I love intertribal marriages.

I'm a product of one.

And I'm also going intertribal too.

Im rocking it big time...
I love My Hubby so so Much...
One thing I like is I don't understand their Language very well..So I don't get to hear much of what any relative says and assume they say nothing wrong about me
If I nor hear good wey you talk na d bad one i wan hear? My mum used to say 'If Ear nor hear Mouth nor go Talk'.
So I relate with everyone with a clear conscience and I'm at more Peace with everyone than those that understand the Language...
I have peace of mind too.

jashar:



Sis, you married a strong and good man. Because sorry to say, most Yoruba families don't like their sons marrying 'outsiders'.

I wonder why?

It's in every tribe but the degree may vary.You want people you can easily relate with because they speak your language and understand your culture.It's human nature.

I'm enjoying mine.Yoruba married to Efik(Cross River).
My parents are educated,same as hers so tribe was never an issue.Of course it's easier to marry someone who speaks your language but we speak the same language - english,lol.
I don't see any issue between us that has to do with tribe.
First you must be someone who is receptive,adaptable and tolerant.Be willing to learn a different language,at least the basics.Also.be willing to adapt to the culture.Be willing also to make some sacrifices eg for me trips to Cross River during festive seasons.

Joavid:
I don't fancy inter tribal marriage.
especially if the couples cultures are far apart.

the more inter tribal marriages we have, the closer the extinction of some minority languages and cultures.

I don't really think it's because of inter-tribal marriages that languages disappear. I believe it's more of a reluctance to impart the language to the next generation that is causing this. I'm living with an example of someone whose parents are from the same tribe, who grew up in a city where his language was spoken and yet neither he nor his siblings speak their language. It was not pushed and encouraged in their childhood.

Same thing with one of my brother in laws, whose genealogy has 2 prominent families from his tribe in it (I mention their names, everyone from his tribe here will have heard of them). Yet he feels no compunction to actively teach his kids his language, he believes they'll pick it up as they grow up, from the outside world.

I've seen this play out a lot especially in southern Nigeria and that is because there is no alternative to English education. Hausa have Arabic schools for primary, BBC Hausa and are encouraged to speak their language and theur language is strong and flourishing. We don't do that down south. The only tribe that fights for their language are Yorubas (I've seen Yoruba kids who have never stepped foot in Nigeria "dobale" and understand conc Yoruba).

It's hard to remember the language thing, so most parents let it slide, but it has to be a conscious effort to speak the language. And we should start encouraging translations of popular books to local languages.

As for me, I'm speaking the little of my language I know to my child already and I have already stated that once she's of school-age, I'm getting her a lesson teacher from her father's tribe to tutor her in his language (her dad is indifferent). I want to work on a project whereby people translate popular children's books into my language. (My language is being hijacked by a dominant tribe and I want to keep it pure). I've told everyone to stop calling my mum "grandmother", but to address her in my language.

Chinese, Hispanic parents spend the first few years of their children's lives speaking their languages to them, because they know that their main education will be in English. Nigerian parents have to realise this and do the same, or so many languages will be lost very soon.

As for inter-tribal, its failure or success depends on the parties involved. I've seen same tribe marriages fall apart the way I've seen inter-tribal marriage collapse.

Faith111:
Im rocking it big time...
I love My Hubby so so Much...
One thing I like is I don't understand their Language very well..So I don't get to hear much of what any relative says and assume they say nothing wrong about me
If I nor hear good wey you talk na d bad one i wan hear? My mum used to say 'If Ear nor hear Mouth nor go Talk'.
So I relate with everyone with a clear conscience and I'm at more Peace with everyone than those that understand the Language...
I have peace of mind too.

wow nice reasons. Guess u not an amebo else u would be curious to know Wat they said

Onegai:
As for inter-tribal, its failure or success depends on the parties involved. I've seen same tribe marriages fall apart the way I've seen inter-tribal marriage collapse.

the frequency of failure of inter-tribal is alot higher. Guess the differences just overwhelms

thorpido:
I'm enjoying mine.Yoruba married to Efik(Cross River).
My parents are educated,same as hers so tribe was never an issue.Of course it's easier to marry someone who speaks your language but we speak the same language - english,lol.
I don't see any issue between us that has to do with tribe.
First you must be someone who is receptive,adaptable and tolerant.Be willing to learn a different language,at least the basics.Also.be willing to adapt to the culture.Be willing also to make some sacrifices eg for me trips to Cross River during festive seasons.

how do you feel when you have to spend extended periods at her hometown plus weird inlaw requests from you during events such as burials or weddings. Cool with all that or similar to ur customs?

kaziblake:
I love intertribal marriages.

