Toks2008:


kilagbe kileju? na question i ask.

ok culturally you are not married to him so you can simply marry another man abi even without going through the legal divorce...abeh ansa mi

If the bride price has not being paid you are not married simple...culturally or otherwise..if you like do the church, court and Nikai but if the traditional rights have not been done you are not married.
this is a perfect answer

Toks2008,thanks for this wonderful write up. As a lawyer and as a Nigerian, the only marriage that is known, is the traditional marriage and if u like you can perform that statutory marriage which is performed at the court/marriage registry.(it's optional). You won't get jailed or penalised for nothing contracting one. White weddings is a hoax to me. An imported culture. Whites or westerners don't pay bride price. Over there, a young man can moved from Atlanta to San Antonio in Texas, see a girl he loves and marry her without parental consent. But in Africa, in Nigeria, marriage is between families and not the bride and the bridegroom alone. The girl is usually handed over to the husbands family and not the husband per say. Hence family (father) must be present or represented at least.
Now to the statutory marriage, it's trendy cos if u wish to travel out and/ or perform certain obligations, it will be required of you. And also in divorce proceedings the provisions of the Marriage Act and the Matrimonial Causes Act as usually adhered to, and the High Court has exclusive jurisdiction and this tends to favour the woman and the children of the marriage, hence the trendy nature. But the customary court has jurisdiction as per traditional marriages and the customs and traditions of the land are usually invoked which are often than none unfavorable to women(wivies).Hence they insist on statutory marriage.
Now let's look at it from the Jahoval witnesses point of view. They usually encourage members to perform one which is basically the traditional marriage, they have a service or marriage talk show in church and it's over. This was also brought down by the whites. Have you ever bordered to ask y this difference? In Africa, traditional marriage is paramount of that is our identity. That's what makes us Africans. Statutory marriage is as a matter of convince that can be performed any time after the traditional marriage. On a final note, no church or pastor will allegedly join couples in church, when the pride price has not being paid. No church does that. Have you every border to ponder on this and find out why? I rise.

OK.

So na today nairaland mods come get time move this topic come front page. If na davido share photo of his toilet. Na instanta the useless news go hit FP

uzolexis:

If the bride price has not being paid you are not married simple...culturally or otherwise..if you like do the church, court and Nikai but if the traditional rights have not been done you are not married.
this is a perfect answer

You are just making noise..go do legal wedding then waka comot go marry another man witout divorce..nah 6yrs dem go dash u and the unfortunate man..

So stop making noise abeg.

Op, I don't think you have read your Bible (if you have any) well.



In Genesis, when the servant of Abraham found Rebecca for Issac, certain things were given to Rebecca's parent. What would you call those things Since you say that there is nothing like dowry in the Bible.



Secondly, Jesus (in the new testament) performed his first miracle in a ceremony, please what ceremony was that
Since you said that there is nothing like wedding, traditional or court marriage.









You want to leave your parent and carry somebody daughter for free..

olamigbemi:
Biblically they aiint married! Let's just do it the way God wants!

How does God want? Kindly point out where marriage was conducted with a prophet conducting either from old testament or new testament.
Church wedding is never a biblical obligation. People should know what is biblical origin from what is European culture introduced by the crusaders.

jnrbayano:

There's no place in the bible where Nairaland and its usage is written.
Why do you use Nairaland?

God bless you

FP worthy!!! Nice op

Gbam!!!

bidex:

for the fact that he performed his first miracle does that mean its church marriage or mosque or traditional marriage. All we were told is that he went for a marriage

Read John 2 vs 6, and you will see clearly the type of marriage Jesus attended.

scave:
how long did Jacob work for his wife father bfor she was released to him they even give him d one he didn't want he had to work second round bfor d one e want was given to him wat will u call such a payment by wrking for his father in law to b bfor he gets his wife 2 wives

It is so amazing how people read the Bible out of context.

We have two types of bride price in the bible.

1.The penalty for rape.

