₦airaland Forum

cutebobo:
You are right about the prayer aspect but how many of us can bodly say I am are highly spiritual. So its better talking from moral aspects too.

Oh my God! My topic on the front page again the third time.

As if that wasnt the original intent of yours Smh

we are all pretenders when we want to get marry. fact!

5 Reasons Why You May End-up In A Bad Marriage.
Nowadays many people will come out shouting that 'my marriage is this my marriage is that' shortly after their marriage and you keep wondering what happened. I think I have some of the reasons.

Handsomeness or Beauty
This is the problem of some Nigeria girls but the guys are not also exempted. They are like, 'if I want to get marry, I will a tall guy, slim, fresh guy, dark, light, eloquent english, pink lips, big breast ( for guys),. Its good to have the image of want you for your life but I must tell you, few years after wedding, all this beauty will fade away. Its not as if the partner will loose the beauty or handsomeness but then, you will focus your mind on important issues like feeding, taking care of children and so on than facial look.

Faulty Courting
Courting should be like a training ground or should I say where what you really want for your family life is decided before marriage but unfortunately Nigerians see it as merry time. Moving from Kfc to Shoprite. If you see something wrong in your spouse to be, correct him or her then if he/she refuses, cancel the relationship so as to avoid 'you know me like this ooo before we get marry issue'

Two parallel lines
I know of some families where the husband will be a gentle going man while the wife is really tough then you keep wondering how it happened. Issues like this also break marriages. If you are the kind of guy that does not like trouble, please don't date a troublesome lady and thinking that you can bear it now. What you can bear now my not be so years later after marriage. Love may be blind but marriage is the tool that will open it. Choose carefully my brothers and sisters.

Respect
Respect is equivalent to love. You can't tell me you love a guy you want to get married to and you can't give him the respect he deserves even if you are age mates. This is where most Nigerians ladies are missing it. Some ladies don't want to marry men older than them by few years because they don't want to be controlled by any man. A lady who does not respect you as her boyfriend will surely not respect your family and that's it.

Don't let your parent or church choose your future husband for you
I have heard of some cases where some churches will tell you to marry your church member. For what reason my fellow nairalanders? Don't ever do that because when you finally face challenges in that marriage, all they can do is advise both of you. Finally, don't let your parent dictate the tribe to marry to you. You owe your life and not your parent's life

You see that beauty tin is causing problems with a

Well said.

davodyguy:
As if that wasnt the original intent of yours Smh

Do you have a problem with that if I may ask?

davodyguy:
As if that wasnt the original intent of yours Smh

Do you have a problem with that if I may ask?

and what then should be the ideal age difference between a husband and wife?

OK , NOTED

cutebobo:
To guide in choosing the right person and not choosing or dictating who to marry to you.

Am having similar prob now sotei I come dey develop hate to my pastor I love so much, but God no go gree.

A little boy asked his father"Daddy"how much does it cost to get married,Father replied"I don't know,I am still paying.Because of the dynamic nature of man,there is bound to be challenges in marriage,its just the ability to manage it that makes the difference,

Go for what is pleasant to you be it character or beauty. Everybody with their own choice. Enough of this info telling people not to go into marriage becos of beauty cause it fades (one of the reason both men and women cheat when the see a hot babe or a well built guy respectively). Though with age wrikkle are inevitable but the with proper maintainance the beauty still remains e.g omotola, bianca even our current 1st lady etc. To look at it from another angle, change is constant that does not exempt character. Some people change after marriage due to either bad influence or them just pretending all through the period of courtship. Just pray to God to help you find that special someone for you.

unfortunately love won't allow u reason all this points at an early age.

martyns303:
and what then should be the ideal age difference between a husband and wife?

8 years

iyobs7:
Stop with this religious bruhaha...

Marriage is about understanding and mutual respect garnished with undiluted love and trust. Are you trying to say Pastor Chris Oyakhilome and Chris Okojie and not prayer commando's?

Your assertion of prayer is inconsequential in building a loving home.

Who cares about the aforementioned pastors life.If prayers didn't work for them and YOU ,it did for me..

