Please bear with me. The thread is a bit long. This thread is about me and not my friend. (lol)

i honestly need mature advise from the married and matured folks here.

I am in a very serious relationship with this lady. This is our 12th months together and i plan to propose to her in few months time.

I observe that she has hot temper. Each time we had little misunderstanding she flare up and wouldnt calm down for us to resolve and settle it amicably.

Being a gentleman i believe there are no perfect relationships. Quarrels and disagreements must pop up no matter what.

Yesterday we quarreled due to certain issue we had agreed on. I must confess i caused it but i was quick to realise it and apologise but she wouldnt listen. She made an attempt to call a friend of hers to report the issue. I stopped her. She again wanted to call her pastor too i blocked her hands and was surprise why she is inviting third parties to our matter. She was even voicing it out for people to hear us quarreling and i was calming her down to lower her voice.

This lady is the type every man needs. Religious, good cook, prayerful and she gives me advise on so many occasion.

Her parents are late and she was abandoned by her brothers and sisters due to change of religion. I dont know maybe this affected her attitude.

I myself i have my own wrong sides yet i am ready to accept her wrong and hope she do the same to me. But she wouldnt.

I have talked to her about her anger and made her understand that it is not good for us. Yet yesterdays event surprised me.

Please sorry about the long post. I just need advise or advises about how to handle this issue with my woman.

To add she is 23 and i am 29 years.

It is well.. So na you and her pastor go dey marry her now, because finally na the pastor's opinion and decision go dey rule in your marriage with her.
This is not good at all.
Sight other examples of marriages destroyed by her kind of her arbitrary discretion and be firm to let her know that it's better not to go down the aisle this way than have a cold marriage. She will decide to choose. Pastor never settle his own family matter finish talk more of other people's own.
Who agrees with me that the church leaders and pastors has the most issues in their homes?
I am open to critics in case there are any..




FTC
CHOCOLATE CREAM

chocolateme:
It is well

amen sister

Make una no view go na. Your opinion might save a delicate relationship from falling apart.

Now una dey pray make we do marry ooooo.

Always have chilled water or ice around, pour it on her when she gets angry to cool her.
But seriously na this type go report u for ur village meeting if u refuse to eat her food

chocolateme:
It is well.. So ba you and her pastor go dey marry her now, because finally na the pastor opinion and decision go dey rule in your marriage with her.
This is not good at all.

the thing surprise me ooo. I was dumbfounded when she made that move. This is about us. Why r u bringing people into our lives for such a minor issue? I told her this

goodmorning40:
Always have chilled water or ice around, pour it on her when she gets angry to cool her.
But seriously na this type go report u for ur village meeting if u refuse to eat her food

you funny o. How i go do na?

mencade5:


I myself i have my own wrong sides yet i am ready to accept her wrong and hope she do the same to me. But she wouldnt.

Bringing a third party into a relationship is a NO NO.. But then, I would want to know that "wrong side" you want her to accept?

PresVA:
Bringing a third party into a relationship is a NO NO.. But then, I would want to know that "wrong side" you want her to accept?

ok....sometimes i could have this feeling of jealousy when i see her with some other guy talking. She hate it. I have assured her i will stop it which i have been trying to stop.

mencade5:
Please bear with me. The thread is a bit long. This thread is about me and not my friend. (lol)

i honestly need mature advise from the married and matured folks here.

I am in a very serious relationship with this lady. This is our 12th months together and i plan to propose to her in few months time.

I observe that she has hot temper. Each time we had little misunderstanding she flare up and wouldnt calm down for us to resolve and settle it amicably.

Being a gentleman i believe there are no perfect relationships. Quarrels and disagreements must pop up no matter what.

Yesterday we quarreled due to certain issue we had agreed on. I must confess i caused it but i was quick to realise it and apologise but she wouldnt listen. She made an attempt to call a friend of hers to report the issue. I stopped her. She again wanted to call her pastor too i blocked her hands and was surprise why she is inviting third parties to our matter. She was even voicing it out for people to hear us quarreling and i was calming her down to lower her voice.

This lady is the type every man needs. Religious, good cook, prayerful and she gives me advise on so many occasion.

Her parents are late and she was abandoned by her brothers and sisters due to change of religion. I dont know maybe this affected her attitude.

I myself i have my own wrong sides yet i am ready to accept her wrong and hope she do the same to me. But she wouldnt.

I have talked to her about her anger and made her understand that it is not good for us. Yet yesterdays event surprised me.

Please sorry about the long post. I just need advise or advises about how to handle this issue with my woman.

To add she is 23 and i am 29 years.


Lalasticlala i don bring better food o.

Let me advice you as a Junior brother, hold on to that proposal first, till you are sure that she will change, or that you can fully accommodate her anger issues, against all odds. You see, a lot of people do notice some character or attitudinal flaws in their partners during courtship, yet they end up getting married hoping that they can manage it, but they end up getting burnt wishing that union never happened. Anger Is a little fit of madness, it can get dangerous and deadly, as that person at that moment, might not know what he or she is doing. I am telling you from experience, hold on till you are sure, start by telling her plainly that you can't continue with relationship, if she doesn't change. And you, I hope you no be the type wey dey make pesin craze.

I'm happy for you, taking a step in the right direction.

Relationships of any kind is to help each other's weakness.

She may have some underlying pains that tends to trigger this anger, like you said she lost both parents and was abandoned by her brothers and sisters due to change of religion. What type of religion would separate a family? Has she tried to re-unit with them? They are the ones that will still give her out in marriage according to custom. What step has she/u taken to resolve this?

