Here is my story ;

I got married early this year and I'm heavily pregnant (38weeks).Since we got married its been only my family and friends visiting that had to spend the night.Aside my MIL who comes like every other week to help and look out for me,none of my husband's fam Av had to spend the night.

Then last week my hubby informed me that his paternal cousin will be spending Xmas season with us.I first got pissed when he said he will be going to pick her from their place.I said maka why a girl of 18.but told him if he insisted, he can go ahead to do d pick up even though I found it unreasonable.

Since the girl arrived on Thurs,she seats like a queen in my living room while I sweat out in my kitchen(note I'm heavily pregnant).And when food is ready,my husband calls out for her to pick her food.Then yesternight, I said I'm not hungry and of cos tired and since the house is full of food,she should go and cook whatever she likes because of that she went to bed without eating.

Since that yesterday she started locking herself in the room.imagine? This morning she woke up forming stomach pain,so my MIL who came around did all the chores including cooking.

To cut the long story short.if this girl was my family,I would Av called her to order. But I've decided to be quite because definitely this is her first and last opportunity to visit.

My mum has been here severely since I took in and when she comes,she helps with all d chores inclusive cooking(note,she is a senior lecturer,no b say she jobless oooh).Even when my elder sister passed a night sometimes ago,she helped out inclusive folding all my husband's cloths(note she is married and also gainfully employed).That's just to mention a few of my ppl,others are my sis in law,cousins and even my friends.They never sit and watch me sweat out,talkless of a small girl.

I'm already thinking making up my mind that aside my Parents in-law,I may not entertain all those young cousins and relatives from my husband's side because I cannot take such shits.because if it wasn't holiday,would she wait for me everyday from work(after driving in Lagos traffic) to come cook for her without giving a helping hand.

Maybe its just my take but for me this is one of those obvious reasons wives bar husband's fam from coming around

The more reason why i dnt like visiting relatives! They just convert u to househelp...

Hahahahaah. In-law stories can be funny atimes.
Sorry I'm finding your obvious discomfort a tad funny.

We all love our personal space, but sometimes you have to share it.

Maybe the girl felt somehow going into another woman's kitchen/territory.

What I think you should do is show her where everything is kept in the kitchen, and how you'd like your things placed.
Next is to let her know she is free to cook for herself and even the whole family when the need arises. Let her know she's free to touch your pot of stew/soup and you wouldn't be angry.

Everyone is expected to pull their weight around, and she shouldn't expect any special treatment. You can let her know which chores she can help with.

Another thing is that teeny bopper years she's still in. Teenagers- they always feel entitled at that age, most of them anyway so you may need to just have that at the back of your mind when dealing with her.

Be firm with her, but also know when to draw her close for a "hug".

Then last week my hubby informed me that his paternal cousin will be spending Xmas season with us.I first got pissed when he said he will be going to pick her from their place.I said maka why a girl of 18.but told him if he insisted, he can go ahead to do d pick up even though I found it unreasonable

Women of nowadays! I can autoritatively tell you that before this girl came, you have a bad motive against her, and from your write up you do not like your inlaws, not because they are bad but because you do not trust them or you are not comfortable around them.

Truth be told, no matter what that girl do in that house, in the form of chores, cooking, erands, cleaning etc, you will never like her as long as she is your husbands relative. It is not the girls fault, you are just manifesting who you really are. (A WOMAN WHO HATES HER INLAWS BEFORE EVEN METTING HER HUSBAND).
My wifes best friend have always wished to marry a man whose mother is late, even as a tenager. God answered her prayers and today she got married to a man who lost his mum early in life. she (my wifes friend) now has a 3 year old son. what if her future daugther inlaw wants her death too before her wedding to her son! BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR!
Most times i do not blame you women for hating your inlaws. I blame your weak husbands who allow you to devalue their relatives.
If you really wants to live an inlaw free live, please do not get married, or better still find a husband who is an ophan.
As long as you are married to a man or woman who grew up in a family and have relatives they must inconvienence you, and where ever humans are there must be problems, as a mature person you must find a way to solve your problems and not outrigthly trowing them (your inlaws) out.
THE REASON WHY MY WIVE HAS TO VALUE ALL MY RELATIVES WHETHER SHE LIKES IT OR NOT IS BECAUSE IF I WERE A NOBODY SHE WOULD NOT HAVE MARRIED ME. MY FAMILY, BOTH NUCLEAR AND EXTENDED ALL CONTRIBUTED TO MAKE ME A BETTER PERSON. I ALSO TREAT HER PEOPLE WELL AND WELCOME THEM TO MY HOUSE AT ALL TIMES.