Exodus 22:16-17 “If a man seduces a virgin who is not betrothed and lies with her, he shall give the bride price for her and make her his wife. If her father utterly refuses to give her to him, he shall pay money equal to the bride price for virgins."


2. Voluntary Bride price: This was the type Abraham gave to Rebekah and her mum and family and also the type Jacob offered as service and in these two cases,none was made mandatory but was pure voluntary decision of the groom.

Genesis 24:53 Then the servant brought out gold and silver jewelry and articles of clothing and gave them to Rebekah; he also gave costly gifts to her brother and to her mother.

Genesis 29:18 Jacob loved Rachel. And he said, “I will serve you seven years for your younger daughter Rachel

If we look deeply we will see that voluntary giftd by the groom to be is more biblical and not the practice of today where the father of bride makes list of items but nevertheless as people guided by tradition and culture,we must adhere to them but by so doing,we must draw a line between GOD's injunction and man made practices.

divalizzy:
FP worthy!!! Nice op

Thanks sis.

I am only trying to let people see facts concerning wedding ceremonies because many of us have been misled by the so called men of GOD who just use human philosophy to preach to people and also for many people who are mindless but all they do is follow what a pastor says to see the truth from the word of GOD.

God never laid down any particular type of wedding ceremony as most preferred...if you have money for just registry please go ahead and start living your life..after-all in the western world there is nothing like bride price and that does not nullify their marriage but it is only in Nigeria that we will have clueless ladies who will fight a man tooth and nail that a white wedding must be done even when the guy is not buoyant enough.

In my opinion, if you know you don't want to be seen as married then don't do any type of wedding be it legal,church or traditional because doing all ore one of these 3 is as good as being married before GOD and man because you have fulfilled the 3 procedure of leaving your parents,joining to your spouse and eventually becoming one if this have not been done already.

uchezzz:
The 3 forms of wedding are okay and if the couple can afford it, they should go ahead n do all 3.
Trad wedding were i come from is important. If a woman did not do her trad, her daughter cant, or else they go back n do that of d woman first. So why not do it and get it over with.
Court wedding for government and paperwork is also important as long as u live within a state.
[s]White wedding, God institutionalized marriage.[/s] Therefore as a christain, a pastor has to bless n pray over my marriage.
But in everything consider your pockets, the wedding is just one day but the marriage is for the rest of your lives
Like my pastor would say ' dont borrow money to feed people that are not hungry on ur wedding day'

pathetic slave and brainwashed lunatic. ARE YOU WHITE
white wedding is the traditional wedding of the whites the same way Africans have their own traditional wedding.

all this Jehovah's witness people sef because they don't celebrate anything they don't like seing anything celebration... na wa for them sef

me as far am concern and God is with me...my white wedding is for sure....

Lezzlie:
Traditional marriage is the way to go for me. Marriage in the bible is often done in cultural settings of the day, hence it is traditional in nature.

I beleive church weddings came to bear in Africa due to colonialism, especially for youths who rejected their traditional beliefs and become outcasts. With time, we have grown so attached to all three forms of marriage rites.

For me, a pastor has no moral or spiritual authority pronouncing or joining man or woman as husband and wife. That should be left to the parents.

No wedding or marriage ever took place in the synagogue , neither was any conducted by any prophet or disciple.


But women, forever emotionally unstable will guarantee that this wasteful culture continues.

THANK YOU DEAR..... you have made my day.

bibby339:
me as far am concern and God is with me...my white wedding is for sure....

BUT YOU DON'T look anything like white. you're BLACK.

Toks2008:


You are just making noise..go do legal wedding then waka comot go marry another man witout divorce..nah 6yrs dem go dash u and the unfortunate man..

So stop making noise abeg.

So cos i dont agree with your opinion i'm making noise...lol
You were d same person that opened a thread saying that pple who resort to insult cos other pple have a different opinion from theirs r immature. Hope you know you are not exempted.

uzolexis:

So cos i dont agree with your opinion i'm making noise...lol
You were d same person that opened a thread saying that pple who resort to insult cos other pple have a different opinion from theirs r immature. Hope you know you are not exempted.

