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The Travails Of Marrying Late - Family (10) - Nairaland

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Re: The Travails Of Marrying Late by henryhemon(m): 6:01am On Dec 23, 2015
Fridelly:


There is nothing like the * right person* in marriage. You can never get what you can't give. So, if you keep saying you haven't found the right person as a reason for any form of delay then, you need to work on yourself too.

If there isn't someone for you,why don't we just see any women and marry them? For me once you dear God,truely year God....that's the right woman for me.
Re: The Travails Of Marrying Late by zheroes(m): 6:02am On Dec 23, 2015
deeptesting:
Marriage does not cure loneliness, if that is the only reason for getting married then take a chill Pepsi big bottle and relax because many are married and still lonely.. Secondly, what people say or think about you at 37 should not be your business, neither should it force you to get married... Bro i simply want you marry because you understand the purpose of the contract called marriage.. "Solitude is a gift".
you are very much on point bro but I want to add a word or two.

OP has a valid point too. I got married at 38. I understand the feeling. But I blame myself. The problem most of us have is we sometimes miss the right person at the right age. No particular person is a destined right person. The moment you see certain qualities that make that individual right. But we always feel we can get someone better in the end though we may actually settle for less( regarding marrying a Very gorgeous and beautiful lady for guys and a wealthy and handsome guy for ladies).
Money and beauty isn't a guarantee for peace of mind. I can say my wife may not be as pretty as the ladies I dated but she remains my best because am with the best team mate and partner, someone that has my back, ready to build with me.
If you find a good person in time marry early, it has more benefits.

Some ladies were actually their own curse!! Knowing a lady is bound by time and yet they become extremely selective and lacking manners at the same time. In the end though everyone will carry his load. We have all wasted opportunities some may never be made up for. So be wise.

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Re: The Travails Of Marrying Late by LEAFLET(m): 6:03am On Dec 23, 2015
OP take things easy and find someone worth marrying!! Your story sounds like my story as I just turned 28 in my final year in school and drive a car worth 2million plus but I'm afraid I might be in your situation ten years from now!!! Some people might not really understand where you are coming from!! Try and stay focused, the right person will come although it's kinda hard finding guninue friendship that might innocently lead to love at that age!! Don't be depressed okay!! Cheers
Re: The Travails Of Marrying Late by CioAngels(f): 6:03am On Dec 23, 2015
When is right time? Your own time is your right time. You don,t have to use other peoples time and then make a mistake. Marriage is a lifetime project so please, don,t hurriedly go into it. Your best half will come at your own God given time.
Re: The Travails Of Marrying Late by Nobody: 6:13am On Dec 23, 2015
I nid a dark skin yoruba lady to marry asap!
Re: The Travails Of Marrying Late by udysweet(f): 6:13am On Dec 23, 2015
Hmmm,true words @Op. You cldnt have said it any better. May God help us all and give us the best:someone deserving of us to make us know it was worth the long wait. 2016 is sure gonna usher in a lot,among wch shall be miracle marriages,Amen!
Good morning all,have a great day!

Re: The Travails Of Marrying Late by DarkHenrie(m): 6:14am On Dec 23, 2015
While i empathize with your depression as regards being unmarried, you don't have to make your situation the ideal for everyone. You feel disturb mainly due to societal pressure. It's hightime we change society's perfection of being unmarried by standing our ground and making people accept the fact that not everyone must get married. Marriage is an entirely private and personal affair. None of those people questioning your bachelorhood will give you a dime to bring up a family with. That one is not married doesn't also make them less human and worthy of respect.