assign her a chore to do and let her expose herself. 4

OP,

I honestly think you are very immature and you have a lot of baggage. You don't want your husband's people around you, and that is fine; but remember that you will need them someday and they will deny you.

You will one day become a MIL and I pray your DIL will treat you the same way you are treating your inlaws. Anyway, you just got married and you have a lot to learn, so you will definitely learn.

Your views will be very different after 15 years of marriage, trust me. You are no different from the 18 year old you are quarrelling with.

babeabike:
Here is my story ;

I got married early this year and I'm heavily pregnant (38weeks).Since we got married its been only my family and friends visiting that had to spend the night.Aside my MIL who comes like every other week to help and look out for me,none of my husband's fam Av had to spend the night.

Then last week my hubby informed me that his paternal cousin will be spending Xmas season with us.I first got pissed when he said he will be going to pick her from their place.I said maka why a girl of 18.but told him if he insisted, he can go ahead to do d pick up even though I found it unreasonable.

Since the girl arrived on Thurs,she seats like a queen in my living room while I sweat out in my kitchen(note I'm heavily pregnant).And when food is ready,my husband calls out for her to pick her food.Then yesternight, I said I'm not hungry and of cos tired and since the house is full of food,she should go and cook whatever she likes because of that she went to bed without eating.

Since that yesterday she started locking herself in the room.imagine? This morning she woke up forming stomach pain,so my MIL who came around did all the chores including cooking.

To cut the long story short.if this girl was my family,I would Av called her to order. But I've decided to be quite because definitely this is her first and last opportunity to visit.

My mum has been here severely since I took in and when she comes,she helps with all d chores inclusive cooking(note,she is a senior lecturer,no b say she jobless oooh).Even when my elder sister passed a night sometimes ago,she helped out inclusive folding all my husband's cloths(note she is married and also gainfully employed).That's just to mention a few of my ppl,others are my sis in law,cousins and even my friends.They never sit and watch me sweat out,talkless of a small girl.

I'm already thinking making up my mind that aside my Parents in-law,I may not entertain all those young cousins and relatives from my husband's side because I cannot take such shits.because if it wasn't holiday,would she wait for me everyday from work(after driving in Lagos traffic) to come cook for her without giving a helping hand.

Maybe its just my take but for me this is one of those obvious reasons wives bar husband's fam from coming around

Ur rant is actually baseless...assuming d girl entered ur kitchen to cook her food u will still find issues with it...she's a guest...u expect all guests to come into ur home,cook and clean all ur clothes and what not seriously? D ppl u mentioned are close family so they wud do it outta love but u and d babe sef no close and u expect her to be all chummy and start doing all chores...o ga o...some women need serious brain resetting...den u brought it to NL like we r suppose to praise u or go beat d girl or better still abuse ur hubby for allowing her to come to ur home...some women be finding issues where there's none since 1800

Non-issue!

She refused to prepare something to eat for herself and chose to go to bed on an empty stomach, that shouldn't even bother you cos she obviously wasn't that hungry.

Meanwhile, an 18year old is too young for you to be claiming territory with...
Cook your meals, eat with your husband, wash the plates both of you used and go cuddle up with your man.
By the time she starts leaving her own dirty dishes for you and not cleaning up any mess she makes, then you have good reason to tell your husband about it.