Better put your emotions in check cos i dont see how that phrase translate to being vulgar.

Ladies getting overly emotional from time memorial.

I repeat that for you to say legal wedding without bride price is no wedding is pure noise making.

Quote me anywhere.

bibby339:
me as far am concern and God is with me...my white wedding is for sure....

Look at the name...White wedding...how does that sound to you?

I recommend you do purple,green,yellow and indigo wedding...

Fabrepass:


pathetic slave and brainwashed lunatic. ARE YOU WHITE
white wedding is the traditional wedding of the whites the same way Africans have their own traditional wedding.

uzolexis:

So cos i dont agree with your opinion i'm making noise...lol
You were d same person that opened a thread saying that pple who resort to insult cos other pple have a different opinion from theirs r immature. Hope you know you are not exempted.

Fabrepass:


pathetic slave and brainwashed lunatic. ARE YOU WHITE
white wedding is the traditional wedding of the whites the same way Africans have their own traditional wedding.

Can you see the wide gap between my phrase and pure vulgarity?

This is why i hardly discuss with ladies because they get too emotional and personal.

Toks2008:


Oga go and read again...

Bride price in the bible is different from Abraham servant gave rebekah and her family.

bride price is a specified sum paid as a penalty for rape while what Abraham gave was a voluntary gift and no where was it mentioned in the bible that it is a compulsory practise.

Before i write anything on African largest online social platform im always careful to do thourough home work.

Hope you understand..NO WHERE in the bible was bride price mentioned as a prerequisite for marriage but as a penalty for defiling a virgin.And yes you can pay bride price and still not be given the woman to marry.

EXODUS 22 17

If her father utterly refuses to give her
to him, he will still pay money equal to
the bride-price for violating virgins.

@toks2008. From the passage you quoted, you have proven that bride price regardless of the terminology used in the Bible is actually biblical. Read Exodus 22: 16-17 jointly.

Exodus 22:16 "And if a man entice a maid that is not betrothed, and lie with her, he shall surely endow her to be his wife.
EXODUS 22 17 if her father utterly refuses to give her
to him, he will still pay money equal to
the bride-price for violating virgins."

Now let's check the meaning of the word "endow" according to the English dictionary, it means as follows;

To furnish with money or its equivalent, as a permanent fund for support; to make pecuniary provision for; to settle an income upon; especially, [b]to furnish with dower; as, to endow a wife; [/b]to endow a public institution.
To enrich or furnish with anything of the nature of a gift (as a quality or faculty); -- followed by with, rarely by of; as, man is endowed by his Maker with reason; to endow with privileges or benefits.
To bestow freely.
To be furnished with something naturally.
synonyms
♦ begift

Check the part in bold, I believe that has laid to rest the issue whether bride price, endow, or dowry, regardless of which ever terminology is used is biblical or not.

Regarding the fact as to whether or not it's a penalty, virginity was considered sacred in the old testament and same with African culture before the bastardization of our culture by the white. So therfore if at marriage it was discovered a bride was not a Virgin it's was a disgrace to the her family, cos they had special robe they wore back then. (the can consider the story in 2sam or so, wherein King David Son slept with his half sister), for the sake of clarity. So therefore as a means of punishment, pursuant to Exodus 22 :17, the offender will endow(pay her pride price, but to punish him, the father of the victim might refuse to give her to him. Hence the term "if". It therefore connotes some parents did give their daughters out to the offender after she was endowed.
Now let's consider Africa culture way back, if your son had canal knowledge of a maiden then and it was discovered whether thru pregnancy or not, the family of the girl always insisted on some form of compensation either via marriage or otherwise.
Hope this has also raid to rest whether or not bride price was an act of punishment.
I rise.
Thanks

klassic:



@toks2008. From the passage you quoted, you have proven that bride price regardless of the terminology used in the Bible is actually biblical. Read Exodus 22: 16-17 jointly.

