I Feel so Angry With My Husband. Help! - Family (10)

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Re: I Feel so Angry With My Husband. Help! by CopyLearner: 10:53am On Apr 04, 2016

Serenity008:
OP, are you working, if no, get your lazy ass out of the house and look for a job.

how come many of you are reading with your mouths and fingers? She clearly stated that she gets home from work at 6pm n her husband gets in at 9pm. Every excuse to call someone a lazy ass,you guys would jump at it. Mscheww

3 Likes

Re: I Feel so Angry With My Husband. Help! by Worksunlimited: 10:56am On Apr 04, 2016

BlackAlbino6:

99% of women's brain was configured be be stingy.

What beffles me is how they mostly come online to complain how some guys are stingy, most of these girls are like OCEANS, they don't give, they only know how to collect.

My broda! .. Na tru yearns u word so...

1 Like

Re: I Feel so Angry With My Husband. Help! by josite: 10:59am On Apr 04, 2016

madam.u and your husbnd didnt have the right coumselling and u are lucky to now place yourself in a position that you can now be taught.

1.marriage is not a feeling,it is a commitment.a feeling like an orgasm lasts few minutes at most so u cant base a marriage on a feeling.
2.quite often many times couples sincerely do not feel in love but the common destination and the common goal which i doubt both of u has established ,is the reason why couples stay glued together.
3 FOR U TO STAY IN A MAARIAGE,there must be a sense of "if im not joined to him,i cant be what im divinely programmed to be"
4.did u do personality assesment,men like me,get busy with arriving at the goal after sex,so if u expect me to watch over u every seconds and tell u i love u ,u marry the wrong man and i alos feels d lady should be busy after sex,i dont dote others and i hate being doted upon.
5.accept the contemporal definition of marriage ,marriage now is not what it used to be in era gone by.
6.u and him are.not communicating,both of u should draw 3 circles one will be for u ad one will be for him and the 3rd circle will contain the space ,physical and spiritual space both of u must share and contribute into and surrender some things into.
7.after drawing the 3 circles,dont ever encroach on the circle exclusively meant for each other.u may not both decide,dont check my fones,dont carry my fones,dont read my emails and so be it.
8.learn the art of seperation before the legal and spiritual seperation,create an environment for ur spouse to be himself or herself as if they are still single.let her or him feel free to do whatever they used to do untill they get to a point that they now accepts such a thing now belongs to the past and voluntarily surrender them.dont insist your spouse stop a habot by fiat,the same reason why u didnt insist before marriage is the same way u dont insist after marriage.like u said this man bones ,boning its his habit.to insist he stops boning by fire ,by force will leads to undesirable results.
9.are u upgrading his life ,are the burdens getting evidently shared or does he wrongly and rightly feels things jus got worse after marrying u.

10.can u forget about urself for a while ,can u elect to be waitress for him,who only answers when called and who compulsorily answes only when called e.g a bar attendant.learnt to give and give and give and give without expecting any thing in return and u will seee how much u have received at the end of the day.forget urself.if he is not talking to u,pray for him ,continue serving him as if all is well.
11.assume he doesnt love u and show him in spite of that ,u are committed to his wellbeing.waiting to be loved until we love is the destruction of today's marriages.why dont u jus play ur own role,the role of a loving wife.
12.spouses cant be doctors,bankers and all the solutions to your aches so u still need the doctor to heal your pains and U STILL NEED GOD.NO MAN HAS ALL U NEED TO BE WHOLE.NO MAN ,NO WOMAN,UR SPOUSE IS NOT A MASSEUR,A DR,A JESUS,A HEALER,A PSYCHOLOGIST ROLLED INTO ONE,HE IS ONE MAN OR WOMAN

1 Like

Re: I Feel so Angry With My Husband. Help! by meetvic: 10:59am On Apr 04, 2016

@OP you can visit www.jw.org and click on couples and parents, I assure you, you will find materials that you can read and will profer solution to this issue.

Re: I Feel so Angry With My Husband. Help! by CopyLearner: 11:07am On Apr 04, 2016

goingape:
how do you know he is a weirdo

You don't take a woman's side of a story and make a conclusion! Don't you see she is talking all kinds of things to make her be the good one while the husband look bad!

