₦airaland Forum

menxer:
If a child is properly trained (not just attending school) by the parents, the issue of the parent choosing a spouse for the child won't arise.

Why because a race horse won't act like a circus horse in a race.

The issue of putting God first, how?
God has given us wisdom, discernment and free will (and is all these) to make choices and gain experiences there from.

It would be a violation of divine principles for God to make choices for us in mundane issues.

If you can't decide and choose a spouse here, how then can you decide in more subtle dimensions.

I found your first 2 sentences as accurate as can be. But then there was a serious dent when you delved into marriage and GOD, dismissing the all importance of GOD- the founder of marriage- as inconsequential when man has to make a spousal choice.

Hmmm! How wrong can you be!
Apart from salvation, what else is more important than marriage? And if marriage is ultra-important, how dare you trust your own judgement?

Who is wise enough to understand the human heart, which is desperately wicked, by the way?

GOD chose Eve for Adam, and it was meant to us future generations as a guide and standard.
Abraham's chief servant was wise enough to make this prayer when he got to the well in search of a wife for his master's son;

"O LORD, GOD of my master, Abraham, he prayed. 'Please give me success today, and show unfailing love to my master, Abraham. See, I am standing here beside this spring, and the young women of the town are coming out to draw water'. This is my request. I will ask of one of them, 'please give me a drink from your jug'. If she says, ' yes, have a drink, and I will water your camels, too!- Let her be the one YOU have selected as Issac's wife. This is how I will know that YOU have shown unfailing love to my master". (Gen 24:12-14)

What a test! Choosing a life partner is worth such a test.
But most importantly , he didn't trust his own judgement or wisdom, and neither should we.


Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.
(Prov 3:5-6)

Who are those who fear the LORD? HE will show them the path they should choose.
(Psalm 25:12)

op one question: are you married?

cutebobo:
Nowadays many people will come out shouting that 'my marriage is this my marriage is that' shortly after their marriage and you keep wondering what happened. I think I have some of the reasons.

Handsomeness or Beauty
This is the problem of some Nigeria girls but the guys are not also exempted. They are like, 'if I want to get marry, I will a tall guy, slim, fresh guy, dark, light, eloquent english, pink lips, big breast ( for guys),. Its good to have the image of want you for your life but I must tell you, few years after wedding, all this beauty will fade away. Its not as if the partner will loose the beauty or handsomeness but then, you will focus your mind on important issues like feeding, taking care of children and so on than facial look.

Faulty Courting
Courting should be like a training ground or should I say where what you really want for your family life is decided before marriage but unfortunately Nigerians see it as merry time. Moving from Kfc to Shoprite. If you see something wrong in your spouse to be, correct him or her then if he/she refuses, cancel the relationship so as to avoid 'you know me like this ooo before we get marry issue'

Two parallel lines
I know of some families where the husband will be a gentle going man while the wife is really tough then you keep wondering how it happened. Issues like this also break marriages. If you are the kind of guy that does not like trouble, please don't date a troublesome lady and thinking that you can bear it now. What you can bear now my not be so years later after marriage. Love may be blind but marriage is the tool that will open it. Choose carefully my brothers and sisters.

Respect
Respect is equivalent to love. You can't tell me you love a guy you want to get married to and you can't give him the respect he deserves even if you are age mates. This is where most Nigerians ladies are missing it. Some ladies don't want to marry men older than them by few years because they don't want to be controlled by any man. A lady who does not respect you as her boyfriend will surely not respect your family and that's it.

Don't let your parent or church choose your future husband for you
I have heard of some cases where some churches will tell you to marry your church member. For what reason my fellow nairalanders? Don't ever do that because when you finally face challenges in that marriage, all they can do is advise both of you. Finally, don't let your parent dictate the tribe to marry to you. You owe your life and not your parent's life

#still your boy CUTEBOBO

Number 5 is soooooooo true

jezuzboi:
This is more like a poem. Lovely!

I can compose you some


But only when I am in love mood o

ruffcoin99:
What about genotype?

This really sound like your own very pain

That's needed during courtship but sometimes it fails and then left for the couple to decide what they want

.

Nice write up.

diva90:
Well said! These are actually so true... Another big problem is financial differences... Many people don't think it out at the initial stage but money is always a big problem in many marriages. We have seen women cheat because their husband cannot take care of them/afford them the lifestyle that they want and we have seen marriages break apart because of irreconcilable differences due to finance. So it's good to weigh in finance into top consideration before deciding if you both are ready for that long tough journey

A very big one in marriage
Every marriage faces this one way or the other
It depends on content of both parties and how they can manage the present income
Let go of ego and pride to suit their present needs

Once they are contented believe me, they will sail

cutebobo:
.

Don't let your parent or church choose your future husband for you
I have heard of some cases where some churches will tell you to marry your church member. For what reason my fellow nairalanders? Don't ever do that because when you finally face challenges in that marriage, all they can do is advise both of you. Finally, don't let your parent dictate the tribe to marry to you. You owe your life and not your parent's life.

I wish some parents read this article...

Dyt:
I can compose you some


But only when I am in love mood o

Would you mind me getting you in that mood? I'm quite talented when it comes to that. And of course, I would like you to compose me some.

jezuzboi:
Would you mind me getting you in that mood? I'm quite talented when it comes to that. And of course, I would like you to compose me some.

Hmmmm
Lover boy?