1 Like

Re: The Travails Of Marrying Late by tunde1200(m): 6:19am On Dec 23, 2015
Good advise I like that weldon.

deeptesting:
Marriage does not cure loneliness, if that is the only reason for getting married then take a chill Pepsi big bottle and relax because many are married and still lonely.. Secondly, what people say or think about you at 37 should not be your business, neither should it force you to get married... Bro i simply want you marry because you understand the purpose of the contract called marriage.. "Solitude is a gift".
Re: The Travails Of Marrying Late by egbaguy: 6:21am On Dec 23, 2015
Tbh @op.....u re over ripe for marriage. U mean at 37,u still wash plate? Go market to go buy pepper,grind and buy other stuffs? U still clean d house? Fact is u can't see a perfect partner,so I dnt understand d long wait. I am 27,and to get married dey hungry me ehn..... Marriage comes with being responsible. All the best.
Re: The Travails Of Marrying Late by gistrepublic: 6:24am On Dec 23, 2015
Amen! Same to you
Re: The Travails Of Marrying Late by PTimber(m): 6:32am On Dec 23, 2015
Bros u try o
Re: The Travails Of Marrying Late by livinbygrace: 6:46am On Dec 23, 2015
@OP same here ,going through same thing.Am 34 and believe you me,i never knew i would for one day think about it,but am under serious pressure now.Most people dont see you as a serious person,because they believe you are not responsible,expecially the elderly ones.
Only God can help now.
Re: The Travails Of Marrying Late by deeptesting(m): 6:51am On Dec 23, 2015
olalat:
Are you married? If ur answer is no. I regret to say u are disoriented. I wish to have ur profile. Coming from a broken home is one of d worst to happen to anybody in life.

I will take your punch lines as cimpliment than an insult..I usually don't respond to people who haul insults at others on social forums simply for being different.. It is immature, learn how to make your points without insulting the other party, it will help you in life even in your marriage... Learn how to disagree and still remain civil.. Good morning and have a beautiful day.

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Re: The Travails Of Marrying Late by Barywhyte(m): 6:51am On Dec 23, 2015
Amhappy:
Good luck bro. For those who desire to get married,pray to God for a suitable partner and hold on to the right person when he/she comes along. The truth remains that at as age increases,it is more tough for ladies,so don't wait for so long. The pressure you will put on yourself alone is huge not to talk of the one from ur family and friends. A friend of mine just got duped in the name of love. A beautiful lady that many men were dying for some years back. She was a good preacher against desperation and I still couldn't believe it caught her.


Hey, can u introduce her to me please?
Re: The Travails Of Marrying Late by deeptesting(m): 6:54am On Dec 23, 2015
400billionman:


Bros, was she working class when you married her ?

I simply cannot share most things online, they are private and would like to keep it private..However, i like to share my experience with others and also learn from them..You can PM me.
Re: The Travails Of Marrying Late by OCHOdee(f): 6:55am On Dec 23, 2015
byvan03:
I have seen people take the whole time in the world and still end up in divorce court. The point is, do what you think is best for you. The challenges you face as a young bride/ groom is the same challenges an old bride/ groom will face. Women have a larger pool of men to choose from when they are younger not when their youthful hue is already drying up. You choose your man when you are in the position to choose not when you are beginning to appear like the leftover goods after morning market.


If you choose to remain single for a longer period, let it be for the right reasons, the fact the you are yet to find your soul mate based on plausible criteria or the fact that you have no interest at all. If your criteria to choose a partner is out of this world and that is why you are single, then the person is on a really long thing .


There is nothing wrong with early marriage, there is also nothing wrong with late marriage as long as you are in whichever end for the right reasons.


God bless you

1 Like

Re: The Travails Of Marrying Late by josite: 6:58am On Dec 23, 2015
harbeedaymee:


There is no such thing as late marriage. There are different times and seasons for everyone cry cry cry

you are right and wrong.for a lady desirous of having kids,the right season will be anytime before she enters menopause and for her every other season after menopause may not be the right season again.

for a man ,since he procreates till death day,all seasons may be the right season.

2 Likes

Re: The Travails Of Marrying Late by Chriskpo36: 7:04am On Dec 23, 2015
We shall all get married sum day,@ d right tym. Kudos to all legible bachelors & spinters as we form our Association soon.
Re: The Travails Of Marrying Late by Nobody: 7:05am On Dec 23, 2015
I have known for a long time that many men are as desperate as women to get married just that the desperation sets in later.
There is nothing wrong in the desire to get married but desperation may get you to take the wrong decision.
Stop beating yourself up. Enjoy dating and you will meet the right one.
Re: The Travails Of Marrying Late by josite: 7:06am On Dec 23, 2015
FisifunKododada:
cool Marriage is NOT mandatory. I repeat marriage is NOT mandatory. Its a cultural expectation. Like believing in God or going to church or mosque. There is nothing intrinsically NEEDFUL about it. And if you enter marriage out of desperation, you will be more likely to end up with one of these very numerous one-chance marriages that will cut your lifespan by half. Be a man. Think for yourself and stop worrying too much about people's and cultural expectations. If you die now, none of these people disturbing your life will agree to join you 6 feet under. Wise up bro.