And nor of you here see this but siding her and giving her advise. To the marriage folks who advise her! You are worst for you not to see through and taking only side ( her side)

I don't see anywhere where she tried to make her husband look bad. She only complained about him being withdrawn and how it is affecting her. Obviously there are two troubled souls in that house. Your first comment btw makes you look like a bitter soul. Is everything alright?

Re: I Feel so Angry With My Husband. Help! by lastpage: 11:17am On Apr 04, 2016

Tekevwe:
I got married to my husband a some months ago. Before we got married we dated for a while and my husband was the smiling type, though I noticed he bones a lot with his siblings.

Our courtship was great. He used to give me practically everything I wanted (affection and care) even before I asked. He showered me with so much love that I thought I was dreaming. I saw some other qualities in him and felt he would make a great husband.

The first week of our marriage, my husband changed, started boning round the house and withdrew into himself. His office rent was due that month so I felt that was cause and let him be. Several months down the line and things re d same or even worse. He gets home boning, eats and goes straight to bed. If I try gisting with him he answers in monosylables and you can see the disinterest on his face.

The only time he smiles at home is when he wants to be intimate. That's the only time he's soft with me now and the only time I feel connected to him. I asked him if I offended him in any way and he says no, that the pressure of providing for a new family is getting to him.

I didn't play hard to get cos I don't believe in such so I don't know why the change.

There are some other qualities I discovered in him that I never saw while we were dating. I jokingly told him he has changed and that day he smiled and said he had to give me all I wanted cos he didn't want to lose me since I'm a pretty girl. Now that we re married its like he can't be bothered with trying anymore.

Also deep down I don't tink he loves me and feel he just married me cos he isn't so young anymore (almost 40) and he's parents were mounting pressure on him. He's snappy with me now which never used to happen.

He also has a wall built around him that I can't seem to penetrate. I feel so depressed each time I'm home, being married to a man I feel no connection to.

I don't know if this is what marriage entails. If it is, then please, married folks should hint me so I can adjust my mindset to this new change.

Also, what can I do to break through and get through to him?

My take:

1.) He has given you a reason for his "bad mood" - Pressure of catering for the family! Now, different men (and women too), manage PRESSURE in different ways. Some can soak it up while others have it written all over their face! undecided

Your husband belongs to the latter category.

2.) Courting and Marriage are two opposite sides of the same coin. Men change after Marriage..... just as my own wife "changed' after Marriage! shocked

But it does not mean the LOVE is gone....... it just means it is "adapting" to a changing scenario.

3.) Live is not all about "Roses"..... there are "Thorns" as well, even in a beautifully perfumed flower.
See "Life" as NEPA! Yes, the proverbial NEPA which they call PHCN nowadays! grin

Like Fela Anikulapo sang in one of his albums, regarding Nepa: "Sometimes, e go bright-much..... then e go bright-small.."

4.) Marriage..... and 'remaining married'.... means being able to "ADAPT" to another person........... a person whose "character and values" have been long-formed, before you even knew them! Think about that statement for a minute. undecided

5.) Love confuses things, it is good for courtship...... but cannot be extended to Marriage, using the same standards.
Marriage is REALITY! .... but Love makes that "reality", more manageable!

6.) Finally, like everything in Life, "There are "Ups' ...and "Downs". It comes and goes".
Marriage is Sweet but there are "human-interaction" challenges, which is what yo are experiencing now. It will go away after sometime, if you manage it properly, by "not blowing it" with this your "I feel so angry with my husband" attitude.

7.) Dont forget that the "economic climate' is also harsher on some people, than others. This may be his trying times and all you need do is show "support"..... morally, emotionally and financially

Just Relax...and help him relax too! Humans are like NEPA!
He wil get over it but the best you can do, to make that getting-over, "quick enough" .... is not to aggravate matter and understand that it is just a phase, that will pass with time.

Have you ever wondered-why that close to 50% of marriages fail within the first 12 Months, about 60% within the first 2 years and about 75% fail within the first 5 Years ......... but most Marriages than can survive the first five years, end up being together for Life!

I am happy that he is able to "relax" when he wants to be intimate with you ...... because it tells me that "His state of mind" is not caused by extra-marital relationship outside the marriage. So, you have nothing to worry about..... except your own "reaction".

