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How Do I Deal With This?( Mature Advice) - Romance (2) - Nairaland

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Re: How Do I Deal With This?( Mature Advice) by Nobody: 11:31pm On Jun 04, 2016
chisco82:

Same reason ur sister rejected him should be ur answer.
Lol!
I forgot to ask, did you really pray about this?
The person u hate much, no feelling for might be the one God has ordained for you.
Plz pray much about him, don't just rely on feellings and what ur sister said about him.
Every human being has a past and weakness, most times God connect both together so they can cover their their weaknesses.
You have a point! Thank you once more! smiley

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Re: How Do I Deal With This?( Mature Advice) by Menzy86(m): 11:34pm On Jun 04, 2016
Ignoring someone sends a powerful message. It works well in getting pestering girls off ur back (frm my experience) and should work d oda way too. But ma dear 10-15 years aint much gap in a marriage o. Imagine u @30 n ur hubby @45. U guys wont look much different. Change ur perception about rship being a "waste of time" unless u intend going to d convent at some point in ur life (since u r a catholic).

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Re: How Do I Deal With This?( Mature Advice) by Esumai(m): 11:34pm On Jun 04, 2016
There is nothing wrong with getting married to someone much older that you... My dear if he is single, a graduate, working, good looking, God fearing, just put him in prayer or better tell ur pastor to take charge! Your sister cannot tell you whom or whom not to marry. I wish you the best of Luck dear... Whatsapp Me in case U needed more advice! 08039487049

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Re: How Do I Deal With This?( Mature Advice) by Nobody: 12:13am On Jun 05, 2016
Esumai:
There is nothing wrong with getting married to someone much older that you... My dear if he is single, a graduate, working, good looking, God fearing, just put him in prayer or better tell ur pastor to take charge! Your sister cannot tell you whom or whom not to marry. I wish you the best of Luck dear... Whatsapp Me in case U needed more advice! 08039487049
Thankyou sir. God bless. cheesy

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Re: How Do I Deal With This?( Mature Advice) by Nobody: 12:26am On Jun 05, 2016
Menzy86:
Ignoring someone sends a powerful message. It works well in getting pestering girls off ur back (frm my experience) and should work d oda way too. But ma dear 10-15 years aint much gap in a marriage o. Imagine u @30 n ur hubby @45. U guys wont look much different. Change ur perception about rship being a "waste of time" unless u intend going to d convent at some point in ur life (since u r a catholic).

Thanks for that advice but I never said relationship is a waste of time,I am simply of the belief that one should date when they are ready to settle down. Probably cos i dont want to be in a sex-and-money arrangement that is familiar with our modern dating scenarios. My opinion though.
Re: How Do I Deal With This?( Mature Advice) by mikolo80: 2:18am On Jun 05, 2016
Trina0936:

Sorry what you blabbering? undecided
many like you. time go come you go find this guy you no go see.
Re: How Do I Deal With This?( Mature Advice) by Holywizard: 6:49am On Jun 05, 2016
chisco82:
Hm! How? Lets hear from a prophet grin grin grin
u really need to understand some tins.
Re: How Do I Deal With This?( Mature Advice) by Menzy86(m): 9:57am On Jun 05, 2016
Trina0936:

Thanks for that advice but I never said relationship is a waste of time,I am simply of the belief that one should date when they are ready to settle down. Probably cos i dont want to be in a sex-and-money arrangement that is familiar with our modern dating scenarios. My opinion though.
U have a good point but ma dear when u r ready to settle down n u decide to only take dating seriously, u may find out many variables u have to juggle with which can be overwhelming. Truth of d matter is u can hardly make a mistake in your choice if u already know somthn about handling a serious rship. Summary: get attracted and get involved while upholding your values as an individual. Only helps u in d end.

