₦airaland Forum

First time kwa...some mothers tho!!

Cutehector:
I think u r very desperate to get married. Smth tells me ur 40 and still single. Relax. It's not a must to b married

Story.... Marriage is the one last thing going through my head now. I'm still in my early 20' so don't judge me with my quote... Maturity is not all about age.....

KissCODE:
you are a wise lady.
You will marry a wealthy, humble and kind man.
A man who will give you all the comfort you need.
God will bless your marriage with blessings beyond your fantasy. In Jesus name...

Tanx dr...

KissCODE:
If you are yet single; i pray you get married before Dec 31st 2016... Amen.
But washing someone‘s clothe does not make one a maid. Remember that in Africa & Nigeria, marriage is not between a man & a woman but between two families.

OP, if your reason for bringing the girl to my mom is for her aproval then i will encourage her to wash the clothes with smile & happiness. After all as a would be mother-inlaw, she could have ordinarily asked to help her wash clothes, do the dishes and other house work.

So for me i will encourage my woman to wash the clothes and even do more.
I see nothing wrong in it.

you have a weird way of processing thought, how is that not weird ? and you will smile on top of that ,

SANDOSKI:
Story.... Marriage is the one last thing going through my head now. I'm still in my early 20' so don't judge me with my quote... Maturity is not all about age.....

that's wad they all say

"pcguru your babe is dirty oya wash her pants", and i will carry my big head, fold my arms and sit down and start washing clothes because am instructed by someone am just meeting for the first time because i want to marry, even me repeating this sounds foolish already, whoever agrees to this is a weirdo like KISSCODE

SANDOSKI:
I'll wash it,... I'll ask her if there is still more. If I can wash for my mum then there is no big deal washing for her. My guys mum has to be my mum too........ I won't fall sick or my makeup won't clean if I do the washing.
There is nothing to form for........._______

My dream is to have a nice mother inlaw(to be), someone dat is down to earth, dat treat you just like her own daughter {remember that a daughter can anything for her mum just to make her happy }

Glory be to God.

you will make a good nanny.

KissCODE:
it is funny how you think. The OP didnt specify the method of the cloth washing.
Having said that: if you have ever used washing machine you will know that washing machine does not work without the help of a human being. It cant take cloths in to itself neither can it bring them out after washing. So maybe the OP mother just wanted the lady to assist the washing machine.

You talked about a maid... Probably the OP‘s mother has a maid who was sick and had to go on a sick leave and she just needed to find out how loyal her would be sister inlaw will be.

Bros make we forget all these oyibo life style. We are Africans and i am proud to be one.
Go to America look at all the influential men in government, their wives are home makers thats why you dont hear them talk ofdivorce or cheating. Look at the Bush or Gate or even Trump.
Bill gate cheated because he has a wife who loves her carreer more than he marriage & she didnt make noise about it because she knows it is partly her fault.
Tell me what is the work of Otedola‘s wife apart from home making.
Tell me what is the work of Dangote‘s wife apart from home making.
Mention great men with stablehome and you will see that their wives are organizers of their home.
Bros when you a peaceful home front you will have a peaceful business front or office front.
I am married to a beautiful home maker (not a house wife). She knows what it means to give a man peace & love at home. Which motivates me the man to go extra mile in making she and my lovely children happy.

My role models in life are not film makers, musicians or entertainers. My role models in life are men with skills for making money and making home.
Thanks...

My friend comot for road. I am also married for over 11 years. I do NOT sweep in my inlaws house nor wash my inlaws clothing. I have never done that and NEVER will. That is the responsibility of my hubby's younger sisters not mine. Do i cook? absolutely.
Its men like you that make rich men insist their daughters marry within their class .....with your poor man mentality before they will turn someone's daughter to community slave ontop say she wan marry.

Go to Otedola/Gates/Mittal et al;s houses and you will find they have helps and caretakers across all homes..,their wives arent maids in their own homes /... again, loyality is NOT measured by the type of chores you do....if thats the case, househelps and gatemen and drivers will not connive to murder Oga and his family., I just pity your wife

SANDOSKI:
Story.... Marriage is the one last thing going through my head now. I'm still in my early 20' so don't judge me with my quote... Maturity is not all about age.....

that's not maturity that's free labour and exploitation, have you washed clothes for any man because of MIL ?,please let us know so we can start a petition on change.org .

KissCODE:
it is funny how you think. The OP didnt specify the method of the cloth washing.
Having said that: if you have ever used washing machine you will know that washing machine does not work without the help of a human being. It cant take cloths in to itself neither can it bring them out after washing. So maybe the OP mother just wanted the lady to assist the washing machine.

