreciates as the woman ages, but her values, outlook about life and intellect appreciates as she ages.

a2space:
I am a 37 year old bachelor and I must confess that never in my wildest dreams did I ever imagine that someday I would be desperate to get married. When I was in my twenties, I used to hear of desperation amongst ladies to get married but I never clearly understood the feeling. I felt it was a "lady thing" until I got to the age of 34yrs. One day I was in my bedroom suddenly I felt the rush of emotions come upon me so strongly that all of a sudden started making me feel desperate for marriage. By the following year the desperate feeling became like torture and the loneliness was so depressing. I could no longer stand it when I attended weddings to see other young couples getting married. I could no longer stand it when I hear people discussing marriage around me.

I became like an object of fun in the office when they would call me "the oldest bachelor". I'm telling you, the feeling is not funny at all. Even when people innocently ask "Hey, why are you not yet married?" or "what are u waiting for?" It's a question that I just can't take emotionally. Though I'm doing my best to tie the knot soon but I must confess that it is a feeling that I don't even wish my enemies to have.

If me as a guy could be feeling like this, I can just imagine what single ladies of marriageable age are passing through emotionally.
For those of you reading my post, it is my prayer that you all get married at the right time and age so that you don't have to pass through the same emotional trauma of loneliness and desperation to get married.

There is no travail in marrying late. But there is travail in having children late. That's my personal believe

a2space:
I am a 37 year old bachelor and I must confess that never in my wildest dreams did I ever imagine that someday I would be desperate to get married. When I was in my twenties, I used to hear of desperation amongst ladies to get married but I never clearly understood the feeling. I felt it was a "lady thing" until I got to the age of 34yrs. One day I was in my bedroom suddenly I felt the rush of emotions come upon me so strongly that all of a sudden started making me feel desperate for marriage. By the following year the desperate feeling became like torture and the loneliness was so depressing. I could no longer stand it when I attended weddings to see other young couples getting married. I could no longer stand it when I hear people discussing marriage around me.

I became like an object of fun in the office when they would call me "the oldest bachelor". I'm telling you, the feeling is not funny at all. Even when people innocently ask "Hey, why are you not yet married?" or "what are u waiting for?" It's a question that I just can't take emotionally. Though I'm doing my best to tie the knot soon but I must confess that it is a feeling that I don't even wish my enemies to have.

If me as a guy could be feeling like this, I can just imagine what single ladies of marriageable age are passing through emotionally.
For those of you reading my post, it is my prayer that you all get married at the right time and age so that you don't have to pass through the same emotional trauma of loneliness and desperation to get married.

There is no travail in marrying late. But there is travail in having children late. That's my personal believe

deeptesting:
Marriage does not cure loneliness, if that is the only reason for getting married then take a chill Pepsi big bottle and relax because many are married and still lonely.. Secondly, what people say or think about you at 37 should not be your business, neither should it force you to get married... Bro i simply want you marry because you understand the purpose of the contract called marriage.. "Solitude is a gift".

Marriage is a covenant, not a contract. Covenant cannot be broken while contract can be broken.

manie:




What will you do when the endowment disappears due to child bearing, old age, accident or sickness? I think any woman with a good heart can be made beautiful by her husband, but a pretty woman with a bad heart is a disaster.

I may be weird, but the first thing that to turns me on to a lady is her intellect, values and pure heart then the so-called endowment. Endowment depreciates as the woman ages, but her values, outlook about life and intellect appreciates as she ages.

Different strokes they say so i really understand your preferences.

As far as im concerned, a lady who is sexualy pleasing to my eyes will remain so for many years even if those features change...that is the weired side of romance....

It is also important to know that many guys who cheat on their wives use some lines like.."if you see this girl bosom" "omo if you see this babe ehn she set" and then i kept wondering why on earth they chose to marry a lady who does not have bosom or who is not set?

That moment when you like a lady with round backside but you chose to marry a flat ass because of behaviour,that is the moment you should start preparing for a life time of sexual fantasy because you will always desire a lady that has what you want physically no matter how hard you try to suppress it.

Toks2008:


That is exactly the gist bro,ladies are always quick to use this line on guys and then i just smh.

Lets imagine all guys are randy,please which guy will refuse a free offer? Infact a guy can make do with at least 2 babes a day but when it comes to choosing a wife, he will wish for a virgin...please don';t mind those guys who form that they hate virgins..its because they believe its a waste of time wishing for one.

The bottom line is that we must start teaching our daughters the importance of remaining chaste till they marry..its the best gift you can give to yourself and your hubby..such ladies are usually cherished by their husband.

I am not saying sexual decency is the DE-facto in marrying a lady but it goes a long way to adding dignity to any lady.

I agree with you. May God forgive our transgressions and may He help us to make the right choice.

There are virgins who become wild after getting married and we have ex-oloshos who become good wives after getting married. I have a tenant who married a virgin from his village in the east, but his wife has made life so miserable for this guy, I think we need to commit our ways into the Lords hands and work hard to make things work out.