Just SMILE at him when he comes in .... then when he looks at you with "curiosity" as to why you have just Smiling at him, then frown your face at him and ask him which one he likes better! grin

If he says he likes the Smile better, jokingly remind him that you are stressed but even at that, you will stil continue to smile at him and that "you hope he will return the favour"..... even when he is stressed too! undecided

Trust me, he will think about that statement, in his own quiet time, .... if you say it without any show of anger.

It will be well with your marriage, IJN.

Married about twenty years and counting!

Lastpage!

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Re: I Feel so Angry With My Husband. Help! by Nobody: 11:18am On Apr 04, 2016

kenonze:

Your comment is what we ladies shouldn't ignor.
Are u sure you are not the said husband

I am not and just responding based on what she said.

If we could skip the unnecessary spendings on most marriages. Many men would be so happy.

Just imagine completing a wedding and not being able to pay for rent? I believe the way he is going about it is wrong and should be able to open up to his wife on whatever challenges he is going through but that does not still prevent another lady from pushing her man to the limit then start complaining after marriage of the pressures.

Re: I Feel so Angry With My Husband. Help! by iamdapsyj(m): 11:21am On Apr 04, 2016

x240:

You must have been reading my text upside down.

I blamed everyone proportionately. I never spared anyone. I like to be a realist and talk based on facts and not just emotions or feelings.

I guess you skimmed through where she said she started seeing the obvious signs when he was having troubles settling his office rent. I am not in their family and can only judge based on little snippets of info you can gleam.
What does it connote for a man to not be able to pay his office rent just few months after his wedding?

You make it seem like it is a black and white issue. How many times has a man tried talking to the lady to listen and reduce the cost of wedding expenses but they turn it too a case of he is too stingy.

How many of you ladies here would agree to budget wedding?

How many would agree to a small wedding with just minute friends and families around?

How many times have ladies of guys not loving them enough because he doesnt want to spend on a frivolous wedding?

The guy is to blame for over spending his balance but its not that easy to just pull out of such when you have expended emotions, time and resources nurturing such a relationship only to just breakaway.

So run along if you can't constructively disagree with my post. Thanks.

@op This might not be the case in your example but you need to sit him down and talk about finding a way around whatever challenges he is facing. The way i see it. There seems to be fire on the mountain and all his lovely wife wants to do is "Gist about what is not". No wonder he pulls away and thinks "You don't just get it".

I will have to concur with you here cos most ladies wouldn't agree to a small wedding especially those that I have related with......

Re: I Feel so Angry With My Husband. Help! by josite: 11:22am On Apr 04, 2016

Tekevwe:
@ Elvina

Yes he's spiritual. That's one quality that attracted me to him.

U may have to admit u married a man u dint know too well.boning is not of the gifts of the holy spirit and boning personalities cannot be described as spiritually positive cus there is link between boning and sadness.

i once rented an apartment cus d man was a pastor and i thought that was a positive till down the line,one of his daughters had to resolve my sad encounter with him by telling me their dad is an uptight personality and cannot freely express joy.that was the day i looked up the meaning of uptight.

marriage will continue to disappoint folks who thinks it holds the key to all their sorrows,it doesn't.nothing demands hard work like marriage.nothing.what u cant face right now is that u get work,real work to do wit ur kind of hubby.

Re: I Feel so Angry With My Husband. Help! by Nobody: 11:23am On Apr 04, 2016

x240:

I am not and just responding based on what she said.

If we could skip the unnecessary spendings on most marriages. Many men would be so happy.

Just imagine completing a wedding and not being able to pay for rent? I believe the way he is going about it is wrong and should be able to open up to his wife on whatever challenges he is going through but that does not still prevent another lady from pushing her man to the limit then start complaining after marriage of the pressures.

The pressure most times comes from parents not really from us. Especially when the groom is from another tribe and the bride is a graduate

1 Like

Re: I Feel so Angry With My Husband. Help! by pweetychyka(f): 11:36am On Apr 04, 2016

Tekevwe:
I got married to my husband a some months ago. Before we got married we dated for a while and my husband was the smiling type, though I noticed he bones a lot with his siblings.

Our courtship was great. He used to give me practically everything I wanted (affection and care) even before I asked. [/b]He showered me with so much love that I thought I was dreaming. I saw some other qualities in him and felt he would make a great husband.

