₦airaland Forum

uchezzz:
The 3 forms of wedding are okay and if the couple can afford it, they should go ahead n do all 3.
Trad wedding were i come from is important. If a woman did not do her trad, her daughter cant, or else they go back n do that of d woman first. So why not do it and get it over with.
Court wedding for government and paperwork is also important as long as u live within a state.
White wedding, God institutionalized marriage. Therefore as a christain, a pastor has to bless n pray over my marriage.
But in everything consider your pockets, the wedding is just one day but the marriage is for the rest of your lives
Like my pastor would say ' dont borrow money to feed people that are not hungry on ur wedding day'

where was it institutionalised by God.

Nicepoker:
what if he no agree.

He must

Marriage! Marriage!! Marriage!!!

the singles wish they are married while the married wishes they are single!

Marriage is simply d readiness of two hearts to beat as one, no matter d circumstance. To my understanding, church wedding is just to bless d union n to take d solemn oath in d presence of God n man. I've grown wif d understanding of d fact dat God is omnipresent i.e, he is everywhere. iont av to kneel before a priest b4 God can witness n bless my marriage. Drz dis part of d bible dat says "give unto Caesar what is Caesar's n unto God, what is God's" if tradition demands dat so so thing be done, as long as it isn't against d will of God, drz nothing wrong. I'm not saying white wedding is wrong. if u feel like doing everything sef, nothing spoil. D most important thing is d readiness of two pple to come together as one.

Omotayor123:
He must

na so the guy go take off.

[quqote author=Toks2008 post=39360908]


Ok sis but can i ask you a quick question.

If you had a legal wedding with someone and the bride price has not been paid will you say both of you are not yet married?[/quote]Toks2008,thanks for this wonderful write up. As a lawyer and as a Nigerian, the only marriage that is known, is the traditional marriage and if u like you can perform that statutory marriage which is performed at the court/marriage registry.(it's optional). You won't get jailed or penalised for nothing contracting one. White weddings is a hoax to me. An imported culture. Whites or westerners don't pay bride price. Over there, a young man can moved from Atlanta to San Antonio in Texas, see a girl he loves and marry her without parental consent. But in Africa, in Nigeria, marriage is between families and not the bride and the bridegroom alone. The girl is usually handed over to the husbands family and not the husband per say. Hence family (father) must be present or represented at least.
Now to the statutory marriage, it's trendy cos if u wish to travel out and/ or perform certain obligations, it will be required of you. And also in divorce proceedings the provisions of the Marriage Act and the Matrimonial Causes Act as usually adhered to, and the High Court has exclusive jurisdiction and this tends to favour the woman and the children of the marriage, hence the trendy nature. But the customary court has jurisdiction as per traditional marriages and the customs and traditions of the land are usually invoked which are often than none unfavorable to women(wivies).Hence they insist on statutory marriage.
Now let's look at it from the Jahoval witnesses point of view. They usually encourage members to perform one which is basically the traditional marriage, they have a service or marriage talk show in church and it's over. This was also brought down by the whites. Have you ever bordered to ask y this difference? In Africa, traditional marriage is paramount of that is our identity. That's what makes us Africans. Statutory marriage is as a matter of convince that can be performed any time after the traditional marriage. On a final note, no church or pastor will allegedly join couples in church, when the pride price has not being paid. No church does that. Have you every border to ponder on this and find out why? I rise.

Lezzlie:
Traditional marriage is the way to go for me. Marriage in the bible is often done in cultural settings of the day, hence it is traditional in nature.

I beleive church weddings came to bear in Africa due to colonialism, especially for youths who rejected their traditional beliefs and become outcasts. With time, we have grown so attached to all three forms of marriage rites.

For me, a pastor has no maral or spiritual authority pronouncing or joining man or woman as husband and wife. That should be left to the parents.

No wedding or marriage ever took place in the synagogue , neither was any conducted by any prophet or disciple.


But women, forever emotionally unstable will guarantee that this wasteful culture continues.

Nice. 100 likes

Toks2008:
Traditionally its after a bride price is paid

Religiously it is when a pastor or imam pronounces the couple married

Legally it is when you sign the papers in the registry

From the Biblical angle. there is no laid down procedure.