Saying you won't entertain your husband's relatives is not only wrong, but very unwise...that's if you even have the power to stop them indefinitely.

Your hormones are raging!! Just show her where the food is and tell her to cook whatever she likes. Just relax in a few weeks u will deliver. Meanwhile join the pregnancy thread in the health section.

Why not just open up and tell her what you expect of her instead of dragging issues with her? She probably feels like a guest and not very free to do as she would in her own family home. Besides she's only 18. Shouldn't you be more mature?

Imagine how you'd feel if your husband exhibits this kind of non-tolerant attitude towards your own relatives. Remember the house belongs to both of you, not you alone. So you can't be 'only my relatives' about it.

I just noticed you're already biased towards the girl even before she came. If not, you won't have problems with your DH going to pick her up from their home. If that's more convenient, why not?

Yes I know pregnant women tend to get tired easily. Still you have to try and be a good hostess. When you're just too tired, tell them you're and let them know how to go about fixing themselves up instead of exhibiting anger towards your guest.

babeabike:
Here is my story ;

I got married early this year and I'm heavily pregnant (38weeks).Since we got married its been only my family and friends visiting that had to spend the night.Aside my MIL who comes like every other week to help and look out for me,none of my husband's fam Av had to spend the night.

Then last week my hubby informed me that his paternal cousin will be spending Xmas season with us.I first got pissed when he said he will be going to pick her from their place.I said maka why a girl of 18.but told him if he insisted, he can go ahead to do d pick up even though I found it unreasonable.

Since the girl arrived on Thurs,she seats like a queen in my living room while I sweat out in my kitchen(note I'm heavily pregnant).And when food is ready,my husband calls out for her to pick her food.Then yesternight, I said I'm not hungry and of cos tired and since the house is full of food,she should go and cook whatever she likes because of that she went to bed without eating.

Since that yesterday she started locking herself in the room.imagine? This morning she woke up forming stomach pain,so my MIL who came around did all the chores including cooking.

To cut the long story short.if this girl was my family,I would Av called her to order. But I've decided to be quite because definitely this is her first and last opportunity to visit.

My mum has been here severely since I took in and when she comes,she helps with all d chores inclusive cooking(note,she is a senior lecturer,no b say she jobless oooh).Even when my elder sister passed a night sometimes ago,she helped out inclusive folding all my husband's cloths(note she is married and also gainfully employed).That's just to mention a few of my ppl,others are my sis in law,cousins and even my friends.They never sit and watch me sweat out,talkless of a small girl.

I'm already thinking making up my mind that aside my Parents in-law,I may not entertain all those young cousins and relatives from my husband's side because I cannot take such shits.because if it wasn't holiday,would she wait for me everyday from work(after driving in Lagos traffic) to come cook for her without giving a helping hand.

Maybe its just my take but for me this is one of those obvious reasons wives bar husband's fam from coming around

The separation of family and friends from marriage is important. It's only in Africa that lazy family members continue to sniff around the home of their married relatives. The truth is that family members and friends are out to destroy homes and marriages. Not one of them means well. For me, when I tie the knot, my house will be strictly on invitation. Bleep African traditions.

babeabike:
Here is my story ;

I got married early this year and I'm heavily pregnant (38weeks).Since we got married its been only my family and friends visiting that had to spend the night.Aside my MIL who comes like every other week to help and look out for me,none of my husband's fam Av had to spend the night.

Then last week my hubby informed me that his paternal cousin will be spending Xmas season with us.I first got pissed when he said he will be going to pick her from their place.I said maka why a girl of 18.but told him if he insisted, he can go ahead to do d pick up even though I found it unreasonable.

Since the girl arrived on Thurs,she seats like a queen in my living room while I sweat out in my kitchen(note I'm heavily pregnant).And when food is ready,my husband calls out for her to pick her food.Then yesternight, I said I'm not hungry and of cos tired and since the house is full of food,she should go and cook whatever she likes because of that she went to bed without eating.

