From experience, those anger issues might only get worst after marriage.
Halt the marriage thing first.
Better t have a broken relationship than have a boring marriage.

mencade5:
Please bear with me. The thread is a bit long. This thread is about me and not my friend. (lol)

i honestly need mature advise from the married and matured folks here.

I am in a very serious relationship with this lady. This is our 12th months together and i plan to propose to her in few months time.

I observe that she has hot temper. Each time we had little misunderstanding she flare up and wouldnt calm down for us to resolve and settle it amicably.

Being a gentleman i believe there are no perfect relationships. Quarrels and disagreements must pop up no matter what.

Yesterday we quarreled due to certain issue we had agreed on. I must confess i caused it but i was quick to realise it and apologise but she wouldnt listen. She made an attempt to call a friend of hers to report the issue. I stopped her. She again wanted to call her pastor too i blocked her hands and was surprise why she is inviting third parties to our matter. She was even voicing it out for people to hear us quarreling and i was calming her down to lower her voice.

This lady is the type every man needs. Religious, good cook, prayerful and she gives me advise on so many occasion.

Her parents are late and she was abandoned by her brothers and sisters due to change of religion. I dont know maybe this affected her attitude.

I myself i have my own wrong sides yet i am ready to accept her wrong and hope she do the same to me. But she wouldnt.

I have talked to her about her anger and made her understand that it is not good for us. Yet yesterdays event surprised me.

Please sorry about the long post. I just need advise or advises about how to handle this issue with my woman.

To add she is 23 and i am 29 years.

Nope, I don't need that type in my life.

Op. You have got to know that nobody is perfect before marriage. And if 'the two shall become one'. It means u have got to mold each other to suit urself. Do u know it's on u too to work on urself to suit/accomodate/contain the anger fit, that's what marriage does.
So the ability to work on containing this issue, determines if you can agree as a couple. She is still young and impulsive. Show her direction. Every attitude has an underlying cause, find it and give her better and civil ways to express her emotion.
Read making marriage work by Joyce Meyer.

MARKone:


Let me advice you as a Junior brother, hold on to that proposal first, till you are sure that she will change, or that you can fully accommodate her anger issues, against all odds. You see, a lot of people do notice some character or attitudinal flaws in their partners during courtship, yet they end up getting married hoping that they can manage it, but they end up getting burnt wishing that union never happened. Anger Is a little fit of madness, it can get dangerous and deadly, as that person at that moment, might not know what he or she is doing. I am telling you from experience, hold on till you are sure, start by telling her plainly that you can't continue with relationship, if she doesn't change. And you, I hope you no be the type wey dey make pesin craze.

I'm with you on your opinion buh beg to differ on a view u had.....please don't let her know getting married to her depend on that issue else she ll fake it till she marry you....sit her down....make her understand the place of SORRY,PLEASE....that a soft tongue turns away anger n a grievous one stir it up.... start by telling her she should define a purpose for everything she does! "is she trying to solve the issue or escalate it" make her understand that she can only solve issues when there is understanding on solving issues with her partner....and d fact remains it can't ll be solved by bringing in third party buh it ll only escalate it......m currently facing d same issue with my gf tho not upto your buh she gets angry on unnecessary things...and I broke up with a girl too Cuz she nags n uses negative words when we have misunderstanding.....lastly I ll advice you not to marry any woman that you know u can't cope with her WORST side

Any partner be it male or female with anger issues enough to flare or raise voices constantly at thw other or discuss issues with third party has personal issues and ego. its common with our independent ladies,notice most without good relationship or late marriages are blessed with this habit or younger ladies in most pentecostal churches who are independent.Usually they believe its a way of survival, even your most private is discussed amongst friends that is if they have or a religious figure who counsel them almost weekly.
No man would tell his fellow man to put away his woman but my dear consider you're not married and it could be rhis,what happens after pains of first Labour or second as we know not many woman contain their personality afterĺ.
Another error I think is you dnt let a partner advice you on everything, its only way you gain some respect rather than seem clueless over time. Some would have said enforce ur manliness or cure her but there is no guarantee it would bring peace not even sure leaving would give u better but prayerfully take a decision and if possible slow on plans on marriage till events take better shape as in you both overcome this.But never overlook pointers before marriage, it comes to bite.
First attempt to seat her down and list things ur nt comfortable with and let her list hers and each promise to amend and see how that works but dnt be deceived.
Finally if your the type that complain at slight chance pls remember even the Bible said its in a man's honor to overlook an offence. but this doesnt mean u should not be creative to correct a partner without nagging or seeming weak
Goodluck