I'm a product of one.

And I'm also going intertribal too.

really. It's a task for the brave

Eddygourdo:
really. It's a task for the brave

it's isn't a task.

It depends on the individual.

Eddygourdo:
the frequency of failure of inter-tribal is alot higher. Guess the differences just overwhelms

Actually, some of the worst marriages I know are same tribe. In my case, had I married from my tribe, we'd have relatives bringing their generational fight into our marriage. Once, when someone brought up his brother as a prospective suitor for me, my cousin (who was his friend! ) immediately behind his back and told my mum that I should be kept away from the proposal because "their mother is a witch"

Eddygourdo:
how do you feel when you have to spend extended periods at her hometown plus weird inlaw requests from you during events such as burials or weddings. Cool with all that or similar to ur customs?

Well i only spend holidays and that's during festive seasons,just a few days.I never get to spend up to a week.
No strange requests from in-laws except that I have to give money to many people whenever I make trips to see in-laws.They expect handouts unlike my own people but that's okay.It's not like it's everyday.
One of the things you need to find out about the tribe you want to marry into are their expectations.If you are okay with it,then you go ahead.
Even though I can marry from anywhere,the demands of some tribes will make me not to.

Onegai:


Actually, some of the worst marriages I know are same tribe. In my case, had I married from my tribe, we'd have relatives bringing their generational fight into our marriage. Once, when someone brought up his brother as a prospective suitor for me, my cousin (who was his friend! ) immediately behind his back and told my mum that I should be kept away from the proposal because "their mother is a witch"

hahahahahaha to be honest that's true. A valid point. Guess u aren't igbo. Cos in my culture families ask around during courtship and one could unfortunately run into a mofo with a witch story hoping to destroy the wedding plans

thorpido:
Well i only spend holidays and that's during festive seasons,just a few days.I never get to spend up to a week.
No strange requests from in-laws except that I have to give money to many people whenever I make trips to see in-laws.They expect handouts unlike my own people but that's okay.It's not like it's everyday.
One of the things you need to find out about the tribe you want to marry into are their expectations.If you are okay with it,then you go ahead.
Even though I can marry from anywhere,the demands of some tribes will make me not to.

guess u very lucky. Wish you the best

Poster the examples you gave seems to be all about bad marriages and not specific to tribal issues.

Miami11:
Poster the examples you gave seems to be all about bad marriages and not specific to tribal issues.

I can see where inter-tribal marriages could cause problems down the road. Too much drama and interference.

1. Both parties do not really have the commitment needed to over-come the huddles/challenges presented.

2. Both parties are easily influenced by their respective families and listen to irrelevant "opinions" as to how to manage the relationship with eachother.

3. Serious language barrier....when one does not understand or speak the language of the other and often feels like a fish out of water around extended family members.


Would I get into an inter-tribal marriage? No.

Reason.....I really like to stick to my own kind......just because, I love the comfort of the "familiar" and really do not care for all the drama around inter-tribal or inter-racial marriages. Just don't have the time for all that mess. I really don't do "tribalistic" set ups. Not that adventurous.

That would really wear me out and I would really lose interest fast enough for sure

Just lost a Close friend whose wife is from same village as the deceased....
I was talking with her some hours ago, and she started explaining her ordeal.
Do you know that All atms of her Husband's accounts, documents ,car and home property was forcefully taken from her a day after her Husband's departure by his family??
Right now they are down on getting Compensation from his coy and RSA without considering Her Fate...

So tribal or Inter-Tribal Marriage has nothing to do with the Success of a Union or Future Circumstances One will Face...

Faith111:
Just lost a Close friend whose wife is from same village as the deceased....
I was talking with her some hours ago, and she started explaining her ordeal.
Do you know that All atms of her Husband's accounts, documents ,car and home property was forcefully taken from her a day after her Husband's departure by his family??
Right now they are down on getting Compensation from his coy and RSA without considering Her Fate...