[b]The first week of our marriage, my husband changed, started boning round the house and withdrew into himself. His office rent was due that month so I felt that was cause and let him be. Several months down the line and things re d same or even worse. He gets home boning, eats and goes straight to bed. If I try gisting with him he answers in monosylables and you can see the disinterest on his face.

The only time he smiles at home is when he wants to be intimate. That's the only time he's soft with me now and the only time I feel connected to him. I asked him if I offended him in any way and he says no, that the pressure of providing for a new family is getting to him.

I didn't play hard to get cos I don't believe in such so I don't know why the change.

There are some other qualities I discovered in him that I never saw while we were dating. I jokingly told him he has changed and that day he smiled and said he had to give me all I wanted cos he didn't want to lose me since I'm a pretty girl. Now that we re married its like he can't be bothered with trying anymore.

Also deep down I don't tink he loves me and feel he just married me cos he isn't so young anymore (almost 40) and he's parents were mounting pressure on him. He's snappy with me now which never used to happen.

He also has a wall built around him that I can't seem to penetrate. I feel so depressed each time I'm home, being married to a man I feel no connection to.

I don't know if this is what marriage entails. If it is, then please, married folks should hint me so I can adjust my mindset to this new change.

Also, what can I do to break through and get through to him?

OP, @1st bolded, When you observed his boning attitude towards his siblings during your dating period, did u bother asking y he pulls such attitude towards his own blood?

@2nd bolded, Guess that got you carried away and made you forgot to do the necessary things you ought to have done during courtship. embarassed

@3rd bolded, Wen u noticed that in the 1st week of ur marriage wat effort did u put in place to know wats wrong?

@4th bolded, Dats part of ur obligation as a woman. Even if he bones at u wen he wants to get intimate u must still have to fulfill ur duties. But then u r lucky he still smiles wen he wants to get intimate....do u jez sleep after intimacy? If yes, try to curb dat out...U can try to cuddle him n make em feel happy den chip in a lil of wat he does dat makes u feel unhappy (politely)!

@5th bolded, U really don't need to play hard to get cos it isn't necessary! Either U play hard to get or U didn't wat will be will be!

@6th bolded, U could not see the qualities cos u were carried away n u didn't date for long embarassed

! Negative attitude can neva be hidden for long

I hope dis helps! Also, u still have to be patient... cos "U can't change ur man else he has made up his mind to change"

1 Like

Re: I Feel so Angry With My Husband. Help! by goingape: 11:51am On Apr 04, 2016

CopyLearner:
I don't see anywhere where she tried to make her husband look bad. She only complained about him being withdrawn and how it is affecting her. Obviously there are two troubled souls in that house. Your first comment btw makes you look like a bitter soul. Is everything alright?

whatever you Are! ask yourself that question.

Re: I Feel so Angry With My Husband. Help! by CopyLearner: 11:58am On Apr 04, 2016

tomdon:

he probably met not what he expected, borehole maybe. indeed you may even have lied to him that you're a virgn, if this is the case, he must have said some things to express his disappointment.
sorry, there's little or no help ma'am in this regard for now.
if however he's not d kind of man who wanted a virgn, then he may be wondering about other things about your sexuality, maybe your hygiene, eg smelling poosi. it could well be other issues. you alone have the signs that point to the issue

how did you read the post biko? I saw from the thread that the husband was only soft towards her and smiling only when it was time to be intimate

Re: I Feel so Angry With My Husband. Help! by precisionindepth: 12:16pm On Apr 04, 2016

dare2differ:
Tekevwe

I think your husband have some unresolved psychological issues.

Try doing the talking and asking the questions. You may receive a yes or no answers but do not let it dissuade you

Tell him about your day etc. Whether he is listening or not should not bother you. maintain a positive environment. You can do some negative shit too like crying audibly, of he asks, blame him. Ask him why he is frustrating you. Ask him if he wants a divorce etc etc.
Please do not turn this into a domestic abuse situation

Go to his family and ask how this all started. Ask his friends too

I don't really know why we keep giving ourself stress. if he wants to be alone, let him be. life is to short to continue to wallow in depression because of somebody who doesn't care. you too keep to yourself, do your wifey duties at home, go out, have fun, keep your work, include business, do every thing to make you occupy. life is too short,. if he wants to be alone, let him be...

