Eketem:


Sadly we can shout men are bad and wicked from today till next year but if we don't address the root causes where we have some responsibility things won't change

I agree with you that we modern women must not condone bride price been paid for us or our kids. Let's start that revolution and slowly but surely it will catch on


Yes bride price or no bride price a wicked man will treat his wife like trash as long as she allows it but let's remove that excuse form these men. What they bring up immediately equality is mentioned is bride price so it's time to change that

bukatyne:
@postmann:

Stop feeling important

I tagged the two peeps who made me actually start the thread. They felt the culture of women looking up to their husbands as providers was obsolete.

Will get back to your epistle.

#modified:

I was actually expecting more proponents of rigid gender roles.

I think you are mixing up a househusband & a husband who is domesticated.

@Tiwa: there was nothing wrong with him being a 'househusband' till he gets on his feet.

I hate to be a parasite and what is my value if I neither contribute money nor domestics? What value was Teeblizz bringing to the table if he wasn't working and expected Tiwa twisting with Patoranking to cook for him? What was his usefulness?

If you say that a husband is still the 'head' whether he provided or not, then it implies he is still the head househusband or not.

Stay at home moms have more time to take care for themselves and family if they are inclined to. I am trying to understand why a wife must earn if she & hubby believes in strict gender roles.

In the grand scheme of things, whose business is it the way my home is run?

Gbam, so he won't bring in money or help with domestic chores then what's his own contribution to the marriage? That me she's already a single mother so better she kuky lives as one instead of deceiving herself which is the case with many Nigerian women these days

I dont think BP is the main problem
Many Yoruba families now return it back anyway. Mine was and all the trado's ive attended regardless of the side had the BP returned.

Regards lists, the husbands family just bring yams, drinks, fruits etc for the engagement and when they are leaving the wifes family give them gifts too, plus the wife's family entertain the husbands family for both introduction and the engagement.

If you come from a richer family than your partners, the richer family takes most of the responsibility of the wedding anyway, regardless of if its the male or the female.

The problem in my opinion starts long before then. From when the man is cajoled into buying expensive phones, taking her and her friends out for meals, paying school fees and buying handouts and paying for brazillian hair. The mentality that the man must provide endlessly even whilst courting or he is called aka gum.

The problem starts from when the woman turns him into her pocket money machine and calls him maga.
Respect for her was lost a long time ago, but the man has to marry and out of all of them, she was the best cook and most decent.

Bad or good marriages did not start on the wedding day; they started during courtship. The seeds were planted a long time ago.

tearoses:
I dont think BP is the main problem
Many Yoruba families now return it back anyway. Mine was and all the trado's ive attended regardless of the side had the BP returned.
Regards lists, the husbands family just bring yams, drinks, fruits etc for the engagement and when they are leaving the wifes family give them gifts too, plus the wife's family entertain the husbands family for both introduction and the engagement.
If you come from a richer family than your partners, the richer family takes most of the responsibility of the wedding anyway, regardless of if its the male or the female.
The problem in my opinion starts long before then. From when the man is cajoled into buying expensive phones, taking her and her friends out for meals, paying school fees and buying handouts and paying for brazillian hair. The mentality that the man must provide endlessly even whilst courting or he is called aka gum.
The problem starts from when the woman turns him into her pocket money machine and calls him maga.
Respect for her was lost a long time ago, but the man has to marry and out of all of them, she was the best cook and most decent.
Bad or good marriages did not start on the wedding day; they started during courtship. The seeds were planted a long time ago.

It is a major problem. Beyond Yoruba land in other cultures it is very very bad.

Go offline speak to the local man offline ask him why he won't share house chores with his wife and more often than not the answer would be " a woman I married with my money " it doesn't matter how high or low the amount is it is the significance.


Bride price doesn't serve any purpose in modern day, it had a purpose during our parents time

Eketem:



It is a major problem. Beyond Yoruba land in other cultures it is very very bad.

Go offline speak to the local man offline ask him why he won't share house chores with his wife and more often than not the answer would be " a woman I married with my money " it doesn't matter how high or low the amount is it is the significance.


Bride price doesn't serve any purpose in modern day, it had a purpose during our parents time

I agree that in some areas the bride price is crippling
But when a man says a woman that I married with my own money, I think he is referring to all the money he has spent on so many different things over the period that he has known the woman and not just the bride price.
Some parents even unashamedly ask their sons-in-laws for things. Things they wont even ask their own sons.

