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30 Keys To Being An Effective Atheist - Religion - Nairaland

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30 Keys To Being An Effective Atheist by budaatum: 3:34am On Jul 18, 2009
M. James says:

A impressionable young atheist was having an attack of conscience and started questioning his faith in science so he wrote to a well-know atheist and asked him for some advice about living out his beliefs as an atheist. The young atheist received this reply to his question 'How can I be an effective atheist?'

1. Make sure your main focus is on Christians. You can 'touch' on other groups to appear even-handed, but ensure you are careful to make Christians your constant target; you don't want to get killed in a Jihad, do you? So only 'mention' the others such as Islam but then say that there is no difference between radical Muslims and 'fundamentalist' Christians.

2. Remember that you are looking for faults in other religions (Christians) not trying to defend yours so do not try to prove atheism! Remember, it's much easier to destroy than build up.

3. When referring to atheists always use power-filled terms like 'intelligent, educated, thinkers, strong minded and independent.'

4. Ensure you call Christians childish degrading names like, pathetic air-heads, pointless God-bother-er's, deluded bible kissers and insult them with statements which include the terms like ignorant, clueless, uneducated. The goal here is to provoke and frustrate the Christian to the point they become angry, then, you can then claim they are a hypocrite for not being 'loving like Jesus.'

5. Always talk about just being a good person remembering that, 'good' is relative to each people and culture, just like cannibals who say 'I really enjoyed eating Bill last night, he was really 'good', or paedophiles saying 'they love little Janet, she was so 'good' or Hitler saying that killing Jews is 'good.' You are allowed to define 'good' however you would like because there is no higher authority to define what 'good' is. No one can set the objective moral standard as that would put them in the place of thinking they are 'god.'

6. Be sure to set your own moral standards and compass very, very, very low so that you'll never look like a hypocrite in public. The lower the better.

7. Be as argumentative, obnoxious, loud, sarcastic and verbal as possible - there is no need to make sense or use logic in your arguments - just keep arguing.

8. Use words like 'straw-man,' 'circular reasoning,' 'ad hominem,' 'fallacy,' 'red herring' and 'non sequiturs' against any argument which reveals the false claims of atheism whether you understand those terms or not.

9. Never answer any justified question directly but quickly change the subject to make a completely different point. If you're asked why you keep changing the subject just repeat this step as necessary.

10. Always bring up examples like the spaghetti monster, Zeus, and Santa Claus to prove that if you must believe in one God then you have to believe in all of them, right?!

11. Always ask for 'evidence' for the existence of God but never accept anything presented to you especially when you are told that God is a Spirit so you can not perceive Him with the physical senses or with any physical equipment. Also ignore the reply that 'God is God and he does not need to 'prove' himself to his creation, we are to answer to Him, He does not answer to us!' At the end of a discussion remind them that all you needed was some type of 'evidence' for God.

12. Use the Christian crusades, the Salem witch hunts, and the Inquisition which happened hundreds of years ago to 'prove' how bad 'religion' is for the world.

13. Use steps 7 through 9 to get away from any historical facts of all the good that the various Christian charities have done around the world through the centuries.

14. Express disinterest and laugh out loud at the question "Isn't it amazing that Christians continue to preach love and forgiveness to the world given the historical fact atheists have committed the most ongoing blatant atrocities against Christians. Shouldn't these Christians, 'who you claim are the problem,' in retribution, have wiped atheists from the face of the earth for the crimes atheists have committed against Christians, rather than continue to preach love, acceptance and tolerate you.

15. Blindly ignore any questions about millions of Christians being killed by atheists in the last 200 years, but if questions persist claim that this was NOT done 'in the name' of atheism ,  which makes it alright. Failing this, refer to steps 7 through 9, this should get you past any awkward questions about atheists who are guilty of crimes against humanity, human genocide and ethnic cleansing.

16. Remember to call yourself a "free-thinker" and "open-minded" but ensure you do not practice what you preach with such 'virtues' when it comes to Christianity. Being open-minded with Christians is not an option available to the atheists as this would open a can of worms we do not want to get into, you must understand that you are not 'free-to-think' that 'there is a God.'

17. Try to laugh out loud or make some disparaging noise every time a Christian makes a statement about what they believe, even if you don't think it is funny or you don't know what they are talking about or you may think they have a good point just try to make them look stupid with your laugh or disrespectful noise.