Since that yesterday she started locking herself in the room.imagine? This morning she woke up forming stomach pain,so my MIL who came around did all the chores including cooking.

To cut the long story short.if this girl was my family,I would Av called her to order. But I've decided to be quite because definitely this is her first and last opportunity to visit.

My mum has been here severely since I took in and when she comes,she helps with all d chores inclusive cooking(note,she is a senior lecturer,no b say she jobless oooh).Even when my elder sister passed a night sometimes ago,she helped out inclusive folding all my husband's cloths(note she is married and also gainfully employed).That's just to mention a few of my ppl,others are my sis in law,cousins and even my friends.They never sit and watch me sweat out,talkless of a small girl.

I'm already thinking making up my mind that aside my Parents in-law,I may not entertain all those young cousins and relatives from my husband's side because I cannot take such shits.because if it wasn't holiday,would she wait for me everyday from work(after driving in Lagos traffic) to come cook for her without giving a helping hand.

Maybe its just my take but for me this is one of those obvious reasons wives bar husband's fam from coming around

The girl is a very stupid girl, no home training, is that how she sits down at home while her mother runs around after her. That is the problem with I laws, you cannot be candid with them else trouble. Why don't you call her into the kitchen and ask her to do stuff. Ask her to sweep etc

Me thinks she is just being a teen.give her instructions on want you want her to help u with first its if she refuses that there shd b a problem

Dear OP, you're absolutely right!!

If you continue down this path, I assure you, we'll see you in the future opening a thread to wail about problems in your marriage and how your in-laws don't want to call their son to order. Do us all a favour and don't change your moniker so we can see this thread and know precisely what you are

After all, a simple "Okay, here's the kitchen and stuff. Try and help me please with washing up after dinner, I'm usually too exhausted to stay on my feet and afterwards we can watch Telemundo/ZeeWorld/random TV station together!" but nooo.... you wanna act like a crazy Naija wife, amirite!!

Heck you're already pissed your husband used his car, the "$#^&*!! car, to pick up his niece for a holiday. Because in your mind she's not a human being...

(I sincerely hope this is your pregnancy speaking on this thread and would seriously advise you to back down right now about your wrong thinking).

Thanks for all contribution.I would have loved to reply each comment directly but for those that didn't probably read the write-up well.Here are clarifications;

I am cool with inlaws and if you read again I talked about my mother-in-law that we are cool together.We talk on phone almost 4times in a day and I even dedicated one of 4 rooms in my house to her so no one sleeps there except her.And of cos she respects my space,she doesn't come around without informing me.just like my mum too won't do same

Most men here will think I'm intolerant of the girl or maybe unmarried females here or even if your culture differs from mine.I am Yoruba and a cultural one.It is wrong when you are with someone older and you don't extend a hand to help.No Yoruba well brought up 18years old girl(not boy oo) will sit and expect her food to be served her (especially by a heavily pregnant woman).If I was her relative will she sit and watch me run around the house? Of course No.

For those who believe I should instruct her on what to do.I decided not to because she had proven ill -mannered and may see instructing her as bossing her around.

The fact remains that the husbands family sometimes,sometimes I say come into the home with one form of ownership and do some stupid things all in the name of ownership.If you won't come to my house and accord me with the love you would Av accorded your sister or aunty,abeg stay your house.