As long as you do all or one of the first 3,you are married before GOD and man..shikena

No, Islamically it is after the couple agree in front of everyone the spouse to be is their choice, man has given the wife her dowry (anything the woman wishes for as gift from him), the parents give their consent, then they are joined together in the presence of 2 witness. If one wishes, the marriage cld be done in the sitting room sef but the walimotu nikkah will just be to entertain pple

No, traditional is the most important because that is the requirement for a family releasing their daughter.
Followed by court, to fulfil government requirements.
Church wedding is the white man's version of our own traditional wedding so it not important

IamLEGEND1:
while the whole extravaganza of the white wedding is totally unnecessary and extremely superficial......... I think as a religious person, the needed form of wedding is the one ordained by a leader of ur own religion.....

Everybody has to do the registry wedding now obviously, but that is just to uphold ur end of the deal as a legal citizen of ur country.....which I have no problem with.

I think traditional wedding is the odd one out here.... relatives of the bride using that as a means to siphon as much money as they can from the groom and his kinsmen

The Prophet (Peace and Blessing of Allah be Upon Him) have told us that the best of marriage is the one with the least expenses. But babes of nowadays will be like igbe iyawo ogba gudu gudu meje ( wedding needs enough money)... .

olakan22:
apologies...are u making ur point based on d Bible or Quran? Moreso, d biblical passages you mentioned aren't dissecting d issue...in short, I assume u are trying to pass to us your own perspective on weddings other than d HOLY SPIRIT's revelations

Oga the Bible is our guide as Xtain and not some persons coming to say the Holy Spirit said when in fact Holy nor talk anything. If you wanna differ or counter anything, refer to the Bible. Plain and simple.

bobkezel:
Actually, to me, you made no sense. So because bride price was mentioned in ur bible as a fine for rape, i should then not adhere to my cultural practice. It is absurd and myopic to hear people talk about life making reference to only koran and bible. What happens to other religious and cultural beliefs? If you must talk about life then you have to be secular, leave the 'bible said this, koran said that' for your church/mosque congregation.
However one chooses to be joined in marriage is nobody's business, as far as the couples agree to it. But then, one's culture should come first to mind. You can't leave your cultural practice and be practicing another man's. How many of those white men practice yours?
So there is no such thing as 'best wedding bla bla bla supported by bla bla bla'. But i think tradition should come first, not some imported something.
Person wey no sabi where him from comot no go know where him de go.

May God bless you bros. African traditional marriage rites are our identity as Africans. Must be always be like the whites in all spheres?

Toks2008:
Did you reead the original post?

pleease do cos thre was never a place in the bible where bride price was mentioned as a condition for marriage but rather a penalty for rape.

I suggest you back up your assertion from the bible.

thanks

Stop talking trash. Go and steal the girl you want to marry from her parents na

klassic:
[quqote author=Toks2008 post=39360908]


Ok sis but can i ask you a quick question.

If you had a legal wedding with someone and the bride price has not been paid will you say both of you are not yet married?

Toks2008,thanks for this wonderful write up. As a lawyer and as a Nigerian, the only marriage that is known, is the traditional marriage and if u like you can perform that statutory marriage which is performed at the court/marriage registry.(it's optional). You won't get jailed or penalised for nothing contracting one. White weddings is a hoax to me. An imported culture. Whites or westerners don't pay bride price. Over there, a young man can moved from Atlanta to San Antonio in Texas, see a girl he loves and marry her without parental consent. But in Africa, in Nigeria, marriage is between families and not the bride and the bridegroom alone. The girl is usually handed over to the husbands family and not the husband per say. Hence family (father) must be present or represented at least.
Now to the statutory marriage, it's trendy cos if u wish to travel out and/ or perform certain obligations, it will be required of you. And also in divorce proceedings the provisions of the Marriage Act and the Matrimonial Causes Act as usually adhered to, and the High Court has exclusive jurisdiction and this tends to favour the woman and the children of the marriage, hence the trendy nature. But the customary court has jurisdiction as per traditional marriages and the customs and traditions of the land are usually invoked which are often than none unfavorable to women(wivies).Hence they insist on statutory marriage.
Now let's look at it from the Jahoval witnesses point of view. They usually encourage members to perform one which is basically the traditional marriage, they have a service or marriage talk show in church and it's over. This was also brought down by the whites. Have you ever bordered to ask y this difference? In Africa, traditional marriage is paramount of that is our identity. That's what makes us Africans. Statutory marriage is as a matter of convince that can be performed any time after the traditional marriage. On a final note, no church or pastor will allegedly join couples in church, when the pride price has not being paid. No church does that. Have you every border to ponder on this and find out why? I rise.

