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Is Marriage A Goal And Dream Killer? - Romance (2) - Nairaland

Nairaland ForumNairaland GeneralRomanceIs Marriage A Goal And Dream Killer? (3574 Views)

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Re: Is Marriage A Goal And Dream Killer? by Josephamstrong1(op): 5:38pm On Mar 21, 2016
cruzita:
a man with N50,000 monthly salary can run a home if he makes use of it well
u much ryt if d wife has smtn doin'... no matter hw little.
buh don't really tnk so if dat's to b d opposite.
Re: Is Marriage A Goal And Dream Killer? by Josephamstrong1(op): 5:40pm On Mar 21, 2016
Smellymouth:
Look as far as i'm concerned this topic brings in different sub-topics.

i personally believe that being rich is a mentality & planning in one's life should be utmost!. There is no amount of salary u collect, if u've not got what is binding enough to sustain ur marriage it will still collapse. If not, why is it dat some people u know that have enough money or u know their income is awesomely large still have finance problems or other problems at that. Even if u earn 500k per month, once u don't have the other things that makes a marriage tick, it will still head for the rocks. Why are we children of nowadays so money conscious. We know very well that our parents of then barely had enough funds yet managed resources together & sent us to school, even to their own detriment, yet they are content & happy.

I personally believe that no matter where u are, u are always in a position of envy to another person. Some people earn very low income yet u wonder how they managed resources to purchase somethings. (PLANNING & A GOOD WIFE)

I think the question here is greed. Even if we start earning that money we are aspiring to get, our taste moves up. we hear "i need to get that house in V.G.C" why? will u die if u don't have the house? i think being content is another solid factor.

Pardon me to say to the guys that some of u want to impress the ladies u intend marrying or u hope to meet that's why u are hoping to get to a particular class. What ever happened to those ladies u met while at school ready to be there for u thru thick & thin. Moreover when the money comes don't some of u later feel the girl u once had no more fits in? Dat's why we see lots of "made guys" still looking for a wiffy..
Talkin' sense.
# ovation
Re: Is Marriage A Goal And Dream Killer? by Josephamstrong1(op): 5:41pm On Mar 21, 2016
halfricanadian:
Yes if only u marry d wrong person ooo
#concur
Re: Is Marriage A Goal And Dream Killer? by Josephamstrong1(op): 5:43pm On Mar 21, 2016
Vinshu:
A man's duty is to provide for his family isn't it? So how does the woman's employment have a part to play? The woman may* decide* to get a job and share her income with her husband but it's the man's duty whether she has a job or not.

So I repeat, her employment doesn't matter. A man s to provide for his family whether or not the wife is employed.
Dat ain't ryt
Re: Is Marriage A Goal And Dream Killer? by Josephamstrong1(op): 5:48pm On Mar 21, 2016
Verbalist:
.1 I guess the reasons vary. Likely financial limitations, still searching for the ideal partner, disillusioned with the massive failure of the marriage institution as shown by the high number of divorces, infidelity and domestic violence, etc


.2 No age is good enough. You settle down when YOU ARE READY.


.3 Depends on you. If you earn enough to pay the .
basic bills, you can run a home


.4 If she ticks the other boxes, you can marry her. She's a potential golden goose and will surely start popping the golden eggs once she clinches a job
Tnkz Holmes
#word
Re: Is Marriage A Goal And Dream Killer? by joeace2020(m): 5:58pm On Mar 21, 2016
Vinshu:
1. Men marry late because they just want to enjoy the single life

2. Why would a man get married without income? Ha

3. A man's income must be able to satisfy himself and extra 2 people (at least) conveniently before getting married.

4. Why would a woman with an Msc not have a job? However her employment status doesn't mean anything in marriage it's that of the man that matters
kramfonos:
Aha! Like the average, disillusioned feminist, you'd always shoot yourself in the foot!