The home is for the Man and Wife and not relatives.And if you must come,then adherence must be applied.

lovinam:
Your hormones are raging!! Just show her where the food is and tell her to cook whatever she likes. Just relax in a few weeks u will deliver. Meanwhile join the pregnancy thread in the health section.

you deserve a kiss for this
Meanwhile chai na wa for we women sha!
Nairaland give me a million reason everyday i log in to this family section to thank GOD!
Ewo! God I THANK YOU.
back to OP
Madam take life easy na say you just dey form aunty aunty for her ? abi common 18 year old never warm up for your house to tell you aunty why dont you relax while i do the dishes etc!
I know what works for house A might not work for house B
and some teenagers are delibrately difficult
but how did you welcome her into your house if i may ask?
I married into a family of boys
I know am treated like a Queen
but you need to see me and his elder and younger ones
our relationship self make older distant relation either maintain their lane or join our party
life is too sort to be issuing orders abeg
next time you get a guest pregnant or not a girl deserves her rest!
just show them around and add that they could help themselves anytime!
saves you stress BIKONU!!!

babeabike:
Here is my story ;

I got married early this year and I'm heavily pregnant (38weeks).Since we got married its been only my family and friends visiting that had to spend the night.Aside my MIL who comes like every other week to help and look out for me,none of my husband's fam Av had to spend the night.

Then last week my hubby informed me that his paternal cousin will be spending Xmas season with us.I first got pissed when he said he will be going to pick her from their place.I said maka why a girl of 18.but told him if he insisted, he can go ahead to do d pick up even though I found it unreasonable.

Since the girl arrived on Thurs,she seats like a queen in my living room while I sweat out in my kitchen(note I'm heavily pregnant).And when food is ready,my husband calls out for her to pick her food.Then yesternight, I said I'm not hungry and of cos tired and since the house is full of food,she should go and cook whatever she likes because of that she went to bed without eating.

Since that yesterday she started locking herself in the room.imagine? This morning she woke up forming stomach pain,so my MIL who came around did all the chores including cooking.

To cut the long story short.if this girl was my family,I would Av called her to order. But I've decided to be quite because definitely this is her first and last opportunity to visit.

My mum has been here severely since I took in and when she comes,she helps with all d chores inclusive cooking(note,she is a senior lecturer,no b say she jobless oooh).Even when my elder sister passed a night sometimes ago,she helped out inclusive folding all my husband's cloths(note she is married and also gainfully employed).That's just to mention a few of my ppl,others are my sis in law,cousins and even my friends.They never sit and watch me sweat out,talkless of a small girl.

I'm already thinking making up my mind that aside my Parents in-law,I may not entertain all those young cousins and relatives from my husband's side because I cannot take such shits.because if it wasn't holiday,would she wait for me everyday from work(after driving in Lagos traffic) to come cook for her without giving a helping hand.

Maybe its just my take but for me this is one of those obvious reasons wives bar husband's fam from coming around

@OP:

You need to learn how to be hospitable. You and hubby have equal stake in the home so I would not let my in laws come is opata yarns.

Also learn to take charge... The next morning, you tell her to join you in the kitchen/ assign a chore to her. If she can't do it, let her go back to her house.

And that lady is ill-trained/naughty. How can she cross leg and watch you work?

How can you be doing everything and be nursing grudge against someone young enough to be youngest sister?

gost:
Then last week my hubby informed me that his paternal cousin will be spending Xmas season with us.I first got pissed when he said he will be going to pick her from their place.I said maka why a girl of 18.but told him if he insisted, he can go ahead to do d pick up even though I found it unreasonable

Women of nowadays! I can autoritatively tell you that before this girl came, you have a bad motive against her, and from your write up you do not like your inlaws, not because they are bad but because you do not trust them or you are not comfortable around them.

