₦airaland Forum

funkyglitz:
I love the "hardly" word u used but boo and I are doing just fine in BTW different countries.....to all those doing long distance rship is all about your mindset and determination but if that tingly itch arises you just have to get busy to distract yourself and if you can't den scratch yourself by mast**ba**g

hifaif1:
Every time I read about relationships, I feel happy to have chosen to be a priest.

Jadekitana:
And that's when one male friend becomes all caring and giving you attention when your boo is far far away. Too bad!

KingCheezyPuff:
What about all the new men that come into yer life on the daily
With white smile,smooth words an charm for miles

HardMirror:
I agree 100%

Seems the ban has given you little sense.

Jadekitana:
Haha now tell me how you wouldn't fall its damn difficult babe

Yeah

Maxi112:
can I buy u a drink for this

KashyBaby:
I don't believe in a long distance love affair at all....I cud even hardly trust a man when he is jiz nxt to me, what more he is a thousand miles away?

Jadekitana:
Maxi112 please don't insult anyone here, this isn't a thread for kids but matured minds. Take your crap to other threads, nobody is ready for silly jokes or name calling here! You have been noticed, now run along.

HardMirror:
Cold Orijin pls.

badinfluence:
Sounds like you've got trust issues..

KashyBaby:
I trust no one boo boo... even ur best friend can kill u if the prize is ryt...

Maxi112:
just don't spoil this beautiful thread of urs with ur own hand cause I can help u do that...

I beg u stay off my mention for now

badinfluence:
Well everyone's got a price.. some just walk around with their price tags..

Jadekitana:
And please stay off my threads and mentions, i'm not your fan.

Jadekitana:
Let's be realistic, you are very much inlove with someone you hardly see in months, it gets frustrating! It works for some but trust me a lot of people fall out of these distant thingy.Here are some reasons:

1) CONSTANT COMMUNICATION: it may be all sweet and cool when the love just started but give it 6months, long talks begin to get boring! These talks revolve around what's happening in your life daily,there's nothing new! Imagine someone who works morning till night exhausted and as usual you bring up those 1hour talks about your boss,exams,buhari,fuel scarcity, beef with one of your best friends....trust me, he/she may just get bored of the regular routine talks

2) DIRTY TALKS: nope!! This can never be compared to physical intimacy! We'v been talking dirty for months without actions, what's the difference between you and a celibate? It's even not advisable! Imagine sending naked pictures to your spouse,making videos and what have you, leaving them extremely h0rny, they become vulnerable. They ain't woods, any approach from someone they like can trigger anything immediately.

CHEATING: It takes a very disciplined person not to cheat and this seldom happens! I have friends whose girlfriends are in school or working in abuja or ph, they cheat a lot. They would tell you "yes I love my babe but body no be firewood" One recently fell for his bff and ended things with his babe after 2years, he just wasn't feeling the whole thing anymore.

MIND NOT AT REST: like it or not your thoughts always sway to his/her direction especially weekends. Questions like where is he? Who is in his house? Hope he's not camping anybody? Who is he hanging out with? You begin to stalk them 247 on social media, you start calling per second,if he/she is clubbing you stay awake keeping tabs on their movement *sighs* unnecessary high bp

LESS SPENDING: I know the guys would love this a lot! Stingy people! Distant relationship involves little or no spending, apart from fattening MTN's pocket due to calls! You don't hangout, you don't shop, you don't go to movies together, you don't go on dates! You just stick to your phone anytime you are free. I remember spending my allowee during Nysc every month flying to see this bobo, though he assisted in some other things, it DIDNT work because the whole process got tiring.

RELOCATING: this isn't always easy at all, especially when your company refuses to transfer you. Aside that it's not easy leaving all your childhood friends and family to be with someone who may just start acting up anytime, you need to think about that decision a lot.

If you have been in a distant rel for 2-3years and it's not heading anywhere, you need to use your brain and start plotting a Plan B before you receive the shock of your life. Like it or not Out of sight if cares not taken can very well lead to outa mind.

Btw Toks2008 how are you?

KashyBaby:
I trust no one boo boo... even ur best friend can kill u if the prize is ryt ...

HardMirror:
True talk there. If all secrets could be revealed. Many would be shocked what their bf/gf does behind them.

4C2215131:
It can and does work even though a lot of evidence points to the contrary.

Like I mentioned in some other post, it's all about trust period! It is aslo important for folks involved in such a relationship to know what they really have going on.

KashyBaby:
Tats y they keep it "secret" boo...



Oohh I'm juz lucky I'm fvcking single... I'm an anti-cheating...

