₦airaland Forum

You are 18years Old, probably you just tell him you want to focus on your education than relationship now?

And thats my suggestion for you..focus on your school

Women & their bad mind..You don't knw how to tell him that you don't love him because he has not Banged you other wise you should have known how to love him by fire by force...I so much pity such MEN....

When you post d unthinkable and unreasonable u should expect enough unreasonable responses...at least ure not new here...insults flies everywhere

Helloflife:
We started dating last year november.
We haven't gone intimate yet and he doesn't even pressurize me.
Truth is, i don't love him, and i think i made a mistake accepting to date him.
I've found out we have literally nothing in common.

Throughout our relationship, i've never said the word "i love you" to him.
He called last night and asked me if i love him and i couldn't give a direct answer cause i didn't want him to get hurt.

Dear romancelanders, whats the best way i could tell him how i really feel?

Please and please, let me say this, real love has nothing to do with feelings. Real love is a decision to love someone and remain committed to the person, with or without feelings. Feelings develop as a result of meeting with someone that has the physical make-up that has been registered in our sub-conscious mind. Until the picture changes you might not be able to develop the feelings you're looking for. But please note that the longer you stay in the relationship and show each other true love of commitment, the relationship will develop the feelings itself. And let me say this that you will be surprised to know that most people with good marriages today never had feelings for their spouse even at the point of getting married to them. What is most detrimental to our relationships these days, is the temporal feelings we develop which usually has a lifetime between 1-2 years and then there's nothing to hold on to since it's the feelings that led them to the relationship or getting married. I pray you understand this better and know that deciding to love that guy is really the best not your feelings.

[b][/b] He has no flashy car, a better job nor stays in mansion; hw will u love him? its not possible. As if Nigerian gals d Love trully... buffon!

Amberon:
we have a very similar situation. My bf who happens to be my best friend persisted and disturbed me for years, I finally gave in but I don't love him one bit. The thing is that he's crazy about me, before we started dating we'd sleep over at each other's houses a couple of times but he never touched me nor asked for sex. up till this day, he hasn't asked me for sex.

he's cute, dresses very very very well, neat and treats me like an angel. I told him countlessly that I didn't love him and couldn't date him but he came back begging and vowed that he must marry me. He even told everyone that we're engaged....

Anyways I made a promise to stick with him even tho I don't love him, after all the one I used to love didn't treat me well.

PS: before someone starts saying sh!t, I'm not dating him for money. I know I won't fall in love again, so I gave in simply because he loves and cherishes me, he's purpose driven and has good qualities which so many men lack. he also advises me like a sister.

My sister you've made the right choice. Real love has nothing to do with feelings. Real love is a decision to love someone and remain committed to the person, with or without feelings. Feelings develop as a result of meeting with someone that has the physical make-up that has been registered in our sub-conscious mind(which we might not really know ourselves). Until the picture changes you might not be able to develop the feelings you're looking for. But please note that the longer you stay in the relationship and show each other true love of commitment, the relationship will develop the feelings itself. And let me say this that you will be surprised to know that most people with good marriages today never had feelings for their spouse even at the point of getting married to them. What is most detrimental to our relationships these days, is the temporal feelings we develop which usually has a lifetime between 1-2 years and then there's nothing to hold on to since it's the feelings that led them to the relationship or getting married. I pray you understand this better and know that deciding to love that guy is really the best not your feelings.

Kay17:
Narratives can be entrapping especially with what we call love. The man following the narrative, chases the girl and uses his "swag" and masculine charm, gifts and persistence to seduce the girl. The girl in response, falls in love. This narrative is found in all medium of culture -- movies, romance magazines and even moonlight tales

But this narrative is not always in touch with reality. The guy's pains will be from a sense of inadequacy. The girl also feels guilty for vying off her role in the narrative.

I feel sympathy for both.

...his pains would be from a false sense of inadequacy...due to the vagaries of the imaginations of a lady whose hedonistic needs are always in a state of flux! That man may be adequate, may have all it takes at least at the minimum but the odd desires of a lady could infer albeit falsely the inadequacy of a rather adequate man!

Amberon:
You haven't asked too n questions. Here is what you need to know

I like him as. friend and care a lot about him.
I don't have feelings for him.
I've never imagined us being intimate nor am I sexually attracted to him.

I just loved my ex for apparently no reason. It wasn't like he was superhuman or anything, I just had these strong feelings of attraction and selflessness towards him. It wasn't about money or anything of that sort. Definitely not his physical appearance.

Love isn't something I can explain.

Thanks for shedding more light. What I can deduce is that a woman has little or no control over who she falls in love with. If you're happy with the current situation then stay but if you're not then leave. Cos If you're frustrated you would sooner or later make him frustrated too. A broken relationship is always better than a broken marriage.

Wowzer:
Don't know why some guys can't take no for an answer. Reminds me of a lady late last year who told me No.... few weeks after we started seeing each other.

She told me we should just be friends and nothing more. I accepted the offer and stopped chatting her. Despite that she calls regularly, until I told her there was no need for the call anymore and she needs to assume we never met. That I was moving on.