So, dear feminist, you campaign for gender equality but you reiterate that the requisites for marriage for a man should surpass a woman's? It's alright for a prospective wive to be jobless but it doesn't apply to a man because, in essence, it's a man's job to provide while a woman might bring nothing to the table? What's good for the goose isn't good for the gander?

So much for gender equality!

Ladies and gentlemen, dudes and lasses, boys and girls, I present to you all Miss Hypocrisy 2016!

Take a bow, woman. You really are shameless in your display of double standards.
Now this one will come out and say 'i am a feminist' without the faintest idea of what feminism is. Everything i saw was a man should be this and should be that, then at the end 'why should a women be this'? They think feminism means making a case for the woman to be treated like a queen whose feet must not touch the ground but end up contradicting themselves ranting that the man should be zeus...What confusion.
Re: Is Marriage A Goal And Dream Killer? by MUVA(m): 6:01pm On Mar 21, 2016
kramfonos:
Of recent you've been mentioning me on marriage-related threads? Why do you want to get me off the 'market' quickly? So you'd have all the remaining girls to yourself? cheesy

After you, sir. As a matter of urgency, you MUST get married this year or... cheesy
LMAO I wasn't even checking cheesy


Well, this has got nothing to do with marriage cheesy

What mail addy is best to reach you on?? Need to discuss smthn.
Re: Is Marriage A Goal And Dream Killer? by Nobody: 6:02pm On Mar 21, 2016
Verbalist:
By which analysis did you conclude say a family of 4 can't survive on 50k monthly please?

Beats me


huh huh
Please see my initial comment. I broke down the pricing on family of 3. Let alone 4.

Can 50k pay school fees of 2 children? Can 50k monthly pay all d bills and still put GOOD food on the table of 4 people? Every morning afternoon and night? Standard living? When dollar is 323? Cost of things are high. New electricity tariff... and so on.

Let's be honest. Let's fight poverty. If you don't marry you won't die. Have a good income before getting married. #Simple.

Ah ah 50k and Nigeria is ranking on poverty scale why won't it rank?
Re: Is Marriage A Goal And Dream Killer? by Vinshu(f): 6:07pm On Mar 21, 2016
All what you wrote makes no sense.

A man is to provide for his family. Why is that hard for you to accept? Your epistle does not change your duty as a man. Ok a woman should provide for you? Besides did i complain to you, that men don't marry on time?

You know nothing about me or my personality so get lost with your opinions I did not mention anyone in my comment. If you don't like it, good for you.

kramfonos:
Such presupposition! Your postulation is as untenable as a bounced cheque.

Men want peace of mind, a home to lay our heads and our privacy being respected when we want to.

Men are scared of the increasing possessiveness of today's wives. She wants to know everything you do, she nags, she prioritizes are side of the extended family over yours and she wants the map of your daily itinerary while she wouldn't give half her privacy to you.

Sometimes, even though we'd eventually marry, we just want to enjoy that peace a little longer while we find the few women who'd ensure that peace.




Trust me, we'd heard that a gazillion times. Turn down the volume of that music!

You ask us to be rich before approaching your gender but you blame us to spending time acquiring that wealth 'cause while we're at it, you're getting older? Confused lots members of your gender are!




Yeah! Like we don't know that. Funny how this doesn't apply to a woman.



Aha! Like the average, disillusioned feminist, you'd always shoot yourself in the foot!

So, dear feminist, you campaign for gender equality but you reiterate that the requisites for marriage for a man should surpass a woman's? It's alright for a prospective wive to be jobless but it doesn't apply to a man because, in essence, it's a man's job to provide while a woman might bring nothing to the table? What's good for the goose isn't good for the gander?

So much for gender equality!

Ladies and gentlemen, dudes and lasses, boys and girls, I present to you all Miss Hypocrisy 2016!