I also think that the men who don't do any housework are just those kinds of people and its not because they are providers
Many men provide and still do housework
Some dont provide and still expect that their wives do everything
Some of it is upbringing and background
Some are just spoilt and just plain lazy
A man who cooked very well as a bachelor & was very house proud will not suddenly develop kitchen aversion when he gets married.

bukatyne:
@postmann:

Stop feeling important

I tagged the two peeps who made me actually start the thread. They felt the culture of women looking up to their husbands as providers was obsolete.

Will get back to your epistle.

#modified:

I was actually expecting more proponents of rigid gender roles.

I think you are mixing up a househusband & a husband who is domesticated.
[quote author=bukatyne post=45597137]
@Tiwa: there was nothing wrong with him being a 'househusband' till he gets on his feet.

In as much as I really don't fancy talking about the lives of married couples, let me just say this; from the little I read, Blizz was the manager, getting her contracts and all that. So he was gainfully employed, however bad a manager he was notwithstanding.

But we all know the lives of celebrities. We all know the hardest test for mankind is to successfully manage wealth and fame. So I believed she forgot the Tiwa on stage was only a myth, a stage act with camera rays and lenses projecting a shadowy substance of what she isn't. She forgot she was a wife. Probably.

bukatyne:

I hate to be a parasite and what is my value if I neither contribute money nor domestics? What value was Teeblizz bringing to the table if he wasn't working and expected Tiwa twisting with Patoranking to cook for him? What was his usefulness?

He wasn't a parasite. He was her manager. Managers do a lot in managing their artists. Or maybe you were expecting him to be a Don Jazzy or make his earnings in a completely separate venture from hers.

bukatyne:

If you say that a husband is still the 'head' whether he provided or not, then it implies he is still the head househusband or not.

Was president Jonathan the head of the Ijaws even when he was president? Being arguably the richest and most influential didn't make him the head of the ijaws, rather the head was Edwin Clark.

A child may become educated and richer than his uneducated father, but he cannot usurp his father's role as the head.

And yes, a wife earning more than her husband by no means make her the head. And if you want it in a stronger phrase; women and leadership make a poor couple.

bukatyne:

Stay at home moms have more time to take care for themselves and family if they are inclined to. I am trying to understand why a wife must earn if she & hubby believes in strict gender roles.

Don't allow the modern day working settings becloud you, my dear. From the earliest of times, women have always worked and contributed in small scales to their families. From weaving to light farming. And when they inherited fortunes from their fathers, it became their husbands'.

Women contributing to the homes financially or materially has always been. But until the feminist uprising it was never seen as an avenue for authority usurpation.

bukatyne:

In the grand scheme of things, whose business is it the way my home is run?

The woman is the manageress of the home. Be her the president of the Federal Republic Nigeria and her husband a stay at home, good-for-nothing retrograde.

tearoses:


I agree that in some areas the bride price is crippling
But when a man says a woman that I married with my own money, I think he is referring to all the money he has spent on so many different things over the period that he has known the woman and not just the bride price.
Some parents even unashamedly ask their sons-in-laws for things. Things they wont even ask their own sons.

I also think that the men who don't do any housework are just those kinds of people and its not because they are providers
Many men provide and still do housework
Some dont provide and still expect that their wives do everything
Some of it is upbringing and background
Some are just spoilt and just plain lazy
A man who cooked very well as a bachelor & was very house proud will not suddenly develop kitchen aversion when he gets married.

I understand all that but if we want men to be less traditional we have to start from the basics.

What purpose does the bride price serve in modern day?

It served a purpose in the days of our fathers getting a woman to have kids for you and tend to domestic chores, now things have changed why do we hold on?

Eketem:


I understand all that but if we want men to be less traditional we have to start from the basics.

What purpose does the bride price serve in modern day?

It served a purpose in the days of our fathers getting a woman to have kids for you and tend to domestic chores, now things have changed why do we hold on?

If you removed Bride Price, he would still find another reason to beat his wife and push her head down to the floor. Even men who did only Registry marriage are refusing to do house chores.

And my culture, my bride price was small (we are not Yoruba). I will allow bride price to be paid on my daughter. It is a cultural thing and I am someone who wants to encourage parts of her culture to live (language and customs). We were brought to love the little parts of our culture we knew (back I buy statues and artworks that people see as fetish). If I had seen any case where a bride price determined how a man treated a woman, I'd be all for abolishment. But it's not. When men complain about money, they speak of the whole sum: schoolfees, dates, gifts. Like Tearoses said, it starts way before the wedding day.