Op, stop being unnecessarily desperate about marriage! There's nothing to enjoy in it after the fun of the wedding ceremony. After that, visit the couple 2 months later and you will be shocked at the fact the couple who were all smiles on the wedding day has become like cat and dog.

Enjoy your single life joor! If an conji dey worry you, get urself a fockmate or if u like the Vaseline action, buy urself Vaseline and do ur thing solo.

Marriage is over hyped !!!

U place strong emphasis on decency. I agree totally with you. Its a very strong factor. I don't knw if I'd ever stay in the same apartment with a wife that cheat on me. Just saying I don't know. Its better imagined than experienced. Men and women must do a lot of works on each other b4 marriage. Unfortunately, this doesn't happen these days and so a lot of marriages are built on falsehood, pretense, pity and emotions. These are not foundations. @Toks2008

ifeanyiLoveday:

Marriage is a covenant, not a contract. Covenant cannot be broken while contract can be broken.

only jesus marriage between two virgins is a covenant,the rest are contract.you better shine your eye and be prepared to do away with the marriage that will lands you in prison or mortuary or assylum.AND IM A LAWYER AND A BELIEVER.

[b]Re: The Travails Of Marrying Late by Amhappy(f):
Dear,I believe that God has a plan for every one. Some will meet their partner in their twenties,thirties,forties etc. A bad relationship today means you found another way to know better person. However there are some relationships mistakes egs;dating only your age mates,dating for long without definition,dating in secret,dating only hooked people,waiting for a man thrown down from heaven . There is also ladies who are so focused,a friend of mine refused to consider marriage till she gets a good job and 8yrs after graduation,she's yet to get to good job,I can count about 10men my younger sister for flimsy reasons turned down that are now married. I remember one the was rejected for having big lips and now we fast and pray for her. Bro,my advice is out of experience. For those who are not so lucky;pray and look out for people who are serious to settle down. Where I come from family and friends still recommend potential partners so assess those options too. No everyone will have the magnetic love story.
[/b]

This is another comment founded on wisdom.thumbs up sister.GOD INDEED HAS A PLAN FOR INDIVIDUAL & thinking it will be like the plan for the next man is to live and die frustrated.

kaeforum:


There's no such thing as the right person, u must take a leap of faith , this talk of waiting for the right person is a ploy to delay ones wedding, people who say they re waiting for the right person aren't ready for marriage.

If der is notin lik d ryt person, y don't u jus visit a state whr y no no anybody, approach a lady n propose, den marry her in a month or 2. Don't study her personality.
Weather u match or not just mary her.
(it's den u wud undstnd wat d word "ryt person means.
BTW faith is not foolishness

[b]obi123:
May God bless you , Marriage is a massive task , it is the biggest effort you will have to make that can last a lifetime .
so many people are married and are still lonely, are childless, are loveless, are penniless, are miserable and the worst thing some arent even getting any (if you know what i mean).
They are just living with someone with whom on a certain day they called friends and family and made elaborate declarations of which they have zero belief in .
Marrying late is not necessarily a bad thing , i married at 36 and good lord i wouldnt have coped if i had married in my 20's , i realise now that i knew nothing then, right now i am a grown WOMAN ,i deal with things differently in a more diplomatic way than i would in my 20's, more patient, i am bringing more to the table , i am accomplished in my career and in my life in general, i now know my priorities and this helps me focus only on important things ,i went into marriage knowing myself as a human being, knowing how i want to be treated .
while single it is important to educate yourself, improve yourself, read up, take time to fully understand who you really are so that you dont waste your years being someone else, dont waste your single years sleeping around and exposing yourself to all sorts .Your old age will reveal the kind of life you lived in your youth.
Ask yourself will you marry YOU? i.e will you marry your type of person if you were someone else , start there
Use your single years to actually understand your OWN personality, a lot of people dont even know who they are , they have multiple personalities which confuses even they themselves , Find out what you actually like , write it out if it helps ? this will help you determine who you are most likely to get along with , whats your type? be realistic and honest in every way
[/b]

This is most brilliant, experiential and factual.u should be a marriage counsellor.thumbs up.

kaeforum:

There's no such thing as the right person, u must take a leap of faith , this talk of waiting for the right person is a ploy to delay ones wedding, people who say they re waiting for the right person aren't ready for marriage.




my brother there is a wrong person.you dont desire peace in your marraige and marry a covenant,comitted prostitute who is already convinced the way out of financial need is to lie down and get bleeped and get paid and this is what is happening in most marriages today.wives Bleep other men to meet legitimate needs in their young family,usually an ex moneyed bf.

@ josite, u've said it all to kaeforum

Marriage is a lyf time decision which can either lead to hell or heaven.

since when has marriage become an achievement? bros just get a Yoruba baby mama instead... obo go tire you sef.

