To all those saying that the guy should find out what the problem is, I ask why would the wife not communicate same to the husband. The guy makes advances which are rebuffed by the wife, he sulks, she ignores, they drift apart, and some folks feel the guy is to blame. It is no longer a traditioner thing that the guy MUST lead discussion on issues affecting both. That said, my guy package yourself well well. Put extra extra touch to your dressing, engage in some hobbies of interest to you, make new friends, and patiently wait for the result. Thank me later

kossyablaze:
Is an odour oozing out from ur mouth and armpit?Na condition make crayfish bend

u get mind ooo

debola23:
Something is definitely wrong somewhere, some women take a longer time to feel the need for sex/intimacy after delivering?
Was it a very stressful delivery for her? Being the first baby, it usually is.
Don't assume she is doing it to spite you, she may be dreading the day you will confront her.
You can't keep on this way, else your thoughts to cheat maycome into fruition.

Communication, you can solve almost every problem if you just talk.

Don't be upset, ask her in a loving manner if she isn't still ready because you miss her gan.
Ask how you can help her to be ready.
And no matter how hurtful her responses come out, don't get upset, just be patient.

You know a mature lady from their comments. Kudos to you. Little wonder this kind of comment will not get even a single like but the one from a kid who's probably a jambite, who was suggesting a man who has spent a year in marriage with a woman, and even with a child may not be physically attractive to her got over 50 likes. Was wondering if she was blind in the first place to have gone ahead with the marriage if she knew the man was Shrek.

She might b circumcised at birth.

pet4ril:
If you are very sure you haven't done anything wrong to offend her, put her in prayers it may be spiritual husband stuff or better of, you people should visit a man of God for counseling

visit a man of.... Mr. Man dont just go there... Those so called men of 'gods' of now adays will snatch your wife or be tapping current from your wife.

TeetoEsq:
u get mind ooo

lol

edpunter:


See advise, think am the other way round. If the man no give the woman as she want wetin go come be your advise for the woman?

no woman would have the guts to come out in public and complain of sex starvation

timokoko:
She is a witch.....flog her with plantain leave, she go confess

Bwahahahah! Your matter strong well well o. Had a good laugh. But seriously, I don't get why women harbour different excuses which the man has to live with

halfricanadian:


Exactly my thought

questions for the gods, when she knew he is not physically attractive,why marry him in the first place ? His money aaabi. Birds of d same feathers.

kola1930:
U seem to understand the issue very well... If u don't make d move, then me ready to be starved for a year, cos they will not. So annoying

Don't mind all these Yeye ladies castigating you as if you're the culprit here. In as much as I don't have sufficient information to reach a conclusion, your wife might actually be the culprits here. She's too frigid, unromantic and insensitive to your needs. It takes two to tango. Why should the man be the only one to be romantic, to initiate sex, talk to her, pet her and all like she did the op a favour by marrying her.
Truth is your wife is simply unromantic and rigid. I'm sure those times you've had sex with her, she had just lied there like a log of wood.
Marriage is team work. Ig she's not fulfilling her own part, don't kill yourself. Dump her arse or flirt with other lady. Some wives prefer to learn the hard way. don't kill yourself man.

@Kola1930, if your wife as been like this from the onset then it may be a case of female circumcision. This act generally reduce a woman's libido. If this is the case, u may need to read wide on what to do.

kola1930:
We've been married for a year now and blessed with a pretty daughter. My wife feels little or no urge to be intimate. Its been more than a month now since I had s*x. Reason being that, am angry inside of me that she is always not in the mood, so I decided to hold myself and see when she'll realize it that am angry about it and do the needful. But it seems like am just suffering my self because she seems not to realize she needs to do something fast. I am feeling like cheating on her as a way to punish her maybe she'll realize it that she needs to satisfy her husband to keep him away from other ladies outside. I urgently need advice from married nairalanders... Is the situation d same or similar in ur marriage, and how do I resolve this differences . Am really disturbed

Two things may be responsible:

1.) She is having it elsewhere and therefore not "missing" it from you

2.) It is a Hormonal Problem (early onset of Menopause!).