marriage is not mandatory so dat u can continue to fisi fun ko do dada.OJU E A JA
Re: The Travails Of Marrying Late by AAhmdi(m): 7:07am On Dec 23, 2015
scachy:


Me too grin grin

Same here
Re: The Travails Of Marrying Late by henryhemon(m): 7:10am On Dec 23, 2015
OCHOdee:



God bless you

Are you married?
Re: The Travails Of Marrying Late by Toks2008(m): 7:12am On Dec 23, 2015
elantraceey:
No matter how long the wait,marrying the right person will be worth it,no rush or anxiety about it.According to dygeasy,its not about getting married but staying married .

#teamrightman

There is nothing like right or wrong spouse in most cases but it is us who define what we see as right or wrong

My brother na your story be that..as for me,YES i really love to settle down but im not desperate in anyway.
Re: The Travails Of Marrying Late by eagleemmanuel(m): 7:13am On Dec 23, 2015
[b][/b]
deeptesting:
Marriage does not cure loneliness, if that is the only reason for getting married then take a chill Pepsi big bottle and relax because many are married and still lonely.. Secondly, what people say or think about you at 37 should not be your business, neither should it force you to get married... Bro i simply want you marry because you understand the purpose of the contract called marriage.. "Solitude is a gift".
deeptesting:
Marriage does not cure loneliness, if that is the only reason for getting married then take a chill Pepsi big bottle and relax because many are married and still lonely.. Secondly, what people say or think about you at 37 should not be your business, neither should it force you to get married... Bro i simply want you marry because you understand the purpose of the contract called marriage.. "Solitude is a gift".
deeptesting:
Marriage does not cure loneliness, if that is the only reason for getting married then take a chill Pepsi big bottle and relax because many are married and still lonely.. Secondly, what people say or think about you at 37 should not be your business, neither should it force you to get married... Bro i simply want you marry because you understand the purpose of the contract called marriage.. "Solitude is a gift".



I love dis quote
Re: The Travails Of Marrying Late by Barywhyte(m): 7:16am On Dec 23, 2015
zheroes:
you are very much on point bro but I want to add a word or two.

OP has a valid point too. I got married at 38. I understand the feeling. But I blame myself. The problem most of us have is we sometimes miss the right person at the right age. No particular person is a destined right person. The moment you see certain qualities that make that individual right. But we always feel we can get someone better in the end though we may actually settle for less( regarding marrying a Very gorgeous and beautiful lady for guys and a wealthy and handsome guy for ladies).
Money and beauty isn't a guarantee for peace of mind. I can say my wife may not be as pretty as the ladies I dated but she remains my best because am with the best team mate and partner, someone that has my back, ready to build with me.
If you find a good person in time marry early, it has more benefits.

Some ladies were actually their own curse!! Knowing a lady is bound by time and yet they become extremely selective and lacking manners at the same time. In the end though everyone will carry his load. We have all wasted opportunities some may never be made up for. So be wise.



Absolutely Absolutely!!!! That's d point. Missing ur chances when they come. This happened to me in 400level. A brilliant virgin and well-mannered 23yo girl at that time. I lost her due to my own stupidity and myopic nature. I have never seen any lady so close in godliness to her. But then, like somebody said on this thread, there can be spiritual distraction. I dread ladies I see these days.