4C2215131:
It can and does work even though a lot of evidence points to the contrary.

Like I mentioned in some other post, it's all about trust period! It is aslo important for folks involved in such a relationship to know what they really have going on. What do I mean? Is it really a loving relationship that both parties know in their hearts is what they really want (possibly they were together before circumstances seperated them). If it is so, distance while being hard on one or both parties cannot tear them apart (ever wondered why they say distance makes the heart grow fonder?).

In relation to cheating, distance or not it can happen. A partner that is predisposed to cheating on his/her partner will do irrespective of distance. Hell, folks cheat with their next door neighbour for crying out loud right under the nose of their significant others! Now, the key is to know your partner. If s/he's the type that needs 'it' regularly they might be a problem but it can be fixed if s/he isn't too selfish.

How? She can make use of the various sexual apparatus available today for letting off sexual frustration, in the absence of such self serv yourself a buffet! ( it doesn't always have to be the dick or kittykat pardon my Swahili). This also brings to the fore another issue. Partners should try to experiment during sex, do not rely solely on the machinations of your partner to achieve sexual fulfillment. That's why you have the toys, use them while making out! What's the essence of having sex? (note, I didn't say love making), it's simply to get off! So who gives a rat's ass how you come off (am I endorsing homosexual relationships? well, I leave that question for my opponent to answer).

So you can see that a partner who cheats with the excuse that the spouse or significant other is in far yonder lands really has no good excuse (ok, she or he can't touch themselves? it's a sin? but getting dicked or supplying dick to another is not a sin? yeah right!). Other points mentioned by the OP are subsumed in the above save the relocating bit and to that I say this, if you really want to be with someone, really, you'd relocate to hell to be with them!

Spending? Let's not dwell on that, it has been over thrashed already on this forum ala must men spend on women, women are materialistic bla bla bla. Hang out with your girls or male friends (yes they exist, it's not always about kittykats and dicks with some folks. People should really go out more to meet people, you'd be amazed the amount of right tinking folks you'd find out there, people fueled by other desires that are not primarily informed by the anatomy of the sexes!)

With regards to communication, if you were with your partner wouldn't you still communicate irrspective of how tired you are or he is after work? You see, the issue here is seeing this distant relationship thing as a challenge. With that mindset it gets hard to manage. Will he or she not get bored with your long winded talks about whatever if they were seated right next to you? It's same. You do not have to call everyday. Communicate like you'd if the person is next to you. People get bored with their partners even when they are just a street away. There are no absolutes in things such as this, it's all about relativity.

Ok, gotta stop, you got me typing like I have a deadline...

Jadekitana:
I was there before, it's difficult

Jadekitana:
Emmmm your comment was quite lengthy, I read everything though but something got my attention "the use of sexual toys" do you think that's appropriate? I for one prefer the real thing! There's pleasure when your partner holds you and does all the touching and kissing, no satisfaction from toys o! I feel that's even worse, i'm not a fan at all. Vibrators can't be compared to fleshy dicks.

Creamish:
Veeeerrrrryyyyyy difficult. It takes a lot of discipline and determination. Personally, I'd rather not be in one.

HardMirror:
Trust and love you based your points on are the very reasons why long distance relationships can be very painful. I have had several long distance relationships with good ladies and it did not end well. It would most likely work if they get married within a short time, but not a relationship that would run into years.

Creamish:
Veeeerrrrryyyyyy difficult. It takes a lot of discipline and determination. Personally, I'd rather not be in one.

mimzy:
on point. One bottle for you

4C2215131:
Good ladies? A good woman just don't turn bad all of a sudden. An upright nature just doesn't get comporomised easily.

The circumstance doesn't make the man, it reveals the man to his true self. A good woman won't just up and cheat on you irrespective of distance. Worst case scenario, she'd call off the relationship.

You must understand that the true reason folks fear distant relationships is because they fear their partners would cheat on them (we can deny this all we want but it is the primal truth...we can deceive ourselves that's its about needing company, security and whatnot, but in our hearts we know the truth). So if one really trust one's partner, that fear won't be there.

Unfortunately in our climes, I must agree with you that this very vital ingredient (arguably more vital than love itself, though both are siamese twins) is lacking. All we see are brothers with hard-ons by default and sistas on a mission to wreck a man via depleting his financial base via offering up on an alter of satin sheets their dripping kittykats.

So, I'd say play it safe and avoid the long distance thingy if you can't trust your partner.

jaybee3:
uhn?

HardMirror:
I never said the ladies turned bad. The relationship did not work out.

Jadekitana:
Hmmmm it's not so easy o