Tombilly:
whenever she starts nagging just pull her wit force close yo yourself as if you wanna deal with her, then give her a soul crushing kiss that will melt her body and soul ...after that look her in the eyes and say baby you know I love you? when she will be thinking of saying yes I know the anger will metamorphose into love..... try it and thank me later.

Bro don't be consumed by NOLLYWOOD movies.....you can't always do ACT that....sometimes you're saying d unpalatable sorry just to let peace reign.....you too might be furiously angry buh u faked all is well for by not exhibiting it for peace to reign

Call the Nigerian Army guys
they are good at beating women

here:
Any partner be it male or female with anger issues enough to flare or raise voices constantly at thw other or discuss issues with third party has personal issues and ego. its common with our independent ladies,notice most without good relationship or late marriages are blessed with this habit or younger ladies in most pentecostal churches who are independent.Usually they believe its a way of survival, even your most private is discussed amongst friends that is if they have or a religious figure who counsel them almost weekly.
No man would tell his fellow man to put away his woman but my dear consider you're not married and it could be rhis,what happens after pains of first Labour or second as we know not many woman contain their personality afterĺ.
Another error I think is you dnt let a partner advice you on everything, its only way you gain some respect rather than seem clueless over time. Some would have said enforce ur manliness or cure her but there is no guarantee it would bring peace not even sure leaving would give u better but prayerfully take a decision and if possible slow on plans on marriage till events take better shape as in you both overcome this.But never overlook pointers before marriage, it comes to bite.
First attempt to seat her down and list things ur nt comfortable with and let her list hers and each promise to amend and see how that works but dnt be deceived.
Finally if your the type that complain at slight chance pls remember even the Bible said its in a man's honor to overlook an offence. but this doesnt mean u should not be creative to correct a partner without nagging or seeming weak
Goodluck

Bro I ll need you to purge your mindset on certain things
1. That independent ladies always have attitude problem.....it not Cuz they are independent buh u chose to c it that way...that means if your wife eventually make money than you do.....you ll attribute all her misbehaviour to her financial level? WRONG bro.....the only thing is that they feel free to make their minds known...unlike a wife that's a liability even if d marriage is he'll for her she won't give a sound Cuz she know when ure pissed u myt starve her of financial benefits

2. Taking advice from woman: men have FORESIGHT while women have INSIGHT....when working towards a GOAL both must be considered....thats y d bible said two shall become one...n d saying behind every successful man there us a woman

Neverquit:
Nitefury!!!!!! Je salue. Travail génial sur Le Cartel.

Merci Milady. Malheureusement, je n'avais en pause lorsque j'ai perdu mon téléphone. J'espère que vous êtes en train de faire une grande?

My dear brother let me candid with u am married ok. That her anger when you eventually marry her will still destroy the union
pls pls pls don't go ahead with the proposal a word is enough for the wise.

Just propose and always wear armored pants before going to bed.

mencade5:
the thing surprise me ooo. I was dumbfounded when she made that move. This is about us. Why r u bringing people into our lives for such a minor issue? I told her this

Though age does not determine one's maturity and experience but in this case your lady is lacking in the two, kids shouldn't get married if they have not the required experience and knowledge to raise a happy home. You should buy books on marriage for her, buy tapes on raising a happy home/marriage .
From your part you're wanting in Biblical knowledge because you aren't complementing her in that area. The truth is, she has biblical knowledge but lacks Biblical wisdom, which is disastrous if lacking.
Do not propose yet until you make her wise up the more and she learns to settle issues with you only. At this point use your brain and not your heart. it's well bro

[quote author=shaiba post=43941425]I'm happy for you, taking a step in the right direction.