Truth be told, no matter what that girl does in that house, in the form of chores, cooking, erands, cleaning etc, you will never like her as long as she is your husbands relative. It is not the girls fault, you are just manifesting who you really are. (A WOMAN WHO HATES HER INLAWS BEFORE EVEN METTING HER HUSBAND).
My wifes best friend have always wished to marry a man whose mother is late, even as a tenager. God answered her prayers and today she got married to a man who lost his mum early in life. she (my wifes friend) now has a 3 year old son. what if her future daugther inlaw wants her death too before her wedding to her son! BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR!
Most times i do not blame you women for hating your inlaws. I blame your weak husbands who allow you to devalue their relatives.
If you really wants to live an inlaw free live, please do not get married, or better still find a husband who is an ophant.
As long as you are married to a man or woman who grew up in a family and have relatives they must inconvienence you, and where ever humans are there must be problems, as a mature person you must find a way to solve your problems and not outrigthly trowing them (your inlaws) out.
THE REASON WHY MY WIVE HAS TO VALUE ALL MY RELATIVES WHETHER SHE LIKES IT OR NOT IS BECAUSE IF I WERE A NOBODY SHE WOULD NOT HAVE MARRIED ME. MY FAMILY, BOTH NUCLEAR AND EXTENDED ALL CONTRIBUTED TO MAKE ME A BETTER PERSON. I ALSO TREAT HER PEOPLE WELL AND WELCOME THEM TO MY HOUSE AT ALL TIMES.

My friend I don't think you read the write-up sef.Shey my Mother in-law is not an inlaw?

So loving means indulgence for your mind?

I need no one to do me chores,I Av someone who comes around to do all that including washing with my washing machine.okay?

Next time you are reading,stay objective.

When you marry,make your wife slaves to your relatives all in the name of loving them Shey?

Park well abeg

Maybe that girl is spoilt not much home training, however you

Shouldn't use her as yardstick to judge all in laws, especially if your mother in law is helpful, that is what counts

Talk to her, ask her why she does not want to help, assign one specific house chore for her see how it goes, then carry from there

TooNoisy:
OP,

I honestly think you are very immature and you have a lot of baggage. You don't want your husband's people around you, and that is fine; but remember that you will need them someday and they will deny you.

You will one day become a MIL and I pray your DIL will treat you the same way you are treating your inlaws. Anyway, you just got married and you have a lot to learn, so you will definitely learn.

Your views will be very different after 15 years of marriage, trust me. You are no different from the 18 year old you are quarrelling with.

Aunty,did I say I was quarrelling with her?..

Please read again because maybe you read what u presumed in your mind.

So it was right for my Mother in-law to make her food while she chills out.isn't it?

I also went to an uncle's house at 16 some years back.even after travelling all the way from southwest to Abuja and got there late.I stood with my uncle's wife in the kitchen trying to help while she made dinner.I didn't sit to make her treat me like a queen that I'm not.

So if I need inlaws,I should be turned a maid to them when they would Av given helping hands if I was their aunty or sister

Whenever I go to my Aunty's house, she never let me cook, she does it herself. I help with bathing of the children and cleaning the house. You should relax o.p, dont give yourself unnessary worry over something temporary, will she stay in your house forever? You should learn the spirit of tolerance O.P, you are giving that girl a bad memory of you. Bear with her till she moves out of your house for good.

lovaleenny:


Ur rant is actually baseless...assuming d girl entered ur kitchen to cook her food u will still find issues with it...she's a guest...u expect all guests to come into ur home,cook and clean all ur clothes and what not seriously? D ppl u mentioned are close family so they wud do it outta love but u and d babe sef no close and u expect her to be all chummy and start doing all chores...o ga o...some women need serious brain resetting...den u brought it to NL like we r suppose to praise u or go beat d girl or better still abuse ur hubby for allowing her to come to ur home...some women be finding issues where there's none since 1800

From your comment I'm guessing you are not married.

So I'm meant to make her 3 square meal for a week as a guest...ok?

Aunty mi,note oooo I av not bn cooking persay since I clocked 34weeks because its BN me n my hubby which he understands or I eat at work.

Don't worry I will not rant again.infact before I leave for work on the,I will dutifully go and make her breakfast..that's cool right?

babeabike:


From your comment I'm guessing you are not married.

So I'm meant to make her 3 square meal for a week as a guest...ok?

Aunty mi,note oooo I av not bn cooking persay since I clocked 34weeks because its BN me n my hubby which he understands or I eat at work.

