₦airaland Forum

Kakamorufu:
u didnt read d part where the other guy sent 'if i handle you again' to the woman phone

sinceraconcept:
that gender equality bullshit is what's making you women think you have the same right with men. A cheating man can be forgiven,a cheating woman can not be forgiven. Stop comparing yourself to men,both are different genders

shandybaba:
Hmm, dis is serious oo. One of d most painful tins dat can ever happen to man is cheating wife. It disturb emotionally especially wen kids re involved and u still care 4 d wife. Am beginning to ve similar experience but am trying not to believe. My wife dat used to sleep b4 9pm b4 now chat wit her male friend till after 11pm in d sitting room b4 coming to bed. She put d fone aside when she see me coming. Anyway may God guide us how to deal with did kind of thing asap.

loveisblind:
Greetings to all NLs.....i think solution to my problem will come from good people of this forum and such will safe me from doing the wrong thing.

It all started wen i was dating my wife of which my fam did not want her as they want me to marry someone else, though they could not tell me to my face why.....Also my wife families did not want her to marry me base on xtian vs Muslim stuff, but we both insisted....after some years we have kids and later we did our wedding witot any assistance from both families i.e. we shoulder it alone......recently, in the night, while she was in her room, PHCN brought light and i was helping her to charge her fon and i saw a guy's number whom they ve been calling each other almost on daily basis, on a normal ground i dont check her fon and she doesnt check mine....but wen i noticed this number, i went straight to chat with d guy, only for the guy to be responding romantically, i pretended as if its my wife behold....d guy was saying ........If i handle you again......I cant belief myself reading such, i quietly dropped the fon, and went to bed, the next morning I confronted her and she said the guy is her friend that nothing attached.....I did not want to escalate the matter for children's record, i went to work, wen i came back i asked her younger one staying with us if she is aware of the guy, she said yes is just a friend to her elder sister......I called my wife again and she was so bold and bragging that whats the big deal in having male friend.........

I noticed he had called the guy wen i was away to work, i dont know what they discussed anyway. I told her not to cook for me anymore and nothing like sex in between us....for some weeks now it has been like this......Now my pains are these:-

I cant report to my family
I cant report to her family too cos the father never attended our wedding he only sent delegates
I dont want to take laws into my own hand cos i feel like pulling down mountain
We married legally and I feel like filing for divorce cos have told her in the beginning that such act is what i cannot forgive in my life
If i divorce, what about my little kids, who will take kia of them cos I know she doesnt have what it take to ?
before i discovered this she told me if she does such i can never find out and i told her if she try it i will surely know

Am totally fed up with the marriage cos there are lots have been enduring, believing its subject to change but for the past 10years no changes.

Please what do you think?

AreaFada2:
Well, maybe dem babes don't know but when we guys use that phrase we know pretty well what we mean.

After all the lady is not a bicycle, Motorcycle or Keke Marwa with handle.

I think ladies are pretty used to lurid chats with their legions of online male friends now that all seem normal to them.

thorpido:
You don't talk like you're married(a teenager on this forum I guess) so you won't understand.

loveisblind:
Greetings to all NLs.....i think solution to my problem will come from good people of this forum and such will safe me from doing the wrong thing.

It all started wen i was dating my wife of which my fam did not want her as they want me to marry someone else, though they could not tell me to my face why.....Also my wife families did not want her to marry me base on xtian vs Muslim stuff, but we both insisted....after some years we have kids and later we did our wedding witot any assistance from both families i.e. we shoulder it alone......recently, in the night, while she was in her room, PHCN brought light and i was helping her to charge her fon and i saw a guy's number whom they ve been calling each other almost on daily basis, on a normal ground i dont check her fon and she doesnt check mine....but wen i noticed this number, i went straight to chat with d guy, only for the guy to be responding romantically, i pretended as if its my wife behold....d guy was saying ........If i handle you again......I cant belief myself reading such, i quietly dropped the fon, and went to bed, the next morning I confronted her and she said the guy is her friend that nothing attached.....I did not want to escalate the matter for children's record, i went to work, wen i came back i asked her younger one staying with us if she is aware of the guy, she said yes is just a friend to her elder sister......I called my wife again and she was so bold and bragging that whats the big deal in having male friend.........

I noticed he had called the guy wen i was away to work, i dont know what they discussed anyway. I told her not to cook for me anymore and nothing like sex in between us....for some weeks now it has been like this......Now my pains are these:-

I cant report to my family
I cant report to her family too cos the father never attended our wedding he only sent delegates
I dont want to take laws into my own hand cos i feel like pulling down mountain
We married legally and I feel like filing for divorce cos have told her in the beginning that such act is what i cannot forgive in my life
If i divorce, what about my little kids, who will take kia of them cos I know she doesnt have what it take to ?
before i discovered this she told me if she does such i can never find out and i told her if she try it i will surely know

Am totally fed up with the marriage cos there are lots have been enduring, believing its subject to change but for the past 10years no changes.

