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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / Why Condoms Are 'bad' For You On Valentine's Day. (2068 Views)
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Why Condoms Are 'bad' For You On Valentine's Day. by INTROVERT(f): 7:46am On Feb 08, 2016 |
[b]The St. Valentine’s Day will be celebrated globally on Sunday, February 14. The event began as a liturgical celebration of one or more early Christian saints named Valentinus. It is an official feast day in the Anglican Communion, as well as in the Lutheran Church. The event, also known as the Feast of St Valentine, is a celebration of love observed in many countries around the world. Initially, it was associated with romantic love in the circle of Geoffrey Chaucer when the tradition of courtly love flourished in the middle ages. In the 18th century England, St. Valentine’s Day evolved into an occasion in which lovers expressed their love for each other by presenting flowers, offering confectionery and sending greeting cards (known as ‘Valentines’). Anyway, that’s all good and well. Let us talk about romance, love, sex and why wearing a condom can be extremely bad for you on that day. I was at the doctor’s clinic the other day with my farting problem. I said to him, “I fart all the time! But the good part is that ‘they’ are silent and they don’t smell. So, nobody knows. Ever since I stepped into your clinic, I have farted about 20 times and nobody noticed.” He gave me some medicine and told me to come after a week. A week later, I went fuming to his office and said, “What kind of medicine was that? Now my farts stink like hell! The good thing is that they are still silent. So, nobody knows I did it.” Now, the doctor calmly replied, “Okay, so your nose infection is cleared. Next, I will give you medicine for your ears.” Prevention of infection For those who have ears, please listen carefully. Condoms prevent sexually transmitted infections. You have to wear it before sexual intercourse and be strict about not allowing bodily fluid from your partner anywhere near your sex organ. It prevents infections like gonorrhoea, herpes, herpatitis B and C, syphilis and, of course, HIV. The thing about not using protection is that you risk catching an infection. You risk passing an infection to your partner. Don’t forget that our bodies are vastly different and a germ that may be local and friendly to you (not giving you any symptoms or problems) may be dangerous to your partner. So, using a condom protects you and your partner. If you don’t want to protect yourself, then you are playing the game, ‘Passemon’. The sexually transmitted infection trading game! This game is a new craze that is sweeping bedrooms across nations. Have you got chlamydimander? How about herpesaur? Or even gonococcus? Collect and swap them now with your friends! So, St. Valentine’s Day is a great time to catch as many infections as possible. It will guarantee a visit to the doctors in March with a nasty urinary tract infection, a cold sore, itchy vagina full of smelly discharge, a penis clothed with warts and a possible positive HIV test. The St. Valentine’s Day could be the best, most romantic and funniest ever as long as you do not let it go to your head. Lose your heart, but don’t lose your head. You should be smart and avoid situations that lead to problems when morning comes. Take this case, for example: A chap thought it would be pretty funny putting a pin through all of his best friends’ condoms. It did seem like a good idea at the time. Unfortunately, it seriously backfired when he found out his own wife was pregnant. For the best friend! Prevention of pregnancy Wearing a good condom on St. Valentine’s Day could be an effective way of preventing pregnancy and therefore limiting your chances of having a baby by Christmas. Among the Yoruba, a December baby is rather special and likely to be called, ‘Abiodun’, just like yours truly. Studies have suggested that babies born around November and December are better behaved and more intelligent than those born in the summer months. Scientists at both Harvard and Queensland (Australia) universities took a look at the statistics and found that children born in November and December tended to be longer at birth than those born in the summer. By the age of seven, the winter-born kids were heavier, taller, and had larger head circumference than their peers. This means that if you want to give birth to an astronaut or a rocket scientist, ditch the condom in February and March. Also, ensure your partner stops taking contraceptive pills from now. No point climbing two mountains in one night. NB: The morning after pill is currently the safest way to prevent pregnancy after unprotected sexual intercourse or contraception failure, with low incidence of side effects. It is very unlikely that you will have any serious or long-term side effects after taking it. If you do want to prevent having a December baby, then rush to your local chemist on Monday 15 and get ‘Postinor’.[/b] http://www.punchng.com/why-condoms-are-bad-for-you-on-valentines-day/?utm_source=&utm_medium=twitter Cc lalasticlala farano 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Why Condoms Are 'bad' For You On Valentine's Day. by xender(m): 7:52am On Feb 08, 2016 |