Re: I Feel so Angry With My Husband. Help! by dare2differ: 12:19pm On Apr 04, 2016

precisionindepth:
I don't really know why we keep giving ourself stress. if he wants to be alone, let him be. life is to short to continue to wallow in depression because of somebody who doesn't care. you too keep to yourself, do your wifey duties at home, go out, have fun, keep your work, include business, do every thing to make you occupy. life is too short,. if he wants to be alone, let him be...

Maybe that is you

What is the essence of marriage for her in the first place?

What was the first impression he gave?

She can't let him be o

Re: I Feel so Angry With My Husband. Help! by precisionindepth: 12:19pm On Apr 04, 2016

yinkeys:

Tough love, my piece of advice. My sister the country keeps getting harder. Obviously its taking a toll on him & you cant even see it, You better find a way to assist your family financially instead of whining. Marriage ain't a bed of roses

is he the only one experiencing hard times? if every body experiencing hard times continue to sulk in marriage, how will the marriage stand?

1 Like

Re: I Feel so Angry With My Husband. Help! by precisionindepth: 12:19pm On Apr 04, 2016

yinkeys:

Tough love, my piece of advice. My sister the country keeps getting harder. Obviously its taking a toll on him & you cant even see it, You better find a way to assist your family financially instead of whining. Marriage ain't a bed of roses

is he the only one experiencing hard times? if every body experiencing hard times continue to sulk in marriage, how will the marriages stand?

1 Like

Re: I Feel so Angry With My Husband. Help! by precisionindepth: 12:21pm On Apr 04, 2016

Maximus85:

Give him time, I'm begging you. Continue being a good wife. Take pleasure in God's word. Pray for him. When he wants to intimate and he's all smiling with you, don't deny him, but subtly make him know how sad and used you feel. If he's a good man good enough that you married him, he'll come around. Trust me.

this is good...

Re: I Feel so Angry With My Husband. Help! by precisionindepth: 12:26pm On Apr 04, 2016

okay.... why is the man behaving like that? if he wasn't ready to marry, why marry and put her in stress. because of what? is saddens when women go through all sort of poo because of marriage as if marriage is for women alone...nonsense

dare2differ:

Maybe that is you

What is the essence of marriage for her in the first place?

What was the first impression he gave?

She can't let him be o

Re: I Feel so Angry With My Husband. Help! by dare2differ: 12:30pm On Apr 04, 2016

precisionindepth:
okay.... why is the man behaving like that? if he wasn't ready to marry, why marry and put her in stress. because of what? is saddens when women go through all sort of poo because of marriage as if marriage is for women alone...nonsense

I know right. That is why she can't let him be

I suggest she stays on anti-pregnancy treatment

If she can't get him to disclose his problems to her, she is better off leaving him.

He might turn out to treat his kids the same way.

If she can go through it, does that mean her kids go through it too?

Re: I Feel so Angry With My Husband. Help! by obowunmi(m): 12:32pm On Apr 04, 2016

juman:

I also think that way.

She should not have any child for now.
They should see a counselor, hope he change and cheer up.
But if that does not help she should engages his parents, if that fails she should consider divorce.

Well said. Marriage is tough. You either cope or free yourself. Your choice.

Re: I Feel so Angry With My Husband. Help! by Nobody: 12:35pm On Apr 04, 2016

Every man with that attitude has pass through one thing or the other during their growing up, some are naturally moody but can change. u have know what is going on in his heart. before u can do this, u need to assure him that he can trust u not by words but by actions( i mean gain his trust). for him u to get into his heart be intimate wit him not sex, sometimes lie down and put your head on his leg, look into his face. sometimes write to him what hurt you. Tell him u notice he is moody most times ask him what is the problem, tell him u don't enjoy or like it. don't quit your marriage

Re: I Feel so Angry With My Husband. Help! by Nobody: 12:51pm On Apr 04, 2016

familyrocks:
Change too, just start Ignoring him totally, in fact just live as Co tenants. And from your write up it seems he is not doing well financially and your still young so please the second option is leaving that marriage before you get pregnant

Modified**** For those saying my advice is bad..you need your head examined, most women are not happy in their marriages but more than half of them at least have one reason to hold on to the marriage for example they could hold on for the kids or finances or for the way the man treats them well once in a while. But op has not even given one reason of what she is holding on to in that marriage apart from trying to change the behaviour of a man who is almost 40 for crying out loud and he is still struggling that he can't even afford to decently take care of his home financially or emotionally. You people want her to remain miserable,until she starts getting attention from outside and committing adultery then you people will be the same people to call her a prostitute.
That man is just irresponsible, At least men who are not financially strong make up for it by being extra loving..
Please op you are still too young to be so miserable,I repeat quit that marriage and get your life and happiness back. If you decide to stay back then suffer in silence cuz nobody can change the character of a 40 year old. Please forgive the **** word, I have no intention insulting your husband,but I believe you must have heard the saying before, it just makes you understand how impossible it is changing the character of a 40 year old man , A **** at 40 is a **** forever..