Exodus 22:16 "And if a man entice a maid that is not betrothed, and lie with her, he shall surely endow her to be his wife.
EXODUS 22 17 if her father utterly refuses to give her
to him, he will still pay money equal to
the bride-price for violating virgins."

Now let's check the meaning of the word "endow" according to the English dictionary, it means as follows;

To furnish with money or its equivalent, as a permanent fund for support; to make pecuniary provision for; to settle an income upon; especially, [b]to furnish with dower; as, to endow a wife; [/b]to endow a public institution.
To enrich or furnish with anything of the nature of a gift (as a quality or faculty); -- followed by with, rarely by of; as, man is endowed by his Maker with reason; to endow with privileges or benefits.
To bestow freely.
To be furnished with something naturally.
synonyms
♦ begift

Check the part in bold, I believe that has laid to rest the issue whether bride price, endow, or dowry, regardless of which ever terminology is used is biblical or not.

Regarding the fact as to whether or not it's a penalty, virginity was considered sacred in the old testament and same with African culture before the bastardization of our culture by the white. So therfore if at marriage it was discovered a bride was not a Virgin it's was a disgrace to the her family, cos they had special robe they wore back then. (the can consider the story in 2sam or so, wherein King David Son slept with his half sister), for the sake of clarity. So therefore as a means of punishment, pursuant to Exodus 22 :17, the offender will endow(pay her pride price, but to punish him, the father of the victim might refuse to give her to him. Hence the term "if". It therefore connotes some parents did give their daughters out to the offender after she was endowed.
Now let's consider Africa culture way back, if your son had canal knowledge of a maiden then and it was discovered whether thru pregnancy or not, the family of the girl always insisted on some form of compensation either via marriage or otherwise.
Hope this has also raid to rest whether or not bride price was an act of punishment.
I rise.
Thanks

I agree with you.

I never said bride price is unvivlical but only stated the reason why it is paid and where it was not a case of penalty,it was a voluntary gifting from the groom family.

Nevertheless,if we are to follow biblical bride price,it means ONLY VIRGINS ARE WORTH A BRIDE PRICE..but human tradition today has made it mandatory to pay exurbitant bride price even on a girl who have been laid by different men.

Toks2008:


Can you see the wide gap between my phrase and pure vulgarity?
This is why i hardly discuss with ladies because they get too emotional and personal .

I didnt say you were vulgar my friend. Saying i am making noise cos my opinion differs from yours is insulting. If you didnt know that before,know it now.
At the bolded,now you are being sexist as well...lol

uzolexis:


I didnt say you were vulgar my friend. Saying i am making noise cos my opinion differs from yours is insulting. If you didnt know that before,know it now.
At the bolded,now you are being sexist as well...lol

Emabinu ma.

You look like a lady from delta or owerri....how much does it cost to pay bride price in your home town..just curious.

Toks2008:


I agree with you.

I never said bride price is unvivlical but only stated the reason why it is paid and where it was not a case of penalty,it was a voluntary gifting from the groom family.

Nevertheless,if we are to follow biblical bride price,it means ONLY VIRGINS ARE WORTH A BRIDE PRICE..but human tradition today has made it mandatory to pay exurbitant bride price even on a girl who have been laid by different men.

Yeah I agree only virgins deserve bride price as at then, but in this modern world, virginity has been relegated to the background but that does not mean one shouldn't pay bride price as per traditions.
Well, different traditions. I my culture and that of where I grew up, bride price is less than 50naira. And the items you are to provide as less than 70k and some are far less depending on the family and how close you are to them as their son or in law to be. The only expensive aspect is the entertainment. And it's not compulsory. So a quite man can conveniently marry a wife with 100k or less.
And to me, that is not much.

klassic:


Yeah I agree only virgins deserve bride price as at then, but in this modern world, virginity has been relegated to the background but that does not mean one shouldn't pay bride price as per traditions.
Well, different traditions. I my culture and that of where I grew up, bride price is less than 50naira. And the items you are to provide as less than 70k and some are far less depending on the family and how close you are to them as their son or in law to be. The only expensive aspect is the entertainment. And it's not compulsory. So a quite man can conveniently marry a wife with 100k or less.
And to me, that is not much.