Take a bow, woman. You really are shameless in your display of double standards.
Re: Is Marriage A Goal And Dream Killer? by Nobody: 6:12pm On Mar 21, 2016
I wonder what is wrong with some men. You are to provide for your family not the other way around. A woman telling that how does that make her feminist? Where in her post did she clamor for equality? She said what a man is to do.

Na wa o I don't understand.

Besides most feminist say that because since men don't grant them that equality why should they now be equal in providing for family?it simple logic. I don't know the reason for all this your story.

kramfonos:
Such presupposition! Your postulation is as untenable as a bounced cheque.
Men want peace of mind, a home to lay our heads and our privacy being respected when we want to.
Men are scared of the increasing possessiveness of today's wives. She wants to know everything you do, she nags, she prioritizes are side of the extended family over yours and she wants the map of your daily itinerary while she wouldn't give half her privacy to you.
Sometimes, even though we'd eventually marry, we just want to enjoy that peace a little longer while we find the few women who'd ensure that peace.

Trust me, we'd heard that a gazillion times. Turn down the volume of that music!
You ask us to be rich before approaching your gender but you blame us to spending time acquiring that wealth 'cause while we're at it, you're getting older? Confused lots members of your gender are!

Yeah! Like we don't know that. Funny how this doesn't apply to a woman.
Aha! Like the average, disillusioned feminist, you'd always shoot yourself in the foot!
So, dear feminist, you campaign for gender equality but you reiterate that the requisites for marriage for a man should surpass a woman's? It's alright for a prospective wive to be jobless but it doesn't apply to a man because, in essence, it's a man's job to provide while a woman might bring nothing to the table? What's good for the goose isn't good for the gander?
So much for gender equality!
Ladies and gentlemen, dudes and lasses, boys and girls, I present to you all Miss Hypocrisy 2016!
Take a bow, woman. You really are shameless in your display of double standards.
Re: Is Marriage A Goal And Dream Killer? by Vinshu(f): 6:13pm On Mar 21, 2016
coolsix:
I wonder what is wrong with some men. You are to provide for your family not the other way around. A woman telling that how does that make her feminist? Where in her post did she clamor for equality? She said what a man is to do.

Na wa o I don't understand.

Besides most feminist say that because since men don't grant them that equality why should they now be equal in providing for family?it simple logic. I don't know the reason for all this your story.
Please tell him. Good thing you are a man.

When they are told a truth of 4 lines they reply with 300 lines epistle.

*walks out of thread *
Re: Is Marriage A Goal And Dream Killer? by Vinshu(f): 6:17pm On Mar 21, 2016
Josephamstrong1:
Dat ain't ryt
Why?
Re: Is Marriage A Goal And Dream Killer? by Verbalist(m): 6:22pm On Mar 21, 2016
coolsix:
Please see my initial comment. I broke down the pricing on family of 3. Let alone 4.

Can 50k pay school fees of 2 children? Can 50k monthly pay all d bills and still put GOOD food on the table of 4 people? Every morning afternoon and night? Standard living? When dollar is 323? Cost of things are high. New electricity tariff... and so on.

Let's be honest. Let's fight poverty. If you don't marry you won't die. Have a good income before getting married. #Simple.

Ah ah 50k and Nigeria is ranking on poverty scale why won't it rank?
LMAO @ Let's fight poverty... by encouraging the poor to stay away from marriage. How convenient?


I wish I can show you the salary schedules of many State Government and LG parastatals. People earning as low as N26k and been owed 4 months salaries still pulling through.



6k for rent for a 2 room apartment

25k for feeding

5k for Transportation and Electricity

Government school. 5k for any miscellaneous school expense

9k for other sundry expenses.