You talked about a maid... Probably the OP‘s mother has a maid who was sick and had to go on a sick leave and she just needed to find out how loyal her would be sister inlaw will be.

Bros make we forget all these oyibo life style. We are Africans and i am proud to be one.
Go to America look at all the influential men in government, their wives are home makers thats why you dont hear them talk ofdivorce or cheating. Look at the Bush or Gate or even Trump.
Bill gate cheated because he has a wife who loves her carreer more than he marriage & she didnt make noise about it because she knows it is partly her fault.
Tell me what is the work of Otedola‘s wife apart from home making.
Tell me what is the work of Dangote‘s wife apart from home making.
Mention great men with stablehome and you will see that their wives are organizers of their home.
Bros when you a peaceful home front you will have a peaceful business front or office front.
I am married to a beautiful home maker (not a house wife). She knows what it means to give a man peace & love at home. Which motivates me the man to go extra mile in making she and my lovely children happy.

My role models in life are not film makers, musicians or entertainers. My role models in life are men with skills for making money and making home.
Thanks...

Dangote's wife works!

SANDOSKI:
I'll wash it,... I'll ask her if there is still more. If I can wash for my mum then there is no big deal washing for her. My guys mum has to be my mum too........ I won't fall sick or my makeup won't clean if I do the washing.
There is nothing to form for........._______

My dream is to have a nice mother inlaw(to be), someone dat is down to earth, dat treat you just like her own daughter {remember that a daughter can anything for her mum just to make her happy }

hmmmm....

is this really coming from ur heart...

SMH

SANDOSKI:
I'll wash it,... I'll ask her if there is still more. If I can wash for my mum then there is no big deal washing for her. My guys mum has to be my mum too........ I won't fall sick or my makeup won't clean if I do the washing.
There is nothing to form for........._______

My dream is to have a nice mother inlaw(to be), someone dat is down to earth, dat treat you just like her own daughter {remember that a daughter can anything for her mum just to make her happy }

I understand your dream sweetheart. It will be superb to have a mil that you treat like your own mother and she treats you like her daughter. In fact, I would rather have a mil I smile with than the one I fight with. However, its a show of bad taste for said mother to bring out her cloths for you to wash in this scenario and a show of worse taste for you to wash those cloths. What kind of uncultured people are the players here? When you and your prospective mil get to the stage where the relationship has metamorphosized into the mother-daughter one, then you can wash her cloths all you like...just like you would wash your mother's. Your jumping into the good maid role now will haunt eventually...

Izzy002:
You brought your Girlfriend to your family house to see and meet with your mum..

After interacting for a while with your mum, your mum then goes into her room and brings out her piles of dirty clothes for your girlfriend to wash.

Guys, what would you do if you were confronted with this situation?

Ladies, what are you going to do if you find yourself in this situation?
Wash it or not?

Be sincere. No forming. No pretending.

I'll joyfully wash the cloths

Not the ist time I'm meeting her
What's she insinuating?, if i know how to wash ir not? Gasikiya, i will just form I'm in haste for her oooo
All these over sabi mother in law sef

Desperate marry by force, fire and brimstone ladies will wash the clothing

It is a no no for me! and what kind of a mother makes any guest wash her dirty linen on first day of meeting?
I will really question this woman's state of mind.

KissCODE:
Aforti

There is nothing i wont to for my father inlaw. Because he is going to be my “father“ inlaw not just another man in the street.

My Dad has 3 sons inlaw & the one who is a mobile police officer is the one my parents consider their best son inlaw. He is the poorest of all. But he is the one that knows some of the things we the children are strugling to find out from my father.
My dad doesent need his money, (i doubt if he has what he can give to my dad, but he takes good care of his children & wife). He is a superior officer yet he still goes closer to my dad than any other inlaw. He hears my father‘s breath. He is like my dad‘s first son. Even now he practically have a room in my father‘s house just like we his sons. All because of his closeness and service to my mom & dad. I wont be surprised (none of my parent‘s childrn) will be suprised if my dad dies and we see this guy‘s name in his will.
We all have even grown fonder of him. He is not from our state nor our region buy his down to earth“ness“ has broken all of us. We have no option than to love him as elder brother. He serves in another state far from where we live but he still comes around anytime he is on leave.
My other inlaws are & theirs wives are beginning to get jelous because of how this guys not only our company but also our comfort.

.

