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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice (52781 Views)
He Did Not Enjoy Intimacy With Me, And Concluded I Am Cheating / I Can’t Bear My Husband’s Strong Sexual Urge: Wife / My Wife Has Little Or No Urge For Intimacy. Possible Causes & Solutions. (2) (3) (4)
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Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by MarieSucre(f): 10:56am On Apr 01, 2016 |
themayor4542: It goes both ways. Its just like a woman saying coz she has got the man. She will stop dressing in that nice cute way that first attracted and suddenly start dressing like old mama. We must keep trying to make it work. |
Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by sameolg616(m): 10:57am On Apr 01, 2016 |
kola1930:im never a one gal guy.....find yourself a galfriend..when you give them the attention,they start misbehaving but wen u act like u careless,they would sit tight... i dont stay in the same bedroom with my wife just cuz of this ur particular problem..i love sex and i cant stand a sexy body next to me and you say no in these hard times(wen that can help cool the tension).....it vexes me..and even more embarrassing that its one main issue that causes serious fight..its a simple rule:if u aint gon be useful then stay in ur room! i have always believed that an extra-marital affair(guys only)helps reduce the pressure of s*x in marriages...the womans attention suddenly shifts to her work,child and when you persist,you would look insensitive..the future looks very dark for our generation as most of us wont even outlast our parents in marriages...the quest for material tins is really ruining us..i dont waste my time on hate,bitterness of the situation,instead im already working out a solution...as my prof defined marriage to the african man....marriage is procreation.... many wld argue or frown at the hard options available now but in reality,its a fact.. in a bad situation,never do a good tin...do the right tin |
Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by Nobody: 11:22am On Apr 01, 2016 |
Joy1706:hey hag, have you come to nag us to death? Why don't you go and cook something in the kitchen or use that sharp tongue of yours to give your man some mouth action...may be you can still get married at your age.. |
Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by Abel202: 11:23am On Apr 01, 2016 |
mummydirect: When I read this, I started laughing in Swahili. I am now married for Ten years. From the first year, I unfortunately discovered that if you allow my wife she can stay without making love for a straight one year or even more. She is a lovely wife in every sense of the word, And I love and cherish her greatly, but as far as love making is concerned she is zero. Over the years, I have tried everything including all the funny advises am reading here. So if it's my kind of wife that the OP married, chai chai the OP is on a very loooong thing. If its my kind of wife then he will have to be able to source for alternative means of satisfying himself sometimes if he has to keep the home front and everyone happy lol. But it's still too early for the OP now. He still have to take some of the amusing advises I have read here and try it to see what it gives. But if it's my kind of wife iya iya you are on a very very long thing.[/b][b][b][/b] 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by mykel25(m): 11:49am On Apr 01, 2016 |
Bro, it a challenge you have to plan how to carefully overcome 1. Try to figure out why she doesn't have urge to romantic stuffs...if she's not talking or she doesn't know find these out 2. Is she going through a lot of stress? 3. Is she depressed over any issue? She might not wanna say them tho...it cud be finances, how boring u may be in love making, so many things 4. Does she enjoy s3x d way you make love to her? If not let there be communication during intercourse try to satisfy her n not yourself for now LASTLY remember anything u didn't do well as a result of this crisis will bring a reaction you won't be able to bear Talking from experience cheating outside might not make her change n it might escalate d issue n damage your marriage....just address the issue let her speak her mind |
Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by achyy(f): 11:51am On Apr 01, 2016 |
i can relate perfectly well to how you feel.months after i had my boy i completely lost my urge for sex.the thought of it alone makes me unhappy.but then i realised my husband is on the receiving end being someone that loves sex.i decided to check what exactly could be the reason since my sexual life was active before now..alas it is the birth control i have in my system.birth control is the major cause of it and alot of other things..if she is on such too both of you should read extensively on the pros and cons of it and make a decision.the lack of sexual urge might not be her fault entirely.pls be understanding 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by DeadWrong: 12:07pm On Apr 01, 2016 |
Let me guess - your wife is Yoruba?