Relationships of any kind is to help each other's weakness.

She may have some underlying pains that tends to trigger this anger, like you said she lost both parents and was abandoned by her brothers and sisters due to change of religion. What type of religion would separate a family? Has she tried to re-unit with them? They are the ones that will still give her out in marriage according to custom. What step has she/u taken to resolve this?

She has not enjoyed parental love or that kind of family love? This she found in you. She is lost and frustrated at the same time. You need to talk more about everything and anything. let her know you are ready to listen and not try to solve all her problems. You are now her father and mother.

As Christians, your foundation should be in the word of God. There are great prophets of God that lost out in God's Blessings because of anger.
Two can only walk together if they agree...

You should both go for counseling

See a therapist if need be.

Think, talk, pray and talk again.

I pray God to help you both in taking the right decisions .

remember anger is like a knife with no handle...it cuts both ways

She's still within that Gara-Gara age naaa (20-25 years) . At that age bracket, we de form well, we behave like divas and Princess. I would have advised you allow her to clock 26 years first before starting anything concrete but.... na you get yourself shaa

mencade5:
Please bear with me. The thread is a bit long. This thread is about me and not my friend. (lol)

i honestly need mature advise from the married and matured folks here.

I am in a very serious relationship with this lady. This is our 12th months together and i plan to propose to her in few months time.

I observe that she has hot temper. Each time we had little misunderstanding she flare up and wouldnt calm down for us to resolve and settle it amicably.

Being a gentleman i believe there are no perfect relationships. Quarrels and disagreements must pop up no matter what.

Yesterday we quarreled due to certain issue we had agreed on. I must confess i caused it but i was quick to realise it and apologise but she wouldnt listen. She made an attempt to call a friend of hers to report the issue. I stopped her. She again wanted to call her pastor too i blocked her hands and was surprise why she is inviting third parties to our matter. She was even voicing it out for people to hear us quarreling and i was calming her down to lower her voice.

This lady is the type every man needs. Religious, good cook, prayerful and she gives me advise on so many occasion.

Her parents are late and she was abandoned by her brothers and sisters due to change of religion. I dont know maybe this affected her attitude.

I myself i have my own wrong sides yet i am ready to accept her wrong and hope she do the same to me. But she wouldnt.

I have talked to her about her anger and made her understand that it is not good for us. Yet yesterdays event surprised me.

Please sorry about the long post. I just need advise or advises about how to handle this issue with my woman.

To add she is 23 and i am 29 years.

If she has anger issues,think abt it well cause you would have read stories of wives that kill their husbands,the man can never believe it even if he was told...take your time bro,anger is destructive..God help you

mencade5:
Please bear with me. The thread is a bit long. This thread is about me and not my friend. (lol)

i honestly need mature advise from the married and matured folks here.

I am in a very serious relationship with this lady. This is our 12th months together and i plan to propose to her in few months time.

I observe that she has hot temper. Each time we had little misunderstanding she flare up and wouldnt calm down for us to resolve and settle it amicably.

Being a gentleman i believe there are no perfect relationships. Quarrels and disagreements must pop up no matter what.

Yesterday we quarreled due to certain issue we had agreed on. I must confess i caused it but i was quick to realise it and apologise but she wouldnt listen. She made an attempt to call a friend of hers to report the issue. I stopped her. She again wanted to call her pastor too i blocked her hands and was surprise why she is inviting third parties to our matter. She was even voicing it out for people to hear us quarreling and i was calming her down to lower her voice.

This lady is the type every man needs. Religious, good cook, prayerful and she gives me advise on so many occasion.

Her parents are late and she was abandoned by her brothers and sisters due to change of religion. I dont know maybe this affected her attitude.