Men will always find an excuse not to do something they don't want to do. It has more to do with their upbringing. I have a mother who will expect a DiL to assume a traditional role when she comes to visit (kitchen-wise) whilst my MiL has told me "you're only in the kitchen because I'm here and what people will say" . My brothers are a perfect example of different mentalities: one will refuse to wash his own plates after eating, another one washes up after his girlfriend and has vacuumed her house before without dying. One feels I'm too modern in my ways (and hoped marriage would change me), the other said I was very traditional (and hoped marriage would make me loosen up).

Even in our parents' time, some father's cooked (my dad taught me how to get eggs and he would be in his 80s) and some fathers only saw their kitchens when they went into the place to change a lightbulb.

Eketem:


I understand all that but if we want men to be less traditional we have to start from the basics.

What purpose does the bride price serve in modern day?

It served a purpose in the days of our fathers getting a woman to have kids for you and tend to domestic chores, now things have changed why do we hold on?

I am not saying hold on to bride price
what im saying is that there are other things that can cause a man to feel that he has "bought" his wife
Brideprice is just one thing and as I have explained the Yorubas dont even embrace this bride price thing all that much

In the Indian culture the wifes family pay the husband, yet Indian women are treated like second class citizens
Many of their men dont lift a finger either.
Personally I think its much deeper than brideprice

tearoses:


I am not saying hold on to bride price
what im saying is that there are other things that can cause a man to feel that he has "bought" his wife
Brideprice is just one thing and as I have explained the Yorubas dont even embrace this bride price thing all that much

In the Indian culture the wifes family pay the husband, yet Indian women are treated like second class citizens
Many of their men dont lift a finger either.
Personally I think its much deeper than brideprice

I don't know about Indian culture but our fore fathers paid for women's heads so they could own them and have them do domestic chores and have kids and raise the kids.


If that has changed then we should consider changing the tradition that was created for the purpose of having women do these tasks

Mindfulness:


Do we need an excuse so that men clean after themselves?

The only thing you should be bothered about is, does your husband clean up after himself?

I'm almost sure no woman has ever come to complain to you that her husband doesn't clean up after himself even when he doesn't.

Do you know why?

I'll tell you:
It's because most women will not fuss or make a big deal out of it just to keep the peace...and by most women, I mean all of you that have been in that position and present on this thread.

@ Mindfulness

I've read that article you posted on the Gates, and though I wanted to click on the link, I relented cos I already saw what I was looking for - it will surprise you to learn that you put in bold exactly what I will use to discredit your motive for bringing up the article in the first place.

I like how you try to research articles and use them to back up your arguments, but you almost always fail to read between the lines of your own 'posted articles'.

This was the first paragraph:
When Melinda Gates found that time and time again she was the last one in the kitchen after dinner, finishing off the clearing up, she didn’t simply wring her hands in frustration, she laid down the law: “Nobody leaves the kitchen until mom leaves the kitchen.” And that was that.

I put just that line in bold because it's obvious you missed how that rule was made for her children, not her husband.

In another paragraph:
So does Bill pull his weight and do his fair share of household chores? "He’s not much of a cook but he’s really good at doing dishes," she reveals (Bill admits in the letter that he can do "tomato soup" but not much else). And he does the school run too, inadvertently encouraging other dads at his daughter's school to follow suit after the mums went home to their husbands and said: "if Bill Gates can drive his daughter to school, so can you".

He's not much of a cook but he's good at doing dishes - this is not saying he does the dishes, I hope you get it?
If her children already spend all that time in the kitchen with mommy, what and whose dishes will Bill be doing?


You somehow missed the point of the article by a mile, lol.. The article isn't about domesticating one's husband, but about teaching children and the next generation why it will be good to have an all-hands-on-deck approach to housework.

But of course, are you not Mindfulness again..

My advice to men is to be careful and endeavor to iron out issues before they settle down with a woman.

There is an ongoing culture where women do not see any wrong in providing for the home as long as the man is ready to wash dishes, mop the floor, and do other household activities.

A man is made the HEAD and no amount of globalization can change that. If your husband is broke, the ideal thing is to help him out (get a job or establish him), do not think it is wise for you to stand as the provider while your husband take the chores.

