₦airaland Forum

Dear Nigerian boyfriends

We hope that you and your ATM card are getting ready for Sunday?
In no particular order, below are a list of items we WOULD NO LONGER accept as Valentine day gifts.

BBM BC’s
Whatsapp BC’s
BBM PM Shoutouts
Instagram Woman Crush Sunday.
Romantic sms except it is accompanied with a credit alert.
Card: Soft and hard copies. This is not applicable to recharge cards. Please note the s.
Leaves/Flowers: Fresh, rubber, dried, scented, unscented, cooked and uncooked.
Perfumes from an unnamed designer: That type that stains cloth and produces rashes.
Cheap jewelries made out of copper, steel, zinc and iron.
Cheap chocolates.
Rice & Chicken in Mr Biggs nylon.

However, while we are still saving for your Bentley, we expect that you’d receive your regular valentine pack of a handkerchief, a singlet and a boxer with sincere appreciation as these three items connotes a deep meaning that has more value than silver and gold.
A white handkerchief signifies gratitude. We are indirectly apologising for all the times we made you sweat and thanking you for sticking with us.
All the wonderful things you could use your handkerchief for
You boys never have more than three singlets. This is why we keep adding another one year after year.
We wouldn’t be giving you briefs/boxers if we haven’t envisage a future with you. We care about your body & the packaging of reproductive organs.
Extras of ties and cufflinks, who doesn’t like a perfect gentleman?

In addition to the above, you are expected to observe the following rules from now till 15th February.
– You are not allowed to take any one week impromptu trip to the village to visit your uncle’s brother husband. No fake business trips! No disappearing acts!
– You are advised not to fake any form of terminal disease or sickness. Be warned.
– No bad phone, bad network, bad battery, phone speaker is bad , power button is not working excuses.
– No ‘ATM is not working or card has been blocked’ excuses. You have from now till Friday to register your BVN.
– You are advised to increase your tolerance level for all our excesses. No ‘we should go on a break’ ‘It’s not you, it’s me’ or ‘I have been thinking about this relationship’ speech will be accepted.
– Third service, fourth service, prayer meeting, youth meeting and fasting MUST NOT be used as an excuse come Sunday the 14th.

Please pass to respective parties. We thank you in advance for understanding.

Signed:
By @Naijasinglegirl,
On behalf of girlfriends in Nigeria.

http://www.naijasinglegirl.com/open-letter-nigerian-boyfriends

And what will thy get in return?

HIV/AIDS is real,play safe and be faithful to your partner,I feel love should be celebrated everyday not just a day. Febuary 14,men are looking forward to good sex from bae,ladies are looking forward to good gifts from guy...don't be deceived,be wise!

Okay, we've heard you.

What happens after Valentine is even more important to us.

November is believed to record the highest number of births in recent times so we do not mind making such sacrifices you have requested for as long as we get the Coochie then we'll be fine.

Hopefully, in nine months you will give us a bunch of babies. If you are not ready for that, then we still have a free pass to the Coochie.

I bet this is a worthy arrangement and we are absolutely ready to bare the cost/investment towards infinitesimal joy in the bedroom and hopefully, this applies to other aspects of our lives.

It will be a win win situation and everyone is happy.

Signed.
By Brandnew2
@GidiLink
On behalf of frustrated Nigerian men.

Wetin happen? Na because of you him dey work?

And also naija gals pls take care of ur pvssy very well on dat day, cos guys will go down that alley,we don't want no funny smell please!

YINMU

What's all this nonsense about valentine?? Why should it be about boyfriends and girlfriends?


Nigerians too like to dey overdo things

Naijasinglegirl:
Dear Nigerian boyfriends

We hope that you and your ATM card are getting ready for Sunday?
In no particular order, below are a list of items we WOULD NO LONGER accept as Valentine day gifts.

BBM BC’s
Whatsapp BC’s
BBM PM Shoutouts
Instagram Woman Crush Sunday.
Romantic sms except it is accompanied with a credit alert.
Card: Soft and hard copies. This is not applicable to recharge cards. Please note the s.
Leaves/Flowers: Fresh, rubber, dried, scented, unscented, cooked and uncooked.
Perfumes from an unnamed designer: That type that stains cloth and produces rashes.
Cheap jewelries made out of copper, steel, zinc and iron.
Cheap chocolates.
Rice & Chicken in Mr Biggs nylon.