Re: Why Condoms Are 'bad' For You On Valentine's Day. by vizkiz: 7:54am On Feb 08, 2016 |
you expect me to read this long and boring shiit early on Monday morning Furking no!!!! abeg who get durex? 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Why Condoms Are 'bad' For You On Valentine's Day. by Nobody: 8:02am On Feb 08, 2016 |
hehehehe |
Re: Why Condoms Are 'bad' For You On Valentine's Day. by AJ01(m): 8:03am On Feb 08, 2016 |
Re: Why Condoms Are 'bad' For You On Valentine's Day. by CICERO09(m): 8:08am On Feb 08, 2016 |
Some ppl will go to church and come back to bang dere babe on vals day God help |
Re: Why Condoms Are 'bad' For You On Valentine's Day. by ashewoboy(m): 8:10am On Feb 08, 2016 |
Diddyydiva: sheee you go gree mk i use condom gv am to you? Abi na skin to skin you like? Nor lie. |
Re: Why Condoms Are 'bad' For You On Valentine's Day. by Nobody: 8:11am On Feb 08, 2016 |
mehn dis is fun gettin real juicy madness wen u are rejected d madness is always obvious Carry on wen u drained ya whole family includin ya uncles will come pick d "gabage" for a daughter neice cousin nd so on sha |
Re: Why Condoms Are 'bad' For You On Valentine's Day. by Glowstone(m): 8:17am On Feb 08, 2016 |
LORD pls help the government provide work for us all
so we wud be busy on a Monday morning |
Re: Why Condoms Are 'bad' For You On Valentine's Day. by ritababe(f): 8:31am On Feb 08, 2016 |
Thanks introvert for this wonderful post. |
Re: Why Condoms Are 'bad' For You On Valentine's Day. by kalu01(m): 9:12am On Feb 08, 2016 |
so you this girl you want to became a baby mama? OK kwontinu |
Re: Why Condoms Are 'bad' For You On Valentine's Day. by donholy28(m): 9:27am On Feb 08, 2016 |
I don't blame you!...I only blame the person that dashed u phone and MTN for giving u 10mb...foolish girl |
Re: Why Condoms Are 'bad' For You On Valentine's Day. by Nobody: 12:24pm On Feb 08, 2016 |
HOEkay.. |
Re: Why Condoms Are 'bad' For You On Valentine's Day. by Adeyinka1758(m): 2:13pm On Feb 08, 2016 |
seems u ave been usin postinor and it is workin ryte? |
Re: Why Condoms Are 'bad' For You On Valentine's Day. by cruzita(f): 2:48pm On Feb 08, 2016 |
some people will become papa and mama Bomboy by december |
Re: Why Condoms Are 'bad' For You On Valentine's Day. by CaroLyner(f): 3:22pm On Feb 08, 2016 |
St. Valentine’s Day is a great time to catch as many infections as possible. It will guarantee a visit to the doctors in March with a nasty urinary tract infection, a cold sore, itchy vagina full of smelly discharge, a joystick clothed with warts and a possible positive HIV test. The St. Valentine’s Day could be the best, most romantic and funniest ever as long as you do not let it go to your head. Lose your heart, but don’t lose your head. You should be smart and avoid situations that lead to problems when morning comes 1 Like |
Re: Why Condoms Are 'bad' For You On Valentine's Day. by Nobody: 6:20pm On Feb 08, 2016 |
ashewoboy:do I know you? |
Re: Why Condoms Are 'bad' For You On Valentine's Day. by ZeezaRapture(m): 7:18am On Feb 09, 2016 |
So, my boo @ YourMain how will you want it? Skin-to-skin or make I bring two Durex come? |
Re: Why Condoms Are 'bad' For You On Valentine's Day. by Nobody: 7:21am On Feb 09, 2016 |
INTROVERT so you want ladyf to get pregnant for me on valentine's day? |
Re: Why Condoms Are 'bad' For You On Valentine's Day. by ladyF(f): 7:28am On Feb 09, 2016 |
saintloveren:lmao u no serious |
Re: Why Condoms Are 'bad' For You On Valentine's Day. by Nobody: 7:30am On Feb 09, 2016 |
ladyF:hehe yes o, will u listen to her advice? dnt u want me to bring durex? |
Re: Why Condoms Are 'bad' For You On Valentine's Day. by ladyF(f): 7:34am On Feb 09, 2016 |
saintloveren:lol abeg I no do....no be me and you dey take postinor. 1 Like |
Re: Why Condoms Are 'bad' For You On Valentine's Day. by Nobody: 7:38am On Feb 09, 2016 |
ladyF:lol hahahahaha ok anyways its just cuddling and romance then. "so hw was ur night? |
Re: Why Condoms Are 'bad' For You On Valentine's Day. by Nobody: 7:39am On Feb 09, 2016 |
Summary |
Re: Why Condoms Are 'bad' For You On Valentine's Day. by ladyF(f): 7:39am On Feb 09, 2016 |
saintloveren:lol oya na...bring sweet and biscuit when you dey come Splendid night here. You nko? |
Re: Why Condoms Are 'bad' For You On Valentine's Day. by Nobody: 7:41am On Feb 09, 2016 |
ladyF:yeah sweet and biscuit too small 4 u na, i go bring fried cucumber for you, my night was splendid but scary, i even open a thread 4 it. |
Re: Why Condoms Are 'bad' For You On Valentine's Day. by ladyF(f): 7:44am On Feb 09, 2016 |
saintloveren:I be small geh na. let me go check |
Re: Why Condoms Are 'bad' For You On Valentine's Day. by Nobody: 7:50am On Feb 09, 2016 |
ladyF:OK ma!! my nairaland crush |
Re: Why Condoms Are 'bad' For You On Valentine's Day. by Nobody: 2:29pm On Feb 10, 2016 |
ZeezaRapture: Only two eh ? I'm sure you can do better than that |
Re: Why Condoms Are 'bad' For You On Valentine's Day. by ZeezaRapture(m): 9:07pm On Feb 11, 2016 |
YourMain: lol so na how many rounds u go like? |
Re: Why Condoms Are 'bad' For You On Valentine's Day. by Nobody: 10:22pm On Feb 11, 2016 |
ZeezaRapture: |
Re: Why Condoms Are 'bad' For You On Valentine's Day. by JoeCutie(m): 10:44pm On Feb 11, 2016 |
Not just on Valentine's Day, condoms are generally 'bad' for you! |
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