18. Claim that atheism is for intelligent people who are rooted in "rational, reasonable common sense" thinking even though you can not provide any 'rational, reasonable common sense' explanation for the existence of matter or the cause of the ignition of 'life' or our existence, ignore the fact that less than 10% of the human population claim to be atheists and then use steps 7 through 9 to get away from the question: "what does that say about the other 90% of humanity?"

19. Confess to everyone that you were once a Christian but you saw that all Christians were just hypocrites and realised that reasonable scientific, rational, logical investigation is the only way to truly understand the world we live in.
Note: Ignore the hypocrisy in your own life when you pray in troubled times!

20. Refuse to accept or believe anything in the Bible because it was written by MEN.

21. Believe and quote other writings of MEN to prove that the Bible is wrong.
Note: completely ignore the inconsistency between steps 20 & 21

22. When referring to the Bible use the words 'myth,' 'fables,' 'fairytales,' 'ideas' and 'opinions' as often as possible.
Note: Ignore the question or use steps 7 to 9 to answer the question 'don't you believe your books and writings of science written by men just like we believe our Bible which was written by men?"

23. Only use the Bible as the authority when it will advance the atheist religion and will contribute to the atheist dogmas and doctrines. Ignore the question 'You have quoted the bible as evidence, so if the bible is true in one place the entire bible must be true, so what about the scripture that says, YOU MUST BE BORN AGAIN or THE LORD IS GOOD AND HIS MERCY ENDURES FOREVER or WHERE GOD REVEALS HIS MERCIFUL NATURE WHEN HE SENT JONAH AND SPARED THE EVIL CITY OF NINEVEH?'

24. Only quote the Bible verses that put God in a bad light, make sure every scripture quoted makes God look like a mean, unfair judge and never ever allow anyone to quote scriptures which show Him in the positive light of a loving heavenly father.

25. Tell everyone you have read the Bible and that you understand what it teaches whether you have or have not, even if you have only read the parts which support your argument and the atheistic religion, you have still 'read the bible,' right!?

26. Refer to step 7 through 9 when once you have stated that the problem in the world is religion, but it is then pointed out to you that atheism is a religion its self with it's own evangelical preachers who preach their own doctrines based on their own bible called 'The origins of the species.'

27. Reject all notions that you live by faith even though you must put your faith in the writings of your own atheist high priests and gurus like Darwin, Dawkins, Harris, Hitchens and Atkins and any other book that supports your 'beliefs.' Yes we put our faith in pilots, cars, food, doctors, evolution, and the next chair that you sit in but ignore this obvious flaw in our doctrine as well.

28. Make the claim that you only have one life and don't want to waste it on religion, then ignore your own hypocrisy by living out your own self-serving religion of atheism.

29. If your conscience begins to bother you because of moral guilt you can numb it with arrogance, self-deception, self- importance, judgement of the 'religious' (Christians) people, delusions of NO coming judgement and if this fails try some drugs, alcohol, sex, rape, murder whatever you feel like, remember, 'good' is relative and you only have one life, so live it, best of all there is no hell, right?

30. If doing the drugs and stuff does not appeal to you and you want to appear as a 'morally' upstanding person of the community, don't do the all those things but never let go of your self righteous arrogance and pride. It is this pride that will get you through many a hard times when you are struggling with a question of conscience and of your atheistic faith.

errr,  ummm ,  just in a final note, you never know, so just is case, every day ,  thank God for the free-will he has given you to express your religion of atheism as-you-see-fit, there just maybe hell to pay but ignore that reality and replace it with your own atheistic reality ,  for now, any-way, maybe?!

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Re: 30 Keys To Being An Effective Atheist by Nobody: 3:47am On Jul 18, 2009
FANTASTIC! It perfectly described the atheists here . . . is this a textbook all of them are required to read? grin grin cheesy cheesy
Re: 30 Keys To Being An Effective Atheist by BlkRaven(f): 11:47am On Jul 18, 2009
M. James

Those atheists who are vocal will often criticise the religion into which they were born and most of them were born into Christian homes so what do you expect? I have met atheists who have studied the main religions and criticise them all.  If the atheists here are argumentative, then there must be some Christians here who are also argumentative because these atheists are not arguing with themselves, are they?

Christianity itself is not an intolerant religion but many of its adherents are usually intolerant of anyone who does not believe in the concept of a supreme being.