However, while we are still saving for your Bentley, we expect that you’d receive your regular valentine pack of a handkerchief, a singlet and a boxer with sincere appreciation as these three items connotes a deep meaning that has more value than silver and gold.
A white handkerchief signifies gratitude. We are indirectly apologising for all the times we made you sweat and thanking you for sticking with us.
All the wonderful things you could use your handkerchief for
You boys never have more than three singlets. This is why we keep adding another one year after year.
We wouldn’t be giving you briefs/boxers if we haven’t envisage a future with you. We care about your body & the packaging of reproductive organs.
Extras of ties and cufflinks, who doesn’t like a perfect gentleman?

In addition to the above, you are expected to observe the following rules from now till 15th February.
– You are not allowed to take any one week impromptu trip to the village to visit your uncle’s brother husband. No fake business trips! No disappearing acts!
– You are advised not to fake any form of terminal disease or sickness. Be warned.
– No bad phone, bad network, bad battery, phone speaker is bad , power button is not working excuses.
– No ‘ATM is not working or card has been blocked’ excuses. You have from now till Friday to register your BVN.
– You are advised to increase your tolerance level for all our excesses. No ‘we should go on a break’ ‘It’s not you, it’s me’ or ‘I have been thinking about this relationship’ speech will be accepted.
– Third service, fourth service, prayer meeting, youth meeting and fasting MUST NOT be used as an excuse come Sunday the 14th.

Please pass to respective parties. We thank you in advance for understanding.

Signed:
By @Naijasinglegirl,
On behalf of girlfriends in Nigeria.

http://www.naijasinglegirl.com/open-letter-nigerian-boyfriends

Crap! Crap! Crap! Megacrap!!

chigoizie7:
And what will thy get in return?

na toto na. Whatelse?

Hahaha naijasinglegirl no go kee me with laughter... You all needs to see her blog

stupidity:
na toto na. Whatelse?

Well. I could get a handful, a groupie with her 14yr old kid sis won't be a bad idea.

Naijasinglegirl you don come again, I'm personally thinking of a short lived terminal illness.

Brandnew2:
Okay, we've heard you.

What happens after Valentine is even more important to us.

November is believed to record the highest number of births in recent times so we do not mind making such sacrifices you have requested for as long as we get the Coochie then we'll be fine.

Hopefully, in nine months you will give us a bunch of babies. If you are not ready for that, then we still have a free pass to the Coochie.

I bet this is a worthy arrangement and we are absolutely ready to bare the cost/investment towards infinitesimal joy in the bedroom and hopefully, this applies to other aspects of our lives.

It will be a win win situation and everyone is happy.

Signed.
By Brandnew2
@GidiLink
On behalf of frustrated Nigerian men.

Hahahahaha @ frustrated Nigerian men.


Abeg, who dey frustrate una?

Smh

This Sunday won't be easy though

Naijasinglegirl:
Dear Nigerian boyfriends

We hope that you and your ATM card are getting ready for Sunday?
In no particular order, below are a list of items we WOULD NO LONGER accept as Valentine day gifts.

BBM BC’s
Whatsapp BC’s
BBM PM Shoutouts
Instagram Woman Crush Sunday.
Romantic sms except it is accompanied with a credit alert.
Card: Soft and hard copies. This is not applicable to recharge cards. Please note the s.
Leaves/Flowers: Fresh, rubber, dried, scented, unscented, cooked and uncooked.
Perfumes from an unnamed designer: That type that stains cloth and produces rashes.
Cheap jewelries made out of copper, steel, zinc and iron.
Cheap chocolates.
Rice & Chicken in Mr Biggs nylon.

However, while we are still saving for your Bentley, we expect that you’d receive your regular valentine pack of a handkerchief, a singlet and a boxer with sincere appreciation as these three items connotes a deep meaning that has more value than silver and gold.
A white handkerchief signifies gratitude. We are indirectly apologising for all the times we made you sweat and thanking you for sticking with us.
All the wonderful things you could use your handkerchief for
You boys never have more than three singlets. This is why we keep adding another one year after year.
We wouldn’t be giving you briefs/boxers if we haven’t envisage a future with you. We care about your body & the packaging of reproductive organs.
Extras of ties and cufflinks, who doesn’t like a perfect gentleman?

In addition to the above, you are expected to observe the following rules from now till 15th February.
– You are not allowed to take any one week impromptu trip to the village to visit your uncle’s brother husband. No fake business trips! No disappearing acts!
– You are advised not to fake any form of terminal disease or sickness. Be warned.
– No bad phone, bad network, bad battery, phone speaker is bad , power button is not working excuses.
– No ‘ATM is not working or card has been blocked’ excuses. You have from now till Friday to register your BVN.
– You are advised to increase your tolerance level for all our excesses. No ‘we should go on a break’ ‘It’s not you, it’s me’ or ‘I have been thinking about this relationship’ speech will be accepted.
– Third service, fourth service, prayer meeting, youth meeting and fasting MUST NOT be used as an excuse come Sunday the 14th.