Interesting read

uchezzz:
The 3 forms of wedding are okay and if the couple can afford it, they should go ahead n do all 3.
Trad wedding were i come from is important. If a woman did not do her trad, her daughter cant, or else they go back n do that of d woman first. So why not do it and get it over with.
Court wedding for government and paperwork is also important as long as u live within a state.
White wedding, God institutionalized marriage. Therefore as a christain, a pastor has to bless n pray over my marriage.
But in everything consider your pockets, the wedding is just one day but the marriage is for the rest of your lives
Like my pastor would say ' dont borrow money to feed people that are not hungry on ur wedding day'

Can't the pastor come and bless them on the day of traditional wedding?

Solve ds Equation: Hw much did Adam pay to marry Eve n to whom did he pay d money? What is d co-efficient of his marriage to Eve? What is d probability dt dia forced marriage isn't d origin of man's problem in d world today?

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_wedding

White wedding didn't start from the church or bible, rather it originated from England. So it's a borrowed culture that we have so glorified. Your pastor can always bless your union on any day.

@ OP: in the book of Genesis 24:10-22, it was recorded that Abraham's servant took 10 camels, golding earring and half of shekel weight, and two bracelets etc. Its for what?

Tell me OP, is that not bride price, did he come back to Abraham with those things he took there except the camels? Where did you learn your own that bride price is not important in God ordained marriage.

I will advice you do your proper study of the word before dishing out untrue words so to say.

Remember also that Jesus attended marriage in cana and if its nt important Jesus would not have attended.

Thank You

Toks2008:
This is a very sensitive and twisted issue that needs to be approached cautiously and intelligently.

I have read in many places where people have expressed contrary views on this all time important issue. I have seen where a lady have asked if she can move in with her husband after traditional wedding?,i have seen a case where a lady insists that until a man does the white or church wedding,they are not considered married before GOD.

I have even heard many people stating emphatically that as long as a lady's bride price have not been paid then the lady is not considered married to the man and so many other discrepancies too numerous to highlight.`

Now the big question is what exactly is the module for a wedding ceremony and what ceremony really is ordained by GOD? When can GOD acknowledge a man and woman as married?is there any part of the Quran or Bible that stipulates a direct guideline of how a marriage ceremony must be conducted to be legitimate in GOD's eyes?

I will quickly answer this from the Quran and Biblical angles.


1.From the Quran:Prophet Muhammad (S) considered simple weddings the best weddings:'The best wedding is that upon which the least trouble and expense is bestowed". (Mishkat)

The Quran wedding ceremony module is simply hinged on Mutual Agreement of Bride and Groom called Nikah.

Marriage (nikah) is a solemn and sacred social contract between bride and groom. This contract is a strong covenant (mithaqun ghalithun) as expressed in Quran 4:21. The marriage contract in Islam is not a sacrament. It is revocable.

Both parties mutually agree and enter into this contract. Both bride and groom have the liberty to define various terms and conditions of their liking and make them a part of this contract.


2.From the Bible:I am very sorry to disappoint those who live by "my pastor said" or "my parents say" to empty their heads of every man made philosophy and get this straight...[size=13pt]there is no place in the bible where white wedding,traditional wedding or even court-wedding was ever mentioned and infact there was never a place in the bible that gave any preferred wedding ceremony[/size] and the issue of bride price was never mentioned as a yardstick for marriage but a punishment for rape and infact you can pay the bride price and still not allowed to marry the lady because you only paid a fine for rape-exodus 22:16-17:

It is quite absurd that today,many people have the erroneous belief that until all the three forms of wedding is done then GOD has not ordained such and while some say until a church wedding is conducted,GOD will not bless their wedding and i just look at the myopic mindset of these ignorant people and wonder where on earth they got that wrong doctrine from.