You are on point bro.
Re: The Travails Of Marrying Late by MARKone(m): 7:16am On Dec 23, 2015
egbaguy:
Tbh @op.....u re over ripe for marriage. U mean at 37,u still wash plate? Go market to go buy pepper,grind and buy other stuffs? U still clean d house? Fact is u can't see a perfect partner,so I dnt understand d long wait. I am 27,and to get married dey hungry me ehn..... Marriage comes with being responsible All the best

I pity the woman u go marry embarassed

3 Likes

Re: The Travails Of Marrying Late by steveben7(m): 7:16am On Dec 23, 2015
Am 31 seriously need an ibo lady btw d ages of 22 and 28 for marriage
Re: The Travails Of Marrying Late by Toks2008(m): 7:17am On Dec 23, 2015
If a foreign lady complains about non availability of marriageable men i will believe her but if a Naija lady says same..i will yimu

Naija girls fooling themselves since time memorial
Re: The Travails Of Marrying Late by ogawisdom(m): 7:19am On Dec 23, 2015
musicwriter:
@OP.
Marriage is not something you do because others are doing it or because you're getting old. I'm obviously older than you, but until I achieve all my dreams on earth, I have no plan for marriage. I have plans bigger than marriage and it's fruition is what is really giving me concern, not marriage.

As long as I succeed my goal of changing the face of education in Africa, I wouldn't mind marrying at 50, because I wouldn't marry cause of children, but to retire to happiness. Just 1 child is all I'll need or none at all. I have no interest bringing someone else to suffer in this cruel world of competition, disease, injustice, crime, wickedness, corruption, greed, and sheer evil.

Rubbish oyibo mentality, marriage is a divine injunction. It is not good for a man to b alone. Only a child will say I won't marry until I achieve all my dreams on earth, better get ur head examined soon.
Bad market, except u r impotent
Re: The Travails Of Marrying Late by FisifunKododada: 7:22am On Dec 23, 2015
olalat:
Can u just point out a culture where marriage is nt embraced. Marriage is sacred pls. Its divine, its commandment from God or gods wc ever u blv in. Even animals keep relationship how much more we human beings. I see many people being defensive here instead of mk e4t to correct their mistakes. The Op wasnt blaming anybody, he was narrating his experience. I shared d same veiw wt u until i get hooked up. I regret it didnt happened earlier.

cool STOP lying. Their is no marriage among the Mosuo people of China. And their culture is still standing strong. Even stronger that many Nigerian culture. Many people in the west are not religious hence the so called sacredness of marriage does not appeal to them. For example in America ONLY 26% of Millenials between 18 and 32 years of age are married - an all time low. In addition, their are many people all over the world, who have been married several times without success and have just decided its not worth the hassle. You don't have to be married to be involved in a respectable relationship if you choose - basically millions of people all over the world 'keep relationship' without marriage. No one is been defensive here, people are just sharing their opinion. If you believe you have to marry before your life can have meaning and value that is your opinion but some people don't share that opinion. Some people see marriage the same way the see religion or believe in God -namely its really not essential to live a fulfilled life. And those bullies who shame single people just because they are not married should be ashamed of themselves - they are not different from religious extremists who won't allow other people to live their lives the way they see fit. Finally, just because you shared my views before and now you don't does not make you right and me wrong. People will take different paths in this world and the path you take is yours and yours alone, don't expect others to follow. She o ye o? (you dig?)

1 Like

Re: The Travails Of Marrying Late by zheroes(m): 7:23am On Dec 23, 2015
Am sorry to say but I have debunked the idea of a right time. From my experience there is nothing like a right time just the right person. The moment the person is right you both from within won't see why you should keep wasting time legalising your union, you don't need all the money on earth, so ladies be sure you and ur guy are on the same page otherwise don't wait, he will simply kill your dreams of getting married. When a woman is right for a guy he doesn't waste time to get it done.
Re: The Travails Of Marrying Late by deeptesting(m): 7:23am On Dec 23, 2015
Laeroy:

BRILLIANT!!!!!
Now give 5 Reasons why the OP needs to get married

I cannot enumerate reasons for anyone but your reason(s) must go beyond yourself or to fulfill your personal desires, fantasies, societal expectations, general conventions etc. Your reason(s) must be deep and encompassing to help your partner actualise her goals while you are achieving yours at the same time. Marriage is for matured minds, dont get it twisted age is not maturity.

Personally, loyalty is a quality i cherish.. I am getting old to be hanging around people who don't understand the concept of loyalty. Don't also get it twisted loyalty does not mean throwing away your rights..

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