Very unromantic and frigid set of people. 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by justmenoni: 12:12pm On Apr 01, 2016 |
Are you indirectly saying the wife has brrn cheating outside hence having a child for someone else cos I Can't comprehend what been physically attractive has got to do with one's sexual life taking into consideration that they have been having sex before and even gave a child. Op why not sit her down and let her understand your plight cos to me she might not figure out you're angry cos of sex unless she's a witch I mean you could be angry for alot of other reasons; eg the current economical situation,electricity, finances, stress from employment etc.. If she's thinking that you're angry cos of sex even without you telling her then blv me shr must be an olosho, a witch or both uote author=Pidggin post=44194854]Are you physically attractive? [/quote] |
Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by Eldorado382: 12:17pm On Apr 01, 2016 |
Somtimes she z exploiting ur sexual weakness qch u faked during friendship or maybe u married her out of her wishes just bc d parents needed u as inlaw more dan d lady needed u as husband |
Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by kachi19: 12:25pm On Apr 01, 2016 |
Silsilah:Oh really?? |
Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by medexico(m): 12:40pm On Apr 01, 2016 |
Onegai: Awwwn Baby, they made you spoil the surprise, now I know your plan. |
Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by rubyradiance(f): 12:42pm On Apr 01, 2016 |
My dear brother,cheating on ur wife will be like adding salt to injury because wen she finds out then,u've succeeded in killing any passion she ever had for u by 50%,,back to d main issue,a lot of Nigerian men don't give much into their relationships but expects d woman to always open her legs whenever they want it,,now have u ever taught about how d new role is affecting ur wife? Do u assist her at all? Being a 1st time mum can be so overwhelming To solve ur problem,try assisting ur wife to relive her of some stress,always compliment her,call her sweet names a million times a day.if u are at work call her & tell her u were thinking about her,when u get home ask her if there's anything u can help her with in dd kitchen,i bet you she won't accept but she will be craving ur that moment,buy her gift even if it's #200 rechrge card,it doesn't hv to be expensive,,,protect her from ur family,always gist with her even if she annoys you,wen u both hv retire to bed at night,tell her honey there's something u did that really got me angry then u both talk about it,let us see if she will not be drooling over you |
Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by Maximus85(m): 12:47pm On Apr 01, 2016 |
Pidggin: She may be punishing you. Maybe you cheated and she saw you but kept mute. |
Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by kenrish2(m): 12:47pm On Apr 01, 2016 |
smartigo:i have dated ladies and believe me some have very low sexual urge while some are tigers in bed all ladies are nt d same, so if u happen to mary a lady with low lubido u are in real trouble. She can be there while u mastubate because she cant satisfy u |
Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by funmiayodele(f): 12:50pm On Apr 01, 2016 |
[color=#990000][/color][b][/b][i][/i]Take it easy with her |
Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by mummydirect(f): 12:50pm On Apr 01, 2016 |
Abel202:Huh! oga you are trying, well if your wife is comfortable with that and you too are, good for you guys but I personally will rot in guilt not giving my hubby is other food even when it is glaring to me that he needs it. Anyway, I understand sha, I will be ten years soonest too in marriage, so I understand. Do u know during labor, due to the pain inherent in it, I usually and angrily too promise not to near hubby for six months after delivery but alas, just three weeks into delivery, he will stylishly and romantically lure me into giving him which I can never say no to, so you see why I say that something is wrong somewhere, judging from my own scenario though I understand the disparities in men's ability to control their sexual urge. Anyway, women should be careful in this aspect of marriage, in other for the devil not to gain entrance into their homes due to negligence. May God Bless our marriages, amen 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by mummydirect(f): 1:01pm On Apr 01, 2016 |
naijathings:Physical attraction is not the problem here cos the woman must have accepted him the way he is prior to their marriage, hence physical attraction has no course here, the man should just study and understand his wife sexual strength and seek for an appropriate solutions, that is all. It happens like that, especially when the man is not all that romantic. The man should just be patient withe woman and assists her with some house chores, honestly, being a first time mother isn't a joke, mostly when there is no assistance. |
Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by damiandammy(m): 1:04pm On Apr 01, 2016 |
End time wife |
Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by uncleFola(m): 1:07pm On Apr 01, 2016 |
austine4real:lol ... smh. |
Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by DaGeneral(m): 1:25pm On Apr 01, 2016 |
Let me speak from personal experience and that of a friend. My friends case was that he married a wife who believe se.x is only for procreation so anything aside that is a red flag for her, my friend couldn't bear it anymore thus resulted to self service from where he graduated to side chic's and dat almost cost him his marriage. Before and during pregnancy my wife n I made love like minks,as in even 2hrs to when her water broke we had a quickie that night.now fast forward to after delivery, she had a tear and d doctor being a friend asked I give her 6weeks for d“ pleasure generator" to heal and I gladly extended it to 8weeks. After the healing each time I tried logging in the server is always offline, dis continued for another 4weeks,knowing full well that at times my cologne alone turns her on b4, I knew it has to be a postnatal issue. So i resolved to the d following, 1.At every opportunity I try to relieve her of chores as much as possible,sometimes I even back my daughter while in d kitchen with her, when am home on weekends I allow her to go to the market and do her thing leaving d small madam with me(its not dat comfortable because my daughter can drive u nuts I mean nuts) ,I do dishes,seldom cook and watch dem bibs n napkins. 