Many of the points you make about atheists could easily apply to Christians.
Re: 30 Keys To Being An Effective Atheist by gen2genius(m): 12:44pm On Jul 18, 2009
@ Poster

wow. . .so so true! Bravo! wink
Re: 30 Keys To Being An Effective Atheist by manmustwac(m): 12:57pm On Jul 18, 2009
@Buda
Your post is obviously biased in favour of the christian

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Re: 30 Keys To Being An Effective Atheist by Tudor6(f): 1:29pm On Jul 18, 2009
They're so insecure in their beliefs that they'll create ridiculous innuendos to discredit the truth-bearing atheists. I weep for them. . .

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Re: 30 Keys To Being An Effective Atheist by Ogaga4Luv(m): 2:27pm On Jul 18, 2009
A Tudor who tooted the flute
tried to tutor two tooters to toot.
Said the two to the tutor,
""Is it harder to toot or
to tutor two tooters to toot?""
A turbot's not a burbot, for a turbot's a butt, but a burbot's not.
A tutor who tooted the flute, tried to tutor two tooters to toot. Said the two to the tutor, 'Is it harder to toot or to tutor two tooters to toot?'


Tudor dont get me twisted,Real people flushes God into the Toilet,didn't you think the God you have been saving may be yourself?
Re: 30 Keys To Being An Effective Atheist by Nobody: 2:29pm On Jul 18, 2009
Roflmao, sure took me a while to. . .cheesy

Hilarious so far!
Re: 30 Keys To Being An Effective Atheist by Ogaga4Luv(m): 2:50pm On Jul 18, 2009
Ahem!

Please allow me to introduce my selves. wink
Re: 30 Keys To Being An Effective Atheist by Nobody: 2:52pm On Jul 18, 2009
buda atum:

20. Refuse to accept or believe anything in the Bible because it was written by MEN.

21. Believe and quote other writings of MEN to prove that the Bible is wrong.
Note: completely ignore the inconsistency between steps 20 & 21
Beautiful grin grin
Re: 30 Keys To Being An Effective Atheist by banom(m): 2:57pm On Jul 18, 2009
How does those 30 points above proove that religion is true ?

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Re: 30 Keys To Being An Effective Atheist by JeSoul(f): 3:57pm On Jul 18, 2009
Buda you already know I love you kiss this post is just priceless! and is soo sooooo true of majority of the atheists in here.
Voted for Top Post of the Year in the Religion Section!

@All,
I'm sure you don't know but BudaAtum is an atheist. He just approaches the subject of religion from an angle I've never seen come from an atheist. It is quite refreshing to behold as he is honest, modest and graceful. I hope I (& we all) can learn something of these excellent qualities he has exhibited in his very limited appearance on NL.

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Re: 30 Keys To Being An Effective Atheist by Tudor6(f): 5:10pm On Jul 18, 2009
Jesoul he's not an atheist but a buddist!
You christains label everyone who's not a bible-kisser an atheist.
And we all know M.James is a bloody christian.
Re: 30 Keys To Being An Effective Atheist by Tudor6(f): 5:25pm On Jul 18, 2009
I thought i posted a reply to these points, where is it??
The entire 30 points are outright hypocritical and false, a blatant attempt to defame and demonise atheists making their christian counterparts appear persecuted. . . . how lame!

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Re: 30 Keys To Being An Effective Atheist by noetic2: 5:47pm On Jul 18, 2009
Tudór:

I thought i posted a reply to these points, where is it??
The entire 30 points are outright hypocritical and false, a blatant attempt to defame and demonise atheists making their christian counterparts appear persecuted. . . . how lame!

please sharaaaaaaaap there.

This has been ur secret textbook. . . .it has now been revealed. which of the above is false? grin grin grin

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Re: 30 Keys To Being An Effective Atheist by Nobody: 8:51pm On Jul 18, 2009
BlkRaven:

M. James

Those atheists who are vocal will often criticise the religion into which they were born and most of them were born into Christian homes so what do you expect? I have met atheists who have studied the main religions and criticise them all.  If the atheists here are argumentative, then there must be some Christians here who are also argumentative because these atheists are not arguing with themselves, are they?

Christianity itself is not an intolerant religion but many of its adherents are usually intolerant of anyone who does not believe in the concept of a supreme being.