Don't worry I will not rant again.infact before I leave for work on the,I will dutifully go and make her breakfast..that's cool right?

Ginaz:
Whenever I go to my Aunty's house, she never let me cook, she does it herself. I help with bathing of the children and cleaning the house. You should relax o.p, dont give yourself unnessary worry over something temporary, will she stay in your house forever? You should learn the spirit of tolerance O.P, you are giving that girl a bad memory of you. Bear with her till she moves out of your house for good.

First note that this babe is the least of my headache, even if she stays for 2 months.As my topic suggests "Reasons why husband's rel are not welcome"

If you know me, you will know I can tolerate even a mad person.Morever she won't sleep in my room so wetin be my problem? My write-up was just to buttress the reasons why some react somehow to their inlaws presence.

You said your aunty does not allow you cook,that means u attempt to help or do u just sit and make her bring u ur food and then u eat.U also mentioned you give other helping hands

babeabike:


First note that this babe is the least of my headache, even if she stays for 2 months.As my topic suggests "Reasons why husband's rel are not welcome"

If you know me, you will know I can tolerate even a mad person.Morever she won't sleep in my room so wetin be my problem? My write-up was just to buttress the reasons why some react somehow to their inlaws presence.

You said your aunty does not allow you cook,that means u attempt to help or do u just sit and make her bring u ur food and then u eat.U also mentioned you give other helping hands

l



Then talk with her or your husband, especially your husband.

Miami11:
Maybe that girl is spoilt not much home training, however you

Shouldn't use her as yardstick to judge all in laws, especially if your mother in law is helpful, that is what counts

Talk to her, ask her why she does not want to help, assign one specific house chore for her see how it goes, then carry from there

Thanks,my husband has actually tried to talk to her.asking "why Av u locked urself in the room? Why not join my wife in the kitchen? Of course he is been careful because of future stories that touches because of cos he knows I won't go sweating in the kitchen if it was just d both of us in the house with my condition.So my husband feels guilty sef

I am an extreme extrovert and get along with people so easily.But I'm just like if inlaws are going to be coming around and be like this, I may not welcome any further.

Note oo: When she came,I took her to d room,laid the bed.gave her a new slippers she can wear around the house and said she should feel free to ask anything she needs.

I no try?

bukatyne:


@OP:

You need to learn how to be hospitable. You and hubby have equal stake in the home so I would not let my in laws come is opata yarns.

Also learn to take charge... The next morning, you tell her to join you in the kitchen/ assign a chore to her. If she can't do it, let her go back to her house.

And that lady is ill-trained/naughty. How can she cross leg and watch you work?

How can you be doing everything and be nursing grudge against someone young enough to be youngest sister?

Aunty,no grudge whatsoever faaa..

If I call her to do things which she obviously feels she should not, they may start circulating around their family now that I was ordering her about.

Funniest part of it,I no get anything to do for house,I have someone who comes around to do it.When my mother in law was trying to do some cleaning, she attempted to help but she refused so obviously I know its an intentional act watching me sweat cook while she relaxes

As for inlaws coming,I wont tell them with mouth not to come but will simply lock up.Shebi they wont come and sleep on my bed in my room.

If the wife is not warm and receptive,inlaws will back off themselves

babeabike:
Here is my story ;

I got married early this year and I'm heavily pregnant (38weeks).Since we got married its been only my family and friends visiting that had to spend the night.Aside my MIL who comes like every other week to help and look out for me,none of my husband's fam Av had to spend the night.

Then last week my hubby informed me that his paternal cousin will be spending Xmas season with us.I first got pissed when he said he will be going to pick her from their place.I said maka why a girl of 18.but told him if he insisted, he can go ahead to do d pick up even though I found it unreasonable.

Since the girl arrived on Thurs,she seats like a queen in my living room while I sweat out in my kitchen(note I'm heavily pregnant).And when food is ready,my husband calls out for her to pick her food.Then yesternight, I said I'm not hungry and of cos tired and since the house is full of food,she should go and cook whatever she likes because of that she went to bed without eating.