You must be from the south west. Proudly yoruba.

Nope i am a Niger Deltan, a fisherman from the creeks. Proudly an ijawman but grew up in Edo state, Esanland.(The land of fresh farm produce and fruits).

Toks2008:


You must be from the south west. Proudly yoruba.

Felvet:
Read John 2 vs 6, and you will see clearly the type of marriage Jesus attended.

Now there were set there six waterpots of stone, according to
the manner of purification of the Jews, containing twenty or
thirty gallons apiece.
now tell me, how does this state the kind of wedding he is at?

Toks2008:


It is so amazing how people read the Bible out of context.

We have two types of bride price in the bible.

1.The penalty for rape.

Exodus 22:16-17 “If a man seduces a virgin who is not betrothed and lies with her, he shall give the bride price for her and make her his wife. If her father utterly refuses to give her to him, he shall pay money equal to the bride price for virgins."


2. Voluntary Bride price: This was the type Abraham gave to Rebekah and her mum and family and also the type Jacob offered as service and in these two cases,none was made mandatory but was pure voluntary decision of the groom.

Genesis 24:53 Then the servant brought out gold and silver jewelry and articles of clothing and gave them to Rebekah; he also gave costly gifts to her brother and to her mother.

Genesis 29:18 Jacob loved Rachel. And he said, “I will serve you seven years for your younger daughter Rachel

If we look deeply we will see that voluntary giftd by the groom to be is more biblical and not the practice of today where the father of bride makes list of items but nevertheless as people guided by tradition and culture,we must adhere to them but by so doing,we must draw a line between GOD's injunction and man made practices.

1 Samuel 18
22 And Saul commanded his servants, saying, Commune with David secretly, and say, Behold, the king hath delight in thee, and all his servants love thee: now therefore be the king's son in law
23 And Saul's servants spake those words in the ears of David. And David said, Seemeth it to you a light thing to be a king's son in law, seeing that I am a poor man, and lightly esteemed?
24 And the servants of Saul told him, saying, On this manner spake David.
25 And Saul said, Thus shall ye say to David, The king desireth not any dowry but an hundred foreskins of the Philistines, to be avenged of the king's enemies. But Saul thought to make David fall by the hand of the Philistines

There are other verses that talks about dowry, there is nothing like voluntary dowry!! the Old Testament was centered on the Jewish custom. dowry coupled with the consent of the father is what constitutes marriage

The father of the bride can choose to waive the dowry or ask for something else in lieu as evident in the verse above


christains are to be under authority, so why do you think God will bless a man who wakes one morning moves, in with a woman without father's consent or pastors consent or legal consent?(all these are various authorities)


God respects our customs & traditions so long as it doesn't violate his word.

the African culture dictates payment of dowry & consent of the father. That's why during the white wedding:this question is asked "who gives out this bride?"

@Toks2008

The reason Jacobs "dowry" wasn't voluntary was because Laban was satisfied with the terms, if he wasn't he would have stated his own price or terms, if this where to be the case, will you still termit voluntary?

Jacob made a good bargain for what he wanted for a knew a price must be paid, in Abraham's case, he also knew a price must be paid & gave those things to his servant to present

The dowry is symbolic, doesn't really lie in the price. When Ruth was to be given to boaz, all that was done was for sandals to be exchanged & that was all that was needed & required. If Ruth had moved in with boaz all because boaz set in his mind to leave his "father & mother" , that wouldn't have been proper or recognized by God (Ruth 4:7-12)

bidex:

Now there were set there six waterpots of stone, according to
the manner of purification of the Jews, containing twenty or
thirty gallons apiece.
now tell me, how does this state the kind of wedding he is at?

''According to the manner of purification of the Jews''. Does it not sound tradition to you bro? Every thing about the verse says traditional marriage. But then, you still have every right to disagree with me.