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Re: How Do I Deal With This?( Mature Advice) by Nobody: 10:27am On Jun 05, 2016
Menzy86:
U have a good point but ma dear when u r ready to settle down n u decide to only take dating seriously, u may find out many variables u have to juggle with which can be overwhelming. Truth of d matter is u can hardly make a mistake in your choice if u already know somthn about handling a serious rship. Summary: get attracted and get involved while upholding your values as an individual. Only helps u in d end.
Happy Sunday!
Thanks for that advice but I have had some experiences in the past both good and bad. So I know what I really need to be happy.
I am happy with keeping friends who share same interests with me. Like I said,when I am ready to settle down,I can then get involved with a man who is also ready. It's just a matter of getting one's priorities straight!
Re: How Do I Deal With This?( Mature Advice) by Nobody: 10:30am On Jun 05, 2016
mikolo80:
many like you. time go come you go find this guy you no go see.
My dear you should know that we are not in the stone age and although this is Africa,I have better achievements to attain before settling down. Marriage isn't a priority for every modern woman.
Re: How Do I Deal With This?( Mature Advice) by Menzy86(m): 2:32pm On Jun 05, 2016
Trina0936:

Happy Sunday!
Thanks for that advice but I have had some experiences in the past both good and bad. So I know what I really need to be happy.
I am happy with keeping friends who share same interests with me. Like I said,when I am ready to settle down,I can then get involved with a man who is also ready. It's just a matter of getting one's priorities straight!
U sound ready already. Happy sunday to u too. NB: the catholic part made me more concerned. I'm catholic too.

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Re: How Do I Deal With This?( Mature Advice) by mikolo80: 5:51pm On Jun 05, 2016
Trina0936:

My dear you should know that we are not in the stone age and although this is Africa,I have better achievements to attain before settling down. Marriage isn't a priority for every modern woman.
trust me nobody wants to be lonely in old age or at least very very very few.In fact apart from reverend fathers and sisters and even they need Holy Spirit just to stay sane. after oyinbo have deceived you with female activism, by the time you realise that you want somebody to welcome you home everyday, that has your back, it's too late cos your eggs and looks have expired. sorry but it's the truth, ugly as it sounds. 21 St century o stone age o man is still a social animal. I'm not saying you must marry someone you not attracted to but realise one day age will not be on your side. come Yankee come hear lamentations of so called successful women.
Re: How Do I Deal With This?( Mature Advice) by Nobody: 6:21pm On Jun 05, 2016
mikolo80:
trust me nobody wants to be lonely in old age or at least very very very few.In fact apart from reverend fathers and sisters and even they need Holy Spirit just to stay sane. after oyinbo have deceived you with female activism, by the time you realise that you want somebody to welcome you home everyday, that has your back, it's too late cos your eggs and looks have expired. sorry but it's the truth, ugly as it sounds. 21 St century o stone age o man is still a social animal. I'm not saying you must marry someone you not attracted to but realise one day age will not be on your side. come Yankee come hear lamentations of so called successful women.
Every one is different. You don't even know my age so please spare me the pep talk,we have heard it countless times! Some persons are happy being single,take it or leave it.
Re: How Do I Deal With This?( Mature Advice) by mikolo80: 6:47pm On Jun 05, 2016
Trina0936:

Every one is different. You don't even know my age so please spare me the pep talk,we have heard it countless times! Some persons are happy being single,take it or leave it.
na so one 62 year old baba ask one girl hand in marriage 9 years ago she no gree say baba too old. now she de find husband upandan at 39.you think you have time ba. don't worry your eye go soon clear. believe I used to be like you but when every guy is running home to their families and I remember my empty house, it's not a nice feeling. but I'm a guy, can always find one smallie willing to live with my old asss. you a woman, you not so desirable in old age. you can still be what you wanna be with the right man beside you. not all men will hinder your success is all were saying but clearly you want to learn the hard way so I won't disturb you again
Re: How Do I Deal With This?( Mature Advice) by DRGREAT(m): 7:22pm On Jun 05, 2016
Trina0936:
So there is this man I have known for like two years now or so. He is actually a tad bit older than I say about 10-12 years difference. He has been pestering me for marriage and the problems are first; I don't have any iota of romantic feeling towards him,secondly,I am not ready to settle down anytime soon and last but not the least,the age gap is a turnoff to me as I prefer guys closer to my age. I even had to lie to him that I am in a serious relationship still dude ain't budging. The interesting part is that this same man had an eye on my elder sister way back before she settled down with my present brother-in-law who also happens to be his former classmate in their secondary school days.
I hate drama and complications and I am an independent by nature kind of lady who is actually happy being single cos I see dating as unnecessary stress which I don't need. I have told my bigsis about him and she said I should keep my distance from him for reasons best known to her. I don't think they had sex though one can't be 100% sure. The man in question is comfortable and has been asking me for my account number so he can send me money and all. I really don't want anything to do with him.
Please,I need mature advice on how to make him get off my case completely.
Please,no insult oh na advice I ask thankyou!
.simple na...just tell him your story...say you've slept with 62 men, commited 45 abortions which caused the damage of your womb, and that you have spirit husband.And that you are also HIV positive and you are currently having kidney problem that you can only live for a year and 7months...tried and trusted it works like magic...note:when telling him this, better no laugh,BE SERIOUS AND Shed crocodile tears..Good luck!
Re: How Do I Deal With This?( Mature Advice) by Nobody: 7:27pm On Jun 05, 2016
mikolo80:
na so one 62 year old baba ask one girl hand in marriage 9 years ago she no gree say baba too old. now she de find husband upandan at 39.you think you have time ba. don't worry your eye go soon clear. believe I used to be like you but when every guy is running home to their families and I remember my empty house, it's not a nice feeling. but I'm a guy, can always find one smallie willing to live with my old asss. you a woman, you not so desirable in old age. you can still be what you wanna be with the right man beside you. not all men will hinder your success is all were saying but clearly you want to learn the hard way so I won't disturb you again
So because you can't be happy being single doesn't mean others can't. I am not you or the lady in your story. Like I said earlier people are different. Just cos the women you know are marriage-concious doesn't mean everyone is so pls don't quote me again. Thankyou.
Re: How Do I Deal With This?( Mature Advice) by mikolo80: 8:14pm On Jun 05, 2016
Trina0936:

My dear you should know that we are not in the stone age and although this is Africa,I have better achievements to attain before settling down. Marriage isn't a priority for every modern woman.
sorry for breaking my promise I just read this post again and you just confessed to wanting to settle down. it's not easy for old woman unveiled somebody to settle down with o. what do you want to attain that you can't with a partner.? a word is enough for the..... hope you don't regret your decision.
Re: How Do I Deal With This?( Mature Advice) by obyno1011(m): 9:04pm On Jun 05, 2016
Lady, I understand your feeling. Believe me that you are having thoughts about him by sharing. The guy knows you aren't interested in him but keeps making ways to get your acceptance. He may be wrong by asking for marriage when you haven't accepted dating yet.

If I were you, I would sit your sis down and ask her to explain the reasons why she said you shouldn't give him chance. Knowing fully well that she and her husband know the guy well. Hear from them and know more about the guy in question.

About not wanting to date now, its a choice. Just remain a friend and spell it out to him what you you really want now not marriage.

Cheers

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Re: How Do I Deal With This?( Mature Advice) by Nobody: 9:53pm On Jun 05, 2016
mikolo80:
sorry for breaking my promise I just read this post again and you just confessed to wanting to settle down. it's not easy for old woman unveiled somebody to settle down with o. what do you want to attain that you can't with a partner.? a word is enough for the..... hope you don't regret your decision.
That is why I said you do not know my age so why jump to co conclusions?
Re: How Do I Deal With This?( Mature Advice) by Nobody: 9:53pm On Jun 05, 2016
mikolo80:
sorry for breaking my promise I just read this post again and you just confessed to wanting to settle down. it's not easy for old woman unveiled somebody to settle down with o. what do you want to attain that you can't with a partner.? a word is enough for the..... hope you don't regret your decision.
That is why I said you do not know my age so why jump to conclusions? BTW there is a huge difference between married and single statuses! Don't ask me what it is!
Re: How Do I Deal With This?( Mature Advice) by Nobody: 9:57pm On Jun 05, 2016
obyno1011:
Lady, I understand your feeling. Believe me that you are having thoughts about him by sharing. The guy knows you aren't interested in him but keeps making ways to get your acceptance. He may be wrong by asking for marriage when you haven't accepted dating yet.

If I were you, I would sit your sis down and ask her to explain the reasons why she said you shouldn't give him chance. Knowing fully well that she and her husband know the guy well. Hear from them and know more about the guy in question.

About not wanting to date now, its a choice. Just remain a friend and spell it out to him what you you really want now not marriage.