So tribal or Inter-Tribal Marriage has nothing to do with the Success of a Union or Future Circumstances One will Face...

really? Barbarism of the highest order. Maybe it's their tradition. It's rare a daughter of the soil can be treated unfairly. In my place you dare not try that with a daughter of the land.

While I agree with you tonychristopher about marrying one's kind, one's kind doesn't necessarily mean tribe.

I married my kind, we are both in same profession and I dont see how I would have coped with marrying someone else.

As for tribe, he is originally from the SW but was born and bred in the north so he speaks yoruba and hausa fluently.
Im originally from the SE but was born and bred in the SW so I speak igbo fluently but speak yoruba sparingly.
But my awesome dh and I speak same language, love. We go from english to yoruba to igbo( yes I speak igbo to him and he responds) as the spirit directs . My kids would be multilingual as they would get igbo from me, yoruba and hausa from their dad.

The culture disparities even makes the relationship fun cos we learn new things about each others cultures.

In all, whether same tribe or not, marriage is about the person you intend to spend the rest of your life with. Not all them mills and boon romance or kim kardashian's or telemundo. If you go into marriage understanding the basics of marriage and with the right foundation (God), tribe is a non-issue.

sugah:
While I agree with you tonychristopher about marrying one's kind, one's kind doesn't necessarily mean tribe.

I married my kind, we are both in same profession and I dont see how I would have coped with marrying someone else.

As for tribe, he is originally from the SW but was born and bred in the north so he speaks yoruba and hausa fluently.
Im originally from the SE but was born and bred in the SW so I speak igbo fluently but speak yoruba sparingly.
But my awesome dh and I speak same language, love. We go from english to yoruba to igbo( yes I speak igbo to him and he responds) as the spirit directs . My kids would be multilingual as they would get igbo from me, yoruba and hausa from their dad.

The culture disparities even makes the relationship fun cos we learn new things about each others cultures.

In all, whether same tribe or not, marriage is about the person you intend to spend the rest of your life with. Not all them mills and boon romance or kim kardashian's or telemundo. If you go into marriage understanding the basics of marriage and with the right foundation (God), tribe is a non-issue.

Well whatever sails your boat ..I pray that it last and I wish you all the best


This is not alarmist ..I have seen majority of inter tribal marriage crash ...if we have statistics its should be like 80% crashing .....I pray yours last ....

Honey I have see a lot from apprehensive inlaws to suspecting hubby to confused offsprings

A whole lot ..its so confusing


One should stick to his or her kind ..not professionally but culturally

There is more to marriage than love... Even if you want to do inter tribal do like igbo-ikwerre-ukwuani thing
Efik-annang-ibibio thing
Yoruba-itshekiri--edo


Buy mind you not all inter tribal marriage fail...some are great and I have seen that also but on the minority


Wish you happy married life

tonychristopher:


Well whatever sails your boat ..I pray that it last and I wish you all the best


This is not alarmist ..I have seen majority of inter tribal marriage crash ...if we have statistics its should be like 80% crashing .....I pray yours last ....

Honey I have see a lot from apprehensive inlaws to suspecting hubby to confused offsprings

A whole lot ..its so confusing


One should stick to his or her kind ..not professionally but culturally

There is more to marriage than love... Even if you want to do inter tribal do like igbo-ikwerre-ukwuani thing
Efik-annang-ibibio thing
Yoruba-itshekiri--edo


Buy mind you not all inter tribal marriage fail...some are great and I have seen that also but on the minority


Wish you happy married life

Save your prayers for yours, thank you

sugah:


Save your prayers for yours, thank you

Madam abi na Oga

No be quarel ..I know it hurts but the truth must be told

Eddygourdo:
really? Barbarism of the highest order. Maybe it's their tradition. It's rare a daughter of the soil can be treated unfairly. In my place you dare not try that with a daughter of the land.

The heart of a Man is desperately wicked...
In fact I think overfamiliarity caused some things...