There is one scripture that sums up the steps to follow in any form of wedding ceremony you desire to have and that be found in Genesis 2:24: Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and join to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.


A.The first step is for the man to make up his mind to leave his parents to be with a woman and start a family together.

B.A couple can be considered joined when they are legally married. The scriptural support typically given for this view is the biblical command to obey the government’s laws (Romans 13:1–7; 1 Peter 2:17). A couple can also be considered joined together in God’s eyes when they have completed some kind of formal wedding ceremony whether in the church or culturally.

C.The third and final stage is becoming one flesh which occurs when sexual act occurs and this is why many people are warned against indiscriminate sexual acts as any sexual act is actually fulfilling the third stage of marital union and many people have actually been married to so many people in their life time.

So whether you decide to have just one of the 3 mode of celebration or you want to do Religious,traditional and court,you are very free.But it is important to note that in GOD's eyes the only thing he recognizes as directed by him is for a man to leave his parents,be joined to his wife and lastly become one with her and which ever way both of you decide to go about the ceremony as long as its not against his ordinances,its perfectly ok.

I hope this makes sense.

Where did Jesus perform his first miracle?

interesting

8unit:
Where did Jesus perform his first miracle?

for the fact that he performed his first miracle does that mean its church marriage or mosque or traditional marriage. All we were told is that he went for a marriage

Nice[color=#770077][/color]

What us going on here between una two...tmf(twisting my fingers)

Toks2008:
This is a very sensitive and twisted issue that needs to be approached cautiously and intelligently.

I have read in many places where people have expressed contrary views on this all time important issue. I have seen where a lady have asked if she can move in with her husband after traditional wedding?,i have seen a case where a lady insists that until a man does the white or church wedding,they are not considered married before GOD.

I have even heard many people stating emphatically that as long as a lady's bride price have not been paid then the lady is not considered married to the man and so many other discrepancies too numerous to highlight.`

Now the big question is what exactly is the module for a wedding ceremony and what ceremony really is ordained by GOD? When can GOD acknowledge a man and woman as married?is there any part of the Quran or Bible that stipulates a direct guideline of how a marriage ceremony must be conducted to be legitimate in GOD's eyes?

I will quickly answer this from the Quran and Biblical angles.


1.From the Quran:Prophet Muhammad (S) considered simple weddings the best weddings:'The best wedding is that upon which the least trouble and expense is bestowed". (Mishkat)

The Quran wedding ceremony module is simply hinged on Mutual Agreement of Bride and Groom called Nikah.

Marriage (nikah) is a solemn and sacred social contract between bride and groom. This contract is a strong covenant (mithaqun ghalithun) as expressed in Quran 4:21. The marriage contract in Islam is not a sacrament. It is revocable.

Both parties mutually agree and enter into this contract. Both bride and groom have the liberty to define various terms and conditions of their liking and make them a part of this contract.


2.From the Bible:I am very sorry to disappoint those who live by "my pastor said" or "my parents say" to empty their heads of every man made philosophy and get this straight...[size=13pt]there is no place in the bible where white wedding,traditional wedding or even court-wedding was ever mentioned and infact there was never a place in the bible that gave any preferred wedding ceremony[/size] and the issue of bride price was never mentioned as a yardstick for marriage but a punishment for rape and infact you can pay the bride price and still not allowed to marry the lady because you only paid a fine for rape-exodus 22:16-17:

It is quite absurd that today,many people have the erroneous belief that until all the three forms of wedding is done then GOD has not ordained such and while some say until a church wedding is conducted,GOD will not bless their wedding and i just look at the myopic mindset of these ignorant people and wonder where on earth they got that wrong doctrine from.

There is one scripture that sums up the steps to follow in any form of wedding ceremony you desire to have and that be found in Genesis 2:24: Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and join to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.


A.The first step is for the man to make up his mind to leave his parents to be with a woman and start a family together.

B.A couple can be considered joined when they are legally married. The scriptural support typically given for this view is the biblical command to obey the government’s laws (Romans 13:1–7; 1 Peter 2:17). A couple can also be considered joined together in God’s eyes when they have completed some kind of formal wedding ceremony whether in the church or culturally.