It's a tough one. But many people are doing fine.
Re: Is Marriage A Goal And Dream Killer? by Josephamstrong1(op): 6:38pm On Mar 21, 2016
Vinshu:
Why?
I tell u wat.
u've heard dz litany..."takes two to tango"
It takes nt juz d man to run a home. He is d head, u d neck. u juz like d pillar. wat if d man losses hiz job or no More?
Can't u stl cater for ya kids and bills?
Don't kw ya name buh I'll tell u 4free dat wives r to b helper, financially, spiritually, morally and otherwise. In fact it's a must do for her to bring smtn to d table provided she's workin'.
it's nt ya ryt or option. no argument. u don't nid to b reminded dat u're thr to support.
don't want to bliv u a feminist.
Dat's most rsn y Westerners practice gender equality.
Do I forget to tell u dat Dangote's wife brings smtn to d table too... make a call thru and confirm... lol.
Re: Is Marriage A Goal And Dream Killer? by smileysmiley(f): 6:48pm On Mar 21, 2016
Vinshu:
1. Men marry late because they just want to enjoy the single life

2. Why would a man get married without income? Ha

3. A man's income must be able to satisfy himself and extra 2 people (at least) conveniently before getting married.

4. Why would a woman with an Msc not have a job? However her employment status doesn't mean anything in marriage it's that of the man that matters
you are the reason these guys keep bashing girls, why will a lady have a masters and not use it and you say it doesn't matterhuh It doesn't matter if the guy is ok with it but if he isn't, she had better dust that thing and hit the streets in search of a job.
Re: Is Marriage A Goal And Dream Killer? by Nobody: 7:17pm On Mar 21, 2016
Verbalist:
LMAO @ Let's fight poverty... by encouraging the poor to stay away from marriage. How convenient?


I wish I can show you the salary schedules of many State Government and LG parastatals. People earning as low as N26k and been owed 4 months salaries still pulling through.



6k for rent for a 2 room apartment

25k for feeding

5k for Transportation and Electricity

Government school. 5k for any miscellaneous school expense

9k for other sundry expenses.



It's a tough one. But many people are doing fine.
So you want to give birth to a child only for the child to regret coming to the world? Your child going to government poor shallow schools? Seriously? 6k for 2 room apartment in Nigeria? Lagos? Or just some 2 room slum?

25k for feeding?I laugh unless u wàna eat 1nce a day. Why suffer the children? They did not beg to come to the world na. cry
Re: Is Marriage A Goal And Dream Killer? by Vinshu(f): 7:21pm On Mar 21, 2016
Tell me what bills a woman has? You are the hypocrite here. Mention the bills of a woman in her marital home?
kramfonos:
Oh but you are...a two-faced, scheming hypocrite.

Granted, men are suppose to be financially stable before considering marriage but how dare you imply that an unemployed woman can be excused if she decides to settle down. In essence, a man is suppose to take care of her bills till she finds a job or not. She should lay her financial burdens on a man on one hand and be treated as an equal in the same vein.

I have an issue with you excusing away a prospective wives joblessness. If you're a jobless woman, you have no business marrying. Share the bills!

Goal-post-shifting, quasi-gyno-supremacist!
Re: Is Marriage A Goal And Dream Killer? by Vinshu(f): 7:24pm On Mar 21, 2016
smileysmiley:
you are the reason these guys keep bashing girls, why will a lady have a masters and not use it and you say it doesn't matterhuh It doesn't matter if the guy is ok with it but if he isn't, she had better dust that thing and hit the streets in search of a job.
In your bid to get likes from some men you have made no sense.

Where in my comment did I mention it that it doesn't matter if a woman has an Msc and not have a job? I said her employment status doesn't matter in marriage because it's a man's job to cater for the family financially. So what's the ish? I never mentioned that she should put her personal bills on the man.
Re: Is Marriage A Goal And Dream Killer? by Vinshu(f): 7:28pm On Mar 21, 2016
Josephamstrong1:
I tell u wat.
u've heard dz litany..."takes two to tango"
It takes nt juz d man to run a home. He is d head, u d neck. u juz like d pillar. wat if d man losses hiz job or no More?
Can't u stl cater for ya kids and bills?
Don't kw ya name buh I'll tell u 4free dat wives r to b helper, financially, spiritually, morally and otherwise. In fact it's a must do for her to bring smtn to d table provided she's workin'.
it's nt ya ryt or option. no argument. u don't nid to b reminded dat u're thr to support.
don't want to bliv u a feminist.
Dat's most rsn y Westerners practice gender equality.
Do I forget to tell u dat Dangote's wife brings smtn to d table too... make a call thru and confirm... lol.
I thought you guys don't want gender equality? I thought men are the head and the superior? Yet you want to share the bills? Hypocrites.