Short jab in the neck might let you know: Tell her you will have no choice than to seek "gratification" outside with another woman, if your own wife refuses to see it as her duty. (Watch her facial expressions very closely, it will tell you more than she will say with her mouth

Tell her in plain, simple, in-your-face manner.... so that it can hit her and she can realize "WhatzUp".

*If she is getting it outside, she will simply insult you, dare you to try it and turn it to a fight (at that point, your marriage is dead! and you need to start thinking about your "options"
*If it is hormonal and she is just "not feeling it", she will "break-down" and plead with you to understand her "problem". (At that point, you need to stand solidly with her and seek medical help).

BTW: how long was the birth..... before than one month of "fasting"?
Could it be her body is not ready, if its still very close to child-birth?

My sympathies.



Lastpage!

postmann:
@OP,

From your post you said you've been married for a year and blessed with a beautiful daughter...

Should I take that to mean that your wife is just 3 months into her postnatal?

If that's the the case, you'll need to give her some little more time. It's normal for her to be less responsive to your sexual advances.

You can quicken the process of her sexual recovery by being extra romantic. You should know what used to turn her on before her child birth and work towards that line. Little non-sexual kisses, hugs and touches do great magic overtime. Also do a complete boxers and singlet/t-shirt overhaul. This will definitely catch her attention at her vulnerable moment. Hopefully she'll start having thoughts of intimacy about you.

You've said exactly what i have in mind, naturally after having a baby most women experience sharp decrease in their libido.

Report her to d umu ada. I mean ur village women.

komododragons:
that's why we men CHEAT!

go outside and enjoy yourself and forget about your STVPID wife. when she started suspecting you, just relax she will open her leg 24hrs for you.

I couldn't have said it any better. I put my best into any relationship, but when the other party is not reciprocating, I'll bounce you off. No time at al for nonsense. The same thing I'll do for my wife. If she wanna form rigid and insensitive, she should be my guest. I suffer fools gladly.

Hire 5 men to bleep her ,after that her urge go increase she go dey want am every night .....

tosyne2much:
For your mind you don give advice abi? Your comment reeks of arrogance and insult and you think you have offered the best advice shey?


And to think a man has to undergo all you posted just to be compensated with sex clearly shows how clueless you are. Smh


Op... Well, I'm not married so I'm not experienced in this aspect. I just hope more experienced married men can help you find a solution

I really do not have the energy to type, I'd have analyzed her post and expose her foolishness. She's such the arrogant type. These are kinds of biatch that will offend their husband and would still expect them to beg. These are kind of girls I like. Let them show me the stuff they're made of, and I'll make their life miserable as they wish.

AreaFada2:


Haba! The accusation is too much na. Both have marital duties. Something they should/would have learnt preparing for marriage.
If any party cannot fulfil that role, he/she should naturally seek help.

First there are things to know: was there sex before marriage? Was the marriage arranged? Was she ever keen on sex? Has it got worse since having a baby? Does she do a physically exhausting job? Has she any history of having suffered molestation? Does she suffer from pain during sex? Is she depressed? Is she even falling out of love?

These can help you see the way forward, if you might need professional medical/psychological help.

Marriage is not always rosy. Challenges: sexual, financial and all can come up at any time.

Best post I've seen. Thumbs up sir. I like your approach to this issue. This is maturity at play. The elders have spoken.

komododragons:
just because of yansh make I do all this stuff

all this is RUBBISH! the best method is to ignore her and fvck outside. her head will come back to her senses.

Dope! My Nigga!
Imagine doing all those bullshyte for Pussy! Lord have mercy!

It takes quite a while 4 her body 2 get back in the game..there's a medical term 4 it dat i've forgotten nw...for some women it even takes up 2 a year sef..hang in there..show more affection, try n help out too cos nursing aa child can be pretty stressful...rub her feet, try some massage n gentle kissing...she'll definitely get her groove back eventually..

