₦airaland Forum

trollolololol:
You’ve had enough of this shiit. You and your bros are at the bar just having a quiet little evening chugging some good beer and discussing money when you feel the vibration in your pocket. It’s a text message from your fuccking slam piece. “Where R you?? I thought we were supposed to hang out tonight!!” Bleep this bitch. You guys have been banging for the past two months and in a drunken moment of insanity, you actually agreed to the ultimate bro hell: a relationship. Ever since then she’s been crazy as Bleep. She tries to get you to meet all her friends, hang out before midnight, and even be seen at bars together. And worst of all, she expects you to be sober the entire time. This shiit just isn’t cutting it – you’re a fuccking bro – you weren’t meant to live in society’s fuccking cage of monogamy. As you read the text message you snap – tonight, much like every night, was made for you and your bros to get fuccked up and hook up with slam pieces.

Through the haze of chugging three bottles, you see a familiar face across the bar. You don’t remember her name, but let’s be honest, outside of your favorite porn star, what girl’s name do you remember? Then it hits you – that’s one of your slam piece’s friends. Sure she was annoying as fucck when you met her, but you might as well fucck her because she was looking for some dickin’. You approach her and within 10 minutes, you’re getting fuccking dome shots in the girls’ bathroom. Thirty minutes after you emerged from the ladies room doing “The Dougie” while your bros chanted your name, your slam piece calls – she’s fucking pissed. You don’t pick up the phone and don’t even fuccking bother listening to the 5 minute long screaming voicemail. You just send her the three words that make you a free man: “We’re done bittch.” Serves her right. That’s what she fuccking gets for trying to control you. While bros hate being trapped in a relationship – you better fuccking believe they love dumping bitches.

Now I know what everyone out there is saying – “How the fucck would bros ever get into a situation where they would have to dump a bittch? Bros don’t have girlfriends, they have slam pieces!” While this is by definition true, there’s a problem. Slam pieces realize bros are the most genetically perfect human beings so they naturally get attached. They don’t want just a one night stand, they want the whole fuccking thing. Sadly, there is only so much bro to go around, therefore we have to step up and do the right thing. We have to let those biitches know when we’ve used them up. Bros get such a fuccking high by seeing how devastated a girl gets when she finds out she’ll never get to bang them again. The more she cries and begs to stay together, the more he realizes, “I’m really fuccking good at banging!” So how does a bro dump a girl? Let’s take a fuccking look!

1. Loud Public Dumping – Everyone says the smart thing to do when you’re breaking up is to do it in public - that way there won’t be a scene. Well, bros do that shiit in public, but they do it to make a scene. By dumping a girl at the bar, while everyone and their fuccking mother is around to witness it, not only do you let the World know that you’re single and ready to bang some stranger, but that you are the one that did the dumping. Slam pieces fuccking love a bro who’s in charge, so this shiit just makes you even more of a bang-magnet.

2. Ignore Her – Say it’s past the point of a public dumping and you just want to move on and really never talk to her again. In this case, it’s best to just ignore the shiit out of her. When I say ignore, I don’t mean just wait longer to return her phone calls or text messages – I mean just straight up pretend that she never fuccking existed. Like say you run into her at the bar - treat her like a stranger. When she comes screaming in your face about why you won’t talk to her, ask her what her name is. She’ll probably call you an asshole or some shiit, but just tell her that’s not your name and introduce yourself. If she doesn’t get the picture by this point, make it clear that you’re single and ask her if she’s got a boyfriend. By acting like she doesn’t exist, eventually she won’t. Fucck that biitch

3. Cheat on Her - Sometimes, bros just need to do the honorable thing: bang another slam piece. Now this is tricky - since bros are the smartest people on the fuccking planet, they always get away with cheating, but when you’re trying to dump a biitch, you WANT to get caught. Perhaps the best method is by banging one of your girlfriend’s roommates, friends, or even one of her sisters. This ensures that she will definitely find out. In addition banging one of her close friends will be easy as shiit since all girls fuccking do is gossip, so they will have definitely heard how fuccking awesome you are at banging. She’ll usually be so embarrassed that she’ll never want to speak to you again, which is obviously a fuccking jackpot. Side effects for her may include years of therapy, but don’t worry - her future husband/ “taster of your dick” will pay for that.