A man should provide for his family. Even your bible says so.!
Re: Is Marriage A Goal And Dream Killer? by Vinshu(f): 7:36pm On Mar 21, 2016
kramfonos:
Hogwash!

She uses electricity.

She uses water.

There's mortgage or rent for the house the occupies.

When kids start popping out, there'd be school fees, healthcare expenses, feeding, transportation... The list is endless.


Since you claim men and women are equal, those bills should be split between the husband and wife. How then can she pay up her part when she's unemployed?

So much for feminism. No right-thinking man should marry an unemployed woman.
This guy..

You are putting fingers in my mouth. Did I tell you men and women are equal? Can you be less annoying? I answered the op question and you have extracted over a hundred things I did not say. Are you ok? Are you looking for likes or what?

Electricity, water are to be settled by the man since he is the head! He is the provider. Ok a woman should pay for the electricity and water? Ok she should pay the children school fees? Ooh I understand now.

Women, pay the bills! It's your expense!
Re: Is Marriage A Goal And Dream Killer? by Verbalist(m): 7:37pm On Mar 21, 2016
kramfonos:
Hogwash!

She uses electricity.

She uses water.

There's mortgage or rent for the house the occupies.

When kids start popping out, there'd be school fees, healthcare expenses, feeding, transportation... The list is endless.


Since you claim men and women are equal, those bills should be split between the husband and wife. How then can she pay up her part when she's unemployed?

So much for feminism. No right-thinking man should marry an unemployed woman.
What about men of means that ask their wives to quit their jobs and man the homes?


Calm down, dude.


No right thinking man should expect his wife to "share the bills". She can support him occasionally.



It is still the man's duty to provide for his household.
Re: Is Marriage A Goal And Dream Killer? by Vinshu(f): 7:38pm On Mar 21, 2016
kramfonos:
Any woman who expects a man to foot her bills has no right to crave an equal status in the relationship with him. She's below him. She should be at his beck and call. She owes the bread she nibbles to him 'cause he 'wins' it.
Nonsense..

She was alive before you married her. She was paying bills. So don't transfer your bill to your wife. Be a man not an Infidel.
Re: Is Marriage A Goal And Dream Killer? by Vinshu(f): 7:55pm On Mar 21, 2016
kramfonos:
I am judging you based on the reply you gave _Tallesty1 on this thread. You stated outrightly that you are a feminist!

Heck! Feminists advocate for equality. They see themselves as men's equals.

I I can only foot the bills of a woman who knows her place - as a being under my authority as her leader, her head.



[⚓
And did my post say women should accept your leadership? Ha. I said you should foot bills.
Re: Is Marriage A Goal And Dream Killer? by Verbalist(m): 8:04pm On Mar 21, 2016
kramfonos:
Good. Then no right-thinking woman should think herself an equal of the man.

If you think you're my equal, then we'd share the bills equally.
LOOOOL. So its just about the bills? Will you sit @ home and nurse the kids and answer her 'Ma' if she elects to foot the whole bills? grin grin grin cheesy



No Man and Woman in a union are equal. Two captains can't man a ship successively. Someone, in this instance the man, has to take charge of the reins of leadership.


That doesn't make the woman a lesser being nor does it make her a slave. She still has a crucial role to play in the union/house
Re: Is Marriage A Goal And Dream Killer? by smileysmiley(f):
lipsrsealed
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