Your post ,I hereby floccinaucinihilipilificate.
You defend what's your's and I'll defend whats mine..

jezuzboi:
8 years

generation gap, tell me ur joking.

cutebobo:
To guide in choosing the right person and not choosing or dictating who to marry to you.

thanks

cutebobo:
To guide in choosing the right person and not choosing or dictating who to marry to you.

thanks

cutebobo:
To guide in choosing the right person and not choosing or dictating who to marry to you.

thanks

ebenice:
as much as I admire your write up ...I think it all base on your own personal intuition ...everyone has their own personal views towards marriage


your last point though, the place of parent in choosing life partner cant be relegated either ..they can advice and tell from experience but a child may be blinded by the afore mentioned points but may need help of the parent as eye opener...but although not all parents are mothers and real dad if u know what I mean.. put God first though

If a child is properly trained (not just attending school) by the parents, the issue of the parent choosing a spouse for the child won't arise.

Why because a race horse won't act like a circus horse in a race.

The issue of putting God first, how?
God has given us wisdom, discernment and free will (and is all these) to make choices and gain experiences there from.

It would be a violation of divine principles for God to make choices for us in mundane issues.

If you can't decide and choose a spouse here, how then can you decide in more subtle dimensions.

Respect is very vital in marriage.It is very easy to get sex,food and affection from other woman but respect and submission will diffrenciate you as good wife.

Happiness is not based on looks or money
Its whom your heart chose to be with
That very one that completes you
Your own very perfect imperfections
The one you can walk with in storm, winds, rain and hot sun and don't feel any low

Just sad these days
We look beyond that special thing we share

Annie and 2face comes to mind
He still remains her man crush even after several cheats
She forgives him
Loves him truly to stand and be by him
2face found a treasure to behold. The one that loves him truly

Its hard these days
Its either man loves woman and woman don't or the other way round

May we all meet that special someone ready to stand with us all even in the darkest shiiit

Well said! These are actually so true... Another big problem is financial differences... Many people don't think it out at the initial stage but money is always a big problem in many marriages. We have seen women cheat because their husband cannot take care of them/afford them the lifestyle that they want and we have seen marriages break apart because of irreconcilable differences due to finance. So it's good to weigh in finance into top consideration before deciding if you both are ready for that long tough journey

martyns303:
generation gap, tell me ur joking.

No I'm not. You know that women age faster than men. If you marry your age mate or a girl few ears younger, she will eventually look older than you. (I've witnessed this overtime)

But with a girl that younger than you as a wife, she's most likely not to overtake you in that regard.

Dyt:
Happiness is not based on looks or money
Its whom your heart chose to be with
That very one that completes you
Your own very perfect imperfections
The one you can walk with in storm, winds, rain and hot sun and don't feel any low

Just sad these days
We look beyond that special thing we share

Annie and 2face comes to mind
He still remains her man crush even after several cheats
She forgives him
Loves him truly to stand and be by him
2face found a treasure to behold. The one that loves him truly

Its hard these days
Its either man loves woman and woman don't or the other way round

May we all meet that special someone ready to stand with us all even in the darkest shiiit

This is more like a poem. Lovely!

What about genotype?

nikkiking:
Wetin to do self naim be my problem


I neva get tym for Love.

love Ke?..Love no dey exist naaaaaaaa,just have the Diplomacy and Reasoining,u will Never Love

i concur

cutebobo:
Do you have a problem with that if I may ask?

No I don't. Since I don't get to celebrate and rejoice over frivolities

Study has shown that a man's life can be cut short by 26 percent if u marry a horrible wife. It is also proven that though men tend to be drift more in marriage, women can endure better. Point is as a man, if u know what is good for you, look carefully b4 u choose a wife. From my own personal experience and as hard as it is for me to admit, the more beautiful ladies mostly have less substance that endures. That sacrifice and cheerfulness that makes a woman special simply isn't there most times.

Adonis3:
for me, The heart gets to me first


Ion think I've ever dated any girl coz of beauty


Though good but it isn't a determinant


Women age faster than men



So when she begins to age



Her character is what's left!



#Adonis3HasSopkenAgain

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daclint:
This land ain't for sale?

Hw much last

Vincent41:
love Ke?..Love no dey exist naaaaaaaa,just have the Diplomacy and Reasoining,u will Never Love

Hardcore,na una dey love pass