My own understanding of marriage is instituted by God, that's why people like me accept the principles of Church wedding.

It is on record that the coalition of Satan with Eve is what led to the fall of ADAM. The same Satan through the activities of Jezebel instituted majority of the sexual sins in the world today (e.g. gay marriage, lesbianism, etc.).

Noteworthy is the fact that the same sets of people who support same-sex marriage are the same people behind feminism, and the belief that a woman can work while the husband handles chores.

The question then is: WHY ARE WE SUDDENLY REVERSING the values and heritage of our fathers that made their marriages stand strong till death??

What is wrong in a man being the HEAD, and the woman the HELPER as instituted by the principles of Church marriage??

What is wrong with "you people"?

@ Mindfulness

Melinda Gates has grown kids that can assist with the chores as they should, I had my fair share of chores too growing up.
This isn't the point of this thread.

The thread is hinged on the context of a husband and wife with no kids (or grown kids) involved... is that not it, or did I miss anything?

And if this is the case, what then is the reason for this noise about 'when a woman contributes financially, her husband 'must' contribute domestically'..

1.) Exactly how many dishes, cups, trays, and spoons will she be washing that has now become too much work?
2.) Exactly how much food will she be preparing that becomes too much work? For just two people oo plus maybe a little child that can't even finish one sachet of indomie...lol
3.) How much clutter and dirt will a family of just a husband and wife produce that will become too much work to handle?

If one's husband is someone that doesn't clean up after himself, what does that say about the woman that married him?
Why the sudden complain?

A lot of men do many different things that can be classified as a chore in the home, they do it because they already used to doing it and probably enjoy doing it and they won't make a fuss over it.

But when a wife starts telling her husband " hey bae, you know I contribute financially so you will/must contribute with chores", na there pesin dey find trouble.

You will not force a man to do what he hasn't been doing or enjoyed doing before.
If you doubt me, try it with your partners and come tell us the events that will follow.

sweetcocoa:
I agree it should be abolished you this crackhead, I am just telling you that, whether abolished or not, it almost changes nothing as it is not the root of the problem but yea, let's not argue.

It changes a lot.

The way most Nigerian girls and women depend on the finances of men is enough for these men to want to claim right over them...but you females will never understand this.

Y'all always want to emulate and imitate the white woman in her struggle for equality and chants of feminism, forgetting that you both come from totally different places - completely different mentality that will never meet for a very long time to come.

The average western woman is an independent woman, she doesn't need her boyfriend's or sugar-daddy's financial input before she can make an expensive hair, go to a fancy restaurant and split the bills or own an expensive Michael Kors time piece or handbag.
The average Nigerian woman is the opposite - this is not much of a bad thing as men have learnt that this is the way y'all are and we live with it.
But don't just all of a sudden start talking about equality unto say wetin happen. Where and when did a Nigerian woman start practicing true equality?


A few weeks ago I was having a conversation with a female friend, and as a very saucy chic she showed me her new iPhone 6 combined with the S6 Edge she now uses and was like 'how come I'm still on the 5' and bla bla bla - it was just light fun though, we play like that...lol.

All I did was ask her one question for her face to change.
I asked, "which of these two phones did you buy with your money?" lol..
That was the end of her noise o, and it's not like she doesn't have a job. She works and earns a living but like most Nigerian women, y'all prefer to have a man buy those expensive shiit for you than get it on your own budget.

And that's the point.
It will take a while for a lot of Nigerian men to start seeing women on a completely equal footing, no thanks to scores of your sisters doing you proud.

Linda Ikeji bought a bag and people were lambasting her that it's a fake just because she bought it with her money - if to say na one man buy am for am, the 'fakeness' will not even be thrown into the mix...it will be "oh, the man wey buy that bag for you go don tia tia your pvssy oo"

This is how women have given themselves a certain image as far as Nigeria is concerned.


Anyway, make una keep up with una equality fight oo, but don't rush it - what you need is total mental reconditioning and not just awareness.

Very interesting thread.
I think all these is influenced by the Society, upbringing and most importantly the people involved.
When a man helps his wife with domestic chores in whatever form it might be, he is perceived as a woma. wrapper or some people will even say he has been bewitched.
Some people don't let their male children cook, wash plates, sweep or even fetch water, just eat and go and start playing football or go play in a neighbours house while his sisters do the chores, so he would naturally see helping out his wife with chores as beneath him.