According to your post he is just your girl friends father or your mother is just the girls bf's mother. Not a mother in-laws or father in-laws yet. The factories you wash his cloths does not automatically approve or guarantee you guys are getting married. Until you are married and sealed the deal those people are still just acquaintances, you said girl friend not wife, so stop calling them in-laws if you change your post to I and my wife went to see my mum and she broth put cloths for her to wash it will be a different respons. If all the mothers of the different guys that the girl most of dated bring out cloths for her to wash how many times do you think she probably would have washed ppls cloths just in the name of respecting my mother in-laws to be. This talk is irritating for 21th century maybe if we were in the 70s and you ask this question you light get an ans in favour of your mother, that welcomes people with domestic task. What a noble family

I will wash them. When I visited my boyfriend I normally take things from his mom to do when I see her doing them. Is not a big deal

SANDOSKI:
I'll wash it,... I'll ask her if there is still more. If I can wash for my mum then there is no big deal washing for her. My guys mum has to be my mum too........ I won't fall sick or my makeup won't clean if I do the washing.
There is nothing to form for........._______

My dream is to have a nice mother inlaw(to be), someone dat is down to earth, dat treat you just like her own daughter {remember that a daughter can anything for her mum just to make her happy }

I love the point you made on this issue.
May your dreams come true.




For me, I will take my mum to her room and request for the reasons behind her action.
The stated reasons will guide my actions.

NB: I can't question my mum or condemn her actions in the presence of my girl neither will I question my girl in the presence of my mum.
Shikenah, Out of here to avoid End time wives to be

Nwocha12:
I will wash them. When I visited my boyfriend I normally take things from his mom to do when I see her doing them. Is not a big deal

I think the issue is the timing and the manner of approach.

It's her first visit there, and they've just being introduced.

The mother wasn't even subtle about it, she should have just brought clothes to wash by herself, and see if the girl would offer to help her. Even if she doesn't offer to help, she can be excused as its the first time they are meeting.

Your own bf's mother prolly never demanded you go and clean her kitchen or wash her clothes, but you offer to help.
I'm definitely sure she never even asked you to do anything on your first visit when you guys met.
Who does thst?

Anyway, its a hypothetical situation, and not real.

Op, no sane mother will do that. How can you just meet someone for the first time and you go in and pack all your laundry for her to wash it? If I'm the lady I won't come back to that house again cos you're already seeing signs of what you'll be signing up for if you wanna further your relationship with the guy.

SANDOSKI:
U r wrong...... Sometimes in life you need to monitor the type of people you meet. People are different, everyone can't have similar characters. It will be my decision whether to come back to the house next time or not.

If the OP helps his girlfriend to do the washing, dat will be nice of him.

It will be quite strange for any mother in law to start packing clothes out for her son new girlfriend without the son objecting. This is most probably a test. I support your action to offer to do it if you really love the boy.

Again only a fairy tales mom would put her daughter in law through this can of test just to bless her beyond riches.

If it neither of the two and she still continue to ask for such favour without you insistence, then your MIL is a psyco and need psychiatrist!

Lastly, it is hand washed clothes or with laundry machines. Laundry machines are really cheap. You can even get for 12K. I get angry how people still suffer themselves to wash with hands especially nursing mothers!

You see, African mothers no Nigerian mothers are excellent judges of characters. They have the innate ability of discerning things, picking out things the ordinary eyes wouldn't see. Like my parents would say, what they can spot out from a sitting position a young man cannot see it even if he climbs a mountain.

The mother giving the girlfriend clothes to wash isn't because the mother is rude or her son too poor to buy a washing machine. She isn't even assessing how well the girl can wash. She is deliberately putting her would be daughter in law on the spot. She's trying to judge the girl's character. Just a flinch from the lady will tell the mom a whole lot about the lady. Even if the lady forces a smile the mom will still take note of the fake smile. That's why most ladies are apprehensive about meeting their would be MILs. Best bet for any lady placed in such situation is to act natural!. Take her as your mom!!!! The lady can even make a joke of the situation by asking the son why he allowed his mom's clothes to pile up this much and saying something like "Im gonna change your name on my phone from Allwility to Lazy Allwility" or stuffs like that. Then wash the clothes and ask if you can join her in the kitchen because by that time the mother would be preparing food for the both of you.

This matter simple sef. My mother assess my friends by the way they eat their food whenever we go visiting her. Very few pass that test.

Talk about assessment centers!!

People seem to have forgotten we are Africans. Back in those days, girls go to the stream to fetch waters for their would be mother in laws and boys work in the farms of their would be father in laws. Of course they don't do it alone, they ask their friends to join them but everyone knows that such acts of love tell about how genuine their intentions are and is a real pointer to their character.

rushing to grab the clothes to wash doesn't prove that she will be a good wife at the end of the day.....it could be just be eye service.
Its not also a good test either if that is what the MIL was trying to do.
Some women behave well before they marry but then become terrorists as soon as the ring is on the finger.