She was shocked and I stood my ground. Early this month, I told her that was our last conversation and was going to delete her after hanging up. This is 2016. Last year is by gone and history. Told her if you ring me and you not getting through ...know that I have deleted you as promised.

I deleted the time waster off. Don't need me...I Don't need you either. No time for bull****t.

I love this nigga!

no homo!

Helloflife:
Please, i want you all to know i didn't date him for money or any other material gain but because i needed a soulmate at that point in time.


Lalasticlala please i need more valuable advice.

So u just used d guy bah?

See, just delete ursef out of his life

U knw wot, helloflife, send me his number and ur details, I will help u tell him

U ar a weed in d guys life..u shld be uprooted sharperly...wot da real he'll u ar?!

pls tell ur true feeling n also try to return d gifts n cash u collected most especially d Xmas....

firstking01:
@ op, no mind all these bashers...my take is...dnt sign off yet...give it time...love grows...try to look @those lil aspect of his life u admire....truth is, smtin must have attracted you to him in the first place, look more into that tin...a relationship that started like this always end great...allow the love to grow...instant love or love @ firstsight neva works, it fades away with time...i'd categorically tell you that if you go into a relationship because you love the person, i bet the love will diminish with time...relationship is much more than just love.

Wetin u dey say guy? No tell me u dey dis kind poo!

Chic say she neva tell d guy 'I lov u' or 'I ruff u'...for 3months

D babe just dey use d guy kill time...I feel so sorry for d guy o

Omo olomo! Choi

engrhorla:
Wetin u dey say guy? No tell me u dey dis kind poo!
Chic say she neva tell d guy 'I lov u' or 'I ruff u'...for 3months
D babe just dey use d guy kill time...I feel so sorry for d guy o
Omo olomo! Choi

love is a mystery my brother..

Amberon:
we have a very similar situation. My bf who happens to be my best friend persisted and disturbed me for years, I finally gave in but I don't love him one bit. The thing is that he's crazy about me, before we started dating we'd sleep over at each other's houses a couple of times but he never touched me nor asked for sex. up till this day, he hasn't asked me for sex.

he's cute, dresses very very very well, neat and treats me like an angel. I told him countlessly that I didn't love him and couldn't date him but he came back begging and vowed that he must marry me. He even told everyone that we're engaged....

Anyways I made a promise to stick with him even tho I don't love him, after all the one I used to love didn't treat me well.

PS: before someone starts saying sh!t, I'm not dating him for money. I know I won't fall in love again, so I gave in simply because he loves and cherishes me, he's purpose driven and has good qualities which so many men lack. he also advises me like a sister.

D guy is mad oooo..even after treating like an angel which definitely involves buying tinz for u, u still get mind to sit him down and tell him 'o boy, no kill ursef coz I no love u'

U knw wot, u guys ar foolin u..i guess d guy just has a big heart

1 day, he will meet a lady either colleague, acquaintance, friend etc d@ will love him back...then na OLX we go see u next!

U a r in no love relationship wit a guy and u dey talk...mk d@ guy get issue 2moro, u go flee na..afterall, u told him countless times...SMH

firstking01:
love is a mystery my brother..

Love truly grows where there is a seed of love

These lady has tried for 3 months, she has faked it but it ain't working..

No point continuing...

Love is a mystery but love has characteristics!

what exactly is your problem? if you can't contribute like an intellectual fellow, then exit my mentions.

engrhorla:
D guy is mad oooo..even after treating like an angel which definitely involves buying tinz for u, u still get mind to sit him down and tell him 'o boy, no kill ursef coz I no love u'

U knw wot, u guys ar foolin u..i guess d guy just has a big heart

1 day, he will meet a lady either colleague, acquaintance, friend etc d@ will love him back...then na OLX we go see u next!

U a r in no love relationship wit a guy and u dey talk...mk d@ guy get issue 2moro, u go flee na..afterall, u told him countless times...SMH

engrhorla:
Love truly grows where there is a seed of love

These lady has tried for 3 months, she has faked it but it ain't working..

No point continuing...

Love is a mystery but love has characteristics!

and also, there are no traiLs to a woman's heart...women can start loving their worst enemies overnight

@ the bolded - exactly, but I think it's the same for both males and females tho.

yeah, I'm sticking with him tho. He recently told me of his dream where we got married and had a baby girl, lol.

P0intBlank:
Thanks for shedding more light. What I can deduce is that a woman has little or no control over who she falls in love with. If you're happy with the current situation then stay but if you're not then leave. Cos If you're frustrated you would sooner or later make him frustrated too. A broken relationship is always better than a broken marriage.

Amberon:
what exactly is your problem? if you can't contribute like an intellectual fellow, then exit my mentions.

Oh sorry!

It's like this..

The guy, your bf, is staying with you till the time he gets a lady that will say 'I love you' to him with all her heart - not a lady like you that keeps yelling 'Don't forget, I don't love you'!