Like there was this male neighbour of mine in the face-me- I slap you, I lived in school. I always feel nauseated when he is having a call with his gf, like if he is washing his clothes, he would be telling her 'you know what I'm doing is your job', or how he can't wait to be married, so he wouldn't have to do all these anymore (like he couldn't wait to have his own personal slave to clean up after him and cook for him), and this is someone always making noise about never marrying a liability, how his wife must bring something to the table yet he is already dreaming of putting his own chores on her shoulders.


About the bride price stuff, in as much as I see no reason for it since some people use this as an excuse to maltreat their wives. But I say, it really doesn't matter as it depends more on the individuals involved.
I have a very close family friend, the bride's wife charged the groom's family well, the anchors of the wedding also did their own plus we had to travel a bit far for the wedding but the man treats his wife like an egg. He is a medical Dr so has a busy job but whenever he is around they do everything together, he can pound yam while she makes the soup. You will wish to go and get married when around them. They are like two friends living together. And the wife doesn't even have a job yet.



And there is another couple (I've said this story before on here), the wife only took the Holy Book from him and they didn't have any flamboyant wedding.
The woman has 2 kids, does all the house chores and still contributes to the family's finance. She resumes 7:30 am to work while the husband resumes, 9-10am. She was late for work and asked the husband to help in feeding their baby while she finishes up other chores and her dressing, the man asked her if he looks like a nanny husband and refused to feed his own baby like this will reduce his manliness. At the end of the day, the Proprietor of the school noticing the woman's countenance was the one that fed the child.

That is the terrible mentality some men have. So even if you get married to such men without bride price, he might only see the wife like someone pointed out as a.
'cheaper slave '

crackhaus:

It changes a lot.

The way most Nigerian girls and women depend on the finances of men is enough for these men to want to claim right over them...but you females will never understand this.

Y'all always want to emulate and imitate the white woman in her struggle for equality and chants of feminism, forgetting that you both come from totally different places - completely different mentality that will never meet for a very long time to come.

The average western woman is an independent woman, she doesn't need her boyfriend's or sugar-daddy's financial input before she can make an expensive hair, go to a fancy restaurant and split the bills or own an expensive Michael Kors time piece or handbag.
The average Nigerian woman is the opposite - this is not much of a bad thing as men have learnt that this is the way y'all are and we live with it.
But don't just all of a sudden start talking about equality unto say wetin happen. Where and when did a Nigerian woman start practicing true equality?


A few weeks ago I was having a conversation with a female friend, and as a very saucy chic she showed me her new iPhone 6 combined with the S6 Edge she now uses and was like 'how come I'm still on the 5' and bla bla bla - it was just light fun though, we play like that...lol.

All I did was ask her one question for her face to change.
I asked, "which of these two phones did you buy with your money?" lol..
That was the end of her noise o, and it's not like she doesn't have a job. She works and earns a living but like most Nigerian women, y'all prefer to have a man buy those expensive shiit for you than get it on your own budget.

And that's the point.
It will take a while for a lot of Nigerian men to start seeing women on a completely equal footing, no thanks to scores of your sisters doing you proud.

Linda Ikeji bought a bag and people were lambasting her that it's a fake just because she bought it with her money - if to say na one man buy am for am, the 'fakeness' will not even be thrown into the mix...it will be "oh, the man wey buy that bag for you go don tia tia your pvssy oo"

This is how women have given themselves a certain image as far as Nigeria is concerned.


Anyway, make una keep up with una equality fight oo, but don't rush it - what you need is total mental reconditioning and not just awareness.

Sadly I agree with you about women depending on a man's finance a lot in nigeria but you must know that, these men and women have some sort of arrangement, where the man mostly pays and the woman does all his chores/is almost always at his beck and call, she gives something in return, so you see? It's a trade by barter sort of thing.

If we are to judge based on him spending on her, how about all she does for him?

Please note that I am not in support of this practice, just stating the obvious.

sweetcocoa:
Sadly I agree with you about women depending on a man's finance a lot in nigeria but you must know that, these men and women have some sort of arrangement, where the man mostly pays and the woman does all his chores/is almost always at his beck and call, she gives something in return, so you see? It's a trade by barter sort of thing.

If we are to judge based on him spending on her, how about all she does for him?

Please note that I am not in support of this practice, just stating the obvious.