Personally if my boyfriends mum did that, I would probably wash the clothes to respect the woman as an elder, but the relationship will be over.
I could never marry into such a family
They are the types that will expect their iyawo ile to be washing cow intestines at party's.
That kind of life is not for everyone

People should just be themselves and dont start what they dont intend to finish.

This behavior from a prospective MIL is bad. I see a badly behaved woman just because she is older does not mean she should take leave of good behavior. If I were the girl I will tell her I am very tired and in a hurry.

I will tell her that i just got my nails done




































Jokes! I hardly ever get my nails done

I will ask her where the washing machine is. If she does not have one, I will hiss at her and call her a foolish woman for opening her legs for a man who cannot buy her a washing machine. Whish kain nossess be dis?

MarryMeee:
I will ask her where the washing machine is. If she does not have one, I will hiss at her and call her a foolish woman for opening her legs for a man who cannot buy her a washing machine. Whish kain nossess be dis?

She's a wicked woman.If I hadn't visited, who would have washed the clothes for her

Izzy002:
You brought your Girlfriend to your family house to see and meet with your mum..

After interacting for a while with your mum, your mum then goes into her room and brings out her piles of dirty clothes for your girlfriend to wash.

Guys, what would you do if you were confronted with this situation?

Ladies, what are you going to do if you find yourself in this situation?
Wash it or not?

Be sincere. No forming. No pretending.

I will wash it as she's old enough to be my mother. But that's the last time she will see me in her house 'cos I won't marry her son again. She obviously has expectations from a daughter-in-law that I can't fulfill, I'm not a washerwoman.

SANDOSKI:
I'll wash it,... I'll ask her if there is still more. If I can wash for my mum then there is no big deal washing for her. My guys mum has to be my mum too........ I won't fall sick or my makeup won't clean if I do the washing.
There is nothing to form for........._______

My dream is to have a nice mother inlaw(to be), someone dat is down to earth, dat treat you just like her own daughter {remember that a daughter can anything for her mum just to make her happy }

There is a saying that says," Don't start what u can't finish" Gracias.

Allwility:
You see, African mothers no Nigerian mothers are excellent judges of characters. They have the innate ability of discerning things, picking out things the ordinary eyes wouldn't see. Like my parents would say, what they can spot out from a sitting position a young man cannot see it even if he climbs a mountain.

The mother giving the girlfriend clothes to wash isn't because the mother is rude or her son too poor to buy a washing machine. She isn't even assessing how well the girl can wash. She is deliberately putting her would be daughter in law on the spot. She's trying to judge the girl's character. Just a flinch from the lady will tell the mom a whole lot about the lady. Even if the lady forces a smile the mom will still take note of the fake smile. That's why most ladies are apprehensive about meeting their would be MILs. Best bet for any lady placed in such situation is to act natural!. Take her as your mom!!!! The lady can even make a joke of the situation by asking the son why he allowed his mom's clothes to pile up this much and saying something like "Im gonna change your name on my phone from Allwility to Lazy Allwility" or stuffs like that. Then wash the clothes and ask if you can join her in the kitchen because by that time the mother would be preparing food for the both of you.

This matter simple sef. My mother assess my friends by the way they eat their food whenever we go visiting her. Very few pass that test.

Talk about assessment centers!!

People seem to have forgotten we are Africans. Back in those days, girls go to the stream to fetch waters for their would be mother in laws and boys work in the farms of their would be father in laws. Of course they don't do it alone, they ask their friends to join them but everyone knows that such acts of love tell about how genuine their intentions are and is a real pointer to their character.

Should we all go back into those days jst to prove our worth. Gone are the days wen wife to be spends 7 days with her would be mother in law jst to prove her worthy of her son or for her to assess. Why putting her on spot? Or judge her character by giving her clothes to wash? Are there no other ways of judging character? We jst like to test people thinking they are JOB mentioned in d bible. Gracias.

pcguru1:
"pcguru your babe is dirty oya wash her pants", and i will carry my big head, fold my arms and sit down and start washing clothes because am instructed by someone am just meeting for the first time because i want to marry, even me repeating this sounds foolish already, whoever agrees to this is a weirdo like KISSCODE

My dear, the thing tire me oooo. Though some people will accept to do that on nairaland, jst to claim nice girl. Is his son d guy in d world? Both of them can as well hug transformer for all I care.

Sorry, didn't mean to sound harsh, jst that I knw u will understand. Gracias.