C.The third and final stage is becoming one flesh which occurs when sexual act occurs and this is why many people are warned against indiscriminate sexual acts as any sexual act is actually fulfilling the third stage of marital union and many people have actually been married to so many people in their life time.

So whether you decide to have just one of the 3 mode of celebration or you want to do Religious,traditional and court,you are very free.But it is important to note that in GOD's eyes the only thing he recognizes as directed by him is for a man to leave his parents,be joined to his wife and lastly become one with her and which ever way both of you decide to go about the ceremony as long as its not against his ordinances,its perfectly ok.

I hope this makes sense.

makes perfect sence bro

@poster let me help your anger.........when you read your bibilecvery well you will see in genesis that gifts were given to Abraham before Sarah was taken from him because he said she was his sister. In the other 4 books God specifically gave the guidelines on how to marry. The man after seeing the lady will take his family to the lady's ppl, they will give the lady's ppl gifts. This is the same way it is done in Nigeria. Any couple living together without the bride price paid God sees them as FORNICATORS (muslim, christian or even you dont believe the bible).
Church wedding is not a must but the BRIDE PRICE is.
Thanks.

The confusion continues. Not one single thing is in agreement in religion.

bid4rich:
@ OP: in the book of Genesis 24:10-22, it was recorded that Abraham's servant took 10 camels, golding earring and half of shekel weight, and two bracelets etc. Its for what?

Tell me OP, is that not bride price, did he come back to Abraham with those things he took there except the camels? Where did you learn your own that bride price is not important in God ordained marriage.

I will advice you do your proper study of the word before dishing out untrue words so to say.

Remember also that Jesus attended marriage in cana and if its nt important Jesus would not have attended.

Thank You

Oga go and read again...

Bride price in the bible is different from Abraham servant gave rebekah and her family.

bride price is a specified sum paid as a penalty for rape while what Abraham gave was a voluntary gift and no where was it mentioned in the bible that it is a compulsory practise.

Before i write anything on African largest online social platform im always careful to do thourough home work.

Hope you understand..NO WHERE in the bible was bride price mentioned as a prerequisite for marriage but as a penalty for defiling a virgin.And yes you can pay bride price and still not be given the woman to marry.

EXODUS 22 17

If her father utterly refuses to give her
to him, he will still pay money equal to
the bride-price for violating virgins.

Toks2008:
Ok sis but can i ask you a quick question.

If you had a legal wedding with someone and the bride price has not been paid will you say both of you are not yet married?

Yes, if the bride price has not been paid YOU ARE NOT MARRIED. That is our culture, even Jesus respected cultural practises, I remember you drumming it into my head that we are africans, it's funny you only remember that when it suits you.

if u read d same verse of exodus u quote u will see DAT for rape d person must pay dsame dowry they pay to virgins that is to say they pay dowry bfor marriage to virgins. And who are dowry paid to? d parents of bride and that is to tell u DAT d consent of parents are very important because d Bible said so by d dowry aspect so stop twisting tins in ur favor. so far both parents have agreed they are married d rest are for formality.

uzolexis:
Yes, if the bride price has not been paid YOU ARE NOT MARRIED. That is our culture, even Jesus respected cultural practises, I remember you drumming it into my head that we are africans, it's funny you only remember that when it suits you.

kilagbe kileju? na question i ask.

ok culturally you are not married to him so you can simply marry another man abi even without going through the legal divorce...abeh ansa mi

iwakunbaba:
@poster let me help your anger.........when you read your bibilecvery well you will see in genesis that gifts were given to Abraham before Sarah was taken from him because he said she was his sister. In the other 4 books God specifically gave the guidelines on how to marry. The man after seeing the lady will take his family to the lady's ppl, they will give the lady's ppl gifts. This is the same way it is done in Nigeria. Any couple living together without the bride price paid God sees them as FORNICATORS (muslim, christian or even you dont believe the bible).
Church wedding is not a must but the BRIDE PRICE is.
Thanks.

back up your philosophy with scriptures

how long did Jacob work for his wife father bfor she was released to him they even give him d one he didn't want he had to work second round bfor d one e want was given to him wat will u call such a payment by wrking for his father in law to b bfor he gets his wife 2 wives