Best advice on this thread to be honest, you've raised the issue with him and no change, communication is a very important part of marriage, you also said it started the FIRST WEEK of the marriage so all this talk about giving him his space is nonsense, space barely a month in? Give him time? Lol.

Is there anything you may have done for him to behave this way? If not how very selfish of him and I would personally do the bolded if I were you, if it ends in a separation/divorce so be it, you'd be in an unhappy and lonely marriage anyway.

1 Like

Re: I Feel so Angry With My Husband. Help! by wendy406: 12:53pm On Apr 04, 2016

PresVA:
What a hasty conclusion ... did the op say they're in debt Even if he's in debt, did anyone force him to spend that much? Is he a kid?
People like you always find ways to blame women for everything. .. You're here making it seem like men easily bow to women's pressure or pleas...if they do, then why haven't all cheating men whose wives cry and beg everyday changed?

Mtcheeew, it's a woman's fault when you spend beyond your budget as if you're a kid and don't know when to say No.. or atleast go for a woman in your class...

*Modified*... for those quoting me up and down
You meet a girl, she lives a flamboyant lifestyle, you can't meet up yet you stress yourself? After you come crying about how she has milked you dry? Calling her names?

When you can choose a woman you have same perception with?

God bless you for this write up. I don't know why some ppl are plain stupid !!

Re: I Feel so Angry With My Husband. Help! by agboolagunju: 1:29pm On Apr 04, 2016

Tekevwe:
I got married to my husband a some months ago. Before we got married we dated for a while and my husband was the smiling type, though I noticed he bones a lot with his siblings.

Our courtship was great. He used to give me practically everything I wanted (affection and care) even before I asked. He showered me with so much love that I thought I was dreaming. I saw some other qualities in him and felt he would make a great husband.

The first week of our marriage, my husband changed, started boning round the house and withdrew into himself. His office rent was due that month so I felt that was cause and let him be. Several months down the line and things re d same or even worse. He gets home boning, eats and goes straight to bed. If I try gisting with him he answers in monosylables and you can see the disinterest on his face.

The only time he smiles at home is when he wants to be intimate. That's the only time he's soft with me now and the only time I feel connected to him. I asked him if I offended him in any way and he says no, that the pressure of providing for a new family is getting to him.

I didn't play hard to get cos I don't believe in such so I don't know why the change.

There are some other qualities I discovered in him that I never saw while we were dating. I jokingly told him he has changed and that day he smiled and said he had to give me all I wanted cos he didn't want to lose me since I'm a pretty girl. Now that we re married its like he can't be bothered with trying anymore.

Also deep down I don't tink he loves me and feel he just married me cos he isn't so young anymore (almost 40) and he's parents were mounting pressure on him. He's snappy with me now which never used to happen.

He also has a wall built around him that I can't seem to penetrate. I feel so depressed each time I'm home, being married to a man I feel no connection to.

I don't know if this is what marriage entails. If it is, then please, married folks should hint me so I can adjust my mindset to this new change.

Also, what can I do to break through and get through to him?

Re: I Feel so Angry With My Husband. Help! by agboolagunju: 1:32pm On Apr 04, 2016

Tekevwe:
I got married to my husband a some months ago. Before we got married we dated for a while and my husband was the smiling type, though I noticed he bones a lot with his siblings.

Our courtship was great. He used to give me practically everything I wanted (affection and care) even before I asked. He showered me with so much love that I thought I was dreaming. I saw some other qualities in him and felt he would make a great husband.

The first week of our marriage, my husband changed, started boning round the house and withdrew into himself. His office rent was due that month so I felt that was cause and let him be. Several months down the line and things re d same or even worse. He gets home boning, eats and goes straight to bed. If I try gisting with him he answers in monosylables and you can see the disinterest on his face.