Many of the points you make about atheists could easily apply to Christians.

you just confirmed no. 19 on that list. grin This textbook na wa!
Re: 30 Keys To Being An Effective Atheist by Chrisbenogor(m): 10:01am On Jul 19, 2009
That was funny, its good to see the religious folks happy, not that it lands any credibility to the existence of a God who is constantly relying on cheap shots from humans.
cheesy
Re: 30 Keys To Being An Effective Atheist by Chrisbenogor(m): 10:02am On Jul 19, 2009
That was funny, its good to see the religious folks happy, not that it lands any credibility to the existence of a God who is constantly relying on cheap shots from humans.
cheesy

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Re: 30 Keys To Being An Effective Atheist by Nobody: 11:12am On Jul 19, 2009
do some tweaking, and it sounds like a manual written up for davidylan and noetic cheesy

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Re: 30 Keys To Being An Effective Atheist by JeSoul(f): 6:40pm On Jul 19, 2009
Tudór:

Jesoul he's not an atheist but a buddist!
You christains label everyone who's not a bible-kisser an atheist.
And we all know M.James is a bloody christian.
  Tudor, sometimes you really need to take a deep breath and calm down before you post smiley. Why would I refer to Buda as an atheist if he hadn't already identified himself as one?

buda atum:

Personally, I am glad there is one more thread on the subject, as I haven't had the opportunity to contribute to al those that exist and can't seem to find my way into the discussion. Let me state for the record that for me, God does not exist - and this is not a belief, it is what I know, though I am not here to bother to convince anyone as it is not a thing that can be proven.
buda atum:

I blame the atheists though, really. Some of us have made atheism into a religion in its own right, so we cannot claim to be any better than a Christian or a Muslim - we all seem to have something we decide to believe over something else.
Re: 30 Keys To Being An Effective Atheist by Tudor6(f): 6:56pm On Jul 19, 2009
Sorry my bad. . . .must have mistaken him for someone else. . . .must be the "buda" in his name.

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Re: 30 Keys To Being An Effective Atheist by bawomolo(m): 9:18pm On Jul 19, 2009
buda is an atheist who reads way too much grin

funny thread.

i lol'ed at the one about having a low moral compass. na me be that cheesy

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Re: 30 Keys To Being An Effective Atheist by bawomolo(m): 9:19pm On Jul 19, 2009
JeSoul:

Buda you already know I love you kiss this post is just priceless! and is soo sooooo true of majority of the atheists in here.
Voted for Top Post of the Year in the Religion Section!

@All,
I'm sure you don't know but BudaAtum is an atheist. He just approaches the subject of religion from an angle I've never seen come from an atheist. It is quite refreshing to behold as he is honest, modest and graceful. I hope I (& we all) can learn something of these excellent qualities he has exhibited in his very limited appearance on NL.

i doubt you have read his posts on NIA. he has ammo for you christians too.
Re: 30 Keys To Being An Effective Atheist by noetic2: 10:13pm On Jul 19, 2009
bawomolo:

buda is an atheist who reads way too much grin

funny thread.

i lol'ed at the one about having a low moral compass. na me be that cheesy

grin grin grin whats the difference between u and the islamic terrorists?
Re: 30 Keys To Being An Effective Atheist by bawomolo(m): 10:39pm On Jul 19, 2009
noetic2:

grin grin grin whats the difference between u and the islamic terrorists?

i won't get 72 virgins cheesy
Re: 30 Keys To Being An Effective Atheist by noetic2: 10:41pm On Jul 19, 2009
grin grin grin poor u
Re: 30 Keys To Being An Effective Atheist by JeSoul(f): 2:15am On Jul 20, 2009
Tudór:

Sorry my bad. . . .must have mistaken him for someone else. . . .must be the "buda" in his name.
No qualms sweetie kiss

bawomolo:

i doubt you have read his posts on NIA. he has ammo for you christians too.
Not a problem. I'm not endeared to him because he sometimes exhibits a soft spot for the christian faith, but moreso because of his honesty, articulation and unique approach to religion in general.

Give me an honest man whether or not he disagrees with me than one who is dishonest and showers me with praises.
Re: 30 Keys To Being An Effective Atheist by No2Atheism(m): 2:37am On Jul 20, 2009
@budda i dove my hat for you, even Tudor cannot twist out of this one. That is one serious list you have there. Most especially point 21 and 22.


JeSoul:

Buda you already know I love you   kiss  [/b]this post is just priceless! and is soo sooooo true of majority of the atheists in here.
Voted for Top Post of the Year in the Religion Section!