They took advantage of the fact that they knew her mum to be a poor widow, hence everything in her possession belonged to their brother...
If She was the daughter of a very influential Chief, they wouldn't dare that.
Such is Life

Eddygourdo:
really? Barbarism of the highest order. Maybe it's their tradition. It's rare a daughter of the soil can be treated unfairly. In my place you dare not try that with a daughter of the land.

Maybe because She didn't have kids for their brother.

tonychristopher:


Well whatever sails your boat ..I pray that it last and I wish you all the best


This is not alarmist ..I have seen majority of inter tribal marriage crash ...if we have statistics its should be like 80% crashing .....I pray yours last ....

Honey I have see a lot from apprehensive inlaws to suspecting hubby to confused offsprings

A whole lot ..its so confusing


One should stick to his or her kind ..not professionally but culturally

There is more to marriage than love... Even if you want to do inter tribal do like igbo-ikwerre-ukwuani thing
Efik-annang-ibibio thing
Yoruba-itshekiri--edo


Buy mind you not all inter tribal marriage fail...some are great and I have seen that also but on the minority


Wish you happy married life

Sorry, how did you arrive at your statistics?
A little of my background below;

Grandparents....Inter-Tribal and Lasted till my GrandPa died...

Parents....Inter-Tribal and Lasted over 30years without terrible itches till I lost my mom...

Myself...Inter-Tribal, 4yrs of fun, Peace and joy and its going to last gloriously till I'm 90....

Pls its never about tribe but personality...
I've got my facts

Faith111:


Sorry, how did you arrive at your statistics?
A little of my background below;

Grandparents....Inter-Tribal and Lasted till my GrandPa died...

Parents....Inter-Tribal and Lasted over 30years without terrible itches till I lost my mom...

Myself...Inter-Tribal, 4yrs of fun, Peace and joy and its going to last gloriously till I'm 90....

Pls its never about tribe but personality...
I've got my facts

before we talk inter tribal as tonychristopher will say what tribes are they

I mean ikwerre and igbo are same tribe
urhobo and isoko same
yoruba and itshekiri with edo almost same
igalla and idoma almost same


so which tribes are your granny lets start from there

Faith111:


Sorry, how did you arrive at your statistics?
A little of my background below;

Grandparents....Inter-Tribal and Lasted till my GrandPa died...

Parents....Inter-Tribal and Lasted over 30years without terrible itches till I lost my mom...

Myself...Inter-Tribal, 4yrs of fun, Peace and joy and its going to last gloriously till I'm 90....

Pls its never about tribe but personality...
I've got my facts

annangs efiks ibibio orongs same tribe linguistic group

so tell us the tribes of your old folks

tonychristopher:


Well whatever sails your boat ..I pray that it last and I wish you all the best


This is not alarmist ..I have seen majority of inter tribal marriage crash ...if we have statistics its should be like 80% crashing .....I pray yours last ....

Honey I have see a lot from apprehensive inlaws to suspecting hubby to confused offsprings

A whole lot ..its so confusing


One should stick to his or her kind ..not professionally but culturally

There is more to marriage than love... Even if you want to do inter tribal do like igbo-ikwerre-ukwuani thing
Efik-annang-ibibio thing
Yoruba-itshekiri--edo


Buy mind you not all inter tribal marriage fail...some are great and I have seen that also but on the minority


Wish you happy married life

Oga you are making sense but a bit harsh

I am in an intertribal marriage and its working out perfectly. My husband is Yoruba and I am igbo. It is very common to see two tribes marry in cities and these marriages last. So saying 80% of inter tribal marriages crash is grossly exaggerating. I dated from my tribe before marriage, It didnt workout and I let go. My husband had the qualities I needed in a life partner so I married him. I have it good with him and wouldn't trade him for anyone.

BellaElla:
I am in an intertribal marriage and its working out perfectly. My husband is Yoruba and I am igbo. It is very common to see two tribes marry in cities and these marriages last. So saying 80% of inter tribal marriages crash is grossly exaggerating. I dated from my tribe before marriage, It didnt workout and I let go. My husband had the qualities I needed in a life partner so I married him. I have it good with him and wouldn't trade him for anyone.

niceeeee

tonychristopher:


Madam abi na Oga

No be quarel ..I know it hurts but the truth must be told

Sugar, muah