ChiSun27:



Look at this foooo...lish tribalist giving out advise as if she knows what she's typing...odemu!!!

frustrated bastard....u are here again....

manie:
Same here, getting married early in other to have your grandchildren at 50 can only be determined by God. A lady in my church got married at 24 and did not not have a child until 14 years after marriage while some of her friends who got married at 30 have gotten their own babies. There should not be a competition for the youngest to have children, but as responsible and informed people we should invest and build solid foundation that will give our children a good head-start in life. Some of the endowment funds, trust accounts and investments made on behalf of my children should definitely by His grace give my boys a good head-start whether I am alive or not.

True talk. Have a sister who got married at 34 and within a month she was already pregnant. She has a one year old kid before her two years wedding anniversary. She has a friend who had married earlier without a child for some years. The lady was crying last year if hers was different and my sister told her that she is using her child as a point of contact for her to get pregnant. Thank God now she has a baby. Also know about two persons who has been married for about twelve years and still have only a child of 4 and 6 years respectively

407. emrain(m): Quote Post
since when has marriage become an achievement? bros just get a Yoruba baby mama instead... obo go tire you sef.



my brother,marriage could be an achievement if it is peaceful and inspires others around you.it is not just about obo.if it is all about obo for you ,then you dont even need to marry.this baby mama idea is a short cut that cuts short.if you grow up in mama papa peaceful home,u wont even take baby mama is an option.u he a son or daughter with a babe you are not married to and who freely goes about fucking other men while your son/daughter drinks fanta in the sitting room and who sees different man comes in and out of your baby mama's bedroom.The effects of all this on your baby is why we say NO TO THE BABY MAMA OPTION.

dovezeeta:
God said it is not good for man to be alone, later Paul said(doctrine) and not God... b careful Hw u interpret the bible. God said b fruitful n multiply. How to read D bible :try to differentiate what God n Jesus Christ said from any other person in the bible

Be fruitful and multiply doesn't only refer to marriage alone. God saying its not good for man to be alone doesn't still necessarily mean man must marry to find dignity in the eyes of God.

God saying its not good for man to be alone transcends beyond marriage as everyone thinks. its not good for man to be alone also refers to God completing humanity

- God completing humanity by bringing woman who has the ability to nuture society and not just her immediate family, they have the emotional care and stabilization that they provide through their ability to sense needs and care for pains in a way that we men are, often times, are oblivious to.

- God completing humanity by bringing man who has the ability to provide and protect for the society and not just his immediate family.

Man most times in the bible refers to both man and woman and God saying its not good for man to be alone knows that we all need one another, care for one another, love one another, help one another, we need community and fellowship to survive as human beings and not just marriage.

josite:
407. emrain(m): Quote Post
since when has marriage become an achievement? bros just get a Yoruba baby mama instead... obo go tire you sef.



my brother,marriage could be an achievement if it is peaceful and inspires others around you.it is not just about obo.if it is all about obo for you ,then you dont even need to marry.this baby mama idea is a short cut that cuts short.if you grow up in mama papa peaceful home,u wont even take baby mama is an option.u he a son or daughter with a babe you are not married to and who freely goes about fucking other men while your son/daughter drinks fanta in the sitting room and who sees different man comes in and out of your baby mama's bedroom.The effects of all this on your baby is why we say NO TO THE BABY MAMA OPTION.

hahaha... the op is obviously obo starved. that advice was for him not you.

ifeanyiLoveday:

Marriage is a covenant, not a contract. Covenant cannot be broken while contract can be broken.

So why don't Couples go to church but the Court for the dissolution of their marriage? Make room for those who don't believe in God..

scachy:

Me too

Lol

a2space:
I am a 37 year old bachelor and I must confess that never in my wildest dreams did I ever imagine that someday I would be desperate to get married. When I was in my twenties, I used to hear of desperation amongst ladies to get married but I never clearly understood the feeling. I felt it was a "lady thing" until I got to the age of 34yrs. One day I was in my bedroom suddenly I felt the rush of emotions come upon me so strongly that all of a sudden started making me feel desperate for marriage. By the following year the desperate feeling became like torture and the loneliness was so depressing. I could no longer stand it when I attended weddings to see other young couples getting married. I could no longer stand it when I hear people discussing marriage around me.

I became like an object of fun in the office when they would call me "the oldest bachelor". I'm telling you, the feeling is not funny at all. Even when people innocently ask "Hey, why are you not yet married?" or "what are u waiting for?" It's a question that I just can't take emotionally. Though I'm doing my best to tie the knot soon but I must confess that it is a feeling that I don't even wish my enemies to have.

If me as a guy could be feeling like this, I can just imagine what single ladies of marriageable age are passing through emotionally.
For those of you reading my post, it is my prayer that you all get married at the right time and age so that you don't have to pass through the same emotional trauma of loneliness and desperation to get married.

bro pls don't make any mistake, is not about marrying but stay married.