I myself i have my own wrong sides yet i am ready to accept her wrong and hope she do the same to me. But she wouldnt.

I have talked to her about her anger and made her understand that it is not good for us. Yet yesterdays event surprised me.

Please sorry about the long post. I just need advise or advises about how to handle this issue with my woman.

To add she is 23 and i am 29 years.

if u really want her and like her to be your wife,you should start praying for her. Prayer changes things.

bigtt76:
She's still within that Gara-Gara age naaa (20-25 years) . At that age bracket, we de form well, we behave like divas and Princess. I would have advised you allow her to clock 26 years first before starting anything concrete but.... na you get yourself shaa

quite sensible.

Montaque:
Op. You have got to know that nobody is perfect before marriage. And if 'the two shall become one'. It means u have got to mold each other to suit urself. Do u know it's on u too to work on urself to suit/accomodate/contain the anger fit, that's what marriage does.
So the ability to work on containing this issue, determines if you can agree as a couple. She is still young and impulsive. Show her direction. Every attitude has an underlying cause, find it and give her better and civil ways to express her emotion.
Read making marriage work by Joyce Meyer.

RUBBISH!

can you change a drunker within a day!

if you are in a relationship that require working on one's character it only takes the grace of God to change some certain types of character. this one is anger management and when one can't control his/her Anger, something bad is about to happen.

thank God he haven't married her yet and the only solution I see apart from beating her up to control her anger is to leave her and let her regret her mistake but it will be too late for her. WOMEN who are sounded in both mind and character are everywhere! let him go and look for a better WOMAN and stop wasting his time before this get out of hand.

mencade5:
na only u want to dey enjoy fvck abi?
Dont be stingy
hahaha

dyt ayam now a repented ladies basher!

Na Bleep make you wan marry?

mencade5:
Please bear with me. The thread is a bit long. This thread is about me and not my friend. (lol)

i honestly need mature advise from the married and matured folks here.

I am in a very serious relationship with this lady. This is our 12th months together and i plan to propose to her in few months time.

I observe that she has hot temper. Each time we had little misunderstanding she flare up and wouldnt calm down for us to resolve and settle it amicably.

Being a gentleman i believe there are no perfect relationships. Quarrels and disagreements must pop up no matter what.

Yesterday we quarreled due to certain issue we had agreed on. I must confess i caused it but i was quick to realise it and apologise but she wouldnt listen. She made an attempt to call a friend of hers to report the issue. I stopped her. She again wanted to call her pastor too i blocked her hands and was surprise why she is inviting third parties to our matter. She was even voicing it out for people to hear us quarreling and i was calming her down to lower her voice.

This lady is the type every man needs. Religious, good cook, prayerful and she gives me advise on so many occasion.

Her parents are late and she was abandoned by her brothers and sisters due to change of religion. I dont know maybe this affected her attitude.

I myself i have my own wrong sides yet i am ready to accept her wrong and hope she do the same to me. But she wouldnt.

I have talked to her about her anger and made her understand that it is not good for us. Yet yesterdays event surprised me.

Please sorry about the long post. I just need advise or advises about how to handle this issue with my woman.

To add she is 23 and i am 29 years.

Do not marry a lady from pity. I sense it in your post

with my own little knowledge you are too soft on her that's why she will always call people people to interfere. am not saying you should start beating your wife, but they are somethings you shouldn't take as a man forget love and face reality. except if you are scared of her. they are somethings she will do just bone and hold your lane tight so she can understand realize her own mistake, it's not everything you will admit in the name of love. .. PLEASE "DO NOT BEAT YOUR WIFE OR FIANCEE, SOMETIMES IT'S not good to be too cold for women, sometimes you need to show small madness for them make comport. am not perfect.

mykel25:


Bro I ll need you to purge your mindset on certain things
1. That independent ladies always have attitude problem.....it not Cuz they are independent buh u chose to c it that way...that means if your wife eventually make money than you do.....you ll attribute all her misbehaviour to her financial level? WRONG bro.....the only thing is that they feel free to make their minds known...unlike a wife that's a liability even if d marriage is he'll for her she won't give a sound Cuz she know when ure pissed u myt starve her of financial benefits