She has not enjoyed parental love or that kind of family love? This she found in you. She is lost and frustrated at the same time. You need to talk more about everything and anything. let her know you are ready to listen and not try to solve all her problems. You are now her father and mother.

As Christians, your foundation should be in the word of God. There are great prophets of God that lost out in God's Blessings because of anger.
Two can only walk together if they agree...

You should both go for counseling

See a therapist if need be.

Think, talk, pray and talk again.

I pray God to help you both in taking the right decision.

it is not your job to treat her. She has a personality disorder and anger is the only way for her to express it.

What she needs is a psychiatrist to help her overcome her anger issues. You aren't qualified enough to offer help. It is even more worse as you play a dominant role in her life and you are mlst times the trigger for her anger episodes. Fact is you aren't suited to really help her effectively.


Visiting a mental health practitioner doesn't have to be only when someone is walking unclad on the streets. She may have chemical imbalances which doubles her anxiety levels that causes such anger episodes and she may be given medications and things to avoid to help her overcome this.

Her own characteristics is even peculiar as she always likes to make a scene by shouting and inviting third parties over. Just a warning to you.... It would aggravate if you continue with her without seeking medical help. She would drag you outside oneday and your neighborhood would have to come settle numerous quarrels .I fear you would spiral out of control one day. Slap her to calm her down or show your superior and things might spiral out of control. It's already happening(You blocking her hands from making phone calls) What wkuld be next? Lock her indoors and wrestle her to the floor so she can't cause a scene?


Truth is, this is not something you overcome in a day. It takes years to undo 20 years of attitude, environment and nature. Stay safe.

Mencade5 finally found love

Congrats ooo

Dyt:
Mencade5 finally found love Congrats ooo

Dyt:
Mencade5 finally found love Congrats ooo

na only u want to dey enjoy fvck abi?
Dont be stingy
hahaha

dyt ayam now a repented ladies basher!

mencade5:
na only u want to dey enjoy fvck abi?

Your pastor must hear this

mencade5:
Yesterday we quarreled due to certain issue we had agreed on. I must confess i caused it but i was quick to realise it and apologise but she wouldnt listen. She made an attempt to call a friend of hers to report the issue. I stopped her. She again wanted to call her pastor too i blocked her hands and was surprise why she is inviting third parties to our matter. She was even voicing it out for people to hear us quarreling and i was calming her down to lower her voice.

pls can you give us more detail of the above, in order to have a better idea of the situation.

mencade5:
na only u want to dey enjoy fvck abi?

Dont be stingy

hahaha


dyt ayam now a repented ladies basher!

Abasi!

Mencade, for real? Hmmmm

chimkaire:
Abasi!
Mencade, for real? Hmmmm

chimkare ofcourse ayam now a change person.

mencade5:
chimkare
ofcourse ayam now a change person.

Okay

Mencade5, you seem to value this relationship more than she does, if that's true, you're at a distinct disadvantage.

Secondly, if you insist on proceeding with your proposal you must realise that your best line of action is accepting this flaw of hers and living with her as she is. You can only hope, and this might be major wishful thinking, that she changes. There's no guarantee that she will, make up your mind, to accept her as she is or find someone else.

Suggest exercising, karate, judo, taekwondo to let off steam. Everybody has anger issues, we just have different ways of dealing with it. Help her find healthy ways of dealing with it

If you guys get married without settling the anger issues, I hope not to read your story on the front page...reference the IB guy that was stabbed in the neck by his 'lovely' wife

Bros you cannot curtail anger o,don't be deceived na only prayer fit help

Op,I'll advise you to hold on with the proposal for now,have a heart to heart talk with her, for all you know she might be going through some psychological problems but if she doesn't change after the "talk" then walk away!!

I wish I could give you advise but I'm terribly angry now myself.

Lmao. So mencade5 finally found a Nigerian lady that's not a hoe and a feminist?

Bros no advice for you. Marry her like that. The next one might be worse.

cococandy:
Lmao. So mencade5 finally found a Nigerian lady that's not a hoe and a feminist?

Bros no advice for you. Marry her like that. The next one might be worse.

na where all these wicked girls dey comot from sef?

cococandy i go marry one of una na. All these nigerian hoes sef with their wahala.
Hahaha

shaiba:
I'm happy for you, taking a step in the right direction.

Relationships of any kind is to help each other's weakness.

She may have some underlying pains that tends to trigger this anger, like you said she lost both parents and was abandoned by her brothers and sisters due to change of religion. What type of religion would separate a family? Has she tried to re-unit with them? They are the ones that will still give her out in marriage according to custom. What step has she/u taken to resolve this?

She has not enjoyed parental love or that kind of family love? This she found in you. She is lost and frustrated at the same time. You need to talk more about everything and anything. let her know you are ready to listen and not try to solve all her problems. You are now her father and mother.

As Christians, your foundation should be in the word of God. There are great prophets of God that lost out in God's Blessings because of anger.
Two can only walk together if they agree...

You should both go for counseling

See a therapist if need be.

Think, talk, pray and talk again.

I pray God to help you both in taking the right decision.

She also has to realise that, it's a problem and she is ready and willing to solve it

mencade5:
na where all these wicked girls dey comot from sef?

cococandy i go marry one of una na. All these nigerian hoes sef with their wahala.
Hahaha

@bold so you been know before?

One would have thought your bride would come from Mars.

Brother DO NOT ignore any RED FLAG of anykind that you cannot live with. Nothing will change! People rarely change, there is a man somewhere who can contain that anger perfectly, let her find peace with su h a man. As for you never try to manage an attitude/ Character hoping it will change with time when married, brother it only gets worse.
Let him who has ears hear what the spirit says.

Op

U go tell her ni


Before she go beat u one day

.