2. I made her understand by my actions dat I know she going through and am ready to follow through with her. 3. Never to get angry wen she refuses Se.x rather I will cuddle her n we sleep. And when it eventually happened it was like d movie “Olympus has fallen " When she eventually opened up on why she became repulsive to se.x I was awe struck, I mean aside the stress mounted on her by baby sucking off and on alongside other duties every other things was about me. She was not sure how I would react to her new body, she was like a human just came from the pleasure generator and d b00bs at d moment now produce milk so she psychological dreaded the idea. Bros it takes a lot of sacrifices and compromises to Mk one's marriage work. Se.x after birth is and can never be thesame as compared to before oooo. Bros sometimes when we get mind to do marathon na that day my pikin go put mouth for breast till 1am.. 5 Likes |
Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by nenergy(m): 1:30pm On Apr 01, 2016 |
If at all you two are ladies, you can't be more than 19-21 years to have such a mindset. This is about marriage, not boyfriend and girlfriend. Pidggin: 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by Pidggin(f): 1:33pm On Apr 01, 2016 |
nenergy: |
Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by smartigo: 1:33pm On Apr 01, 2016 |
kenrish2: In that regard, visit www.zeevirtualmedia.com . If it doesn't help, then it is serious issue to either live with or run away frm |
Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by kenrish2(m): 1:38pm On Apr 01, 2016 |
smartigo:u are very funny |
Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by JustHere2Observ(f): 1:43pm On Apr 01, 2016 |
Just say you want to cheat, shikena. I know of someone whose husband cheated on her despite all the sexual energy they share...his excuse for cheating, he was being stupid and not thinking. 2 Likes |
Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by nenergy(m): 1:53pm On Apr 01, 2016 |
DaGeneral:Pidggin and halfricanadian , hope you're learning something? |
Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by DrMeroThaEmperor(m): 2:02pm On Apr 01, 2016 |
DaGeneral:Tha General.... Iyam learning o |
Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by sameolg616(m): 2:07pm On Apr 01, 2016 |
DaGeneral:shio..see all the cassanova help duties u had to go thru.....those are normal duties you have to perform(maybe not to ur own extent though) and out of sympathy,she allowed u...so pls wats the current situation? you are right sexy cant be the same after marriage or child birth.....and that the reason why u have to get a "ferrari" after u have had your "rolls royce".....warning!the ferrari itself is so fast,furious and dangerous.. my last ferrari almost cost me everytin but not my kids...only a skillful driver like me "lewis hamilton" could have survived such a fatal crash with only minor injuries.... my advice and opinion are free for the posted but let in bear in mind "terms and conditions apply" and results may be fatal... fatl in the sense that if u dont apply so much wisdom,all these "singles gals"out there are even worse than ur problem..most of them are just looking for a family to scatter and join by promising and providing all ur fantasies..... |
Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by sameolg616(m): 2:19pm On Apr 01, 2016 |
JustHere2Observ:pls madam...let me speak for the men... its in a mans nature to cheat...ow can one 1 woman wan chop all these dangote sugar?she wan kill herself ni?how u define ur "ferrari" vs "rolls royce" is wat makes the wife and the gf.. the bible has predicted itself in isaiah 4:1 In that day seven women will take hold of one man and say, "We will eat our own food and provide our own clothes; only let us be called by your name. Take away our disgrace!" so pls why would a brother be begging for sex when all he shd do is find he remaining 6women... i keep telling my friends:we must help all these single women as they are just to many...the more we ignore them,the more they would become our problems" just imagin if our brother in need just meets another gal that would set all his fantasies alight daily(they would even pay for the pleasure just to make sure they obtain his c of o from the wife),do u think he would wan go back home ?then,the woman would start complaining when indeed she was the main cause but they nevr remember it... my brother,join the "help the needy(single gals" crusade and i promise u wld come back here with a testimony ur wife is now behaving herself" |
Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by Swissheart(f): 2:38pm On Apr 01, 2016 |
DaGeneral:wow. You write so brilliantly yet amusingly too that I cannot but admire your lines. Your wife is a lucky person. 2 Likes |
Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by 30secs(m): 2:58pm On Apr 01, 2016 |
Get her female aphrodisiac. Those are on sale. Or better yet get a chick by the side; to keep your sanity and to save your marriage. |
Re: My Wife Feels Little Or No Urge For Intimacy... Please Advice by Ngokafor(f): 3:02pm On Apr 01, 2016 |
sameolg616: ...You sound so childish!...just go through the gibberish you have been spilling on this thread ...Which sensible married man does not know that having a baby is not child's play and that the women needs to heal physically and psychologically? ..To make matters worse,you are married....It beats me why some of you guys cant just grow up and behave responsibly...I pity your wives and other so-called married women who have chosen to live with men like you...I certainly would not tolerate half the crap i read from you guys from my husband. 2 Likes |
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Married Last Week, Already Set For Divorce. Help A Nairalander Make A Decision / Married Women Are Becoming Too Unfaithful. Bring Back The Days Of 'magun' / Cheating With Pride. Wife Explains Why
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