*runs away*

If u pay yxdy, u nor dey pay 2dy, na free 2mao na.

diva90:
Well said! These are actually so true... Another big problem is financial differences... Many people don't think it out at the initial stage but money is always a big problem in many marriages. We have seen women cheat because their husband cannot take care of them/afford them the lifestyle that they want and we have seen marriages break apart because of irreconcilable differences due to finance. So it's good to weigh in finance into top consideration before deciding if you both are ready for that long tough journey

if you marry a guy cos of his high financial status and suddenly a tsunami hit is account, and then you cheat....you are a complete LovePeddler.....marrriage goes beyond looks, finance, sect of religion, family status, morals...etc....marriage is the complete love you have for someone and you still cant find the reason you cannot be without that person

When you understand that the world is run by emotions & not logic, the better for you....No matter how much one preaches about diet & exercise, we will still feed on what we like regarding the consequences, so it is for marriage.. .... A lot of Single couples are armed with enough info, but emotions can get in the way & becloud their sense of reasoning

postmann:
I found your first 2 sentences as accurate as can be. But then there was a serious dent when you delved into marriage and GOD, dismissing the all importance of GOD- the founder of marriage- as inconsequential when man has to make a spousal choice.

Hmmm! How wrong can you be!
Apart from salvation, what else is more important than marriage? And if marriage is ultra-important, how dare you trust your own judgement?

Who is wise enough to understand the human heart, which is desperately wicked, by the way?

GOD chose Eve for Adam, and it was meant to us future generations as a guide and standard.
Abraham's chief servant was wise enough to make this prayer when he got to the well in search of a wife for his master's son;

"O LORD, GOD of my master, Abraham, he prayed. 'Please give me success today, and show unfailing love to my master, Abraham. See, I am standing here beside this spring, and the young women of the town are coming out to draw water'. This is my request. I will ask of one of them, 'please give me a drink from your jug'. If she says, ' yes, have a drink, and I will water your camels, too!- Let her be the one YOU have selected as Issac's wife. This is how I will know that YOU have shown unfailing love to my master". (Gen 24:12-14)

What a test! Choosing a life partner is worth such a test.
But most importantly , he didn't trust his own judgement or wisdom, and neither should we.


Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.
(Prov 3:5-6)

Who are those who fear the LORD? HE will show them the path they should choose.
(Psalm 25:12)

How did I dismiss marriage or God in my comment?

Even the scripture you quoted, it was wisdom, free will and discernment at work.

If I may ask who is the author of the test you quoted? God?

How many people did he put to that test?

How would God guide and direct your path without wisdom and discernment?

menxer:
How did I dismiss marriage or God in my comment?

Even the scripture you quoted, it was wisdom, free will and discernment at work.

If I may ask who is the author of the test you quoted? God?

How many people did he put to that test?

How would God guide and direct your path without wisdom and discernment?

You seem full of arguments and I won't indulge you.


"Who is the author of the test you wrote"?


What are you trying to imply By that question? You want to question the bible too?

Never mind, the scripture is given for those it is meant for.

postmann:
You seem full of arguments and I won't indulge you.


"Who is the author of the test you wrote"?


What are you trying to imply By that question? You want to question the bible too?

Never mind, the scripture is given for those it is meant for.

Hahahahahahahaha
Are you saying "the scripture is given for those it is meant for" that ask no question?

Be not afraid... is it not written "iron sharpens iron", can that happen without a little friction and/or iron fillings falling off?

...come let us reason together.

menxer:
Hahahahahahahaha
Are you saying "the scripture is given for those it is meant for" that ask no question?

Be not afraid... is it not written "iron sharpens iron", can that happen without a little friction and/or iron fillings falling off?

...come let us reason together.

Afraid? Don't make me laugh.
There are principles:

One, I don't argue scripture
Two, there are basic requirements; that the scripture is without error, the authentic Word of GOD.

It's obvious you don't meet the requirement in #2. And so, we can only argue. I don't argue scripture.

When you asked "who is the author of the text you quote", I'm sorry, but that implies you cannot be considered a Christian in a true, practical sense of the word, and as a result you don't stand on the privileged grace to say "iron sharpens iron"

From your second quote, I could perceive your stance.
You are full of arguments.
But there is no common platform where we could both stand and kick it off.

I'm sorry.

postmann:
Afraid? Don't make me laugh.
There are principles:

One, I don't argue scripture
Two, there are basic requirements; that the scripture is without error, the authentic Word of GOD.

It's obvious you don't meet the requirement in #2. And so, we can only argue. I don't argue scripture.
When you asked "who is the author of the text you quote", I'm sorry, but that implies you can not be considered a Christian in a true, practical sense of the word, and as a result you don't stand on the privileged grace to say "iron sharpens iron"

From your second quote, I could perceive your stance.
You are full of arguments.
But there is no common platform where we could both stand and kick it off.

I'm sorry.

SMH
What requirement is there in your #2 for me to meet?

If the scripture is without error, why should I be afraid to ask questions?

I can't recall questioning the "authentic word of God".

From the way you write me off, its clear you are confined by the theology of fear of God rather than the experience of God's love.

Even God permits us to argue (present) our case.

PS:
I would suggest you read my first comment again as a matured christian that you are. Bless you.

I like your point on respect

YOU CAN NOT BE BROKE: “The silver is mine,the gold is Mine, saith the Lord of Hosts”{Haggai 2:8}. God can never be broke; so are you, you are am heir of God and a joint heir with Christ Jesus. So it is a taboo for you as a christian to be poor. The moment you became born again, you have been born into the life of God; called Zoe! you have the Life and Nature of God in you, you have been born into your inheritance of endless stream of prosperity,riches, wealth,good health, glory,honour and power. All you have to do to activate your inheritance; it's by studying the word of God to know your right in Christ Jesus. Please send this message to ten person as I have send to you and you will be richly blessed!

meeeenn iv made up my mind to marry a woman and all she can come up with is that i should marry her in her own church. but im planning to go to her compound for traditional rites. why wont i do it in my own compound.
some girls are crazy shaa.
before u kno it her parents will start calling u, suporting the motion.
i hate that alot and always sees that as a bad sigh.