Lol, you still not getting the koko of all that gist I put up there. The problem is mentality, and that is what y'all should be trying to repair...not the consequences.
You don't solve a problem from the top down.

The mentality is an all-inclusive process starting from the fact that most Nigerian women tend to depend on a man's finances.
There is no arrangement, you know why? Because if it's an arrangement, then a women can also choose to be the one providing the finances while men do all the other stuff in return.

Lol, but who are we kidding here? How many Nigerian women will agree to that arrangement of being the one paying for everything and buying his phones and accessories?
Nada!

It is not trade by barter: in trade-by-barter, you offer something for an equivalent amount in weight in complete exchange...this is how trade-by-barter works.
When one person is spending the money, and all the girl or woman does is to have sex (which she also enjoys), cook meals (that she will also eat from), bathing/raising/attending to a child (that is also hers), tell me how exactly you want to quantify all this as an equal weight in proportion to money when she's also gaining from what she was supposedly offering in return?

The whole thing is skewed in favour of men at the end of the day whether we admit it or not - even if a woman says she won't do all this for a man, the man can go out and meet 10 other women willing to do all of it and much more...but the woman will not easily see 5 men willing to splurge finances on her just like that.

Mindfulness:


The statement is somewhat illogical.

If the couple shares the bills, the husband does not need to provide as much as he would have to if he had to provide alone. It doesn't mean he slacks or is reluctant.

Such couples have more money on average and invest more, be it in a bigger house, new properties, dream holidays or you name it. They may also decide to save.

I believe that most husbands whose wives contribute do not slack or become reluctant or lazy but make the best out of the wife's contribution. Well, this would be common sense, I guess.

When the couple dont share bills the husband was probably killing himself working all round the clock 16hrs per day but his wife starts to work and he cuts down to 8hrs per day to have a better and longer life

But to these women that means he is slacking he isnt bringing in as much and now making the wife spend her hard earned money on her family instead of on herself

That is an example of the man slacking

bukatyne:
1. Yes, you got me. Got it from my colleagues though I think it is very strange. They had examples in and out of the office sha

2. Those duties are really not part of the domestics and does not occur frequently.

3. I so agree with you that's why I feel the traditional method especially when the wife equally works is bullshit.

Things like weeding the environment, electrical fixes, mechanical fixes should this be part of a domestic duties too? Or do these duties get shared?

When it comes to finances, Its I want a traditional man who works and fend for his family, when it comes to domestic duties, Its I want a modern man who cooks and clean

These roles OP is talking about starts from when they are young and women are taught they are the inferior ones, the ones that should be allowed to sit first, enter vehicle first. who can hit people without any repercussion If they were equal why would anyone need to stand up or enter before anyone?

Then into teenage, men are given physically harder stuffs to do than women because they are women and men take the hit.

When dating the man is expected to woo, then spend all he has to get the girl, in a typical Nigerian setting the spending while dating is usually 90% from the mans side

The proposal in most cases is expected to be done by the men and most of the spending even for the wedding

So they get into the wedding the cry for equality starts. The same equality they never cared about at any point in their life when it comes to carrying heavy weights, relationship spending, dong tough courses in school. AT that time all you hear is "Are you not the man"

crackhaus:

Lol, you still not getting the koko of all that gist I put up there. The problem is mentality, and that is what y'all should be trying to repair...not the consequences.
You don't solve a problem from the top down.

The mentality is an all-inclusive process starting from the fact that most Nigerian women tend to depend on a man's finances.
There is no arrangement, you know why? Because if it's an arrangement, then a women can also choose to be the one providing the finances while men do all the other stuff in return.

Lol, but who are we kidding here? How many Nigerian women will agree to that arrangement of being the one paying for everything and buying his phones and accessories?
Nada!

It is not trade by barter: in trade-by-barter, you offer something for an equivalent amount in weight in complete exchange...this is how trade-by-barter works.
When one person is spending the money, and all the girl or woman does is to have sex (which she also enjoys), cook meals (that she will also eat from), bathing/raising/attending to a child (that is also hers), tell me how exactly you want to quantify all this as an equal weight in proportion to money when she's also gaining from what she was supposedly offering in return?

The whole thing is skewed in favour of men at the end of the day whether we admit it or not - even if a woman says she won't do all this for a man, the man can go out and meet 10 other women willing to do all of it and much more...but the woman will not easily see 5 men willing to splurge finances on her just like that.

I give up.