Since that yesterday she started locking herself in the room.imagine? This morning she woke up forming stomach pain,so my MIL who came around did all the chores including cooking.

To cut the long story short.if this girl was my family,I would Av called her to order. But I've decided to be quite because definitely this is her first and last opportunity to visit.

My mum has been here severely since I took in and when she comes,she helps with all d chores inclusive cooking(note,she is a senior lecturer,no b say she jobless oooh).Even when my elder sister passed a night sometimes ago,she helped out inclusive folding all my husband's cloths(note she is married and also gainfully employed).That's just to mention a few of my ppl,others are my sis in law,cousins and even my friends.They never sit and watch me sweat out,talkless of a small girl.

I'm already thinking making up my mind that aside my Parents in-law,I may not entertain all those young cousins and relatives from my husband's side because I cannot take such shits.because if it wasn't holiday,would she wait for me everyday from work(after driving in Lagos traffic) to come cook for her without giving a helping hand.

Maybe its just my take but for me this is one of those obvious reasons wives bar husband's fam from coming around

READING STUFFS like this make me see the beast in women.
And these things further delay marriage proposals.

At 38weeks, you are expected to be PRAYING for safe delivery, because you may likely go into LABOUR just as you are typing this rubbish. RATHER, u still have thoughts and time to type and upload such article.
U have already HATED the young lady before her arrival.
Pls. Persuade your hubby to send her home before you POISON her.

U should get your delivery bags and baby cloths ready by now. pls. add sanitary pads, Olive oil, spirit solution and delivery mat.

Also PRAY before leaving

WOMEN are indeed "WO" unto "MEN".

babeabike:


Thanks,my husband has actually tried to talk to her.asking "why Av u locked urself in the room? Why not join my wife in the kitchen? Of course he is been careful because of future stories that touches because of cos he knows I won't go sweating in the kitchen if it was just d both of us in the house with my condition.So my husband feels guilty sef

I am an extreme extrovert and get along with people so easily.But I'm just like if inlaws are going to be coming around and be like this, I may not welcome any further.

Note oo: When she came,I took her to d room,laid the bed.gave her a new slippers she can wear around the house and said she should feel free to ask anything she needs.

I no try?

Years ago my dear I told hubby same thing, I said I don't want to see this your people because of my sister in law attitudes,

But I had to correct that because all my male in laws adore me, their wives and kids get along fine with me, so all you have to do is be diplomatic with in laws see who is good see who is bad, work with the good ones ignore the bad ones

If the only bad thing that your girl is doing is not helping in the house you and hubby can tell her nicely that in order to live there she has to abide with family rules and one of them is sharing chores or go home.

My sister in law was worse, gossiping about me, stealing my stuff, bad mouthing, I had to let her go sharp sharp

Cutehector:
The more reason why i dnt like visiting relatives! They just convert u to househelp...

Ok so when u visit, you want to be treated like a king , yet u act like a guest abi?

I'm sure when u visit,you want to be showered with love and gifts ...isnt it?

babeabike:


Ok so when u visit, you want to be treated like a king , yet u act like a guest abi?

I'm sure when u visit,you want to be showered with love and gifts ...isnt it?

do u just get it at all? Pls try to understand my comment very well before embarrasin urself..

Cutehector:
do u just get it at all? Pls try to understand my comment very well before embarrasin urself..

If anyone intends to live with people it is only normal that everyone chip in to help with house chores, especially with no maid, a pregnant woman, or a woman who has just delivered a baby, a busy husband,

Now everyone knows visiting and only waiting to be attended to, eat and sleep, will wear your host out,

I was once hosted abroad with a couple I hardly knew, they had two kids, my dear I did all and every house chore plus watching kids free, because I appreciated they offered me a place to sleep and eat fro free, when I left to go to school they almost cried I was only 19 years then.