2. Taking advice from woman: men have FORESIGHT while women have INSIGHT....when working towards a GOAL both must be considered....[n]thats y d bible said two shall become one...n d saying behind every successful man there us a woman[/b]

that verse is literally talking about your mother but not of your wife or wife to be.

if what you are saying, that means once can put it this way "every unsuccessful man there is a woman who cause his downfall"

mencade5:
Please bear with me. The thread is a bit long. This thread is about me and not my friend. (lol)

i honestly need mature advise from the married and matured folks here.

I am in a very serious relationship with this lady. This is our 12th months together and i plan to propose to her in few months time.

I observe that she has hot temper. Each time we had little misunderstanding she flare up and wouldnt calm down for us to resolve and settle it amicably.

Being a gentleman i believe there are no perfect relationships. Quarrels and disagreements must pop up no matter what.

Yesterday we quarreled due to certain issue we had agreed on. I must confess i caused it but i was quick to realise it and apologise but she wouldnt listen. She made an attempt to call a friend of hers to report the issue. I stopped her. She again wanted to call her pastor too i blocked her hands and was surprise why she is inviting third parties to our matter. She was even voicing it out for people to hear us quarreling and i was calming her down to lower her voice.

This lady is the type every man needs. Religious, good cook, prayerful and she gives me advise on so many occasion.

Her parents are late and she was abandoned by her brothers and sisters due to change of religion. I dont know maybe this affected her attitude.

I myself i have my own wrong sides yet i am ready to accept her wrong and hope she do the same to me. But she wouldnt.

I have talked to her about her anger and made her understand that it is not good for us. Yet yesterdays event surprised me.

Please sorry about the long post. I just need advise or advises about how to handle this issue with my woman.

To add she is 23 and i am 29 years.

reading thru ur post I discovered 2 feelings whc r:- admire & pity. no Mata hw deep I checked I couldn't find anytin like love in your relationship. if you are sure u love her and u know she loves u then u can help her change. But for now all I see in this relationship is 2 adults with the mindset that they will get married or I could be wrong after all what do I know Am a guy of same age with u but don't have plans for marriage in the nearest future.

KingJhean:
Bros you cannot curtail anger o,don't be deceived na only prayer fit help

dnt bring freaking religion into this issue. logically speaking, religion, even if it were real, can't do shit abt a person's character. old man mencade5, listen to markone, he has written down d best advice i have seen so far...IGNORE D PRAYER SOLUTION, E NO GO WORK!

swaggprofessor:
reading thru ur post I discovered 2 feelings whc r:- admire & pity. no Mata hw deep I checked I couldn't find anytin like love in your relationship. if you are sure u love her and u know she loves u then u can help her change. But for now all I see in this relationship is 2 adults with the mindset that they will get married or I could be wrong after all what do I know Am a guy of same age with u but don't have plans for marriage in the nearest future.

bros how u con take arrive at ur conclusion ni? op tell u say him love d bae n u dey doubt,,, u know any of them personally

The girl is only 23 ,she will change maybe
For me I can't love any girl I will change or something,manage ok but change no

guy its just a matter of patient and perseverance, as u said that her parents are late,don't u knw that u have to br playing the role of her parents to make are realize the good from the bad, And always gave her world of advice when both u are in good mood i promise u she we change.And ladies behave differently in all stage of marriage, when u are dating they show different behave, when u wed her another behave and when she gave birth another behave. just be came she we soon change to ur taste

yomisley:
with my own little knowledge you are too soft on her that's why she will always call people people to interfere. am not saying you should start beating your wife, but they are somethings you shouldn't take as a man forget love and face reality. except if you are scared of her. they are somethings she will do just bone and hold your lane tight so she can understand realize her own mistake, it's not everything you will admit in the name of love. .. PLEASE "DO NOT BEAT YOUR WIFE OR FIANCEE, SOMETIMES IT'S not good to be too cold for women, sometimes you need to show small madness for them make comport. am not perfect.