“Let’s just be friends.” It’s a phrase the rest of society uses when they break up. It may ease their guilt, but luckily for us – we don’t get guilt. When bros dump biitches, there’s no worrying about her feelings or telling her “it’s gonna be alright” while you gently pat her on the back – there’s fuccking tears! After all, being with a bro is the pinnacle of any girl’s life. Despite her violent eruptions and ridiculous claims that we’re “assholes” for sleeping with their sisters, time will pass. You fuccking know that some late night down the road you’ll get that text saying, “What are you up 2??” Oh, she’ll be back for another ride on the almighty D – they always come back.

Only true bros will understand
Don't be a pusssy, be a fuccking bro

bitchcrafts:
Is that karma speaking? oh well, know that karma works to balance things out. Nothing wrong in fvcking and later dumping if she'd been cool with the fvkcing in the first place. If bieetches don't want the pain liberating from a byebye to be fvking prickly, let her keep her legs fvking closed.Even ma sis, preach that gospel instead of buying the sympathy with emotional words. Better cautious than be sorry.

Natotogokillme:
Best way to dump a biitch? Take her to a hotel room and fawk her hard. And when she's about to have orgasm, pull out and tell her it's over. Bang the door in her face when you're leaving.

Babzilla:
Thats realt talk bro. Sadly many guys dont know the difference btw a slam piece and a keeper. they wanna put a ring on a hoe then later cry like a bìtch

trollolololol:
Only pusssy niggas are scared of karma. Are you a pusssy nigga or a bro? Choose wisely

bitchcrafts:
WoW, This's for them bad strong men that could hold Cum.ming back as long as long

TuneChi369:
My bro,ive never been a pussy nigga,and I pray I die before I be a pussy nigga.

Natotogokillme:
Lol! I can hold it. But you just have to know when she's about to cum too. It's that moment she starts convulsing and holding you tight. That's the right moment to pull out and leave the biatch, unsatisfied.

trollolololol:
Better! Don't let them pull you into the pusssy nigga life. Keep your eyes open and keep being a bro.

Freakypinky:
You can't dump a b!tch that way.
only mommy's girls would fall for that .

A real b!tch would smash your car and light up your apartment if you ever try something funny.

Babzilla:
cc
paulkillerman paulkillermanag obontami

Natotogokillme:
Lol! I can hold it. But you just have to know when she's about to cum too. It's that moment she starts convulsing and holding you tight. That's the right moment to pull out and leave the biatch, unsatisfied.

KingCheezyPuff:
°You need ta calm down.

trollolololol:
[s]
you need to stay in a hoe's place. If you want the dicck, ask politely and someone might consider you as a slam piece. Don't come here with your bullshiiit pretence[/s]

. you come here ta NL. just ta Play at being douche(d!ck in your speak)?!
. ..I think so.

KingCheezyPuff:
. you come here ta NL. just ta Play at being douche(d!ck in your speak)?!
. ..I think so..

trollolololol:
your point is?

KingCheezyPuff:
°That yer pretenses is see through.
You nit nearly as douchey in reality? why form.the forming isn't even tight.

trollolololol:
Biitch you need to chase education instead of chasing dicck. Wtf? Is that English or what?

trollolololol:
[s]Biitch you need to chase education instead of chasing dicck[/s]. Wtf? Is that English or what?

*SIGH* .. you still trying? It's see through son.

trollolololol:
I blame the pusssy nigga that let this biitch have access to the internet. Keep yours hoes on a leash, they won't hear

donbenedict:
This thread is so dope!
No wonder the ladies were scared of commenting!
Hahahahaha

trollolololol:
I blame the pusssy nigga that let this biitch have access to the internet. Keep yours hoes on a leash, they won't hear

°I think you need a timeout

KingCheezyPuff:
[color=#ffd891]°you had to hide behind that moniker to come into this thread?
And you spoke of our fear!
When will you be original?
...ah well atleast yer not as bad as the 1 below. [/color]
°I think you need a timeout

Babzilla:

TuneChi369:
Oh,because you don't have a sis and you think you free.They said karma is a bitch...and it's awaits you...Na nairaland here we dey when you go come complain last last.

Babzilla:
cc paulkil lerman paulk illermanag obo ntami

MrObontami:
I'm here breh

Babzilla:
Baba welcome
This thread cannot be complete without your wise contributions Sir
*hands him mic*

KingCheezyPuff:
[color=#ffd891]*slaps the mic outta his hand* don't you dare corrupt him [/color]

Babzilla:
Hey!

I could ask you the same

KingCheezyPuff:
I could ask you the same