The only time he smiles at home is when he wants to be intimate. That's the only time he's soft with me now and the only time I feel connected to him. I asked him if I offended him in any way and he says no, that the pressure of providing for a new family is getting to him.

I didn't play hard to get cos I don't believe in such so I don't know why the change.

There are some other qualities I discovered in him that I never saw while we were dating. I jokingly told him he has changed and that day he smiled and said he had to give me all I wanted cos he didn't want to lose me since I'm a pretty girl. Now that we re married its like he can't be bothered with trying anymore.

Also deep down I don't tink he loves me and feel he just married me cos he isn't so young anymore (almost 40) and he's parents were mounting pressure on him. He's snappy with me now which never used to happen.

He also has a wall built around him that I can't seem to penetrate. I feel so depressed each time I'm home, being married to a man I feel no connection to.

I don't know if this is what marriage entails. If it is, then please, married folks should hint me so I can adjust my mindset to this new change.

Also, what can I do to break through and get through to him?

It's possible you have married a man who pretended to love you. You may want to talk to the person who counselled you both before the wedding.

Re: I Feel so Angry With My Husband. Help! by yinkeys(m): 1:53pm On Apr 04, 2016

precisionindepth:
is he the only one experiencing hard times? if every body experiencing hard times continue to sulk in marriage, how will the marriages stand?

My dear, different people different shock absorbers. Some people are excellent handling life situations while some are not. Obviously the man has a lot of issues, e.g. being moody

Re: I Feel so Angry With My Husband. Help! by ngaal7: 2:11pm On Apr 04, 2016

Dear friend, You missed the most important thing to look at for in the man: The fear of God. Way out: You need to be close to God I don't mean practicing religion but being truly born again and pray for your husband conversion and God will touch your marriage and make it a blissful one.
Obedience is better than sacrifice.

Re: I Feel so Angry With My Husband. Help! by Autopin: 2:34pm On Apr 04, 2016

Tekevwe:

I'm not the clingy type, if anything I used to be the exact opposite and decided to work on it when I got a few complaints. We both go to work and I get back home by 6pm. He gets in by 9 and just wants to eat, bath, and sleep.

His office is just five minutes from the house and he works for himself so I know its not Lagos traffic. I just feel we should share how both our days went sometimes. He also does the same on weekends when he's home and keeps to himself. I let him be for a few hours and when I try to go to him he's cold still, like he wants to be alone.

I'm beginning to feel lonely.

Your husband is a choleric, one of the best people in the world. Don't feel bad or think you made a mistake marrying him. The best tactics to use on him to open up is to get to know the intricate parts of his job...gradually the connect will reappear.

Re: I Feel so Angry With My Husband. Help! by josite: 2:41pm On Apr 04, 2016

WiseBully:
Your husband succumbed to family pressure by getting married. Age doesn't always tell readiness for this lifetime walk. Marrying a guy that's around 40 or past it is a game of chance because most of them get that far not because they cannot feed another set of mouths but for selfishness and unwillingness to share space, time, decisions and of course material things with others.

They are very reluctant to give up some "exclusive" rights like privacy which has become an obsession to them. Sadly your husband falls in this category. He is stingy! He is selfish! He is self-centered! You may have to adopt his bad babyish behaviour in order to reset your marriage with him.

Warning to all:
Be very concerned about how your prospective partner treats his/her family, and this should considerably influence your final decision on whether to marry him/her.

LOL.I think its my freedom and my sound sleep is really what i dont want to give up.no one shares material things more than me.nice above average counsel .whats your name,lets talk more.

Re: I Feel so Angry With My Husband. Help! by Nobody: 2:53pm On Apr 04, 2016

josite:

LOL.I think its my freedom and my sound sleep is really what i dont want to give up.no one shares material things more than me.nice above average counsel .whats your name,lets talk more.

Get ready for midnight baby cries cheesy

Sleep go clear from your eyes by force grin

As for my name, I like to do it anonymous here. But you could send me a pm and we are good to go from there.

1 Like

Re: I Feel so Angry With My Husband. Help! by samuraijack: 3:37pm On Apr 04, 2016

I hope his name is not Uche, if it is please divorce him. he will torture you mentally...my ex that is grin

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