@All,
  I'm sure you don't know but [b]BudaAtum is an atheist
. He just approaches the subject of religion from an angle I've never seen come from an atheist. It is quite refreshing to behold as he is honest, modest and graceful. I hope I (& we all) can learn something of these excellent qualities he has exhibited in his very limited appearance on NL.

hmmmmm me i go tell o ,  i go tell them say u are sharing wetin belong him with someone else called @budda o , cus i be amebo  grin


Moreover sef even if he's an atheist but men that is some serious friendly fire, that list alone is bound to nab most of the vocal atheists on this forum.
Re: 30 Keys To Being An Effective Atheist by JeSoul(f): 2:16pm On Jul 20, 2009
No2Atheism:

hmmmmm me i go tell o ,  i go tell them say u are sharing wetin belong him with someone else called @budda o , cus i be amebo  grin
  lol, in that case you'll have to report yourself too  cheesy cos I[i] love [/i] you too  kiss  grin
Re: 30 Keys To Being An Effective Atheist by budaatum: 11:57pm On Jul 20, 2009
I read stuff on forums, Nigerian Forums to be specific, and my eyes drip with liquid, my heart bleeds something red, and I shamed I am part of the constant "I am better than you", "you suck", that I see. Why can't people just get on, is all I think. Why can't people be perfected into the ‘Gods’ that religions, and the religious leaders we claim to revere have shown us that we are able to be, I ask? Do we really not understand the benefits (“peace”, “progress” at least, though there are more) which can, and does (my experience shows me) spring forth from the thought in our heads regardless of whether the God we worship exists or not? Why the hypocrisy folks, don't we all have mirrors we can look in and see if we are loving one another or not?

buda is most certainly an atheist. By that, I do not mean that buda does not only not believe in the existence of God or Gods, but that buda knows that there is no God apart from you, all of you that is! Or did someone - no Someone! - not specifically say, “If one does not unto those whom one sees, one cannot be doing unto any God one sees not”?

Buda does go to Saint John's with Holy Trinity every Sunday and Monday morning, let it be known - on Sunday to sing, and read, and be told something that exercises the mind, and on Monday to teach mainly Muslims, English Language, and to learn about Islam from those I teach. At no time during this English Teaching do I insult my students with the religion of Saint John's with Holy Trinity, even though the lessons are in a Church. In my atheistic way, I know that Bangladeshi, Pakistani, etc, students benefit more from the learning I enable them to acquire than they would from my indoctrinating them into some belief that means nothing to them and contradicts what they already hold to be true. In Christianese, I bring Christ to them by empowering them to operate in the community that they live in, I believe. As to their going to some Paradiso, I leave that to them!

I am indeed heavily influenced by Zen Buddhism, which is a form of Buddhism that even some Buddhists (I am told) frown on. It specifically, advocates a more mystical way of seeing things and uses any text to put its message across, so I am able to use my Koran, Bible, Thrice-Greatest Hermes, James Hadley Chase, Pacesetters, Alice in Wonderland, The Lankavatara, The Dhammapada, amongst others, to develop my mind. However, this list is  not exclusive, for I know the errors of eating only bread, (Deuteronomy 8:3). I am especially aware that even all the seas and trees in the world, both multiplied seven times, would neither produce enough ink or pens to write every word that is Godly (Al Quran 31:26). Yet, though much read, and still in no way as much as what one pen and the ink of even one ocean would write, one cannot claim that one knows it all and that everyone else is wrong. In fact, the more I read, the more ignorant I discover I am is more the truth; and if anything humbles one better, one’s tinniness in the whole scheme of things sure is it is what I find.

Behind the veil of what we call God, there is you, you see - a human being like me, who bleeds when poked, and cries when kicked hard, and laughs when celebrating a birthday. There is not one of us, but many of us with our diverse views, opinions, and ideologies by which we live our lives. All religions and societally beneficial ideologies, at the very fundamental, advocate the recognition of this one fact. I, for one, am assured to burn in the hotmost part of hell if I dared forget and be horrible to another creation. not that I fear going to hell or anything! Just that I would not like you to poke or kick me back is all. But just looky you all, so much loving you showing despite the difference, all you Angels saying nice things to one another, and on a birthday at that, and even without abandoning your Gods or ideologies or bents or adopting one another’s! Oh, so much love!

I found the above and posted it because it fit a certain way of thought I often come across regardless of religion or lack of, I fear to say. I didn't write it. The hope is that it will be a mirror by which each will remove the forest from his or her own eye, I hope.



P.s I am going to post it on NIA (Yep! We up again!). You might wanna see how a different group of people respond to the same thing.

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Re: 30 Keys To Being An Effective Atheist by bawomolo(m): 12:09am On Jul 21, 2009
this forum is much more entertaining than that desert.

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Re: 30 Keys To Being An Effective Atheist by Lita(f): 2:24am On Jul 21, 2009
I'm unreligious/uninterested and agreed with a lot of that list, good fun.

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