ur post is kinda confusing. seemed like u were encouraging him 2 be more violent...then u advised him nt 2 be violent,..then u said he shud be more violent

komododragons:
that verse is literally talking about your mother but not of your wife or wife to be.

if what you are saying, that means once can put it this way "every unsuccessful man there is a woman who cause his downfall"

Lolz....not every unsuccessful man buh it apparent a woman cud cause a man's downfall.....and d woman d OP is talking about is a wife to be

mencade5:
the thing surprise me ooo. I was dumbfounded when she made that move. This is about us. Why r u bringing people into our lives for such a minor issue? I told her this

Noticed 3 different commenters giving u my line of tot, yet didn't read u acknowledging dem? So, its either ds stuff is unreal, or u'r tinking their take isn't an option.

Well, wat u see is wat u get. Take it or leave it. U'r still in luv n u can't take it,wat happens wen d luv goes stale? And, trust me, it will go stale. Naija mite av d latest cars or phones, dey don't yet av d latest mindset to visit docs for mental health issues.

Even u won't change ur jealous prob, doe u sound reasonable, n she does too. She mite av been brought up to be dependent on d opinion of others, hence inviting 3rd parties.

So u either go ahead n hope for d best or just continue d trial n error search.

yomisley:
with my own little knowledge you are too soft on her that's why she will always call people people to interfere. am not saying you should start beating your wife, but they are somethings you shouldn't take as a man forget love and face reality. except if you are scared of her. they are somethings she will do just bone and hold your lane tight so she can understand realize her own mistake, it's not everything you will admit in the name of love. .. PLEASE "DO NOT BEAT YOUR WIFE OR FIANCEE, SOMETIMES IT'S not good to be too cold for women, sometimes you need to show small madness for them make comport. am not perfect.

but your wife or FIANCEE can display her madness and it is socially acceptable for a woman to be cold and behave STVPID on her husband?

you WOMEN are just always in a favour of ya fellow WOMEN without considering what the man is going through in his life.

do you know the reason why many men turn cold to a woman? because this world is not a place for the meek and gentle! if you are a gentle guy and easy going, ya WOMEN will state misbehaving and thinking ya are under a shield because he can easily overlook everything and start putting ya poo on him.

the moment the guy beat that WOMAN up even if it is once her head will come back to it senses and that is when the love will even flow because she now understand her boundary and not to cross over it again.

quote me anywhere! I recommend beating her up and that's just my ideology on this.

mencade5:
Please bear with me. The thread is a bit long. This thread is about me and not my friend. (lol)

i honestly need mature advise from the married and matured folks here.

I am in a very serious relationship with this lady. This is our 12th months together and i plan to propose to her in few months time.

I observe that she has hot temper. Each time we had little misunderstanding she flare up and wouldnt calm down for us to resolve and settle it amicably.

Being a gentleman i believe there are no perfect relationships. Quarrels and disagreements must pop up no matter what.

Yesterday we quarreled due to certain issue we had agreed on. I must confess i caused it but i was quick to realise it and apologise but she wouldnt listen. She made an attempt to call a friend of hers to report the issue. I stopped her. She again wanted to call her pastor too i blocked her hands and was surprise why she is inviting third parties to our matter. She was even voicing it out for people to hear us quarreling and i was calming her down to lower her voice.

This lady is the type every man needs. Religious, good cook, prayerful and she gives me advise on so many occasion.

Her parents are late and she was abandoned by her brothers and sisters due to change of religion. I dont know maybe this affected her attitude.

I myself i have my own wrong sides yet i am ready to accept her wrong and hope she do the same to me. But she wouldnt.

I have talked to her about her anger and made her understand that it is not good for us. Yet yesterdays event surprised me.

Please sorry about the long post. I just need advise or advises about how to handle this issue with my woman.

To add she is 23 and i am 29 years.

The best way to solve such issue is going on your knees and pray for her