I am happy my life no dey like that sha and that of my daughters will definitely not be.

Shaybebaby my lesbo partner, how are you today? I've missed you boo.

sweetcocoa:
Shaybebaby my lesbo partner, how are you today? I've missed you boo.

I swear you always make me laugh out loud.
I'm good hun, just on mellow mode and dreaming of freedom in two weeks.
Then, I'll be stuck on you like white on rice, ready to create some mayhem.

How have you been jare? If na to say you were closer, would have been organising drinks with you. Karaoke Dey today?

shaybebaby:

I swear you always make me laugh out loud.
I'm good hun, just on mellow mode and dreaming of freedom in two weeks.
Then, I'll be stuck on you like white on rice, ready to create some mayhem.

How have you been jare? If na to say you were closer, would have been organising drinks with you. Karaoke Dey today?

You make me laugh too and have I told you, you make my heart beat faster? What's happening? Could this be love?

Please hurry and come be stuck on me o, I need that so much, we gon leave some people comatose

Been aite, the past week was kinda stressful but good, no karaoke today, I'm thinking club but not confirmed yet. I wish you were here too, woulda gone together, grind up on ya baby.

sweetcocoa:
You make me laugh too and have I told you, you make my heart beat faster? What's happening? Could this be love?

Please hurry and come be stuck on me o, I need that so much, we gon leave some people comatose

Been aite, the past week was kinda stressful but good, no karaoke today, I'm thinking club but not confirmed yet. I wish you were here too, woulda gone together, grind up on ya baby.

You want to kill peeps on nairaland today . Let's go there.
Awww, I'm sorry your week was stressful. I'm good at curing stress, cook a nice meal, bottlessssss of vino on tap and some booty shaking music on and we would dance the night away.

For real though, it's a been a while I've been out on the tiles with my gillies, would be just the ticket. But make sure you go get your groove on, YOLO. What you thinking of wearing? My girl better be looking bangin.

shaybebaby:

You want to kill peeps on nairaland today . Let's go there.
Awww, I'm sorry your week was stressful. I'm good at curing stress, cook a nice meal, bottlessssss of vino on tap and some booty shaking music on and we would dance the night away.

For real though, it's a been a while I've been out on the tiles with my gillies, would be just the ticket. But make sure you go get your groove on, YOLO. What you thinking of wearing? My girl better be looking bangin.

Let them die finish, na them sabi.

Dang! You such a sweetheart, tell me, what else do I need when I gat you taking care of me like this?

I definitely plan on it, I'm gon really let my hair down tonight. I'm pairing a crop top with high waist denim bumshot, finishing it off with a pair of yeezy sneakers. You know the bod on your girl is hot, wanna show some skin tonight.

sweetcocoa:
Let them die finish, na them sabi.

Dang! You such a sweetheart, tell me, what else do I need when I gat you taking care of me like this?

I definitely plan on it, I'm gon really let my hair down tonight. I'm pairing a crop top with high waist denim bumshot, finishing it off with a pair of yeezy sneakers. You know the bod on your girl is hot, wanna show some skin tonight.

You think we care if you live out your sexual fantasies? Both of you can eat the devil out of yourself for all we care.

Btw, how old are you? 20?

sweetcocoa:
Let them die finish, na them sabi.

Dang! You such a sweetheart, tell me, what else do I need when I gat you taking care of me like this?

I definitely plan on it, I'm gon really let my hair down tonight. I'm pairing a crop top with high waist denim bumshot, finishing it off with a pair of yeezy sneakers. You know the bod on your girl is hot, wanna show some skin tonight.

Hot daaaayuuuuuum!!!! Girl's going to be smoking hawt..(ouch!!! Burned my fingers on my phone, too much hotness radiating through it ). If you've got it, flaunt it..I got ya back hunni.

I'm well jel, I wanna party too. We have to sort something out, I have the whole summer to kill.

Bolade005:

You think we care if you live out your sexual fantasies? Both of you can eat the devil out of yourself for all we care.

Btw, how old are you? 20?

Waka pass. Amebo.

Bolade005:

You think we care if you live out your sexual fantasies? Both of you can eat the devil out of yourself for all we care.

Btw, how old are you? 20?

If you no care, why not face front? Anybody call you? Amebo.

17.

shaybebaby:

Waka pass. Amebo.

You're the one up in my business, I don't remember quoting or mentioning you so you should swerve.