Cheers
Wow! Thankyou so much. This is the best advice so far. smiley Ever thought of being a love doctor? cheesy
Re: How Do I Deal With This?( Mature Advice) by obyno1011(m): 11:04pm On Jun 05, 2016
Trina0936:

Wow! Thankyou so much. This is the best advice so far. smiley Ever thought of being a love doctor? cheesy



You are welcome. I try to help as much as I can. would be a love doctor when I am married and wify is comfortable with it.

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Re: How Do I Deal With This?( Mature Advice) by mikolo80: 11:42pm On Jun 05, 2016
Trina0936:

That is why I said you do not know my age so why jump to conclusions? BTW there is a huge difference between married and single statuses! Don't ask me what it is!
kwatakwata you no fit pass 20.in 9 years you don turn old cargo. me personally I like older girls but baby making block is a reality. so..... just keep it in mind.
Re: How Do I Deal With This?( Mature Advice) by Nobody: 9:13am On Jun 06, 2016
mikolo80:
kwatakwata you no fit pass 20.in 9 years you don turn old cargo. me personally I like older girls but baby making block is a reality. so..... just keep it in mind.
That's your personal view so keep that in mind too! You can convince gullible women not me so keep your views to yourself!
Re: How Do I Deal With This?( Mature Advice) by Nobody: 9:25am On Jun 06, 2016
obyno1011:




You are welcome. I try to help as much as I can. would be a love doctor when I am married and wify is comfortable with it.
Ok. But I meant a relationship/marriage counsellor so you mustn't be married before doing that!
Re: How Do I Deal With This?( Mature Advice) by mikolo80: 1:33pm On Jun 06, 2016
Trina0936:

That's your personal view so keep that in mind too! You can convince gullible women not me so keep your views to yourself!
no no no you mistake me for guys who want to impose their will on women. no my dear I believe you should do what's in your stomach but know the facts before taking decision that was foisted on you by TV and Hollywood (Abi you think it just came to you magically), the fact is most women, most, not all but most regret it. just saying you shouldn't have one track mind. coS there's nothing as sad as a woman that was deceived into a lifetime of sadness
Re: How Do I Deal With This?( Mature Advice) by Nobody: 9:08pm On Jun 06, 2016
mikolo80:
no no no you mistake me for guys who want to impose their will on women. no my dear I believe you should do what's in your stomach but know the facts before taking decision that was foisted on you by TV and Hollywood (Abi you think it just came to you magically), the fact is most women, most, not all but most regret it. just saying you shouldn't have one track mind. coS there's nothing as sad as a woman that was deceived into a lifetime of sadness
It wasn't foisted on me by Nollywood or TV. It is a personal decision! Deal with it and stop trying to impose your chauvinistic views on me! The fact? Where did you get your statistics from? Abi you have met all the single women in Nigeria?! undecided
Re: How Do I Deal With This?( Mature Advice) by mikolo80: 11:41pm On Jun 06, 2016
Trina0936:

It wasn't foisted on me by Nollywood or TV. It is a personal decision! Deal with it and stop trying to impose your chauvinistic views on me! The fact? Where did you get your statistics from? Abi you have met all the single women in Nigeria?! undecided
ah sorry ma. no vex. make I carry my smelly mouth go.thank you for your time.sorry for disturbing you
Re: How Do I Deal With This?( Mature Advice) by Nobody: 3:46am On Jun 07, 2016
mikolo80:
ah sorry ma. no vex. make I carry my smelly mouth go.thank you for your time.sorry for disturbing you
You are welcome anytime. Nothing better than constructive argument. undecided
Re: How Do I Deal With This?( Mature Advice) by Nobody: 8:14pm On Jun 07, 2016
Trina0936:

Well.........that's just my opinion,guess you feel same way about dating.
It sounded funny. Well, it depends on whom you're dating. My current gf for instance is quite matured so it ain't stress to me.

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Re: How Do I Deal With This?( Mature Advice) by Nobody: 8:20pm On Jun 07, 2016
MasterRahl:
It sounded funny. Well, it depends on whom you're dating. My current gf for instance is quite matured so it ain't stress to me.
Trust me when I say it has nothing to do with maturity. Also,you are not a female so I barely expect you to understand my point! undecided
Re: How Do I Deal With This?( Mature Advice) by Nobody: 8:48pm On Jun 07, 2016
Trina0936:

Trust me when I say it has nothing to do with maturity. Also,you are not a female so I barely expect you to understand my point! undecided
Noted.

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