I assume he has the money to spend on you without batting an eyelid..else he would have walked away..he is a unique guy though

Plenty guys here won't do that

Do you know what you are talking about?
It's like during wedding vows, the husband says I do, the wife says I don't but the husband says it doesn't matter

It's a matter of time...that is my prophecy for you

Next post will be in pidgin, if you still don't understand!

firstking01:
and also, there are no traiLs to a woman's heart...women can start loving their worst enemies overnight

Hmmmmm...quite true!

But then, remember this lady can't even fake it..

For her to ordinarily reply the guy's loving remark with a simple 'me too', she finds difficult.

She actually tried..some other lady will goad the guy for almost a year, saying all sorts with her mouth but her heart far away!

thank you very much for your enlightening comment. I must say, I just realized something now that I didn't know before. You're very correct. I'll put in my best and ensure it works out. After all He's worth it.

godman01:
My sister you've made the right choice. Real love has nothing to do with feelings. Real love is a decision to love someone and remain committed to the person, with or without feelings. Feelings develop as a result of meeting with someone that has the physical make-up that has been registered in our sub-conscious mind(which we might not really know ourselves). Until the picture changes you might not be able to develop the feelings you're looking for. But please note that the longer you stay in the relationship and show each other true love of commitment, the relationship will develop the feelings itself. And let me say this that you will be surprised to know that most people with good marriages today never had feelings for their spouse even at the point of getting married to them. What is most detrimental to our relationships these days, is the temporal feelings we develop which usually has a lifetime between 1-2 years and then there's nothing to hold on to since it's the feelings that led them to the relationship or getting married. I pray you understand this better and know that deciding to love that guy is really the best not your feelings.

per the bolded, read and comprehend. I'm not broke. We both have been living abroad seperately and he doesnt foot my bills. Not every girl is broke or dependent on a man. Let that sink into you.

my prophecy for you is that you'll continue wallowing in delusion and mediocrity.

When next you come into my mentions, bring your senses along.

engrhorla:
Oh sorry!

It's like this..

The guy, your bf, is staying with you till the time he gets a lady that will say 'I love you' to him with all her heart - not a lady like you that keeps yelling 'Don't forget, I don't love you'!

I assume he has the money to spend on you without batting an eyelid..else he would have walked away..he is a unique guy though

Plenty guys here won't do that

Do you know what you are talking about?
It's like during wedding vows, the husband says I do, the wife says I don't but the husband says it doesn't matter

It's a matter of time...that is my prophecy for you

Next post will be in pidgin, if you still don't understand!

Amberon:
per the bolded, read and comprehend. I'm not broke. We both have been living abroad seperately and he doesnt foot my bills. Not every girl is broke or dependent on a man. Let that sink into you.

my prophecy for you is that you'll continue wallowing in delusion and mediocrity.

When next you come into my mentions, bring your senses along.

No worry..just they thr till ya papa put ya ad for www.olx.com

Next u go hear go be 'buy her'...

I no even knw say plenty pple don tok sense to ya brain b4...no leave d guy o

He go soon see better pikin wey go dey use doremifaso la to sing 'I love u' day and nite....

Helloflife:
Please, i want you all to know i didn't date him for money or any other material gain but because i needed a soulmate at that point in time.


Lalasticlala please i need more valuable advice.

Yea right. You didn't date him for money? I guess you dated him for love. You think we were all born yesterday?

poseidon12:
Yea right. You didn't date him for money? I guess you dated him for love. You think we were all born yesterday?

mehn this dude nailed it simply and perfectly...anybody with a functional brain should get the message instantly!

missyadorable:
Tell him straight!

And who told you he is going to be hurt?

You must be a child,you don't know men!

A man getting hurt because a lady said she doesn't love him? Hahahaha! Are you the only lady on earth? The earlier you stop considering men's feelings and emotions(cause they have none),the better for you!

Like seriously?

Slikbae:
Thanks for your comment.

This thing is that mind is only on one person, and its my ex who broke my heart. I can't wait for him forever, moreover he doesn't deserve me.

look for another hot guy and fall in love with,tall,dark and handsome guys are everywhere...don't stay with someone you don't truly love.

honeygirl17:
I was in same situation years back. I'll advice u to break up with now before its too late. He is genuinely in love with you.

Someone she genuinely loves will breakup with her in the future so that she will also feel the pains that guy will went through,that's how nature balances such equations.I hardly pity a heartbroken lady cos most of them are reaping what they sowed in the past...aka KARMA.

pamellla:
u don't date someone out of pity...ur NO should be ur NO! I won't be surprised if in the next few years u com here on NL nd start ranting bout the downfall of ur marriage (I forbid it tho) cox ts crystal clear u don't love d dude, u are only trying to put up with him coz of his persistence...marriage is a challenging institution, you have to think twice bfo venturing into it.

teacher tell us yur status b4 advising someone are u into it already. I mean are u married already. If nt love can grow everybdy may nt end like yurs as a matter of choice she has done well having seeing that no one has crossed theline mark the man she dint love left on her

Op February 14th is almost here so MAGARIZE him for the last time before throwing in the towel.
UMU NNUNNU everywhere...