Please what do you think?

grossintel:
Are you married? If you are hope you broke your wife's sim card bro in this modern age you don't just push your wife around if she's educated. She decides the friends to keep its her right, she had friends in her life that kept her the way you saw and liked her.

deolaarc:
Firstly, forgiveness is the key here. Stop focusing on the negative part in the foundation of the marriage. You signed the dotted line for better for worse.
I will start from your words, I, I,I..you focus too much on yourselve. When couples fight In marriage 2 of them may be right. Is there anything you are not doing right?
Your wife cheating, that is a bad one, have you investigated further?, do you have enough evidence? Keep a eagle eye watch if truly she does you will see more. Try to have many proove watch if that is deniable Be prepared to forgive. When you catch a cheat. Let her be the judge. Peace

fortune1968:
Pls most of thb pple talking here are not being objective. if u dont divore her,SHE WILL KILL U OR U KILL HER. where wiii d kids be then ?

thorpido:
I think you should calm down.
There must have been a reason why you both decided to marry even when the odds were against you.Think back on those times and ask yourself what went wrong.It seems you and your wife grew apart and that is the reason why she is getting attention from another man.
Do you still love your wife and want the marriage?Why don't you find a convenient time to sit with your wife and have a deep talk?Ask each other where you've gone wrong and try to make amends.Make commitment to re-ignite the spark and love at the beginning.

6fit:
My Bro, leave all those gist poeple above me are gisting.....a leopad never change it skin....yur wife will never change.... Just visit d nearest vodo man and get yurself a Thurnder Bot (aka Magun). Fis on her and thank me later

KenModi:
Op, heart-to-heart converstaion would save you alot; but seems you are tired of doing it over and over again.

Cheating I know is exteremely difficult to forgive but would tell you one thing, for the sake of your kids, don't give up on her. They need their mum and they deserve to grow up in a united home.

To err is human but to forgive is divine.

Kimoni:
Why naa? Women forgive their cheating partners everyday so it's really not a big deal

crazymommy:
This is the kind of thread where you will find "hypocrisy".... those that usually say a woman should not stay with a cheating husband will suddenly be telling the man to be patient with her...then you see those that usually say a woman should be patient with a cheating husband will suddenly condemn the wife of the op....i hope people now understand why people like us say cheating is bad whether male or female....what is good for the goose is good for the gander...

ciwi:
OP, I'm a bit confused. I don't see any where you wrote that you confirmed she is cheating. She only said there's nothing wrong with having a male friend. Is that the basis for your conclusion that she is cheating?

sweetcocoa:
OP search your heart for the answers you seek.

Meanwhile, all these people saying 'send her parking', why exactly? OP should only consider that option if he's never cheated.

loveisblind:
Greetings to all NLs.....i think solution to my problem will come from good people of this forum and such will safe me from doing the wrong thing.

It all started wen i was dating my wife of which my fam did not want her as they want me to marry someone else, though they could not tell me to my face why.....Also my wife families did not want her to marry me base on xtian vs Muslim stuff, but we both insisted....after some years we have kids and later we did our wedding witot any assistance from both families i.e. we shoulder it alone......recently, in the night, while she was in her room, PHCN brought light and i was helping her to charge her fon and i saw a guy's number whom they ve been calling each other almost on daily basis, on a normal ground i dont check her fon and she doesnt check mine....but wen i noticed this number, i went straight to chat with d guy, only for the guy to be responding romantically, i pretended as if its my wife behold....d guy was saying ........If i handle you again......I cant belief myself reading such, i quietly dropped the fon, and went to bed, the next morning I confronted her and she said the guy is her friend that nothing attached.....I did not want to escalate the matter for children's record, i went to work, wen i came back i asked her younger one staying with us if she is aware of the guy, she said yes is just a friend to her elder sister......I called my wife again and she was so bold and bragging that whats the big deal in having male friend.........

I noticed he had called the guy wen i was away to work, i dont know what they discussed anyway. I told her not to cook for me anymore and nothing like sex in between us....for some weeks now it has been like this......Now my pains are these:-

I cant report to my family
I cant report to her family too cos the father never attended our wedding he only sent delegates
I dont want to take laws into my own hand cos i feel like pulling down mountain
We married legally and I feel like filing for divorce cos have told her in the beginning that such act is what i cannot forgive in my life
If i divorce, what about my little kids, who will take kia of them cos I know she doesnt have what it take to ?
before i discovered this she told me if she does such i can never find out and i told her if she try it i will surely know

Am totally fed up with the marriage cos there are lots have been enduring, believing its subject to change but for the past 10years no changes.

Please what do you think?

lumydee44:
OP don't do this,bad idea. You can always talk to a non-sentimental counsellor. I think she's cheating on you cos of your inability to satisfy her. She probably missed the good old days. We all make mistakes. Make time out of no time to work on yourself too, it's important, don't just exist for others.

Teensway:
your moniker tells me more about you dear.

Chosen1984:
DON'T DIVORCE HER: ITS WRONG BIBLICAL NO MATTER THE REASON.

grossintel:
What makes you think you are better of than a female? Wake up man your delusional. You mention responsibilities like a female can't afford to cather for her family and her extended family. Your a typical African man with a usless ethic mentality. The most powerful person in the world will soon be a female, this is the 21st century where you don't think your better than a woman and applaud yourself for infidelity. If you cheat on your wife and she decides to leave she made no mistake. It's people like you that give rights to men abusing their wives and see themselves as demi gods. This is the main reason African men are not comfortable with their wife's earning more money than they do. Wake up man.