Onegai:


They're fixing drains around us and this has driven mosquitoes into the house. That has made us take the decision to keep our baby in our small bed whilst we hurriedly got a mosquito net. I am currently "ignoring" him. He has not died and I have scheduled "shenanigans" for when I drop her off and rush to a good spot to book a night for us and celebrate his birthday in 2 weeks' time. (He doesn't know that yet so no-one spoil it )

Because a lot of you guys are not understanding (no-one has taught you to put others first) and see women as the "enemy to be subdued", you marry and make selfish decisions. You guys end up regretting it when you know how much destruction it causes later in life but by then it's too late.

OP, please ignore my post and listen to the guys on NL encouraging you to think like a lowly animal. Who doesn't know how to step back and look at the big picture but thinks only of now, instant gratifcation and selfishness. She's tired and her sex drive has disappeared taking care of YOUR CHILD but hey, what do I know (shrug). My husband knows the best thing to do is speak to me because if he goes sulking, I'm too exhausted chasing a baby to realise that he's blanking me or worse, I assume whatever caused the sulks will resolve itself. That is what your mouth is for, not discussing Football stats alone but communicating with people.

the problem with your posts is just heaping all the problems on the man without even adressing the woman's issues as if she is a saint, you women are wonderful creatures with myraids of issues, men are no saint either so try to be less bias after all a man also have big issues he attends to out there.
God knows i will try my best to be the best to my wife and children but if she start acting strange? Hmmm, i have many preocupations to endulge. Forex trading, games, music, dancing and others she will be the one to come back and seek solution,

Pidggin:
Are you physically attractive?

r u trying to say that could be the reason? Then y did she marry him in the first place.
Well i blame the guy, that is the essence of courtship

maybe you need to ready a pick-up material online to learn how to pick her up and put her in the mood. she may be uncomfortable with you after one year of marriage because of little things like bad odor, being dirty, not helping in house chores, not being romantic - curdle her often at bed times, stop giving her the impression that you married her as intimacy gadget with no romantic touch. pay attention to details and see how she would change!

Ghad

1. Your wife may be depressed, post birth depression. She may need help clinical psychologist.

2. She may be frigid and just lured you into marriage and had in her mind that just one child that is it !

3. You may have done something to hurt her feelings. Sex start in the head for women while for men it start with the eyes and your third leg.

4. Don't pressurise her to have sex.

My advice clean up yourself, tidy your game, flirt with alot of women, catch your fun to the Max but don't go down with any woman. She will come running to you.

Surprise her with gift, shower her with praises, Cook of her, help with the baby. Friday night hit the town and Rock die.

Come back and thank me.

Communication is key, some women can be selfish or insensitive, it may not be deliberate though. Just find time and discuss it with her in a relaxed way. Also check your hygiene, smell nice etc. God be with you.

deen11:
I feel u man! Just keep understudying her,and sure you would get her weakness...

Surprise her with many things...vis-a-vis
Looking good and smelling nice
Assisting with house chores as far as u could
Buying her gifts
Taking her out to whr she hasn't been before
Engaging her with sensational talks and so on
.......the list is endless man.

Don't be discouraged and I hope one will work out except if she is no longer interested in the union. Best of luck!!!!!

Ahmed0336:
were her eyes closed when he married her?

lols, may she married under societal pressure, buh I think I no wha she meant . I guess shez talking about post-marriage posture

1. Maybe you are boring her in bed.
Advice: Go and learn correct sexual styles from somewhere.

2. Maybe you have a problem that she is afraid to share with you. Your hygiene might be a problem, you might have mouth odour or something that puts her off.

3. She might have a problem from her past that you do not know about e.g. boyfriend outside, lesbian partner outside.

4. It could be hormonal problems, or the effect of raising her child - it affects women atimes.

5. You need to be more romantic, caring and do things like house-chores, take her out on dates (yes, i said it)