Please pass to respective parties. We thank you in advance for understanding.

Signed:
By @Naijasinglegirl,
On behalf of girlfriends in Nigeria.

http://www.naijasinglegirl.com/open-letter-nigerian-boyfriends

shoro niyen

missbronze:
Hahahahaha @ frustrated Nigerian men.

Abeg, who dey frustrate una?

Na rhetoric question be this?

so girls with no bf should just rob bank 4 val

Is Valentine for lovers alone ?

Does love exist between lovers alone?
should love be shown to lovers alone?
should love be celebrated by lovers alone?



Hmmmmmmm

Op, you mumu no be smaLL

Op, you mumu no be smaLL

It's not by force.

Naijasinglegirl:
Dear Nigerian boyfriends

We hope that you and your ATM card are getting ready for Sunday?
In no particular order, below are a list of items we WOULD NO LONGER accept as Valentine day gifts.

BBM BC’s
Whatsapp BC’s
BBM PM Shoutouts
Instagram Woman Crush Sunday.
Romantic sms except it is accompanied with a credit alert.
Card: Soft and hard copies. This is not applicable to recharge cards. Please note the s.
Leaves/Flowers: Fresh, rubber, dried, scented, unscented, cooked and uncooked.
Perfumes from an unnamed designer: That type that stains cloth and produces rashes.
Cheap jewelries made out of copper, steel, zinc and iron.
Cheap chocolates.
Rice & Chicken in Mr Biggs nylon.

However, while we are still saving for your Bentley, we expect that you’d receive your regular valentine pack of a handkerchief, a singlet and a boxer with sincere appreciation as these three items connotes a deep meaning that has more value than silver and gold.
A white handkerchief signifies gratitude. We are indirectly apologising for all the times we made you sweat and thanking you for sticking with us.
All the wonderful things you could use your handkerchief for
You boys never have more than three singlets. This is why we keep adding another one year after year.
We wouldn’t be giving you briefs/boxers if we haven’t envisage a future with you. We care about your body & the packaging of reproductive organs.
Extras of ties and cufflinks, who doesn’t like a perfect gentleman?

In addition to the above, you are expected to observe the following rules from now till 15th February.
– You are not allowed to take any one week impromptu trip to the village to visit your uncle’s brother husband. No fake business trips! No disappearing acts!
– You are advised not to fake any form of terminal disease or sickness. Be warned.
– No bad phone, bad network, bad battery, phone speaker is bad , power button is not working excuses.
– No ‘ATM is not working or card has been blocked’ excuses. You have from now till Friday to register your BVN.
– You are advised to increase your tolerance level for all our excesses. No ‘we should go on a break’ ‘It’s not you, it’s me’ or ‘I have been thinking about this relationship’ speech will be accepted.
– Third service, fourth service, prayer meeting, youth meeting and fasting MUST NOT be used as an excuse come Sunday the 14th.

Please pass to respective parties. We thank you in advance for understanding.

Signed:
By @Naijasinglegirl,
On behalf of girlfriends in Nigeria.

http://www.naijasinglegirl.com/open-letter-nigerian-boyfriends

In Akpos' voice: E no rhyme joor. Try part 2












So stale; You can do better

Sometimes,i dey wonder why some mumu guys go spend half of their salaries on one girl's kitten?If their siblings beg them for #200 them go tight face like person wey drink bitterleaf water.Bro,If you no fvck her you no go die.It's not worth that huge spending na.

Brandnew2:
Okay, we've heard you.

What happens after Valentine is even more important to us.

November is believed to record the highest number of births in recent times so we do not mind making such sacrifices you have requested for as long as we get the Coochie then we'll be fine.

Hopefully, in nine months you will give us a bunch of babies. If you are not ready for that, then we still have a free pass to the Coochie.

I bet this is a worthy arrangement and we are absolutely ready to bare the cost/investment towards infinitesimal joy in the bedroom and hopefully, this applies to other aspects of our lives.

It will be a win win situation and everyone is happy.

Signed.
By Brandnew2
@GidiLink
On behalf of frustrated Nigerian men.

very funny

so are you talking about baby mama things or marriage?

pucelle:
very funny
so are you talking about baby mama things or marriage?

One comes with a certificate and the other comes with money. Choose one!

Brandnew2:
One comes with a certificate and the other comes with money.
Choose one!

the one that comes with a certificate is permanent and surely gets more money...I choose that

February is the only month I get happy that I don't have bae.